What are the benefits to being the Reflective Listener?
Gain deeper and more accurate understanding of the other person. Their feelings/Thoughts
Ingrid - A feeling in a conflicting empathy circle is… it frees me to not get so caught up in it. It gives you space around the conflict.
Get a clearer more accurate understanding of the speaker.
It is freeing to listen, I’m not as defensie.
Creates resilience
Slowing down in the circle helps me slow down. Carry into your daily life
Quality of presence is enhances and nurtures
To experience being fully present with someone else (and forget my worries.)
To practice listening and reflecting back and to learn what works and doesn’t work.
To have a feeling of connection with the speaker.
To have a sense of contributing to another person.
To accompany someone on their journey?
Why: (what is the felt experience you are creating?) feeling of ease for the other, warmth, open to felt experience (I don’t know if “feeling ease and warmth for the other” person is always true - it can give me more understanding but if they are telling me about something horrific that they did - I may not feel ease and warmth for them but I can understand what they did.
Be vulnerable - not sure what to do with this.
From the heart - can this be added to one of the other bullets.
Being fully present with someone else helps not to take this too personally
. (This is related to one of the first bullets about being fully present - just not sure what to do with it. )
BENEFITS FOR LISTENER
I do the empathic active listening for my own well being.
gives me more clarity of what the speaker is saying.
keeps me feeling more present. I can’t be planning what to say.
I tend to detach, go off and not pay attention..
feels good that I’m more involved.
It helps me integrate what I’m hearing.
it creates more space in me.
field-dependent thinking
"Putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes—a part of our subconscious behavior—causes measurable changes in our cognitive style, increasing our so-called field-dependent thinking. " IDEO
In conflict/problem solving - Get to the core issue
Gets you to the core of the problem. Like an onion, the problem is at the core and the listening allows the surface issues to be pealed away so you can connect to and address the core issues.