Reflective Listener - Active Listener
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Advance Tips
How do you want to be heard by the listener?
You teach the listener to hear you the way you want to be heard.
( ) I don’t know.
( ) Quite: no talking, just presence
( ) Reflection
( ) Direct mirroring as close as possible to the essence
( ) Direct Mirroring with interpretations (explain what sort of interpretations)
( ) Paraphrasing
( ) Summarizing
( ) Meaning
( ) Listener guess underlying feelings and needs
( ) Shared reactions – listener to offer their reactions to comments
( ) Listener to offer Advice
( ) Listener to ask Questions
( ) Sympathy (“I feel so sorry for what happened to you”)
( ) Dialog – old fashioned
( ) Intuitive dialog
( ) Regular old dialog
( ) Listener share reactions and thoughts that arise
( ) Give support. “that’s though, hang in there”
( ) Advice guesses when appropriate
( ) I want to intimate the listener, make them feel afraid so I can dominate them.
( ) Role Playing
( ) People
( ) Feelings
( ) Physical Mirroring of feelings expressed
( ) A shared action
( ) Others? please explain…….
( ) the listener should intuitively know how I want to be heard and hear me that way. If they do not hear me the correct way I would like to;
( ) withdraw
( ) condemn them for being;
( ) stupid
( ) uncaring
( ) ass holes
( ) authoritarians
( ) narcissists
( ) self centered
( ) psychopaths
( ) add yours here; ___________
( ) Others? Please explain…….
I need to speak since my thoughts are so important and I don’t want to forget
them.
I want to control the conversations with my questions.
I want to control the conversations with my importance.
How will you teach the listener to hear you the way you want to be heard?
Dialog question, How is the group relationship now?
Why or why not would you return to the group?
Team up and call each other and do a post meeting debrief with notes, to send to
group?
Put together a list of questions to ask each other.
What would you like to offer, request, suggest for next steps?