Bonus Chapter 1

After Wen Huo gave birth to Chen Tingwen, she was weak for a long time. Chen Cheng was obsessed with the side effects of waking up from the coma. Aside from work and spending time with Wen Huo, he was either doing rehabilitation or exercising. The doctor had clearly told him that the side effects were minor and that he could live a normal life, but he was a perfectionist and was determined to return to the state he was in before he tried to kill himself.

At noon, Cheng Cuo went to see Wen Huo to check on Chen Cheng’s condition, but he wasn’t there. Wen Huo handed him an apple and asked him to peel it for her. “He went to the gym.” Cheng Cuo took the apple without a moment’s hesitation, as if he were used to her oppressive nature, and started peeling the apple for her. “Got it.” Wen Huo said, “He’s going to get rid of the scar on his head.” “That’s normal,” Cheng Cuo said. “That’s very Chen Cheng of him.” Wen Huo said, “He could have forced himself to stay alive back then.” Cheng Cuo cut the peeled apple into chunks, put them on a plate, and handed it to her with a fruit fork. “Do you think the saying, ‘Flies don’t bite seamless eggs’ is a fair statement?” “No.”

“‘Your suffering is not a reason to hurt others’ is another saying that is also misinterpreted,” Cheng Cuo said. “Suffering doesn’t necessarily lead to growth; it can also destroy a person. When a person is destroyed, telling them, ‘You’ve suffered, but that’s not a reason to hurt others’ is like telling a mentally ill person, ‘You’re mentally ill, but that’s not a reason for you to act weird in public.’“ Wen Huo ate her apple slowly.

Cheng Cuo continued, “Not everyone has a strong heart. We can’t expect everyone to accept being hurt and still face life positively.” Wen Huo retorted, “It sounds like you’re saying that we should be tolerant of people who inflict their suffering on others.” Cheng Cuo shook his head. “If he inflicts his suffering on others, he should, of course, be held accountable. If he commits a crime, he should, of course, confess and be punished. I’m saying that more people should reflect on themselves in these disasters, learn from them, and find a way to become strong enough to face some hardships. Instead of being spectators, standing on the sidelines, trying to dictate what the people involved should do, or making prejudiced comments.”

Wen Huo listened to him. Cheng Cuo was a little sad. “When a disaster strikes, everyone involved is sad, whether they are right or wrong. Bystanders really shouldn’t have to voice their prejudices. It could be the last straw that breaks the camel’s back. If everyone could do that, I believe there would be fewer people having mental breakdowns. But there’s nothing we can do. As long as we’re alive, we’ll always have to face all kinds of unhelpful people, events, and voices.” As a psychologist, he was always filled with regret and sorrow when he talked about these things. “It’s always been this way throughout history. Look at all the famous people in history who died of depression. We really can be a little more tolerant. We can report truly evil people to the authorities with evidence, and the country won’t ignore it. But it’s so sad when people say hurtful things just to make themselves feel good, or to vent, or to avoid responsibility.”

He continued on and on. “Do people or things have to die or be hurt just because you don’t like them? Is it free speech and freedom of action for you to hurt them, but it’s an infringement on your rights if they talk back? Do people have to be forced to their deaths before the whole world starts to love them? It’s terrible. This world is terrible. My heart aches for every single one of my patients who has been hurt by this world.” Wen Huo sensed that something was wrong. She put down her apple and sat up. “What’s wrong?” Cheng Cuo was so sad. “One of my patients committed suicide by jumping into a river last night.” Wen Huo was speechless and didn’t know what to say.

Cheng Cuo brought the topic back to Chen Cheng. “The fact that my cousin avoided things that made him feel sad shows that his illness was already very serious. He could barely control his mania, but he couldn’t control his depression. You and Su Di were two people who could make him break down. And you two were connected. It was a vicious circle, and of course, he couldn’t break it. This has nothing to do with how strong he is. Even the strongest person can be defeated by mental and psychological problems.”

Wen Huo lowered her head. He couldn’t imagine it, but she could understand it. She could understand Chen Cheng’s actions in that situation. Cheng Cuo’s voice got softer. “So, Wen Huo, it’s not that he didn’t force himself, it’s that his mental state at the time didn’t allow it. I’m a psychologist. I know all too well the influence of the mind and psychology.” Wen Huo thought of herself. She felt like she had also been held hostage by her emotions for a while.

Cheng Cuo then talked about her. “Just like your erratic behavior when you were pregnant. Of course, not everyone has a strong reaction when they’re pregnant. But for those who do, it’s because they can’t control themselves. They really can’t help it.” Wen Huo pursed her lips. She didn’t want to think about that time because that memory was followed by Chen Cheng’s injury. She didn’t want to relive the image of him in a coma. She stopped him from talking. “Let’s talk about something else.” Cheng Cuo saw that he might have upset her and apologized. “I’m sorry, my patient is gone, and my emotions are a little unstable too.”

Wen Huo understood. “I wasn’t serious when I said Chen Cheng could have forced himself to stay alive. I experienced the entire process of losing him. I actually understand him better than you do, and how hard it was for him at that time.” Cheng Cuo sighed softly. It had been so long, but it still made them sad to talk about it.

Wen Huo patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t be so fixated. In other words, you think those who make prejudiced comments about other people’s disasters are wrong, but isn’t that a form of prejudice too? Maybe they were also a victim, and they just couldn’t control themselves.” Cheng Cuo was a little taken aback. Wen Huo said, “You’ve studied human nature and psychology to an unbalanced extent. You should relax a little and be more natural.” When Wen Huo pointed it out, Cheng Cuo realized that he had also been controlled by his emotions.

After Chen Cheng’s accident, Wen Huo rarely talked about what was right or wrong. What was the standard for right and wrong? Was there a specific concept? There wasn’t. So it was better to have a normal mindset. It was like how Chen Cheng’s illness was never truly cured, and social problems would never be completely eradicated. It was better to just let things happen naturally and not overthink things. This was a complete reversal of Wen Huo’s previous attitude towards life. She wasn’t like this before. But that was normal. People changed every day. So it was better not to talk about people, life, society, or the world, and just live one day at a time.

After talking to Wen Huo, Cheng Cuo felt a lot better. Indeed, being too fixated on whether a certain phenomenon was right or wrong would lead to a dead end and a vicious cycle of negative emotions. As they were talking, Wen Huo’s delivery arrived. She jumped up from the sofa, looking very excited. Cheng Cuo was curious. “What is it?” Wen Huo got a pretty big box, and the corners of her mouth curved into a smile. Cheng Cuo stared at the box. “What is it, really?” Wen Huo didn’t say. She put the box away and told him, “I need to feed my son.” Cheng Cuo understood that she was sending him away. “Alright, I’ll come back and find him another time.”

After sending Cheng Cuo away, Wen Huo went upstairs to see her son. He was really ugly when he was first born, with a wrinkled and dark face. She and Chen Cheng were not dark, so she had once doubted if the son was really Chen Cheng’s. Had she had an affair with someone? No, it had only been Chen Cheng from beginning to end. Looking at him now, he had grown a little, his skin was paler, and his eyes and eyebrows resembled Chen Cheng’s. It was rare for a son to look so much like his father, but it was a good thing. It was good that he looked like him. He was handsome.

She washed her hands and picked him up, calling his name. “Son, come, let’s have some milk.” The first time Wen Huo breastfed, her nipples cracked. Chen Cheng’s heart ached, and he lectured the newborn, who had no awareness, for over ten minutes. Wen Huo watched from the side, feeling both touched and amused. It wasn’t his first time being a father, so why was he acting like such an idiot? Was it because the first child wasn’t his biological one? After that time, Chen Cheng didn’t let Wen Huo breastfeed anymore, but Wen Huo had a lot of milk, so she had to express the excess and save it. The process of expressing milk wasn’t painful; it was just a hassle. During that time, Chen Cheng would also help. He would get excited about expressing milk and considered himself an expert. If she couldn’t finish, he would want to drink it too, sharing a side with their son. Now Wen Huo was used to it and just breastfed him directly again.

Chen Cheng came back at that moment, right on time for his son’s feeding. He quickly took a shower and went to Wen Huo, wanting to drink her milk. Wen Huo didn’t let him. “Is this for you? Do you drink it every day? There isn’t even enough for your son!” Chen Cheng didn’t mind. He wasn’t picky. “Then other places are fine too.” “No!” Wen Huo felt that her stamina wasn’t quite there after giving birth. She didn’t know if it was her imagination, but she always felt so weak after being with Chen Cheng. She had never been this weak before. In order to be able to get out of bed later, she rejected his request for some action. Chen Cheng went downstairs after she rejected him.

Wen Huo didn’t realize the seriousness of the situation at that moment. After feeding her son and showering, she spent a long time reading documents. When she noticed that Chen Cheng was gone and went downstairs to look for him, he was already asleep in the study, lying on the desk. She walked over and gently touched his face. She felt that he had been very tired lately. His secretary had told her that he had a lot of work to do recently. She slowly took the phone he was clutching in his hand. The screen unlocked, and it was a picture of her. She looked through his photo album, and it was full of her pictures, but they were all normal ones. He was probably afraid of losing his phone and having others see the pictures, so he had deleted all the revealing ones and the ones of them together. She put the phone down, grabbed a chair, and sat down next to him, leaning down to face him.

Before, when she only saw Chen Cheng as a tool, she was very calm and treated him like any other accomplished person she wasn’t interested in. She didn’t even admire him. Later, she started to lust after him, and then she started to love him. She put on a filter, and his image instantly became taller and more magnificent. She curved the corners of her lips. It was so good to be able to look at him up close like this, and it was so good to know that he would wake up. She would definitely accumulate more good karma in the future and pray for a hundred years with him. People really only realize the value of something after they’ve lost it.

As she was looking at him, Chen Cheng woke up. He wasn’t surprised to see her. He naturally reached out and pulled her into his arms. Wen Huo sat on his lap and put her arms around his neck. “Should I make you some soup?” Chen Cheng wasn’t hungry. “I want some milk.” Wen Huo laughed, a helpless laugh. “There’s none.” “Then let me starve to death.”

Wen Huo remembered how scared his secretary was of him and could almost imagine how he treated others. She didn’t even need to imagine. He didn’t even give Tang Jun’en a break. But then she looked at how he was with her, Wen Huo. No wonder Jin Ge said that all the men in the Chen family were whipped. She pinched his nose. “I bought some braised pork offal from Xiao Changchen this afternoon.” Chen Cheng didn’t have the same emotional attachment to braised pork offal that Tang Jun’en did. When they were kids, they would eat it on the street from food stalls. Back then, things like fried sausages were popular for a big reason—they didn’t get to eat much oily food. So some people liked that kind of food. Now, when Tang Jun’en wanted to eat it, he wasn’t eating it for the taste; he was eating it for the feeling of the past. It was like how he had been eating ramen from a restaurant in Dongcheng for over a decade. When they moved, he would follow them. Was it really that good? It was just one flavor. There were so many good things to eat now. In the end, he was eating for that deep impression he had when he first ate it.

Wen Huo used to argue with Chen Cheng, saying that the gap between them was too big. They were both from Beijing, but he was at the top, and she was at the bottom. Of course, she didn’t think her life was bad. She just wanted to argue with him and get a rise out of him. It made her feel good. Thinking about it carefully, she and others had really deified people like Chen Cheng. They also ate at street stalls, and some things in their homes were as cheap as ten or twenty yuan. Wen Huo had bought him a T-shirt for a few hundred yuan, and he wore it. He also really liked a little tiger cardholder that Wen Huo had bought him for forty-five yuan with free shipping. He used it for a long time. For his birthday, Wen Huo had spent a fortune and bought him a bunch of things, costing her over six hundred thousand yuan. Although the money was hers, he managed the company, so in a way, she was still spending his money. She had put in so much effort, but his reaction was just so-so. He only got a little happier when she did a striptease for him that night. This jerk even said he didn’t like watching stripteases. Wen Huo later found out that he had used Han Bailu’s phone to ask her to do a striptease and then pretended not to want to watch it himself. It made her so angry. He was such a good person, so why did he have to be such a jerk?!

Speaking of which, another thing came to her mind, and she got serious. “Is there anything you want to tell me about my pregnancy?” “What is it?” Wen Huo squinted at his innocent face. “You never used a condom before, and you would always finish inside, so why didn’t I get pregnant before? Why did I suddenly get pregnant now? Don’t tell me you don’t know. If I find out, we’re going to have a serious talk.” Chen Cheng didn’t admit it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Wen Huo guessed, “Did you get a vasectomy? And then you had it reversed, right? You had it reversed because you knew you were getting old and I was still very young, and you were afraid I would leave, so you wanted to use a child to tie me down, right? How can you be such a jerk, Teacher Chen?” Chen Cheng was hungry. “I’m hungry. Let’s go out and eat.”

Wen Huo saw him trying to evade the topic and knew she was probably right. She got angry and avoided him. “Go away! Don’t touch me!” Chen Cheng saw that she was truly angry and hugged her from behind. “I started wearing a condom after the reversal. But that day, you were the one who insisted we not use one. I had already torn it open, but you threw it away yourself.” Fearing that she would become unreasonable after what he said, he added, “Of course, the main problem is me. I just can’t control myself with you.” Wen Huo had forgotten. “Then why didn’t you tell me? If you had told me that I could get pregnant if you finish inside me now, wouldn’t I have made you wear one? In any case, it’s your fault for getting me pregnant. My mistake is also because of you.” Chen Cheng nodded. “Yes, you’re right about everything.” Wen Huo didn’t want him to hug her and twisted her body away from him. “Get off me! I don’t like old men hugging me!”

Chen Cheng asked her, “Then who was it who sent me a message yesterday while I was at work, asking me to send a picture of my abs? You don’t like old men hugging you, but you lust after old men’s abs? What a double standard, Huohuo?” Wen Huo pretended to have amnesia. “You’re full of it! I didn’t! Someone else asked you for a picture, and you’re blaming me? Ha, another woman asked you for a picture? Teacher Chen’s popularity isn’t falling even after getting married; it’s skyrocketing.” She started to mock him. Chen Cheng took out his phone. “I haven’t deleted the messages. Let’s see who it was.” Wen Huo tried to run, but she couldn’t. Chen Cheng easily grabbed her waist. It was indeed her who sent the messages.

Yesterday afternoon, she took their baby to get his shots with their nanny. A few other moms were talking to her. Out of politeness, she didn’t refuse and chatted with them a little. They were saying that their husbands’ stamina was poor and that they couldn’t keep up, finishing before they even started. It was because of the stressful nature of their jobs. Wen Huo was surprised. Why didn’t Teacher Chen have this problem? After chatting for a bit, they insisted on adding her to a group chat for moms, which was full of pregnant women or new mothers. She had never joined a group chat before and refused. Later, they said they could teach her how to manage her husband, and she became interested. She didn’t want to manage her husband; she believed that she and Chen Cheng were in an equal relationship, and she would agree to whatever he wanted to do. But she felt that there was no harm in listening. After she joined the group, she realized that it wasn’t about managing husbands at all. It was just a group for talking about sex, and the topics were very explicit, especially when they talked about men’s sexual abilities. The chat would be filled with messages in a matter of seconds.

To join the group, she had to post a picture of her husband. She tried to find the ugliest picture of Chen Cheng but couldn’t find one. She didn’t know if it was because of the filter or what, but he was never ugly. They said a picture of any part of the body was fine, like hands, legs, or lips. Wen Huo found it strange, but she messaged Chen Cheng and asked for a picture of his abs. Chen Cheng didn’t send her one. He was in a meeting and didn’t have time to deal with her. Wen Huo guessed when his meeting would be over and checked with his secretary to confirm that he was free before asking him again. Chen Cheng replied, “I don’t have one.” “Can’t you take one right now?” “Haven’t you touched them enough? Do you have to see them?” “Other wives have pictures of their husbands’ abs, but I don’t. I can’t even hold my head up high.” Chen Cheng frowned at the message. How did she know “other wives”? After giving birth, she only had him, the baby, and physics. She didn’t even have any friends. “Who are these ‘other wives’?” “Never mind! If you don’t send me one, I’ll ask other men to take pictures for me. My junior has abs too. They’re rock hard and look great.” Chen Cheng went to the bathroom, unbuttoned his suit jacket and shirt, exposed his chest, and, enduring the embarrassment and tingling scalp, took a picture for her. When Wen Huo saw it, she thought, can I really show this to others? So she silently saved the picture and left the group chat. She couldn’t show anyone Chen Cheng’s body. Only she was allowed to see it!

Chen Cheng saw that she was trying to get away with it. “Do you want to check your WeChat to see if you sent the message?” Wen Huo chickened out. She turned around in his arms and put her arms around his waist, no longer acting so arrogant. “What woman doesn’t like abs? Just like how you men like women’s legs, chests, and butts, it’s normal for women to like abs.” “Admit it?” He had the evidence, so Wen Huo had no choice but to admit it. She nodded. “Yeah, I admit it.” Chen Cheng pinched her nose. “Do you want to see them again?” Wen Huo looked up at him with her big eyes. Chen Cheng tempted her. “I’ll let you see and touch them.”

Oh, damn... The way he was, the things he said, the tone of his voice... Wen Huo’s legs felt weak, and she was getting turned on again. “You... don’t be like that... Teacher Chen... be normal...” Chen Cheng’s words were actually very normal, and he hadn’t said anything dirty, but for some reason, Wen Huo just couldn’t handle it. Every time she heard it, she would get wet. She leaned against Chen Cheng’s chest. “Can you not be so bad? You know I’m lusting after you, so why are you doing this? Is it on purpose?” Her voice was very small, like a little girl’s, a little bit playful and a little bit wronged. When she acted all cutesy, Chen Cheng got hard. He couldn’t help it. He also couldn’t handle her giving in and compromising with him. Every time she did, she was like a little kitten. No man disliked little kittens, especially a little kitten like her who knew her limits. He picked her up and put her on the desk. His hand went down and found her wet. Her breathing hitched, and her toes curled.

After giving birth, Wen Huo had found a personal trainer to help her with Kegel exercises. She didn’t know if they were working, but Chen Cheng always seemed to enjoy himself, so it probably wasn’t any looser than it was before she had the baby. Chen Cheng went down on her. He knelt down, held her legs, and brought her to climax once. After she climaxed, half of her body was shaking uncontrollably, but she still had enough strength to grab the package that had arrived today. She opened the box, and it was a little devil lingerie set and a crystal ball gag. When she picked it up, Chen Cheng’s eyes were no longer clear. He really liked it. Wen Huo dangled the outfit. “Teacher Chen, will you help me put it on?”

Chen Cheng acted as if he was under her spell, obediently took off her clothes, and helped her put on the lingerie. Wen Huo loved it when he dressed her. His hands were beautiful. The thought of those beautiful hands wandering all over her body, dressing her, and caressing her... just the thought of it made her breathless. Chen Cheng knew her body too well. After he had put it on her, he put on the ball gag and then slowly started taking off his own clothes. With the ball gag on, saliva was already starting to pool in her mouth. He was tempting her like this, and the saliva flowed from the corners of her mouth, down to her collarbone, and then further down. She suddenly felt a little embarrassed.

Chen Cheng was getting excited. Before he unbuckled his belt, he deliberately paused, wanting her to whine and beg him to put it in. She said, “Hurry up...” “Beg me.” Wen Huo was so annoyed with him, but she still begged. When she shook his arm, her little devil tail swayed back and forth. The bandeau couldn’t hold her breasts, which had grown during breastfeeding, and they also swayed. “Please, Teacher Chen, can I have it?” Chen Cheng’s eyes got darker and darker. She was so cute! He fucking loved her! He got even harder and couldn’t hold back anymore. He pushed inside and went straight for the G-spot.

The lovemaking went on until the middle of the night. Chen Cheng and Wen Huo made love several times. Finally, they lay naked on the carpet, looking at the light on the ceiling, and thought about the hardships they had gone through. Chen Cheng’s wrong way of rejecting Su Di led to her death, and he developed bipolar disorder. The fact that he got sick meant that he truly considered her a friend and truly believed he was at fault. Wen Huo developed insomnia because of Su Di’s death because she was a friend, a close friend, and also a teacher who comforted her in a foreign country. The cause of both of their illnesses was Su Di. It was a fated entanglement. They were destined to be intertwined, and the truth was destined to be revealed. They had to resolve their issues. It was a hurdle they had to overcome. But the way they had to do it was too cruel.

Who would have thought that Wen Huo would get pregnant at that time? The incident happened during a time when her pregnancy symptoms were severe, and her emotions were unstable. She started to overthink things and refused to communicate, and as a result, Chen Cheng’s depression worsened day by day. By the time she abandoned everything and no longer cared about Su Di’s death, Chen Cheng had already been held hostage by depression. It was so perfectly timed. But it felt like it was supposed to be this way, that they were meant to remember this experience so vividly so that they could cherish every day that followed. Wen Huo suddenly laughed, a laugh of contentment, and a laugh of helplessness at how stupid she was. Chen Cheng didn’t look at her, as if he knew why she was laughing.

Wen Huo’s laughter got louder and louder. It was a beautiful sound. She slowly turned around and looked at Chen Cheng. “Teacher Chen.” Chen Cheng tucked her hair behind her ear. “Hmm.” Wen Huo laughed and then started to cry. She knew that Chen Cheng had saved her life, but she still asked him proudly, “I saved your life, do you admit it?” Chen Cheng smiled faintly. “Yes.” “Then can you hold me?” Chen Cheng reached out and hugged her, pretending not to remember that she had just said she didn’t want an old man to hug her. Just as he hugged her, she suddenly corrected herself. “Oh, I misspoke. I meant repay me.” Chen Cheng didn’t let go and smiled faintly. “How do you want me to repay you?” Wen Huo thought about it seriously. “You’ve already given yourself to me. Now, you can give yourself to me until you die from it.” Chen Cheng was helpless. “You don’t feel sorry for me at all.” Wen Huo sobbed. “But are you willing?” “Yes.”

Chen Cheng had died once and now he knew what he wanted. A thousand worldly pleasures couldn’t compare to the one beautiful, man-eating rose in his hands. So, he didn’t want a thousand worldly affairs. He just wanted this one rose. In the future, no matter how high she flew or how deep she fell, Wen Huo wouldn’t have to worry. She just had to be beautiful and brave. He would be behind her, shining a light on her, helping her remember her beauty and bravery, and carefully preserving and cherishing it. He would dedicate his entire life and everything he had to the title of “Wen Huo’s husband,” the only job he loved. Yes, he was that pathetic.