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Shen Yihuan became pregnant about half a year after their marriage.
At first, they used contraception. It wasn’t until Lu Zhou’s military project was completed that they officially started trying for a baby.
But nothing happened for a long time.
Shen Yihuan would use a pregnancy test stick almost every other day, and it was always just one line.
During that time, she was terribly scared and thought she had some kind of infertility problem. She went to several hospitals for checkups, but they all said she was fine.
The doctor advised her, “You’re both so young. A child is a matter of fate. Don’t be so anxious. It will happen.”
So, they let nature take its course.
Eventually, she stopped bothering, and the pregnancy tests in the bathroom were left unused.
It wasn’t until Lu Zhou asked her about her period one day that she realized it had been almost a month and a half since her last one. Her cycle was usually very regular, only delayed by a week at most, never this long.
“Holy shit...” she cursed under her breath, a little stunned, then quickly covered her mouth.
...I just swore.
That’s bad for the baby’s education.
Shen Yihuan immediately stood up to get a pregnancy test, but after taking a few quick steps, she slowed down. She was startled.
“What’s wrong?” Lu Zhou followed her into the bathroom.
Shen Yihuan held the test stick, waiting for the results. When the second line gradually appeared, she was speechless for a while.
Because she was in the early stages of pregnancy, the line was very faint.
She looked up, dazed. “Lu Zhou, you’re going to be a father.”
Lu Zhou would remember those words, the look on Shen Yihuan’s face when she said them, and the strange feeling that spread from his heart when he heard them.
To be honest, before hearing those words, he didn’t have any special feelings for this new life that he and Shen Yihuan had created.
He had said before that he didn’t want children. He didn’t want a child to take away Shen Yihuan’s love, time, and energy.
During the time they were trying to conceive, Shen Yihuan was disappointed countless times when she didn’t get pregnant. He, on the other hand, didn’t feel disappointed.
It was just that if Shen Yihuan wanted a child, then they would have one.
Lu Zhou, you’re going to be a father.
That’s when it became real for him.
This new life would call him Dad and Shen Yihuan Mom. It was a life they had created together, a blood bond between them.
Shen Yihuan would carry him for ten months. He would grow up, learn to walk, learn to talk, cry, and laugh. He might even throw tantrums at them. A lively little life.
Once this imagination began, it couldn’t be stopped.
It was a little magical.
The Commander’s wife was ecstatic when she found out. She was going to have them come over for a meal but changed her mind and bought a ton of stuff to bring to their small home.
“Mom, you’re buying things way too early. You don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl,” Shen Yihuan said.
Shen Yihuan’s relationship with the Commander’s wife was now very good, and she was used to calling her “Mom.”
Shen Yihuan had always been a sweet talker. If she wanted to make someone happy, she could. Calling them “Mom” and “Dad” made it seem like she was their biological child. Eventually, Lu Zhou also changed from calling them “Commander Lu” and “Auntie” to “Dad” and “Mom.”
“It’s not too early!” the Commander’s wife said, opening up the small clothes. “You can never have too many. I just buy what I think looks good.”
“Oh, right. I’m also giving you our chef. Didn’t you say you liked her cooking? She used to be a maternity matron, so she knows about nutritious meals for pregnant women. From now on, she’ll be in charge of your three meals a day.”
They had never hired a chef before.
Shen Yihuan initially wanted to hire one because she couldn’t cook. Seeing Lu Zhou come home from work and then having to cook made her heart ache. But Lu Zhou didn’t want one.
He didn’t want to disrupt their time alone. Besides, he enjoyed cooking for Shen Yihuan.
After hearing what the Commander’s wife said, Shen Yihuan nudged Lu Zhou’s knee with her foot.
He nodded. “Okay.”
“You’re only in your third week now. You’ll probably start having morning sickness by the fifth week.” The Commander’s wife had never had children, but she had been researching and had done all her homework on the way there.
And the Commander’s wife’s homework was very accurate.
By the fifth or sixth week, Shen Yihuan started having morning sickness, and it got worse over time.
Fortunately, she had already transitioned from working in the studio. She was now a specially appointed photographer, and people had to make appointments to hire her. She had a lot of free time.
Those days, Shen Yihuan just stayed at home.
She would be woken up by nausea and would rush to the bathroom. She would also get up in the middle of the night to throw up.
She would throw up everything she ate, and her weight dropped.
It was the first time Shen Yihuan realized she could be this weak.
Lu Zhou’s previous aspirations for their baby were completely overshadowed by Shen Yihuan’s state. Pregnancy was just too painful.
His heart ached, but he couldn’t suffer for her. He could only watch her throw up, feeling anxious and helpless, a terrible feeling.
He read all the books and research he could find, personally cooking different meals for Shen Yihuan, just to get her to eat a little. But even when she ate, she would throw it up a moment later.
He frowned and crouched in front of Shen Yihuan. “Do you want to go to the hospital again?”
Shen Yihuan had just finished throwing up. Her face was pale, and she shook her head. “I went with Mom before. They said it’s normal, but mine is a little more severe than most.”
“Then is there anything you want to eat? I’ll make it for you? Or buy it for you?”
“No more. I’ll just throw it up again. It’s too uncomfortable.”
Lu Zhou wanted to coax her into eating a little more, but her words made his heart ache again. If she didn’t want to eat, she didn’t have to.
Unlike Shen Yihuan’s flexible work schedule, Lu Zhou had to go to the army base every day. Later, he was afraid Shen Yihuan would be bored at home alone, and he heard that pregnant women could easily become sensitive, anxious, or even depressed. So, he started taking her with him to the army base.
His current project was confidential, so Shen Yihuan couldn’t enter the internal areas. He put her in his office instead.
He came back to his office during his lunch break and saw Shen Yihuan crouching next to a machine.
He was instantly worried, thinking she felt unwell. He rushed over. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?”
Shen Yihuan, still crouching, turned her head. Her face had a rare rosy color these past few days. She pointed to the machine in front of her. “Lu Zhou, this smells so good. When I smell it, I don’t feel like throwing up anymore.”
“...”
Lu Zhou looked at her, at a loss for words. “...Gasoline?”
He had read that pregnant women could develop strange cravings. Some even liked the smell of paint or rust.
But he never expected Shen Yihuan to be one of them and to like the smell of gasoline.
The Commander’s wife found out and laughed about it for a long time.
She joked that the baby in Shen Yihuan’s belly must be a Transformer, one that ran on gasoline.
She even thoughtfully prepared a small jar of gasoline for Shen Yihuan so she could smell it whenever she felt nauseous.
Secretly taking a deep breath from a jar of an unknown substance, it felt like she was doing something shameful.
The morning sickness finally ended after a month.
After that, Shen Yihuan’s appetite improved, and she gained some weight back.
By the eighth month, her belly was very large.
Shen Yihuan wanted to take a set of maternity photos to remember it. So, she bought a special maternity photo “belly top” online—delicate and sexy. She was too embarrassed to buy something like that in a store.
She then dragged Lu Zhou along to take the photos.
The belly top was just a piece of fabric with two thin red strings tied around her neck and back.
After taking photos for a short while, Lu Zhou was certain that Shen Yihuan was intentionally tormenting him.
“Stand still. Don’t press on your belly,” Lu Zhou said, his voice hoarse and his jaw tight. He pulled her hand to the side.
It was the first time Lu Zhou had ever pulled her away. Shen Yihuan found it funny. She went to hug his waist, her two fair, exposed arms wrapped around him, clutching his clothes.
“I won’t,” Shen Yihuan said with a foxy smile. “Do I look good?”
“You look beautiful.”
“Do I have a motherly glow?”
Lu Zhou looked her up and down.
In that outfit, he couldn’t find a single trace of a motherly glow.
He still nodded. “Mm, you do.”
As soon as they finished, Lu Zhou let go of her and turned to go to the bathroom.
Shen Yihuan was stunned for a moment, then laughed and fell onto the bed, clutching her stomach.
As the due date got closer, Lu Zhou and the whole Commander’s family were very nervous. Lu Youju felt he had never been so nervous even when he was on the battlefield. Lu Zhou, of course, was even more so. He had already started having insomnia.
Shen Yihuan, on the other hand, ate and drank well.
The baby in her belly was very well-behaved. It came neither early nor late. The contractions started right on the due date.
Lu Zhou had been taking Shen Yihuan for walks during her pregnancy and had also attended many birthing classes. She had a smooth delivery.
The contractions didn’t last long, and she was almost fully dilated in a short time.
Shen Yihuan didn’t agree to let Lu Zhou be with her during the birth.
Lu Zhou could only stand outside the operating room. He was like a statue, not moving at all. Only his eyes were a little red, and his jaw trembled as he clenched his teeth.
He had never felt this way before.
Lu Youju told him to sit for a while, but he didn’t move.
After waiting for more than an hour, the groundless feeling in Lu Zhou’s heart grew stronger. He walked to the window in the hallway.
He desperately wanted to smoke a cigarette but was afraid that Shen Yihuan would dislike the smell of smoke when she came out.
The lighter flickered on and off in his fingers, reflecting a flame in his pupils. After an unknown amount of time, the operating room door finally opened.
A nurse in protective gear said, “Congratulations, the birth went smoothly. It’s a girl. The time of birth is exactly twelve o’clock...”
Lu Zhou didn’t hear the rest of what she said. He just suddenly felt all the strength leave his body, and he couldn’t even take a step.
After an unknown amount of time, he slowly crouched down, wrapped his arms around the back of his head, and buried his face in his arms. He forced a smile.
And then, tears began to flow.
Shen Yihuan was still in the delivery room and hadn’t been wheeled out yet. Lu Zhou was crouched at the end of the hallway.
The man who was once unyielding and as strong as a wall was now curled up, his head buried deep in his arms.
The Commander’s wife walked over and patted his shoulder.
His shoulders began to tremble. Even though he tried to hide it, he couldn’t. Suppressed and unrestrained sobs could be heard.
Lu Zhou took his hand out and covered his face tightly.
He could hear the sound of a baby crying, loud and vibrant.
She didn’t know then that when she let out her first cry into this world, her father, too, was on the other side of a wall.
He buried his head in his hands and cried, trembling and violently.
Lu Youju felt as if he had never seen Lu Zhou cry before.
When he was born, Lu Youju was on a mission. Lu Zhou’s biological mother gave birth alone.
He hadn’t heard that first cry.
As Lu Zhou grew up, he didn’t see him cry much. Lu Zhou never liked to cry as a child, and as an adult, he was even more cold. He rarely even smiled.
Today was the first time.
Perhaps no one could truly understand how much he loved Shen Yihuan.
He thought Shen Yihuan herself didn’t even realize it.
She had given him the most brilliant colors and joy during his barren years, and she had pursued him with a fiery and crazy passion. And he, unable to help himself, had accepted all of her.
This child.
It was another bond forged between him and Shen Yihuan.
A bond he gladly cherished.
________________________________________
When Shen Yihuan was wheeled out, she was covered in sweat. The hollow of her neck could almost hold a scoop of water, and strands of black hair were stuck to her face.
Lu Zhou knelt beside her and hugged her.
His trembling, hot breaths misted onto her palm and fingers as he panted.
Shen Yihuan saw his red-rimmed eyes.
She sighed softly and gently hooked his hand with her index finger.
Her voice was very soft. “How come I didn’t cry from the pain, but you did?”
Soon after they got to the hospital room, the nurse brought the baby over. Lu Youju and the Commander’s wife followed right behind.
The baby’s eyes were still closed, wrapped in a small blanket. It looked so tiny.
Shen Yihuan saw it and smiled. The baby’s fist was not even as big as her thumb. She gently squeezed it.
Lu Zhou sat on the edge of the bed, watching her actions. He didn’t dare to touch the baby himself, afraid he would hurt it. He only dared to touch Shen Yihuan’s hair, which still had a brownish tint.
It was fine and soft, and she was so hot.
It was magical.
Natural birth took too much energy. After the parents had seen the baby, the nurse took her away again.
Shen Yihuan spoke to Lu Zhou with her eyes closed.
What should we name her?
You decide.
I can’t think of anything. You think of one.
Okay.
She fell asleep halfway through the conversation.
Lu Zhou listened quietly to her steady breathing, letting out a long sigh of relief.
________________________________________
What do you want?
Among all beings, there is this one person.
Until death do us part.
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