NILWM - 44

“But what can I do? He’s my child. Even if it’s just me, his mother, I have to support him until the end so he can live a decent life. Don’t you think? I know you’re struggling with the pressure of scholarships and earning your own allowance. I appreciate you helping out at the pharmacy and giving up so much for Jungwoo. But since you’re in a much better position than Jungwoo, I hope you can endure it a little, even if it feels unfair and like a sacrifice.”

“Yes. I understand, Mom. I understand what you’re saying. But I hope you don’t expect anything more from me after I graduate. Once I graduate and start earning money seriously... I’ll do my best to help with living expenses and everything so you don’t have to struggle alone.”

Yeseo pursed her lips before getting to the point.

“But as I said before, when it comes to Jungwoo, anything beyond that... is too much.”

A moment of silence hung in the air. Her mother seemed unable to fully agree with her not-so-subtle declaration. Yeseo silently lowered her gaze, looking at the area around the pharmacist’s neck.

What does Mom really want?

She was confused. Did she want her, her daughter, to feel the same way about the son she loved? Sadly, she couldn’t fulfill that wish.

“Let’s talk about the distant future when we get there. Why are you talking as if I’m going to hold you back already? Don’t draw such a cruel line like that; you and Jungwoo are the only family you’ll have if I’m not around. Okay?”

Before Yeseo could reply, her mother pulled an envelope from under the table and slid it toward her.

“Here’s some allowance. I put all the interest I got from a matured savings account in there.”

“...”

“What are you doing? An adult is giving you something; why aren’t you opening it?”

Yeseo, who had been staring blankly at the envelope, picked it up and opened it. It was packed with 50,000 won bills. It looked like at least a million won.

“Oh... Mom.”

“It was a five-year account, but I opened it a long time ago, so the interest rate was a little high. You must be tired from your part-time job during the break, so I want you to have a little extra money during the winter. I can’t cook for you since I’m always stuck at the pharmacy, so eat whatever you want outside.”

“...”

“Why are you looking so dazed? What? Is it not enough?”

“No! ...Thank you, Mom.”

“Good. So don’t be like that, you and Jungwoo are separate, no matter how upset you are. What can you do? They’re both my children. The one who’s doing well has to embrace the one who isn’t. Okay?”

The pharmacist clicked her tongue, let out a long yawn, and got up from the sofa.

“Ah, I’m exhausted. I’m going to wash up and go to bed. You should go to bed early, too.”

“Yes. Thank you, I’ll use it well, Mom.”

A moment later, as she put the envelope of money in a drawer and sat at her desk, she felt strange. Would it be wrong of her to think it felt like a bribe?

Let’s not. It’s a problem to think negatively about everything.

For whatever reason, her mother’s heart was more inclined toward one of her twins. Her mother didn’t even deny it herself.

But that didn’t mean there was no affection for the other. In the end, she was also her mother’s child. Her mother loved her in her own way and sincerely wished for her to do well. While there might be a child who was more of a “sore finger,” there was no parent in the world who wished for their child to turn out badly.

For now, that was her only comfort.

________________________________________

The year had changed, and a week had passed. She didn’t get to meet Han Juhyeok on the promised January 3rd. They barely even exchanged messages. Even though the project was over, he seemed busy finalizing various agreements with the client company.

She, too, had a hectic few days. She visited the home of the student for the tutoring job Han Juhyeok had introduced her to, registered for an English academy with the money her mother had given her, and wrote the novels she had been putting off. She was quite busy.

But even in the midst of it all, she was always alert to her phone. She was on standby, ready to go whenever he contacted her. She even slept with her phone right next to her ear so she wouldn’t miss a call.

And finally, she was going to meet him. Han Juhyeok had contacted her five days later than the promised date, and she hurried to Gangnam Station, where his officetel was, as soon as her morning class at the academy ended. They were going to have a meal there and then go to his studio/office.

The thought of seeing his space for the first time made her heart pound the entire hour she waited in a nearby cafe. It was 20 minutes before 6 p.m., when the staff would leave work. She turned her head when she felt a gaze on her. A guy her age, who looked like a college student, was staring at her.

It wasn’t an unusual occurrence. Yeseo immediately turned her head and moved to a table closer to a far window. As she was looking at her phone, she felt a presence. The guy had come up to her side.

“Excuse me, are you by any chance Min Yeseo?”

“What? Who are you...?”

Before admitting it, she first asked for his identity. Is he a student from my school?

“It is you, Yeseo noona! Wow, you look exactly the same as when you were a kid. Noona, don’t you remember me? I’m Gyeonghyeon!”

“Gyeonghyeon...?”

Yeseo involuntarily stood up. The wariness in her eyes quickly disappeared.

“You don’t mean Nam Gyeonghyeon?”

“That’s me! Wow, it’s been so long. Is it 15 years?”

Gyeonghyeon, who was one year younger than Yeseo, was the only son of her deceased father’s younger sister, Min Ja-yeong. The memories of spending her summer and winter vacations at her grandmother’s house in a small southern town and her aunt’s house felt like yesterday. Just then, a middle-aged woman who looked vaguely familiar entered the cafe and approached them.

“Nam Gyeonghyeon! We’re going to be late, what are you do-”

The neatly dressed woman in her 50s saw Yeseo and exclaimed, “Oh my!” stopping in her tracks in surprise.

“Auntie Ja-yeong...?”

“Oh my goodness, who is this! You’re Yeseo, aren’t you?”

Her aunt couldn’t hide her shock and immediately hugged her tightly. Her uncle then joined in, and one corner of the cafe became a scene of a reunion after 15 years.

Her aunt’s family had left for the U.S. not long after Yeseo’s father passed away, as their pre-arranged immigration approval came through. Since then, they had never been in contact. It wasn’t just because they had moved; her mother had cut off all ties with her in-laws after her father’s funeral.

“Oh my. Jungwoo was studying abroad in Virginia. Your mother is so stubborn. Even though she sent her child to America, she didn’t contact us, no matter how far away we are...”

Her aunt’s house was in L.A., on the exact opposite side of Virginia. The small Japanese restaurant they had started had become very successful, and they had apparently even bought the building and were well-established now.

Even if it had been possible to contact Jungwoo due to the distance, meeting him wouldn’t have been easy. Despite that, her aunt seemed to regret it. The three of them had come to Korea for the first time in years for the funeral of her aunt’s in-laws, and since they were leaving the next day, they had come to the traditional Korean restaurant across the street to have a meal with the rest of her in-laws.

“Gyeonghyeon, you and your father go ahead to the restaurant and check if the elders have arrived and order. Call us when they’re all there.”

“Oh... okay. But first, can I get your number, noona? So we can keep in touch even after I go back to the States. I’ll call you from the airport tomorrow, too.”

After Gyeonghyeon saved her number, he headed to the restaurant with his father. Her aunt’s face became more relaxed once they were left alone. It seemed she had something she wanted to talk about with just her.

“You don’t know that I tried to find you at your house and contact you several times when you were in middle school, do you? After I settled down in America and came to Korea, I missed you and was so curious about you. I guess blood is thicker than water... Your grandmother also used to say you two appeared in her dreams sometimes.”

“Oh... I had no idea.”

“Of course you wouldn’t. You had moved to a different house, and when I went to the pharmacy, your mother went ballistic and threatened to call the police. She told me never to show up again. When I went back a few years later, the building where the pharmacy used to be was being redeveloped, and your mother’s whereabouts were a mystery.”

“...”

“Anyway, it’s a huge relief that all three of you are doing well.”

“Auntie. I have a question.”

Yeseo finally spoke after some hesitation. She had so much to talk about with her aunt, whom she had just met after 15 years, but there wasn’t enough time.

“Why did Mom... decide to cut all ties with Grandma and you?”

Enough time had passed, and she was an adult now, so she felt she could ask. She couldn’t understand it no matter how she thought about it. Even if the relationship between her grandmother and her mother was bad due to mother-in-law-daughter-in-law conflict, her father’s death wasn’t her grandmother’s or her aunt’s fault, was it?

“Your grandmother... yes, she’s my mother, but it was your grandmother who was in the wrong.”

Her aunt let out a heavy sigh and continued.

“Your grandmother was very harsh on your mother. She was dead set against the marriage, and when you two got married anyway, she blamed her for your father’s death... She said the fortune-teller she often visited told her that you two were a bad match and that if you got married, one of you would die early. Well, it was a superstition and a coincidence. Anyway...”

Yeseo listened with a horrified expression as her aunt continued. She said that her grandmother had gone on a rampage, demanding to take Jungwoo and raise him herself, claiming that if she didn’t, the only grandson they had left might also be harmed. Her mother, on the other hand, had blamed her grandmother for her father’s sudden, tragic death on the street.

“Your father went down to Masan to see your grandmother that day and got into that accident. Your mother had told him not to go because it was raining, but your father insisted... He said he was worried because your grandmother was crying on the phone about her bad knees. They were screaming at each other that the other had killed him, and the funeral home was a total mess.”

“...”

“She’s my mother, but her love for her son was really something. Even now that she’s in a nursing home, she doesn’t remember any of us, but she somehow remembers the name Min Do-hun. She keeps asking, ‘Why isn’t our Do-hun here? Where did he go? Did he go to school?’ It’s... sad.”

Do-hun was the name of her deceased father. Her aunt suddenly seemed to well up with emotion and dabbed at her eyes with a napkin.

“It’s easy to say this now, but from your mother’s perspective, it must have been like living with her mother-in-law. She would call her every other day and give her a hard time, and try to create a rift between her and her son. Hah...”

Yeseo lowered her head and remained silent. The memory of the shouting at the funeral home when she was a child remained a trauma. She hadn’t known what was going on at the time because the adults had taken her and Jungwoo to a different room, but she never imagined that was the reason behind it all.