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During lunchtime, Section Chief Son Yoo-hee went up to the company’s rooftop lounge. As she sipped her coffee, she could faintly hear the male employees chattering. Their voices were excited and emotional about something.
“She was acting so aloof, as if she was a big shot even though she was just a contract worker, so I thought she had some kind of backing. Don’t you agree that Choi Yu-jin is working at an escort service?”
At the name Choi Yu-jin, Section Chief Son took the paper cup away from her lips.
“I subtly prodded a hotel employee who was at the event, and it seems to be true. He even slipped me a contact number for an escort service.”
“Ha, so that’s why Choi Yu-jin quit the company without a word. Well, if you get a taste for that kind of money, why would you go back to a normal job with a regular salary?”
“I knew it. She was quite good-looking, but her vibe was strangely dark. Like she had a sexy, sultry aura. But when she took her clothes off, wow, it made me go crazy.”
“She was totally caught. But did you see the guy Choi Yu-jin was with, Assistant Manager Choi?”
“Yeah… well, his attire and vibe weren’t that of a regular person. Looking at how she was sticking to him, would she be very expensive? How much would it be per hour?”
“If she’s expensive, we can all chip in and call her. Let’s make a reservation right away.”
“I should at least thank Golden Bridge. For some reason, they’ve been so generous with business, giving us hotel accommodation vouchers and casino chips. Thanks to the invitation to their event, we also caught Choi Yu-jin in the act. Haha.”
The sound of their laughter made Section Chief Son crumple the paper cup in her hand. She waited until lunchtime was over and then called a sales team employee to find out the source of the rumor.
‘Haah… I don’t think Yu-jin would be that kind of person.’
Section Chief Son liked Yiseo, who had recently joined as an administrative assistant. Since Section Chief Son was the eldest daughter in a family with many girls, Yiseo felt like a younger sister, and she was concerned about her, as she was always cautious and quiet despite her striking looks. When Yiseo would come to work with a swollen face from time to time, Section Chief Son would ask her about it out of pity, and it seemed her family was indeed struggling financially. She would even get calls at the office from people demanding repayment of her brother’s gambling debt.
Then one day, Yiseo was absent without notice and never came back to the office. All sorts of rumors circulated, but Section Chief Son was just worried. Her hands couldn’t focus on her work as she recalled Yiseo’s pitiable smile and her face, swollen from crying all night.
________________________________________
“I heard you requested a specific person, Yoon Yiseo.”
“Ah, well. I heard she was working here.”
This was a private club room in the basement of the G Hotel.
Tae Mu-jin was sitting casually on a black leather sofa that had been well-worn. He was carving an ice ball with a long awl in his right hand. When the smoothly polished ice formed a perfect sphere, Tae Mu-jin put it in a glass and poured some whiskey. He then handed the glass to the man across from him, who snickered and took it.
“How much for a full night of sex?”
The man put the glass to his lips, downed it in one go, and made a face. His flushed cheeks were shiny, as if he was getting drunk. The man took out his wallet, took out a business card, and tossed it in front of Tae Mu-jin. Tae Mu-jin looked at the business card and stroked his chin. On the crisp, square paper, the name Han Jong-hoon and the name of his law firm were printed in a golden gothic font.
“If Yiseo provides good service, I’ll bring more paying customers, so you better take good care of her.”
“I heard you said you know Yoon Yiseo well when you made the reservation.”
“Should I say I know her or I don’t?”
While Jong-hoon snickered and emptied his glass, Tae Mu-jin began to carve a second ice ball with an indifferent look on his face.
“Yoon Yiseo was my brother’s friend. Yiseo’s got nothing going for her now except her looks, but when she was a kid, she was so hard to even talk to. She had a good family background, good looks, and she played the piano so well that my brother was envious of her. Ah, I can’t count how many times I jacked off by myself at night thinking about Yoon Yiseo back then.”
Jong-hoon took a sip of his drink, suddenly got excited, and raised his voice.
“Shit, do you know how much effort I put into sucking up to that bitch to get a chance to fuck her! If she had been selling her body all this time, it would have been good for both of us if she had told me earlier! Ha, I thought I wouldn’t get a chance this time either since she went missing, but she was caught red-handed. The company that wants to sign an exclusive contract with our law firm just gave me an invitation to their event. Golden Bridge, does Director Tae know them? They’re a mob company, but they’re raking in all the money these days. Ah, now that I think about it, I think they built this hotel, too.”
“Well, I know a little. Did you enjoy the event?”
“Well, maybe it’s because they’re shady, but the event looked like they had put a lot of money into it. It wasn’t bad. But I can’t believe I ran into Yoon Yiseo there.”
Jong-hoon snapped his fingers and continued.
“When she saw my face, she turned pale and ran out. Now that I think about it, a few months ago, I almost got scammed, and I think Yiseo was trying to con me by pretending it was a voice phishing scam. Approaching me with a sob story about finding her father. Ha, shit. She’s become a complete gold digger. How dare she try to pull a stunt like that on a lawyer. Her brother was also a beggar who just came to borrow money.”
Jong-hoon laughed, holding his sloshing glass. Then, looking at Tae Mu-jin, he urged him to call Yiseo, saying he would pay any amount of money. Tae Mu-jin turned the ice ball he was holding between his thumb and forefinger and said,
“Yiseo has many customers who request her. The price you have to pay is a bit steep.”
“How expensive can a pussy working in a place like this be?”
Jong-hoon laughed, holding his sloshing glass. He urged him to call Yiseo, saying he would pay any amount of money. Tae Mu-jin pressed the call button, and a moment later, Jong-hoon’s head turned at the sound of the door opening. But when he saw the tall woman who had opened the door and entered, he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
“...Who is this? Director Tae, I think you called the wrong person.”
“That’s right. This is Yoon Yiseo from our place. Since you specifically requested her, please treat her well.”
“Yes, thank you.”
Jong-hoon’s face contorted as the tall woman in a black suit bowed respectfully.
“What… this isn’t Yiseo. No, more than that, what am I supposed to do with a woman like this?”
“You requested an escort service, so I have to provide it.”
“The escort I meant wasn’t a bodyguard! Ha, then who was Yoon Yiseo, the one Director Tae was with at the hotel event?”
Tae Mu-jin said, turning the second ice ball he had finished,
“Ah, that Yoon Yiseo is our hotel’s exclusive pianist. She wasn’t feeling well that day and went back without playing.”
“Shit, are you playing a game with me, Director Tae?”
“It seems you have some kind of misunderstanding… As a person in the legal profession, wouldn’t it be a problem for both of us if you had such a dirty misunderstanding?”
This was when Jong-hoon, his face flushed red, reached out to retrieve the business card he had thrown.
“Aaaah!!!”
The ice awl pierced Jong-hoon’s hand and was stuck deep in the table. As Jong-hoon screamed, Tae Mu-jin pushed the ice ball he was holding into Jong-hoon’s open mouth. The woman standing at the entrance immediately locked the door.
“Ugh!! Ugh!!!”
Tae Mu-jin tapped Jong-hoon’s convulsing cheek with the back of his hand and pulled the corners of his mouth up as far as they would go.
“You better keep that in your mouth. Your teeth might shatter, but at least you won’t bite off your tongue. If you happen to cut off your tongue, you could die from bleeding, so try to melt it as slowly as possible.”
Jong-hoon looked at the scar on Tae Mu-jin’s cheek that became more pronounced when he smiled and realized that something was terribly wrong.
“Well, dying is not a big deal, but then I won’t be able to have my fun for long. Just as Mr. Han Jong-hoon said, I’ve put a lot of effort into this game. To weed out the horny dogs who are after Yiseo.”
“Ugh, ugh… ugh…”
“Did you say you jacked off every day thinking about Yiseo? Then I’ll make it so that you’ll piss your pants reflexively just by hearing the name Yoon Yiseo.”
Jong-hoon sat down on the floor and squirmed like an earthworm on dry land. A coldness colder than the ice in his mouth swept over his entire body. He looked up at Tae Mu-jin, who was rolling up his sleeves and laughing, and shivered like a poplar tree.
________________________________________
After leaving the club, Tae Mu-jin got into the waiting car. The driver, who was about to turn to greet Tae Mu-jin, swallowed dryly and returned his head to its original position. The usual intimidating aura from Tae Mu-jin’s body was now replaced with a murderous intent. As Tae Mu-jin had ordered, he immediately drove the car toward the house.
Tae Mu-jin turned on his laptop and checked the CCTV footage of the house. Yiseo had been lying in bed all day again. The sight made his blood boil.
During the days he had been struggling in Seoryeong, he had been covered in blood every day, but the taste of the blood he had today made his body boil for some reason. So, as soon as he arrived home, he washed off the blood with a shower and immediately went to hold Yiseo.
“Ah, aah, ugh…”
A faint moan flowed from Yiseo’s lips as she was violently shaken by his thrusts. Other than that, she was unresponsive, like a doll. Even so, blood rushed to his core as if it was about to burst. He frantically sucked on her slender neck, which felt like it would snap if he held it in one hand, and her soft breasts, which seemed to seep through his fingers when he squeezed them. He buried his lips in the bruises that had bloomed like flowers, which he had made by sucking on them all night again yesterday. No matter how much he sucked, his thirst grew.
During the 11 years he had been at the bottom and climbed to his current position, Tae Mu-jin had always felt a hunger. The first day he stabbed and killed someone, he was so hungry that his stomach churned at the smell of blood. He climbed up the ladder of various crimes, but the more he climbed, the more a profound hunger made him gasp.
A question suddenly came to his mind. After all this, why was the only thing he had left the absence of Yoon Yiseo?
Thwack, thump-thump, thwack. He stopped his frantic piston-like thrusts and pulled out his cock. Her completely wet vaginal opening was a pretty little mouth. There wasn’t a single spot on Yoon Yiseo’s body that wasn’t pretty. Tae Mu-jin lowered his head and covered her open hole with his mouth. Ugh, a moan flowed from Yiseo’s throat, and fluids dripped from the hole. As he frantically sucked them in, his thirst was finally quenched.
However, just like a sudden downpour passing over a desert, his thirst immediately rose again like a sandstorm. He rolled her clitoris between his lips and sucked on it as if to tear it out. The muscles on the inside of Yiseo’s slender thighs trembled. In her unknown number of orgasms, Yiseo’s pleasure point was getting deeper and deeper inside her pelvis. He put his cock all the way to the base of her deepened vagina. When he rotated the glans like a drill on her erogenous zone, her vaginal muscles spasmed and clenched his cock. Enduring the pressure of ejaculation, Tae Mu-jin pulled out his cock again and swallowed the fluids that flowed like a spring.
Ah, now that he thought about it, that lawyer bastard who came looking for Yiseo had also said he would shake his dick every day while thinking of Yiseo. Recalling the moment he plunged the awl into the tip of his dick and the man’s eyes rolling back, Tae Mu-jin thrust his tongue into her vaginal opening. In the end, what a man wants from a woman is one thing. He snickered at his own helplessness, his mouth buried in Yiseo’s vulva. At that moment, Yiseo, who hadn’t reacted much no matter what he did, twisted her pelvis and burst into tears.
“Ugh… hmph, Tae… Mu-jin…”
Yiseo sobbed and called his name. Tae Mu-jin, suppressing the urge to ejaculate that felt like it would explode, faced Yiseo. Her tear-soaked gaze clung to Tae Mu-jin’s face as if to kiss it. Those eyes, her flushed nose tip, her wet cheeks. And her parted lips… he wanted to kiss those lips, to suck and bite them to his heart’s content. A desire that was harder to suppress than the urge to ejaculate, which felt like it would explode, set off firecrackers throughout his body. As if to castrate that desire, Tae Mu-jin cut it short and whispered lowly into Yiseo’s ear,
“Live your life getting fucked like this forever.”
At that moment, Yiseo’s chest, which had been rising and falling with ragged breaths, stopped. And for a long time, it didn’t move. Tae Mu-jin quickly thrust his hips up. Huh, only then did Yiseo let out a long, slow breath. And when he looked down, her eyes were black and empty, as if all the light had drained from them.
Phew, Tae Mu-jin also exhaled the breath he had been holding and ejaculated at the same time. Yiseo’s body only trembled slightly; it no longer reacted. Yiseo’s eyes were turned toward him, but they were unfocused, as if they weren’t seeing anything. It was a very familiar look to Tae Mu-jin. It was the look in the eyes of the women of Seoryeong. When a woman is crushed by loveless sex every night, she will have these eyes. And a woman with these eyes could never leave Seoryeong.
Do I have to possess her to this extent? This question came to him every time his heart wavered, but Tae Mu-jin ultimately chose to possess her. He wanted Yoon Yiseo to fester and rot within him. Just as he himself was.
Even after ejaculating, Tae Mu-jin, whose cock hadn’t shrunk at all, began thrusting again. Tae Mu-jin’s night had just begun.
Yiseo’s vacant eyes fluttered aimlessly with Tae Mu-jin’s movements. At that sight, Tae Mu-jin heard something that had been supporting him crumbling.
“Phew, it doesn’t matter… Yoon Yiseo. None of that matters.”
Believing it truly didn’t matter, Tae Mu-jin collapsed onto Yiseo’s body again and again.
________________________________________
When the housekeeper came into the bedroom, pushing a trolley, Yiseo finally opened her eyes. She sat up, leaning against the headboard. The tray was filled with a traditional Korean meal, soft porridge, and the sandwiches and bread Yiseo liked.
“Get up and have at least a bite. You’ve only been drinking water for days. My goodness, I don’t know if something terrible will happen…”
When the housekeeper urged her, Yiseo put her hand on the porridge bowl but only took a few spoonfuls and stopped. The housekeeper sighed and pulled back the blackout curtains that had completely covered the window. Yiseo had thought it was night, but the strong sunlight was harsh on her eyes. Her vacant mind couldn’t grasp when or how much the day and night had changed.
“I’m sorry… I’ll get up after I sleep a little more.”
“Director Tae is worried sick…”
Yiseo gave a bitter smile. When she said she would eat after taking a nap, the housekeeper reluctantly left the room. Yiseo pulled the covers back over her head. The cloth touching her face was damp. Now that she thought about it, her eyes and cheeks were also swollen and wet with tears. She was always like this after having that dream. The same dream that had been repeated for 11 years. In that dream, she was always happy and warm, but when she woke up, her face was a mess from crying all night.
“Yoon Yiseo, get up!”
Yiseo’s face scrunched up as the blanket was yanked off her. Tae Mu-jin was looking down at her with cold eyes. When she tried to grab the blanket back, he grabbed the collar of her pajamas and dragged her out of the bed. Tae Mu-jin pulled Yiseo along and took her to the kitchen downstairs. The table was full of food, and the housekeeper was flustered, serving soup. Tae Mu-jin forced Yiseo into a chair and said to the housekeeper,
“Just serve her that and you can go home.”
“Ah, yes, Director.”
The housekeeper placed a steaming bowl of soup in front of Yiseo. It was a seaweed soup with sea urchin, and the scent of food, which she hadn’t smelled in a long time, felt fishy, and Yiseo’s brows furrowed.
“Eat. In front of me.”
Tae Mu-jin sat across from Yiseo and picked up his spoon. When Yiseo just stared blankly at the table, he put his spoon down with a thump and ground his teeth. He spoke in a voice that sounded like it could explode at any moment.
“If you finish that bowl of rice, I’ll deduct half of your debt. So eat. Eat it all cleanly.”
At those words, Yiseo picked up her spoon. She put a spoonful of white rice into her mouth. And as she began to chew, Tae Mu-jin finally let out a low breath and picked up his spoon. The rice was perfectly sticky and firm, but because it had been a long time since she had chewed, it felt like she was chewing on a rock. So she chewed it halfway and forced it down her throat. She mechanically repeated scooping the rice, putting it in her mouth, and swallowing. She only stuffed herself with rice, not touching the dishes and soup that filled the table. Then she felt a chill on her skin and looked up. Tae Mu-jin was looking at her with a strange expression. It was the first time she had seen such a look on his face. His distorted eyes were swirling like black waves. Suddenly, she felt nauseous, as if she were seasick.
“Ugh, ugh!!”
Yiseo ran to the bathroom. She bent over the toilet and vomited everything she had just swallowed. Once her stomach was in a knot, it started to spew out gastric acid when there was nothing left to vomit. Her whole body trembled from the pain of her stomach turning inside out.
“Haah… hah… ugh…”
After she had vomited up all the gastric acid, she got up and turned on the tap. As she rinsed her mouth and wiped her face, she saw the corpse-like woman in the mirror and Tae Mu-jin standing behind her. Yiseo wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and stared blankly at the mirror. Tae Mu-jin’s distorted lips looked like he had something to say, but no words came out. Ah. She roughly guessed what he was thinking and spoke for him instead.
“I couldn’t eat it and threw it all up… so let’s just forget about the debt reduction…”
It was strange. At those words, Tae Mu-jin’s face in the mirror seemed to crack. As if it would shatter and crumble at any moment.
Yiseo stumbled back to the bedroom and curled up like a fetus. And she closed her eyes. To sink into the only dream she had left, she let go of the thread of her consciousness without hesitation.
________________________________________
“Director Tae. There was a call to the hotel asking for Yoon Yiseo’s contact information.”
Kwon Gi-seon swallowed dryly as Tae Mu-jin’s eyebrows raised sharply in displeasure. Recently, Tae Mu-jin had been so sharp that it was hard to even meet his eyes. As the man, who was as solid as a rock, sharpened himself to the point where even his subordinates couldn’t meet his gaze or breathe loudly. Moreover, it was rare for Tae Mu-jin to get blood on his hands, but recently, he had been ruthlessly dealing with anyone who looked for Yoon Yiseo.
“Tell them to come right now.”
Tae Mu-jin’s jaw muscles twitched. His murderous eyes clearly showed his discomfort.
The CCTV footage on his laptop had remained unchanged, like a still image. Yiseo lay in bed day and night, motionless as a corpse. Watching that sight made his blood boil. He had possessed Yiseo as he had wanted, but an unknown rage was making his blood hot. So, he was almost glad to receive calls from men looking for Yiseo. After seeing blood in a brutal way, his head would cool down for a very brief moment. So, without even waiting to see who it was, he told them to come to the office immediately.
“Well… this time it’s not a man, it’s a woman.”
Kwon Gi-seon quickly added, as Tae Mu-jin’s eyes lifted fiercely.
“Should I tell her to come now?”
Tae Mu-jin stroked his chin for a moment as if lost in thought, then nodded his head.
________________________________________
Section Chief Son Yoo-hee followed a tall man in a suit and entered the club in the hotel basement. She felt intimidated by the dazzling interior and the people’s attire, but she soon straightened her back and walked. After all, her purpose for coming today was different.
However, when she entered the room and came face to face with the man sitting casually on the sofa, her hands and feet tingled as if she had run into a concrete wall. The man in the black suit greeted her respectfully, but an overwhelming, intimidating aura flowed from his entire body. Section Chief Son tried to regain her composure and, with the highest tone she could manage, asked the man,
“I’m here because I was told I could meet Yu-jin.”
“What is your relationship with Choi Yu-jin?”
“Yu-jin joined our company last year, and we worked on the same team.”
Tae Mu-jin said, slightly raising the corner of his lips as if he understood.
“The employees at that company seem to be looking for Choi Yu-jin quite a lot.”
“Ah…”
Section Chief Son furrowed her brow, recalling the filthy gossip of the male employees at her company. Tae Mu-jin smiled and waved his hand as if to tell Section Chief Son to go back.
“It seems you’ve come here to make an escort reservation, but go back and tell the person to come here themselves. I’ll be sure to greet them kindly.”
“No, that’s not it. I came here because I was worried. And an escort… Yu-jin isn’t the type of person to willingly do that kind of work.”
Tae Mu-jin’s eyebrows raised at an angle.
“There must be some kind of circumstance… Yu-jin, that child, would come to work with her eyes all swollen from crying all night because of a first love from over ten years ago. It doesn’t make sense for a child like that to be doing escort work.”
Section Chief Son shook her head and drank the bottled water in front of her. When she put down the cup and looked up, the black pupils she met were so chillingly cold that it gave her a shiver. Section Chief Son’s shoulders hunched. Still, she couldn’t go back now, as he had told her to.
“…She had a habit of crying in her sleep. Did she tell you that herself?”
“She denies that it was a first love or anything, but how else could she have the same dream about the same man for over ten years? She said she never saw him again after they broke up. A child like that, if it’s a money problem, we need to find another way…”
“Can I hear more about that?”
“Pardon?”
“The dream Choi Yu-jin has every day.”
The man gestured with his chin for her to continue. She didn’t know why the man was curious, but to find out Yiseo’s whereabouts, she couldn’t go against his words. And above all, she had the mistaken impression that the man’s murderous gaze had subsided. Encouraged by that misconception, Section Chief Son opened her mouth again.
“She’s not one to talk about her personal life, but she did tell me once. She said she has the same dream every day. She said she has it so often that she doesn’t know what’s a dream and what’s reality anymore. She said she’s so happy and warm in the dream, but she wakes up crying.”
________________________________________
Yiseo’s bag was full of clothes. She woke up her sleeping brother, held his hand, and left her aunt’s house in Seoryeong in the middle of the night. The road was slippery, and her brother I-hwan was complaining that he was sleepy, but Yiseo’s heart was pounding like the falling snow.
She arrived at the shabby back door of the brothel and knocked. Once, twice, three times. When there was still no sign of anyone, she became anxious, but then the door suddenly swung open, and Tae Mu-jin was there. Tae Mu-jin looked at Yiseo, at I-hwan, who was rubbing his eyes while holding Yiseo’s hand, and at the duffel bag next to them, and he smiled brightly. He lifted Yiseo into his arms and kissed her.
They headed to the bus terminal from there. There was one last bus left, and Tae Mu-jin bought three tickets.
The three of them got on the bus and took the back seat. I-hwan sat by the window, Yiseo next to him, and Tae Mu-jin sat in the aisle seat. I-hwan must have been sleepy because he fell asleep quickly. Tae Mu-jin naturally put his arm around Yiseo’s shoulder and pulled her close. Yiseo rested her head on Tae Mu-jin’s broad chest. There were only three people on the bus, and the bus driver started the bus soon after.
“Are you anxious?”
Tae Mu-jin asked. Yiseo shook her head.
“I’m just a little sleepy.”
Strangely, even though she was in a dream, she felt sleepy in Tae Mu-jin’s arms. Tae Mu-jin patted Yiseo’s arm, telling her to get some sleep and that he would wake her up when they arrived. She didn’t know where the destination was. She didn’t know where they were supposed to go. Yet, she wasn’t worried at all because Tae Mu-jin’s arms were so warm and comforting.
Snow was pouring outside the car window. The streetlights blurred and sharpened in the snow, repeating like a Morse code signal. The blinking signals were like a lullaby. Tae Mu-jin’s slow, patting hand also made Yiseo’s eyes droop. Yiseo yawned softly and burrowed deeper into Tae Mu-jin’s chest. Tae Mu-jin’s chest vibrated with laughter, and the arm embracing Yiseo tightened. Half-asleep, Yiseo felt Tae Mu-jin’s lips touch her cheek and mouth several times and fell from one dream into another.
________________________________________
When she opened her eyes, Tae Mu-jin was in front of her, stroking her wet cheek.
“Yoon Yiseo…”
The voice that called her was as soft and gentle as the hand that wiped away her tears, and Yiseo wondered if she was still dreaming. So she buried her face in Tae Mu-jin’s hand that was cupping her cheek and rubbed against it. Tae Mu-jin let out a low breath and asked,
“Did you have a dream about running away with me from Seoryeong?”
Yiseo nodded her head into Tae Mu-jin’s hand.
“You’re… so selfish. You just wanted to have a dream like that to lessen your guilt. That’s why you’re a mess of tears when you wake up.”
Yiseo nodded again at Tae Mu-jin’s words. Tears gushed out again. Tae Mu-jin brushed her cheek as if wiping away the tears.
“Still, let me hear it. Where did we go after getting off the bus?”
“…I don’t know. We never got off the bus.”
The eyes of Tae Mu-jin in her dream were always gentle and warm, but today, for some reason, they looked sad. So Yiseo’s heart ached. The black pupils she met were swirling like the night sea, so Yiseo reached out her hand and gently stroked the area under Tae Mu-jin’s eyes. Tae Mu-jin closed his eyes, then slowly lifted his eyelids and said,
“Still… let’s pretend you came back, even if it was just in a dream.”
Tae Mu-jin lifted Yiseo, who was curled up on the sofa, with his two arms.
Let’s pretend. Let’s pretend you came back to me. Let’s pretend. He whispered softly as he carried Yiseo and moved her to the bedroom. With every step, he wiped the tears from Yiseo’s cheeks with his lips. Yiseo also wrapped her arms around Tae Mu-jin’s neck and pulled him closer. Tae Mu-jin in her dream was so gentle today that she said something she always regretted asking after waking up.
“Did you keep waiting for me to come?”
Tae Mu-jin laughed softly. His chest vibrated with his laughter, and Yiseo pressed her forehead against the source of the sound.
“I didn’t think so. But since it feels so good to hear that you came back to me, even if it’s just in a dream, I must have been waiting.”
Tae Mu-jin laid Yiseo down on the bed and lay down with her. He pulled Yiseo’s head against his chest and held her tightly against his body. And, as always in her dream, he stroked her head, shoulders, and back. She was always happy in her dreams, but today, for some reason, she was so sad that it felt like her throat was closing up. Still, not wanting to wake up, Yiseo closed her eyes. She wanted to run away from reality forever.
Because, as he had said, she was selfish, self-centered, and cowardly. So she had decided to run away to the end, but not yet…
She missed his embrace in the dream so, so much. So she burrowed deeper into Tae Mu-jin’s arms and fell asleep after crying a little more.
________________________________________
Yiseo sat with her knees hugged to her chest, staring blankly out the window. Water droplets were dripping from the IV bag connected to her slender wrist. Every day at this time, she had to come out to get an IV drip.
The housekeeper approached the huddled Yiseo, checked the remaining amount of the solution, and pulled out the hose.
“Yiseo, you have a visitor. Should I let them in?”
“A visitor… for me?”
She found it strange, as there was no one who would come to visit her, and she wondered if outsiders were even allowed in Tae Mu-jin’s house. The housekeeper smiled brightly and nodded her head.
“Yu-jin! No, how have you been? Why have you become so thin!”
“Section Chief Son?”
Yiseo was stunned by the sudden sight of her. Section Chief Son held Yiseo’s wrist between her thumb and forefinger and got angry, saying she had become too thin.
“…How did you find me here?”
“Director Tae told me to come and have a meal with Yu-jin. I wondered why he was suddenly talking about food. What is this? Are you sick somewhere?”
“…Tae Mu-jin said that?”
“Yes. Can I call you Yiseo from now on? I heard everything from Director Tae. He said you’re having a hard time because of your brother. Oh, I have a cousin like that in my family, so I understand.”
Yiseo gave a faint smile and nodded her head. Seeing the always cheerful Section Chief Son, her facial muscles felt awkward since it had been a long time, but a smile appeared on her face.
Seeing Yiseo’s face come back to life after a long time, the housekeeper was delighted and told her to order anything for lunch. At Yiseo’s request to choose something for her, as everything the housekeeper made was delicious, Section Chief Son ordered a creamy risotto that would be easy on her stomach.
A cozy dining table was set up on the outdoor patio in the garden. While Section Chief Son admired the garden, a starched linen tablecloth was laid out on the table. The housekeeper skillfully placed a centerpiece she had made by brightly weaving tulips, hyacinths, and daffodils picked from the garden, a creamy risotto, pasta for Section Chief Son, freshly baked pizza, and a salad.
Yiseo sat on the bench, brushing her hair aside, feeling a little strange. It was the end of winter, and the wind on her cheeks was not that cold. The garden was always green, tended by a gardener who came every three days. So Yiseo, who had been at Tae Mu-jin’s house for a long time, didn’t know that winter was ending. Only the construction process of the greenhouse had allowed her to feel the passage of time, and now the dome-like shape seemed to be almost complete.
“What is that small house being built over there? It’s all covered in glass and sparkling.”
“I don’t know for sure, but they say it’s a greenhouse. They’re going to decorate the inside like a botanical garden.”
“It’ll be so cool when it’s finished. It looks just like… a pretty birdcage.”
“...”
Now that she thought about it, the women of Seoryeong also sat like pretty birds in a glass terrace. Even though this one was much larger and more beautiful, she was in the same predicament. If she were to meet them again in her dreams, she would be kinder to them instead of ignoring them… As Yiseo stared blankly at the greenhouse, Section Chief Son asked, chewing on a cherry tomato,
“Is Director Tae the man you saw every day in your dreams?”
“Huh? Oh… no, he’s not.”
“Okay, I can tell just by looking at your face.”
Section Chief Son burst out laughing, seeing Yiseo’s troubled expression.
“So, you and your first love went through a long journey and finally got together after 10 years? Wow, tell me more about it. How did you meet again?”
“No. I have a lot of debt, so it’s just a debtor-creditor relationship.”
Yiseo’s face suddenly hardened, and Section Chief Son’s face tilted slightly.
“Really? From what Director Tae said… it looks like he’s very worried about you.”
Saying it wasn’t true, Yiseo lowered her gaze to her bowl and forced herself to move her spoon. After stirring the risotto for a while, she stopped and asked,
“Section Chief… didn’t you say you had a friend who works in insurance? The one who keeps calling you to buy a policy.”
“Yes. He still calls me sometimes. Why? Do you want to get insurance?”
“I just feel so weak these days. I guess I’m getting old.”
“Oh, Yiseo, you can’t say you’re getting old in front of me. Still, it’s not a bad idea to get one when you’re young. Should I introduce you?”
“Yes.” Yiseo smiled faintly and nodded.
________________________________________
With Section Chief Son’s visit, Tae Mu-jin was finally able to rest a little easier.
Yiseo was full of life, as if she had awakened from hibernation. It was a sudden change, like skipping winter and spring and heading straight into early summer.
She got out of bed, where she had been lying all day, and began to clean the house, sweeping and wiping every corner. She took down dozens of curtains and ran the washing machine for days on end, and she polished the furniture, which was already spotless, until it was gleaming. When she went out to the garden to pull weeds all day, Tae Mu-jin, who couldn’t stand it anymore, forcibly dragged her back into the house.
“How’s the seasoned vegetable? I made that.”
Tae Mu-jin frowned at the dinner table that had been elaborately set with the help of the housekeeper. Yiseo smiled and pushed the bowl of seasoned vegetables toward Tae Mu-jin. Tae Mu-jin’s gaze was fixed not on the bowl but on Yiseo’s slender wrist, which looked like it would break.
“You’re sickly and you still don’t listen to me. You should be taking care of yourself instead of doing things like this.”
“It’s rapeseed namul. They say it comes out around this time of year, and since it tasted a little bitter to me, the housekeeper told me to add oranges. It sounds strange to put oranges in namul, right? But you’ll be surprised when you taste it.”
Tae Mu-jin reluctantly picked up the namul with his chopsticks and put it in his mouth. Just as Yiseo had said, the combination of the bitter namul and the sour fruit juice was surprisingly good.
“It’s not bad.” Yiseo’s eyes wavered for a moment at Tae Mu-jin’s nonchalant tone. And then they bent into a wide smile.
Yiseo also began to move her spoon. Tae Mu-jin watched Yiseo eat for a while before starting his own meal.
At night, Yiseo would lie in bed and wait, but Tae Mu-jin would just look down at her and not touch her.
“Are you… not going to do it tonight either?”
“I don’t have a hobby of holding a woman who’s nothing but bones.”
Tae Mu-jin sighed, then unbuttoned the linen dress Yiseo was wearing. The collarbone was deeply hollowed out between the parted lapels. He lowered his gaze a little further, and the curve of her ribs was visible through her skin. Tae Mu-jin carefully stroked that curve with his finger and said,
“Eat your meals properly, which the housekeeper makes for you, don’t just pick at them. And don’t whine about the IV drip hurting. It’s still too much for you to move around strenuously, so when the exercise therapist comes, don’t go out to the garden just because you find it bothersome; at least do some stretching.”
Yiseo let out a small laugh. When Tae Mu-jin frowned, she said with a smile still on her face,
“Nagging doesn’t suit Tae Mu-jin at all.”
“Ha, who made me like this?”
“I… I can’t do anything right to the very end.”
Yiseo mumbled softly, and her eyes, looking up, were deeply sunken like a shipwreck. For a moment, Tae Mu-jin wanted to sweep Yiseo away. He wanted to shake her sunken eyes and make them foggy again. Instead, he withdrew the hand that was touching Yiseo’s body. He clenched his fist so tightly that his palm indented from his fingertips. If he were to embrace her like this, Yiseo, who was like a bone-dry clay doll, would crumble and fall apart. Tae Mu-jin got up and left the bedroom. Yiseo stared blankly at the door Tae Mu-jin had closed.
The next morning, Yiseo was in the dressing room, holding up various ties to the shirt Tae Mu-jin was wearing and choosing one.
“The shirt is either black or white, and the tie is always black. Tae Mu-jin, you’re even worse than you were in Seoryeong.”
“Then you can choose and buy them next time.”
Tae Mu-jin’s lips curled up in a loose smile. Yiseo made a troubled face and put a tie, with silver thread embroidered on black silk, around Tae Mu-jin’s neck. She tightened the knot below his protruding Adam’s apple and straightened his shirt collar. And then she slid her hand down the tie smoothly. Tae Mu-jin’s ribcage swelled up. The way Yiseo fidgeted with his tie was so similar to how she would fondle his cock that blood rushed tightly to his core. Suppressing the intense urge, Tae Mu-jin left the room, and Yiseo followed him out.
As he got into the elevator, Tae Mu-jin said repeatedly,
“Don’t do any cooking today, and no cleaning. Especially don’t do any gardening.”
Yiseo burst out laughing.
As the elevator doors closed, she could be seen waving her hand.
Tae Mu-jin’s black pupils wavered for a moment. That was the last time he had seen her smile so brightly in Seoryeong.
At that moment, time seemed to stop, and it was as if he was facing the ghost of Yoon Yiseo from Seoryeong. He reached his hand out toward the closing door. But before that, a sense of falling engulfed his entire body.
________________________________________
After confirming that the elevator Tae Mu-jin had taken had reached the first floor, Yiseo came back inside. The housekeeper hadn’t arrived yet, and since she would be here in an hour, Yiseo had to hurry.
She went straight to the bedroom and took off the pillowcases. Then she took off the duvet cover and the sheets. She opened the closet door wide and took out all the comforters. She rolled them up, carried them in her arms, and headed to the bathroom. She put detergent in the bathtub, which was filled with water, and pushed the comforters in. The white comforters puffed up like balloons. Yiseo got into the bathtub barefoot and stomped on the cloud-like comforters with alternating feet. She took out the comforters that were heavy with water, twisted them with her hands, and squeezed the water out. The comforters had been recently washed, but she felt like she could smell that smell. The smell that had followed Yiseo like a shadow ever since she left Seoryeong. She put them back in the bathtub and stomped on them again and again.
She carried the comforters, tied up like bundles, and headed to the garden, groaning. The water-logged comforters were so heavy that she had to put them down and drag them along the ground. A soaking wet trail followed behind the comforters like a snake.
The weather was clear. The sky was blue without a single cloud, and the wind was moderately cold. It was the perfect day to dry the comforters. She had checked the weather forecast the day before. Director Choi was asleep downstairs, having drunk the drink with sleeping pills Yiseo had asked for, saying she couldn’t sleep well.
She pulled out the comforters one by one. The rooftop garden was for decorative purposes and had no signs of daily life, so she spread them out in suitable places. She spread them out on the outdoor table like a tablecloth and covered a bust of the Virgin Mary holding a baby with one. She also hung them on the glass windows of the greenhouse that had been completed a few days ago.
________________________________________
In his office, Tae Mu-jin checked his tablet PC and let out a scoff.
A live video feed from the CCTV cameras installed throughout the house was displayed on the screen.
He had told her to wait quietly today. But Yiseo had taken out all the comforters and was spreading them out in the garden. Just then, one of the comforters was being carried away by the wind. A smile naturally appeared on his lips at the sight of Yiseo belatedly discovering it and struggling to catch the fluttering comforter. His lips curled even more as he recalled her brightly smiling face when she saw him off.
Just then, his phone rang, and Tae Mu-jin was about to press the reject button when he saw that the caller was Section Chief Son and pressed the call button.
[Director Tae, are you with Yiseo, by any chance?]
The high-pitched voice asked without preamble.
“Yiseo is at home, but is something wrong?”
[No… nothing’s wrong, but I introduced Yiseo to a friend who works in an insurance company. Yiseo said she wasn’t feeling well these days. I met that friend earlier, and he told me that Yiseo had taken out a lot of insurance policies. I thought it was a little strange, so I asked him for the details, and they were almost all death benefits. I had a bad feeling, and I couldn’t get ahold of Yiseo, so I called you, Director Tae… ]
Tae Mu-jin immediately turned his gaze to the CCTV screen. Yiseo was just now carrying a comforter bundle that was bigger than her and heading toward the glass railing. A crack appeared on Tae Mu-jin’s face, as if the glass was splitting.
________________________________________
Yiseo carried the last remaining goose comforter and headed for the glass railing. The feathers inside the comforter were so full of water that it was heavy enough to make her arms tremble, and water dripped profusely with every step.
When she reached the glass railing, she put the comforter down and let out a few labored breaths.
She took out a cigarette from her pocket and put it in her mouth. She lit it, took a puff, and looked down over the railing. Her head spun from the dizzying height. Fortunately, the area below was a flower garden, so no one was passing by.
This is the right thing to do. She repeated this thought to herself like a mantra. To pay off the debt to Tae Mu-jin and to keep her father’s last words to take good care of I-hwan.
She let out a long, white stream of smoke. She liked that she didn’t have to smell that odor while she was smoking. Now Yiseo knew what the source of that disgusting smell was. It was the stench from the sedimentary layers of guilt that she had built up while running away for 11 years. It was funny, but now that even that guilt was gone, there was nothing left. No, only Tae Mu-jin’s cynicism and contempt remained. And once even that was gone, Tae Mu-jin would probably throw her back into that nightmarish event venue, naked. It was the right decision to make before that happened.
Yiseo put out her last cigarette, picked up the comforter, and hung it over the railing. She grabbed the end and shook it. Thump, thump, water dripped over the railing, and Yiseo’s body swayed. Yiseo pushed the comforter that was outside the railing a little more. The comforter pouring down below was too heavy to hold. She shook it once more as if to shake it off, and her body tilted forward as if it would fall. Reflexively, her back arched backward. All she had to do was fall with the comforter. It was funny, but her body began to tremble, betraying her mind and thoughts.
It had to be an accident. If the maximum amount of death benefit was paid out, she could just about clear her debt. And this was the method she had chosen in case Section Chief Son blamed herself.
Yiseo’s hands, which were tightly gripping the comforter, trembled as she looked out at the sea. The foam, reflected in the sunlight, looked like white snow. As she watched, her fear slowly began to subside. The last image of Tae Mu-jin flickered in her mind. His tie knot was a little crooked. Blaming herself for not being able to properly tie that one knot, Yiseo gripped the edge of the comforter tightly again. She put her strength into it and threw it out toward the sea like a net.
“Yoon Yiseo!!!”
Tae Mu-jin’s voice, calling out to her as if in a desperate plea, sounded like a hallucination.
Flutter, the white cloth spread out in the air like a wing. White, so white, impeccably clean. Did I once look like that in Tae Mu-jin’s eyes?
Her vision was covered in white, and suddenly, she recalled the music room that had shone so brightly with the light reflecting off the snow. And the first kiss they had shared while she was screaming at him.
‘Tell them you’re Tae Mu-jin’s woman.’
‘I’ll kill every one of those bastards who are harassing the women you manage!’
Tae Mu-jin, maybe we were already on different paths back then.
Yiseo’s body was wrapped in the falling comforter. The dizzying sensation of falling was similar to the kiss of that boy she had first touched on that day.
________________________________________
‘The right humerus is dislocated, and the chest muscle is slightly torn. She’ll be in a cast for about a month, and we’ll check on her progress. It seems she lost consciousness for a while from the shock of the fall, but there are no other abnormalities on the MRI, so let’s just wait a bit.’
The doctor gave a simple diagnosis of Yiseo’s condition. Tae Mu-jin sat next to Yiseo, who was lying with a peaceful expression as if she were asleep.
His right hand was trembling slightly. As if that small body was still hanging from his arm.
As soon as he hung up with Section Chief Son, he drove like a madman. The system, which was designed to make entry impossible for anyone other than Tae Mu-jin and a few others he had authorized for security reasons, had now become a hindrance. The high-speed elevator went up in an instant, but that moment felt like an eternity. And when he ran to the garden, he saw Yiseo standing precariously on the glass railing. Yiseo, wrapped in white cloth, looked like a small bird. As if she was about to fly away. Recalling that sight, his heart pounded as if it would burst again. If he had been even one step late, if he hadn’t been able to grab Yiseo’s arm as she fell.
The sensation of snatching Yiseo was still in his right hand. Tae Mu-jin wanted to cut out that sensation along with his arm. He raised that hand and covered his face. He wanted to break her and keep her by his side forever. And as Tae Mu-jin watched the broken Yiseo all night, he felt disgusted with himself.
________________________________________
Yiseo woke up two days later.
The doctor explained the cast on her arm and diagnosed that she could be discharged next week. She was in a private room, so she was alone, and she saw no one except for the nurses and doctors who came and went for treatment. On the day she was discharged, Kwon Gi-seon came to see her.
Kwon Gi-seon packed Yiseo’s bags without saying a word and paid the hospital bill at the counter.
“Tae Mu-jin… is he…?”
“Why are you asking that? You wouldn’t be able to see him anyway if he was dead.”
Shit, Kwon Gi-seon cursed and threw the Boston bag he had brought to Yiseo as if he was handing it to her. Her hands, which had taken it by surprise, felt heavy.
“This is enough for you to live a good life for the rest of your days, as long as you don’t live in luxury, so don’t get greedy anymore. Okay? Just leave Tae Mu-jin alone.”
“I… I haven’t paid off my debt yet.”
“Shit, Yoon Yiseo. Please stop with that bullshit. The way for you to pay off your debt is to not appear in front of Tae Mu-jin. You’re trying to repay a kindness with your own corpse. No wonder Tae Mu-jin can’t be in his right mind.”
“Mu-jin, is he very… angry?”
“Angry? Are you kidding me? Do you know how many contracts were on the line in the business trips Tae Mu-jin canceled every time you pulled a stunt like a hunger strike? Shit, and on top of that, he’s inviting all the bastards who were eyeing you to an event and tearing them apart one by one.”
Yiseo’s stiff cheek trembled.
“…What do you mean by that? An event… wasn’t he trying to abandon me?”
“Abandon you? He summoned all the bastards who were after you and half-killed them. The money and connections that went into cleaning up after Tae Mu-jin himself dealt with that lawyer bastard, your ex-boyfriend, so he couldn’t even function as a man, when he could have just had his subordinates do it. That bastard was a lawyer, and his family frequently visited the courthouse, so it was a close call even for Tae Mu-jin. This way is absolutely not Tae Mu-jin’s style.”
Yiseo’s lips quivered, but she couldn’t say anything more. Kwon Gi-seon looked down at Yiseo with a look of displeasure and sighed.
“Hah, I don’t know the reason, but… both in Seoryeong and now, Tae Mu-jin gets all messed up whenever he’s with you.”
“I… I thought Tae Mu-jin was going to abandon me… I only thought that…”
“Yeah, Tae Mu-jin can’t abandon you. So, if you have a shred of conscience, you should abandon him.”
After saying those last words, Kwon Gi-seon turned his back on her.
Yiseo was standing blankly in the hospital lobby and dropped her bag when someone passing by bumped into her. There was a clattering sound from inside the bag as it fell to the floor. With a strange sense of déjà vu, Yiseo unzipped it. The bag was full of coin chips.
Yiseo zipped up the bag and walked out to the hospital entrance. Wet snow was falling from the sky.
She got into one of the taxis lined up at the main entrance. When the driver asked her where she was going, she tightened her fist around the bag. She gave him the address of one of the buildings near Tae Mu-jin’s house that she had seen from his garden.
________________________________________
“Did your discharge go well?”
At the familiar voice, Yiseo raised her head. She had been waiting endlessly in front of the elevator for his exclusive use. Tae Mu-jin was looking down at her, having arrived at some point.
“Oh, yeah…”
Tae Mu-jin said nothing and showed no expression. Yiseo’s heart ached at his face, and she said anything that came to mind.
“The doctor said… I wasn’t hurt too badly. The cast is a bit much, but they said I can take it off sooner than it looks…”
Tae Mu-jin nodded once as if he understood and turned his back, heading for the elevator. Yiseo hurriedly got up and stood between Tae Mu-jin and the elevator. She put the bag down at his feet and said,
“I feel like I’ve never properly asked for your forgiveness. Mu-jin, I…”
“Is this not enough?”
Tae Mu-jin asked, stroking his forehead with his hand. Yiseo’s heart sank at his tired expression, which she had never seen before.
“Mu-jin…”
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not being sarcastic right now. I’m genuinely asking. If it’s not enough, I can give you more. Just say the word.”
Now. Tae Mu-jin emphasized the word as if to say it had to be now. The word meant this was the last time, and Yiseo’s throat tightened.
“If not, take this and go.”
Tae Mu-jin picked up the bag and threw it to Yiseo’s chest. Something in the bag was pressed against her, and something hot flowed from her reddened eyes.
“Let’s end the calculation with this. So take it and go.”
“How… ugh, how can I… take this?”
“This is the price for never appearing in front of me again. So take this and go. That should be enough for you to never have to look for me for the rest of your life. So please, take it and go.”
“How can… there be a calculation like… that…”
Yiseo’s arm, which was holding the bag, trembled. Tae Mu-jin was trying to abandon her completely now.
Phew, Tae Mu-jin let out a hollow laugh that was more like a sigh and ran his hand over his face.
“Yoon Yiseo.”
He called out in a low voice. Tae Mu-jin bent down and lowered his gaze. His close black pupils were as cold as if they had gathered the last chill of winter.
“I find you disgusting. So disgusting that I can’t breathe.”
Tae Mu-jin… she wanted to call his name, but her tight throat couldn’t spit anything out. Instead, tears overflowed as if the full dam had burst with one last drop.
“Don’t cry. I’m so sick of your crying that I can’t stand it. Please just go, Yoon Yiseo.”
“Ugh… I’m sorry… I’m sorry… Tae Mu-jin… I’m sorry.”
“If you’re sorry, then never appear in front of me again.”
A sob hiccupped in her chest. Tae Mu-jin grabbed Yiseo’s arm roughly and dragged her out of the lobby. He pushed Yiseo out the door and was about to turn his back. Yiseo barely managed to grab Tae Mu-jin’s arm with the fingers that were sticking out of the end of her cast. Tae Mu-jin looked down at Yiseo’s fingers, which were trembling as thinly as a bare winter branch, and wrapped his hand around them. Yiseo. He called out to her softly and met her dark gaze.
“Let’s not even look at each other in our dreams.”
At that moment, Yiseo’s fingers snapped as if they were broken and lost their strength.
Tae Mu-jin pulled Yiseo’s fingers off his arm and quickly walked away from the entrance.
Yiseo stared blankly at the entrance where Tae Mu-jin had disappeared. She didn’t think Tae Mu-jin would come back out. But she couldn’t move. She was stuck in that spot as if she had been nailed down. As she stood there, the day grew dark, and the snow fell more and more heavily.
It wasn’t until after midnight that Yiseo walked down the entrance steps.
The snow was pouring down like on the last day in Seoryeong. Yiseo walked endlessly. She walked aimlessly, not knowing where she was going. Snow piled up on Yiseo’s eyelashes, hair, and shoulders as she walked. She didn’t brush it off, and it continued to accumulate.
Crossing the bridge that connected to Yeongjong Island, Yiseo stopped for a moment. Only then did she realize the existence of the bag she was holding and opened the zipper. She turned it upside down over the railing and shook it out. The chips tumbled out and were swallowed by the black sea. She picked up the empty bag and walked again. Just before she left the bridge, Yiseo looked back. The island she had left was hidden by the snow that covered everything.
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