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The space Yiseo had secretly fled to, away from people’s eyes, was indeed as Jin-han had described—rarely visited. The area, which would be full with just a few adults, had a long, carved marble bench and a long, horizontal window above it.
Beyond the long, narrow window was a serene walking path of the hotel. It seemed to be an area that connected the banquet hall to the back of the walking path.
Yiseo sat down and took a long breath. The moment she realized she was finally alone, her tension eased, and she felt dizzy. She had barely managed to hold back the throbbing headache that had felt like a constant fog, but now the memory of Yoon Sang-baek introducing her and Choi Seong-hee’s reaction made her heart beat with 불안함.
It was the day that family harmony had finally been achieved and shattered at the same time. Today, Yiseo was once again a sinner. As she replayed the dizzying moment she was led like a captive by Yoon Sang-baek to greet people, her grandfather’s wishes, which he had expressed since she was a child, asking when she would finally do her part, overlapped in her mind.
Yiseo felt both happy and sad. The greeting was a signal that she was finally going to be useful as he had wished.
“Hah...”
A faint sigh escaped her soft lips.
As she covered her burning, tired eyes with her hands to clear her mind, Taejo came to mind.
Yiseo slowly closed and opened her eyes. Why was his face and the last look in his eyes coming back to her like a headache?
Those had been days when she had wandered as if she had lost her way. She had believed that the chaotic feelings from her affair with Ryu Taejo had finally subsided. But now, just his name made her heart ache again.
Yiseo pretended not to notice and erased his face from her consciousness. But his cold eyes once again flashed through her mind. Her heart ached.
“Don’t react. Don’t react, please.”
She pressed her chest with her palm and mumbled the words to herself like a spell, but it was no use. Yiseo stared blankly at the sky outside the window. It was a bright and sunny day. Another sigh was lost in that sky.
She had thought that all she had to do was ignore him. She had thought that the days she had been lost had now found their way. But maybe she was wrong.
She didn’t know what this feeling was—the feeling that tormented her the moment she saw him, the feeling that made her feel pathetic in an instant, the feeling that turned into hatred and made her angry, and then only left her with pain.
The moment she let out a breath she had drawn from the depths of her lungs, the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs echoed through the space. Yiseo held her breath. He had said no one came here, but was it Ryu Jin-han?
She quietly raised her head to look at the top of the stairs, where Taejo appeared.
His angry-looking eyes anxiously found Yiseo and then scanned the surroundings. Only after confirming that no one else was there did his anxious gaze turn cold.
He slowly approached, as if he knew she was there, and stood in front of her, blocking her view. A shadow instantly fell over Yiseo’s face.
Silence, and their eyes.
Their gazes crossed diagonally for a long time before they began to flicker like ripples. The space was clearly quiet, but the silence was broken.
The only sound echoing in the space was their breathing. Their even breaths became rougher little by little, little by little, until it was grating to the ear.
“I’ve been looking for you.”
Taejo was the one to speak first, as if he was reluctant to do so. Yiseo looked up at him, her eyes having been focused on his feet.
“Are you waiting for someone?”
Yiseo ignored his question and looked back down. Taejo let out a shallow sigh and sat down quietly next to her, lighting a cigarette. With a clinking sound of cold metal, pungent smoke billowed up. Yiseo silently stayed in her place as the smoke invaded her space without a care.
It had been about a month without any contact.
His arrogant and cold gaze, as if there was a limit to how long he could wait for her, was unwavering. He inhaled and exhaled the smoke in quick succession, as if his insides were on fire. Then, as if he was unhappy with the way things were going, he ground the cigarette out with his foot.
“Why are you being like this?”
Why?
His eyes, as dark as an abyss, reminded her of Yiheon’s advice, which he had given with a face so hard it was difficult to even talk to him.
“He made a bet... a bet about you.”
It was a relationship that began without a conscience, so it would not be strange for it to end irresponsibly. Yiseo silently shook her head. Her face, with nothing to expect, was calm again. Taejo’s lips seemed to have twisted for a moment as he looked at her. He didn’t seem surprised, as if he had already expected this situation. But she didn’t know why he was looking at her with such angry eyes.
After all, he had started it with that intention. Even if it hadn’t been for that incident, the relationship would have ended someday.
“Fine. Let’s pretend it never happened.”
He spoke as if he was doing her a great favor, as if it was a great act of generosity.
“Let’s forget about that day. I’ll turn a blind eye, so you erase it cleanly, too.”
“Pretend what never happened?”
“That day, I mean.”
His gaze, which was digging into the memories, was somehow anxious as he watched her reaction.
“When I said let’s end it.”
“Ah...”
Her indifferent response seemed to frustrate him, and he stood up. His eye level was suddenly above her head, and his bothersome gaze came down from above.
“Yeah. Let’s just call it a mistake. Back then, I just acted that way without thinking because of you.”
There was no expectation in her eyes as she stared blankly at him. It had always been like this, but seeing the quiet Yiseo in a situation where she should be angry made Taejo feel like his insides were burning up for no reason.
Yiseo was the type of person who could just delete bad memories and ignore people she didn’t want to see. She would be just fine if they split up and became strangers who would never know each other.
Why?
He didn’t know why a hot feeling welled up in his throat when he looked at her face. He couldn’t understand why this annoying feeling wouldn’t settle down, or why Yoon Yiseo was so calm. He should just leave this place instead of dealing with her face-to-face and getting upset, but for some reason, he couldn’t move.
Taejo’s gaze, which had been silently staring at her face, like a white canvas from which everything had been emptied, instantly sharpened. He tried to read something from Yiseo’s consistently indifferent attitude, taking in every single one of her reactions.
Her pale face, her eyes sunk like a well, her lips tightly sealed, never telling him anything.
Yiseo was the same as usual. The only thing that was different from usual was his insides burning in response to her. But why was his heart so anxious? Was it because he had seen her with Ryu Jin-han? Was that really all?
His eyes, which were so hot they felt like they would burst, moved sharply to find a clue on the woman’s face. He stared directly into Yiseo’s eyes for a long time.
She was a woman whose insides could be read like a transparent window. No matter how hard she tried to hide it behind a firm mask, Yoon Yiseo’s eyes could not lie. Taejo’s eyes darkened as he realized that fact.
Yiseo turned her head away as if she was tired of his chilling gaze. He then tilted his head to meet her gaze again. He was so angry at her avoiding his eyes that he grabbed her chin and forced her to look directly at him.
Their gazes locked, and Yiseo’s unwavering gaze penetrated his. Taejo’s eyes faintly wavered with a sense of betrayal at her stubbornness, which had no emotion mixed in it. It was anger that came with pain, as if his heart was being torn into many pieces.
“Yoon Yiseo.”
His eyes, a mix of annoyance and confusion, darted around her face. He could have just left her and walked away. That simple task was not easy. Unlike his breathing, which was slowly building up, Yiseo, who was holding still with her chin in his hand, was calm. Unlike him, who was confused and swaying, she was like a massive tree that would not flinch at a typhoon, waiting for what would happen next.
Did I fall for you in the meantime?
That’s not possible.
That’s not possible.
This was just a human’s righteous anger at being ignored. It was because his pride had been hurt. But the anger was unbearable. It wasn’t possible that I liked you, I couldn’t possibly like someone like you. It felt as if his blood vessels were drying up and his whole body was being tightly squeezed.
“Did you, by any chance,”
Taejo slowly started to speak. In the chilling silence, his fiery feelings gradually subsided as he took a few breaths.
Yiseo just silently watched Taejo’s emotional eyes, where the fire that had been raging suddenly died down like a candle. A bad feeling suddenly came over her as his gaze became steady, but she hoped it was just a false alarm.
“Did you move on already? To my cousin?”
“What...?”
Yiseo’s lips parted as she stared at him blankly. “Ha,” a low scoff escaped her, and his eyes, which had just regained their composure, uncontrollably wavered. A fine line appeared on Taejo’s forehead.
So that was it. His eyes, which were coming to a conclusion, turned cold.
“I knew you were laughing a lot without any pride.”
As if he had expected it, he let go of Yiseo’s chin in a displeased manner. His savage voice became sharp, and a flame flared up again in his eyes, which had turned away from her.
So that was why she had been treating him like an idiot.
A pillar of anger pierced his insides. A dark, hot something slowly writhed in his annoyed eyes.
She hadn’t been that serious about him for his words about ending things to hurt her. It was the woman in front of him who had agreed when he had just blurted out the words. Yet, after not contacting him for a long time, she was here smiling next to his cousin Jin-han.
What had their own ending been like? The smile she had never once shown to him, who had held her body, mixed their breaths, and shared every corner of herself that she didn’t show to others, was so easily given to someone else. He felt betrayed. The fact that Ryu Jin-han was by Yoon Yiseo’s side made his chest burn so hot that his fists clenched.
He was the one who had taken Yoon Yiseo’s first time.
But why did she flow so freely at every opportunity? She was the easiest woman to slip away from. Like grains of sand scattering between his fingers, Yoon Yiseo was like a grain of sand that could not be held no matter how tightly he squeezed. Like a sandcastle that would eventually collapse no matter how much he built it up, she would collapse and fall apart no matter how much he tried to build her up.
But why did he still want to grab at least a handful of her?
This was...
Taejo stared intently at her sunken brown eyes. She had been so careful to even just look at him, but she had spent a long time with Jin-han in front of everyone. The more he thought about it, the more his insides twisted.
“What could I possibly say to you?”
As if she was flabbergasted, Yiseo laughed weakly and shook her head.
It was always like this. She would treat him like an idiot, as if the person in front of her didn’t exist.
“Let’s stop. I have a headache.”
“Stop what?”
Taejo held onto her arm as she tried to leave the place he couldn’t leave. Her small body swayed, trembling with a single gesture of his hand. Their eyes met again.
“It hasn’t even started yet, so what are you stopping?”
His low voice was faintly boiling. Yiseo frowned, as if she didn’t understand why he was so emotional today.
“I’ll be going now. I’ve been away for too long.”
“So you moved on to my cousin? Isn’t that what this is?”
“Is that what you want to hear?”
“What?”
A fire flared up in his eyes, which were stubbornly holding onto Yiseo like a petulant child.
“He’s a good person. Your cousin.”
His frozen heart shattered.
The unpleasant feeling that was surging to the point of making his head spin was anger.
Yes, anger.
The reason he wanted to hold onto at least a handful of her was because of anger.
He devoured her lips, as if he was biting them off. But it was different from before, when she had embraced him and melted her lips into his so lovingly. She just silently accepted his rough, pulling kisses as if she was being punished.
“Open your mouth.”
“...”
“Open it.”
Only then did her soft lips part slightly, as if she were exhausted. He sucked on Yiseo’s lower lip. Her lips, which were still sweet and soft, were roughly sucked into his mouth.
Taejo scoffed at the fact that her lips were sweet enough to quell his anger even in this situation. And also at Yiseo’s heartlessness, who silently accepted him as he pushed his tongue in and roamed around her warm mouth as he pleased without any reaction.
He had even thought about treating her a little better when they met again. He couldn’t help his habit of blurting things out without thinking, but he had thought about having a more normal relationship in a more normal place.
He had thought about going to the beach under the pretense of taking a drive, like any other couple, or staring at the same sky in a small, empty cafe. Since she liked art, he had even considered inviting her to a museum with a lot of artwork under the pretense of appreciating the art.
He had guessed that she must have been very angry when she hadn’t contacted him after he had waited for her. So he had considered whether he should try to cheer her up when they met again, and he eventually thought of the villa in Gangneung, where no one would see them.
It was their villa, which was only used by the Haesin family during the vacation season. It was the perfect place where no one’s eyes would reach them, just as Yiseo had said she wanted a place that was not her own or Taejo’s.
He had planned to eat a full meal there, watch a movie, and share their daily lives. Since he knew nothing about Yoon Yiseo other than the reports he had received, he had wanted to hear about her life in her own words.
He wanted to get to know her. It wasn’t just because he wanted to win after she had said he should prove that he was a genuinely good person. He just felt like he wanted to get to know Yoon Yiseo a little more now.
But everything went wrong because of her utterly indifferent attitude. The thoughts he had organized became a mess after his emotions were thrown into disarray.
Even as he kissed her and went in between her lips, she was doing what he wanted, but at the same time, she looked like she was about to completely break away. So he pushed her even harder, biting at her lips and intertwining his tongue with hers. Even as their kiss became more intense and her breathing became shallow, Yiseo did not meet him halfway.
She was like a person whose heart was closed off. Even though he knew she was a woman who had never opened her heart, the Yoon Yiseo of today was as solid as a closed door. The fact that there was a clear line that he could never cross made him lose his reason.
“...”
“...”
When he pulled his lips away, Yiseo only gasped for air. Her ravaged face was a sight to behold. Her flushed cheeks were red, and her lips, which he had sucked as if he were going to tear them off, were swollen red. He wiped his glistening lips with his finger and let out a rough breath.
“Is that enough?”
His resolve wavered again at her voice, which asked if he was done with what he wanted. The heat on his fingertips was still hot, but the look in her eyes was the opposite.
Why, for goodness sake?
Was she really thinking of giving it a try with Ryu Jin-han? At the thought, his eyes twisted.
“No way. It wouldn’t be right to end it like this.”
He stared at Yiseo with heated eyes and pushed her small body against the wall. Trapped between the solid wall and Taejo’s even more solid body, Yiseo had nowhere to escape. As he caged her completely and lowered his head, Yiseo let out a shallow sigh of resignation, as if she had sensed what was coming.
He looked down at her chest as it rose and fell, then grabbed her breast. The soft silk dress was mercilessly crumpled in his hand. Yiseo frowned at the pain pressing on her chest. But that was all.
She didn’t say anything like “don’t” or “stop.” He would understand if she had cursed or slapped him, but he couldn’t understand why she was acting like this. It was confusing to him now. Those things that had been so normal to him now.
There were hundreds, thousands of things he wanted to say, and the disorganized emotions, in even more branches, were now tightly entwining his body. He didn’t know what to say first, and those emotions that he couldn’t organize clawed at his insides like thorns.
Yiseo, who was still silent, was silently accepting him. An ominous feeling coiled inside him. His heart beat wildly, and the tips of his fingers turned cold as if all the blood had drained from his body. Seeing her calm face even after he had bitten her lips, he couldn’t stand the rising anger.
He pressed her small body, which was leaning against the wall, with his large one, hastily pushed up her skirt and pulled down her underwear, then, without any foreplay, he pushed himself in, tearing through her flesh. Yiseo’s cheek, which had offered no resistance, only twitched in pain.
“...”
Instead of making a sound, Yiseo swallowed a sigh-like breath. He continued to push his body in without a care, and his lower body came into close contact with her pale white legs, which were revealed below the rolled-up skirt.
“What did I do wrong? What did I do to you to make you do things as you please, and then stop as you please? You want to end it? I didn’t do anything with you to deserve to hear that.”
“...”
Yiseo barely held on to her swaying body, her eyes closed. Her sensitive, moist flesh quickly enveloped him. It was a familiar feeling. It was the most intense and ecstatic sensation he knew.
“A good person? What do you know about that bastard?”
The cock, which had entered through the narrow gap, indiscriminately prodded and pushed her insides. Yiseo’s heated insides chewed and swallowed him. The more he angrily prodded her, the more an electrifying sensation ran down his spine. It felt so good that he hated it.
“You’re doing this with me and then you’re going to hook up with my cousin, too? Damn it.”
He continued to push, as if venting his anger. As the image of Ryu Jin-han and her standing side-by-side and smiling fondly flashed through his mind, his emotions were a jumbled mess, as if the floodgates had been opened.
“That’s not going to happen.”
He would never allow that. Once she was in his hands, he had no intention of giving her to anyone else. Just as everything he had ever held in his hands, this rule also applied to Yiseo. A fierce gaze entangled Yiseo.
“Don’t get any ideas.”
“...”
“Don’t even think about running away.”
Just then, Yiseo reached out and grabbed Taejo’s face. When the warmth of her small hand unexpectedly touched his cheek, he froze. His fiery eyes seemed to have trembled for a moment. Yiseo could hear his heart pounding loudly.
“Taejo.”
His gaze trembled again at her gentle call. His wide chest heaved roughly, as if suppressing a breath.
“I won’t do anything with you.”
Yiseo whispered gently, as if making an unchanging promise. A choked breath was buried at the end of her calm voice, but her face was serene, as if she had accepted everything. The fire in her eyes had completely gone out.
“Just finish quickly.”
His lips, which had been grinding his teeth together, trembled slightly at her dry voice, as if that was all she had to say.
Again, it was anger. So this was a relationship that was only about this.
He had a delusion that his strong eyes, which seemed as if they would never be scratched, broke cleanly in two. He then pushed in, tearing at her insides, and thrust into her all at once.
His out-of-control movements were only rough. He thrust in painfully and painfully came into contact with her, swaying their bodies. It will end before I break.
Yiseo thought as they buried themselves in each other’s flesh and their body heat mixed together.
The more she was held and swayed by him with an indifferent expression, the more anxious he became. He frantically thrust his hips and lowered his head, pressing his lips against hers in a hurry. The kisses that painfully scraped her palate and stabbed at her throat were so desperate. Nevertheless, he did not stop, and Yiseo did not tell him to stop.
The rhythmic, wet, and intermittent thrusts of their bodies were broken. As his movements became more and more violent, a shallow breath escaped Yiseo’s lips. But no one paid any attention.
It felt as if only the two of them were left in the world. It felt as if they were trapped in a strange world where no one came or went, and no one intruded. All that was left between them was warmth and heat. Their ragged breaths mingled and were crushed in the air. Between their bodies, which were blurred and intertwined as they swayed, this moment was all they could have with each other.
In that moment, she finally reached her climax. After finishing deep inside Yiseo, he pulled his body out before he could even savor the afterglow. His hands, as he zipped up and straightened his clothes, were spotlessly clean. He took out the handkerchief from his chest pocket, wiped between Yiseo’s legs, and then carelessly threw the fluid-soaked cloth into the trash can.
“I’ll take you home. Wait at the entrance.”
His eyes, which were still feverishly heated as he took Yiseo with him, holding her by the wrist, were still ablaze.
________________________________________
My wrist ached. Yiseo stood under the clear sky and quietly looked down at her wrist. There was a red handprint on the wrist that Taejo had held and refused to let go of. Whenever she showed any sign of trying to escape, the grip on her wrist tightened. She was about to be dragged out like that, but Yiseo finally got free at the entrance to the detached building.
“You can go now.”
Only then did Taejo, who had been holding her hand, let Yiseo go.
Yiseo toyed with her wrist and let out a quiet breath. Behind her, she could hear people coming and going, the occasional smell of cigarette smoke, and the usual noise of a nice day floating in the air. As she was quietly waiting for him in that atmosphere, a black sedan stopped in front of her, and Taejo got out of the car.
The moment he approached and opened the passenger side door for her, she heard a murmur of voices from behind.
“Ryu Taejo, you going on a date?”
She turned her head at the same time and saw a group of men smoking cigarettes and looking over at them. They were familiar faces. It was Seo Jun-won and a group of guys who had been hanging out with Taejo since they were young, and she had seen them many times at social gatherings.
“This guy, I thought it was a bet, but he was serious.”
“I knew it. Our Seong-hyeon is going to be heartbroken again.”
Taejo’s expression sharpened at the jokes that were scattered around like mockery.
A look of bewilderment seemed to have flashed across his eyes as he quickly checked Yiseo’s expression. He stared intently at his snickering friends with a hardened face, and then, without a word, he pushed Yiseo into the car. His actions, as he quickly returned to the driver’s seat after closing the door, were clear.
Leaving the jeers of the men behind, the car quickly left the bustling hotel and entered a quiet road. Until then, neither of them had said a word. Yiseo stared blankly out the window as usual, and Taejo, who was holding the steering wheel, swallowed his silence. But sometimes, he would glance over at Yiseo.
The gaze on her cheek was quite frequent. But it didn’t bother her, so Yiseo pretended not to notice and kept her eyes on the window.
In the silence of the car, only the sound of their breathing was a low hum. Is this what a couple fighting looks like? Yiseo thought as she glanced at his cold face, which was focused on driving.
One person is overly emotional, and the other is overly indifferent. A fight in a relationship like that never ends. Because they can never truly understand each other. She lowered her gaze again, thinking that this relationship would never reach a breaking point.
The passionate moment in the banquet hall a little while ago seemed to have evaporated. It was as if both of them were ignoring the fact that anything had happened.
But Taejo’s breath, which he occasionally let out like a sigh, was a little rougher than usual. When the car slowed down or stopped at a red light, he would turn his head completely to look at Yiseo. How many times did that gaze, which felt like it would burn her cheek, continue?
“You’re not even angry?”
As they neared her neighborhood, he spoke, as if he was fed up. Yiseo, who was sitting with her lips stubbornly sealed, calmly raised her eyes and asked back.
“About what?”
“A little while ago, weren’t you upset?”
Even he was annoyed by it, as his forehead, which was recalling the moment his friends were snickering at the hotel entrance, was faintly furrowed. Of course, he was the one who had suggested the bet to Kim Seong-hyeon. Nevertheless, he was suddenly angry at the thoughtless sight of them giggling so openly.
The bet, which was a nasty prank to break her pride at their third meeting. In the end, Taejo was the one who won the bet, but he didn’t feel good about it right now.
Yoon Yiseo was a quick-witted woman, so she would have already figured out what had been said just by the atmosphere. Yet, she didn’t ask anything and didn’t say anything. It was Taejo who was thirsty for a reaction.
The few seconds he waited for her answer felt like an eternity. He felt awkward, wondering if it was a situation that should make him so anxious that his hands holding the steering wheel were getting sweaty.
“I never thought you were being serious anyway.”
But an unexpected answer came out.
“What sincerity can I expect from a guy who wants to sleep with me the moment he sees me?”
The tip of her lips, which had no expectations, rose slightly like her answer, then became still. At her candid sincerity that everything was meaningless, Taejo swallowed a low breath.
If she had just gotten angry or snapped at him, he would have felt relieved. He might have felt better if she had shown her thorns and said, “How could you do such a thing?” Her calmness, as if none of it mattered, made his throat burn. As if none of it really mattered. He couldn’t do anything about it, but the situation, in which he couldn’t even make an excuse, was even more annoying.
The feeling was indescribably strange. His mind was full of things he needed to say, but he couldn’t say anything out loud. He was confused. He didn’t know why he was feeling this way, or why his chest was getting hot and then chilling so suddenly.
Yiseo, who was toying with her clutch, didn’t look any different from usual on the outside. But the fact that she was rubbing the same spot seemed to indicate that she was thinking deeply. Yet, her expression was always composed, and her attitude toward him was always the same. He didn’t know what was bothering him so much.
“Go.”
“What?”
“Start driving. It’s a green light.”
At Yiseo’s voice, he finally realized that the traffic light had changed. He stepped on the pedal, and the car, which had picked up speed, began to cross the road like a bullet. Even as he was speeding precariously between cars, he wasn’t having any fun. Normally, a feeling of speed like this would have improved his mood to some extent. He had a variety of cars that he could choose to ride depending on his mood and the day of the week. But that action, which had occasionally given him a sense of freedom, was of no use now.
He just panted, as if he was struggling, forgetting to grind his teeth together several times. He finally couldn’t stand the painful silence and opened his mouth again, without knowing what he was enduring.
“It was a bet.”
“...”
“I went a little too far back then. I had been drinking, so I was emotional.”
He felt like he would be bothered by it if he didn’t explain. Of course, it was his fault for impulsively starting the bet, but he had no intention of openly humiliating Yiseo.
“Yeah.”
A vein popped out on Taejo’s forehead at Yiseo’s perfunctory response. This was not the reaction he had wanted; it was overly simple.
He frowned and turned his head. Even though he was staring at her with an obvious sharp gaze, Yiseo didn’t give him a single look. She didn’t seem to care either way. She didn’t seem to care about their circumstances at all.
“I made a bet about you, Yoon Yiseo.”
“I know.”
She had already heard it from Yiheon. He will just play with her for a while and then get bored. So this, too, will soon fade. She had already thought about it, and the agony was already over.
Her voice, as she answered, was calm and even serene, as if it was a good thing for her that it had been revealed today.
“You know?”
“Yeah.”
“And you’re not angry?”
“What good would it do to get angry? It would just make me feel bad.”
Her tone was normal, but it sounded different to Taejo.
It was as if she was saying that nothing he did could hurt her anymore, and that there would be no trust in this relationship. Her clean expression showed no signs of displeasure or any kind of emotion. It had only been a short while ago that she was getting angry and treating him like a person she shouldn’t even be associated with, but Yiseo wasn’t reacting.
His head felt like it was throbbing. It was because his mind was completely focused on Yiseo.
“Don’t overthink it.”
Yiseo muttered as she neatly swept her hair behind her ear.
“What are we, anyway?”
We’re nothing. It was a simple fact, but it felt like a stake had been driven into his heart. The sudden pressure on his throat was unbearable. He unbuttoned his shirt and ripped at his tie as if he was tearing it off. The front of his shirt came undone, and the cold air touched his skin, but the heat did not subside.
“I won’t do anything with you.”
Just like a little while ago, when she had held his cheek and whispered to him so gently. A single monotone voice made him feel flushed again. Because his pride was hurt. Or even if it wasn’t, it felt as if she was nailing the fact that she would never be anything to him, and his neck burned.
The anger about using Yiseo as a plaything. The disappointment in himself for doing such a thing. He hated the unexpected calmness that Yoon Yiseo was showing in a situation where she should have been showing contempt, and he hated the coldness that that calmness brought with it.
The thought of her getting angry would have been better, and being hated would have been better, flashed through his mind. If she had shown any emotion, he probably wouldn’t have been so upset.
Yoon Yiseo would never be hurt. She would never get angry or show contempt. She would not be disappointed. It was because she had no expectations.
When he reached that simple conclusion, a sense of powerlessness swept through his body. With a faint frown on his face, he forced himself to focus on driving.
“Thanks to you, I had a good time, too.”
It was Yiseo’s voice that disturbed his barely suppressed emotions. It was a monotone voice. But it still disturbed him.
Is this what it feels like to be hit in the back of the head while you’re off-guard? Taejo looked back at Yiseo with a twisted expression. Her composed face was still flawless. As if she was the embodiment of calmness, Taejo’s eyes wavered at her solid, unwavering gaze.
“Don’t talk like that.”
Yiseo just smiled slightly at his sharply-worded retort.
“You think that’s funny?”
He growled, clearly angry.
“Thank you for driving me home.”
Yiseo got out of the car, being polite to the very end. It was the appropriate kind of kindness she had shown him when they had met at the art center.
Yiseo, with her neat face, got out of the car and went into her house without looking back. The gate of her main house in Pyeongchang-dong, which was built as high as a fortress, closed.
For a long time after that, he couldn’t move. The scene he wanted to see would never be captured at the end of his gaze, which was staring blankly at the firmly closed door.
It had been a day where nothing went his way.
________________________________________
The heavy doors closed, and as she passed through the entrance and climbed the stone steps, a familiar garden came into Yiseo’s sight. Yiseo, who had climbed the stairs a little too quickly, suddenly stopped in her tracks.
“Hah.”
The breath she had been holding back finally escaped. Only after letting out a long sigh did Yiseo press her chest, which had been aching all along, with her palm.
How much had her chest been throbbing? Her heart had been beating so wildly that it felt like it would jump out of her mouth. She couldn’t move a single step due to the tremendous palpitations that were shaking her entire body.
She repeatedly took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to calm herself down, but the more she did, the more the chaotic day got mixed up in her head. But in the end, only one thing remained in her mind: the memory of Taejo.
The bet. She had hoped that it would never be revealed, but his eyes had been momentarily bewildered when the bet was finally exposed, and then, he had gotten angry as if he were the victim. He had made a rambling excuse, a kind of excuse he had probably never made in his life, and then, in the end, he had gotten angry again over something.
She couldn’t imagine what kind of expression he had on his face, left alone in the car. Her mind was already overflowing with Ryu Taejo, leaving no room to take in anything else.
Yiseo raised her head and looked up at the sky.
The sky, which was still blue and clear, was beautifully spread out before her.
Under that sky, what did we share?
Only after her tension had eased did her ravaged body begin to ache. The sensation that remained in her body was so honest, making a mockery of the past days when she had given meaning to a meaningless thing and had waited, chewing on it over and over again.
She had thought about the empty end they had, and had she held onto a tiny bit of hope that the moment they met again would be different from this time?
It was funny, but that didn’t happen.
Still, it was a beautiful day. Therefore, it was only right to move on from this beautiful day. A momentary deviation. She would stop here with the foolish choice she had made, swept away by a sweet impulse, Yiseo thought as she looked at the cold blue sky.
This unpleasant feeling was not love.
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