Experiences: What have been some of your experiences, over the course of your life, with speaking and feeling heard, seen and understood?
Jyoti
My experience is that I can't hear others if I am not heard myself. If my empathy bucket is not full I get blocked, scared and feel unsafe.
Susan Campbell
Sometimes people go on and on and it is hard to interrupt them without having them feel hurt or insulted. I have gotten pretty good at this, however.
Evan Magor
I feel that people often come to me when they’re in crisis and in need of a non judgmental ear. As early as college, I’ve tried to work on my listening skills to be able to try and listen without reacting with my own emotions. It’s a continual work in progress.
Toby Yesterday
I often feel trapped listening to people. I want to be present and listen, but then people are so starved for being heard that they go on and on. I have had challenges figuring out how to set boundaries with people about how much listening I am willing to do. I also sometimes struggle to be present with people’s humanity when they are in full “jackal” mode - expressing lots of judgment and blame and confusing their interpretation of reality with observation.
Zak Wear
Reflective listening remains a new experience that takes concentration and energy to do. When dialogue really meanders I can struggle to stay connected. Can also feel trapped in some interactions where the other person is pouring and pouring and I’m just listening.
William Filler
As a retired Special Education teacher, I am well aware of the importance of people being heard. In the population I worked with, I saw the direct correlation between students gaining expressive and receptive communication skills and a reduction in physically acting out. During the circle I have experienced a meaningful exchange with others from around the world that has affected me greatly.
Sam Kifer
Growing up, I was always someone my friends confided in, and someone who was always able to see and understand both sides of a conflict. I enjoy being able to listen and develop an understanding of people and all different points of view, as well as to expand my own point of view. However, I do still struggle with concerns about what to say next or how to add to the conversation, and can get lost in my own thoughts while listening to others. I’m looking to deepen my ability to remain fully present WITH the Speaker rather than with my thoughts. I hope to improve my ability to also listen more deeply for the underlying feelings and needs, as this will very much improve my practice as a school counselor.
Edwin Rutsch
Sometimes l listen and can feel a stress or rigidity in my body as I listen and other times if feels very fluid.
Often I find I listen and others don’t listen back.. They just want to talk and do not ask questions or seem interested in me.
When people drone on and on I get frustrated. I sometimes try to listen to a deeper level and think if they are really heard on the deepest need, they may make space to listen as well.
When I listen empathically, and people seem to feel heard and understood, I feel a sense of satisfaction that I was able to create that feeling of understanding and connection.
Ask questions and needing attention
Enjoy the deeper feelings.. The journey of deeply feeling