NILWM - 55

When she came to her senses, it was already past 8 p.m. Even though she hadn’t had a single sip of water and had been starving all day, she felt nothing in her stomach. She wanted to go home and rest, but at the same time, she didn’t want to.

There’s no place for me in that house...

• You, if you’re going to be like that, get out! If it wasn’t for you, Jeongwoo and I would have no problems, but you’re always the problem!

Her mother’s words were right. There was never a problem between her and Min Jeongwoo. What kind of problems could there be in a relationship where one side unconditionally embraced the other and willingly sacrificed for them?

If she were just gone from that house, her mother and twin brother would probably be happy forever. She was an ungrateful wretch who was awkwardly wedged between a perfect mother and son, like a nail sticking out from the corner of a perfectly fitted piece of furniture.

She felt like she had finally reached her limit. Should she really go ahead and move out, as Han Juhyeok had suggested? Would she be a little happier then?

If she let go of all hope and expectation that her family would one day accept and love her for who she was, and went her own way alone, as if she had been an orphan from the beginning.

Yeseo suppressed her heavy heart and thought about where she should go tonight. As she was contemplating whether to go stay at Chaerin’s house again or go to a jimjilbang, a text message notification rang.

Maybe it’s Sunbae? She quickly checked her phone.

[Noona, how have you been? Mom told me to send you a text because you haven’t been in touch much lately. It’s 6 a.m. here, and I’ve started a 새벽 part-time job recently. Everything okay?]

It was Gyeonghyeon, her cousin from her aunt’s side who lived in LA. Her heart was touched with joy. The warmth welled up in her eyes again.

[Yeah. Everything’s fine. Thanks for checking in. Say hi to Aunt and Uncle for me and tell them I’ll call them this weekend.]

After exchanging a few text messages, Yeseo got up from the cafe. As she was heading to a nearby 24-hour women-only jimjilbang, she got a phone call. Yeseo’s eyes widened as she looked at the screen without thinking.

Her eyes, which she rubbed with the back of her hand several times to make sure she wasn’t seeing things, started to sting again.

________________________________________

The Incheon International Airport was bustling with people, even late at night. As he headed to the first-class lounge with Park Seongjun, he remembered his phone, which had completely run out of battery and turned off.

“Ah, I’m sleepy. I’m just going to sleep as soon as we get on. But Yeseo’s not coming to see you off today? The semester’s over, isn’t it?”

“I can’t tell her to come all the way here. She’s busy even after the semester ends.”

Juhyeok connected a power bank to his phone and accessed his messages on his laptop. Park Seongjun handed him a drink as he was logging in.

“Hey, even so, if you don’t see her even for a little while today, you won’t be able to see her for at least three weeks. You said you’re using up all your vacation time to go to the U.S. this time, and you’ll be busy on weekends for a while.”

“...”

“No matter how much I think about it, I can’t understand you, you bastard. You like her so much, so why are you being so cautious and holding back?”

“A simple bastard like you wouldn’t understand even if you died and came back to life. Don’t even try to understand.”

He scoffed sarcastically and skimmed through the hundreds of messages that had come in. As his eyes quickly read the parts he needed for work, his lips moved on their own.

“You wouldn’t know what it’s like to keep your distance from someone because they’re so precious you’re afraid of losing them.”

“Huh? What did you say?”

Juhyeok stopped the hand that was moving the cursor without answering. His gaze was fixed on a certain message.

[Sunbae. I know you’re probably in the U.S. right now, but I’m so sorry to send you this text. My laptop was hacked by ransomware this morning, and all my important files were encrypted. I’ve been to recovery companies all day and asked my computer science seniors for help, but there’s nothing they can do. I was just wondering... I have some really important documents, so I wanted to ask you for your advice as a last resort.]

“Seongjun, give me your phone.”

“Huh? Wait.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s charged to 5%.”

Juhyeok connected his phone to the power bank and immediately called Min Yeseo. A voice he was familiar with came through after a moment.

• Sunbae? Are you in the U.S. right now?

“Where are you?”

• Me? I was at a cafe in front of school, and now I’m about to go to a jimjilbang...

“Why a jimjilbang?”

The answer came back a long time later. The faint sound of her breathing made his heart feel as if it was crumbling. He could vividly imagine her face, clenching her lips and biting down on them so she wouldn’t cry or let her emotions out. Anger surged, but a strange pleasure filled his chest, making it feel heavy.

• Jeongwoo did that to my laptop, and Mom...

Without knowing about his twisted contradictions and ambivalent feelings, Yeseo continued, her voice choked with sobs.

• I don’t want to go home. If I’m gone, there’s no problem... I don’t want to go back...

Her cracked voice and trembling breath were different from her calm text message. Min Yeseo tried to catch her breath and changed the subject again.

• The hacker told me to go to a certain site and pay 5 million won in Bitcoin... I was going to reply to the email asking them to wait for a bit, but I just left it alone. I thought it would be best not to show any reaction until I talked to you first.

“You did well. There are a lot of malicious people who won’t give you your files back even if you pay them, so you shouldn’t respond recklessly. What about your laptop? Do you have it with you right now?”

• Yes.

“Then don’t go to the jimjilbang and go to my officetel. Take a taxi straight there.”

• Huh? But Sunbae, you’re in the U.S.... Oh, you’re at the airport. Right?

Just then, an announcement urging passengers to board came over the loudspeaker. Juhyeok tucked his phone between his shoulder and chin, packed his bag, and added,

“Yeah. I have a white hat hacker on my team, so I’ll call them to the officetel right away and ask them to take a look. Go there and wait for them first. It’ll take at least an hour.”

• Oh... Okay, Sunbae.

“I’ll hang up now.”

As soon as Juhyeok hung up, he picked up his carry-on bag and got up from his seat. And before Seongjun could say anything, he made an announcement.

“I don’t think I can go to the U.S. I’m sorry. Can you take care of my checked luggage for me? Here.”

“What? Did something happen to Yeseo? She got hacked?”

Seongjun took the checked luggage tag and stood up in surprise.

“Hey! You just said you were going to send a staff member to the officetel, so why are you going!”

“I just remembered some urgent company work. There’s only clothes and shoes in there anyway, so you can throw them away. Go through it and take whatever you like.”

“Really? Hey, then I’ll wear your suit for the wedding. It’s Brioni, after all.”

“It won’t fit you. Do whatever you want.”

“I’m just kidding, but you’ll come later, right? The elders will be going crazy, but there are still two days left, so hurry up and fix it and come back! Huh?”

Seongjun kept shouting something at him from behind, but he had already left the lounge. Since things had come to this, he had no intention of going to the U.S. later. He would inform the base of the detailed situation later and let them handle the discipline. The moment he read the text message, he told himself that he shouldn’t go to Min Yeseo, but it was a useless effort.

Don’t get swayed by your emotions. I always emphasized to Yeseo that our relationship wouldn’t be the top priority.

He clenched his teeth, telling himself to think rationally, but in the end, his emotions had won over his reason. At the critical moment, the reality of always becoming the subservient one was pathetic, but there was no other way.

________________________________________

The empty duplex officetel was silent. Yeseo sat on the sofa on the first floor and quietly waited for Han Juhyeok’s staff member.

Just in case, she checked her phone every five minutes, but there were no new messages. It was a relief that the sisters she tutored had also left on a family trip for vacation yesterday. She couldn’t focus on anything except for the 500,000-character manuscript that had vanished in an instant.

It was a godsend that she had managed to get in touch with Sunbae right before he left for the U.S. And she was so grateful. She couldn’t help but be thankful that he had contacted her from the airport and was even sending a staff member.

As soon as she heard his voice, tears gushed out. It felt like a lie that she had been thinking about her relationship with him with skepticism, even wondering if breaking up with Sunbae might be the best option just yesterday.

But the uneasy feeling remained. Her doubts and anxieties about their relationship and future were still there. But she would have to talk to him about that after he returned from the U.S. and they could see each other face to face.

Exactly one hour and ten minutes later, she heard the sound of someone pressing the keypad on the front door. The white hat hacker must have arrived.

Yeseo got up from her seat and headed for the front door. And the moment the door opened, she couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Have you been waiting long?”

“Sunbae...?”

Han Juhyeok walked inside as if nothing was wrong. He looked a little thinner, and his jawline was sharper. But the look in his eyes as he looked at her was nothing but warm. It was as if he had gone back to being the person he was before his enlistment.

“Wha, what happened? What about the white hat hacker staff member?”

“That’s me, the white hat hacker.”

He said nonchalantly and placed what looked like a carry-on bag in front of the door.

“That’s what I started with, back in high school. Anyway, let’s take a look at the laptop first.”

“You, you didn’t... You didn’t get on the plane, did you? You didn’t go to the U.S.?”

“No.”

“You said you absolutely had to attend your relative’s wedding. You said the elders urged you to come and that there were other important family events, too...”

“It’s okay.”

He was in front of her in the blink of an eye.

“You’re much more important.”

The hand that pulled her in was also as gentle as before. The familiar scent of a forest wafted over her. The next moment, Yeseo was deep in his embrace. Han Juhyeok held her tightly and added,

“You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you?”

At the low voice that resonated from the top of her head, Yeseo couldn’t hold it in any longer. She sobbed bitterly in Han Juhyeok’s arms, like a child, for a long time. An indescribable sense of relief and emotion came crashing in like a wave, and she couldn’t handle it.

I really like Sunbae... No, I love him.

She still couldn’t give him up. The one and only person whom she loved so much, yet also hated, whom she felt was heartless and cruel, yet couldn’t let go of in the end.

He came here for me after all.

At this moment, when things were so hard and hopeless she felt like she could die. He willingly came to her in a reality where no one was on her side and no one valued her. Even though he had always made it clear that their relationship couldn’t be his top priority, he had ultimately prioritized her over everything else and rushed to her from the airport.

“Sunbae... thank you.”

Her expression of gratitude was once again buried in her tears. Han Juhyeok once again became her everything. In a world where everything was uncertain and imperfect, her feelings for him were more solid than anything else.

In the sensation of their lips and warmth melting into one and their tongues intertwining, that conviction grew even stronger.