"When we first started exploring reflective listening, I was frustrated by how poorly I did it. I fumbled and projected... got distracted by my own thoughts and what I wanted to express... it felt unnatural, awkward, sterile and incredibly humbling to be such a smudgy reflection for others, when I used to identify myself as a clear and competent communicator.
Then, a few weeks into it, I noticed something remarkable happen... in our 10/13/12 circle, I noticed an EXPANDED CAPACITY within me... as if, somehow, the space inside me had grown larger, and could give more room to the thoughts, ideas and expressions of others. And, at the same time, my "need" to speak no longer had a sense of urgency.
I could contribute as speaker if the opportunity arose, and I'd be equally content as active, engaged listener. No preference or attachment to any outcome. Just full satisfaction with being there, trusting the development of things, and enjoying the people (Edwin, Lidewij, Alice and Shelly) who were catalyzing the development.
At one point, as Alice was speaking a gift of collective wisdom, I experienced something that felt like a mind-meld... even though observations were coming from her mouth, I felt so attuned to the things she was saying, it was almost as if she was speaking on my behalf.
Stronger than resonance, and very hard to describe, but what an utterly pleasing thing to experience -- oneness and equanimity in conversational connection -- with frequent bursts of boisterous laughter and startling insights."
Erika Harris