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Empathy Circle Facilitator Training
Cohort 2: Module 1: Session 1 of 4
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2020-06-23 Empathy Circle Facilitator Training #1
Notes by Greg
Values of A Culture of Empathy
Curiosity: Curiosity about others and what is important to them
Openness: Openness about, and to, oneself, and about different points of view.
Honesty: Honesty about saying what is important to you, even if it is different from other people’s ideas or feelings
Mutuality: In the circle, mutuality means following the structure provided to ensure everyone gets an equal chance to be heard to their satisfaction
Inclusion: Inclusion recognizes the richness of diversity and takes action to include that diversity.
Equality: This is no hierarchy in a circle, everyone participates as a person, not as a role (Boss/employee, parent/child, etc.
Understanding the principles helps with facilitating
A response to lack of openness is to create more feeling of safety.
Safety does not mean being protected from hearing things you don’t want to hear. Reflecting back does not mean you agree with what the person said.
If a listener goes off simply saying back what the speaker is saying, the facilitator can step in and say “I hear you asking a question; that’s not your role at this moment.”
The goal for a facilitator is for everyone to feel fully heard.
Asking people to say something they love to do is a way to expose their humanness.
It helps for the facilitator to be the first listener, to model what that is like.
Listening for (a) information; (b) feelings; (c) the speaker’s values. [This is not explicitly taught; that would put people in their heads. It’s best that people develop this from practice.]
[Not part of training… People who want social change criticize and judge, and it’s because they want change, but they get the opposite of what they want when they attack so. And they do it because of their pain, which he has empathy for.]
[One lady really listened to a cab driver who was dumping about his bad feelings. As she listened, the driver felt it and softened, to where he was then friendly by the end of the trip.]
Later training (sessions 3 & 4) go into what to do if someone doesn’t want to follow/do the process, and what to do if someone is really strongly disagreeable to others’ values, views.
Sometimes people find it mentally exhausting to do this listening & reflecting; how to deal with that?
Session 1:
Empathy Buddy Support - Pre Circle. - an empathy bath.
how an empathy buddy support call.
Being a facilitator can be draining, - Going into a new situation, or especially facilitating conflict. We have a facilitator support group to support you, there is also having pre and post circles.
match up with 2 others in the group and do a precircle.
1 hour, 30 min each. how are you feeling about taking part in the empathy circle Training?
After the Training, How are you now about having done the training, any challenges, struggles, successes, joy. Take a full 30 minutes.. speak to what is alive for you.
Model the listening:
.. empathic listening about how you feel about facilitation. empathy. etc
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