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Waking from her sleep, Yiseo checked the window. It was still dark, so she checked the clock on her nightstand; it was 4 a.m. It was winter, so it would be a while before dawn.
As expected, when she touched her face, her eyes were puffy, and her wet cheeks were numb from the cold air. She was always like this after having that dream. She considered going back to sleep and shifted her body, but a stale odor wafted up to her nose, making her head throb. It was like damp, moldy air, or old wallpaper yellowed with years of cigarette tar.
She gave up on sleep and got up, stripping the comforter and pillowcases. Even though it was the middle of the night, the woman downstairs worked the night shift, so she started the washing machine. Crouching in front of the humming machine, she placed an ice pack over her eyes, then flicked on a lighter and lit the cigarette in her mouth. The terrible stench was covered by the cigarette smoke, and she could finally breathe a little easier. She inhaled deeply, closed her eyes, and waited for dawn.
.. *. *. *. *.
“Yujin, did you have that dream again?”
As soon as she sat down at her desk at work, her colleague, Team Manager Son Yoo-hee, clucked her tongue and asked.
“It’s still very swollen, isn’t it? I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry to me for? What kind of first love did you have that was so heartbreaking that you come to work with your eyes all swollen like that every time you have that dream?”
“No, it’s not like that…”
Team Manager Son shrugged her shoulders, as if to say, if it’s not that, then what else is there to cry about?
That was preposterous. A first love. It wasn’t a past that could be so easily called that.
“Here, eat this. You didn’t eat anything again, did you?”
“Oh, thank you.”
Team Manager Son handed her a chocolate in a pretty wrapper. The sweet taste stung her tongue, and her mind felt a little clearer.
Team Manager Son, from the accounting department, always said she dragged herself to work every day for over 20 years to pay for her kids’ cram school fees, yet she was always full of energy. She would always give Yiseo a dessert in the morning since Yiseo never ate breakfast. As a sign of gratitude, Yiseo grabbed her wallet to go buy coffee.
“You have a latte in the morning, right? I’ll go and get one quickly…”
“It’s fine, sit down, Yujin. You have to save money before you get married. Why waste it? Just make me a cup of instant mix. I should be losing weight, but I keep craving something sweet in the morning.”
Since Team Manager Son firmly refused, Yiseo headed to the pantry.
Thinking about it, she had a lot of good people around her. Even in her current situation, where she’s been working in entry-level support roles for 10 years, constantly having to find a new job because she’s hiding under the assumed name of Choi Yujin, she was still surrounded by good people. When she was young, she took it for granted and didn’t appreciate it. Pouring hot water into a paper cup, Yiseo gave a dry laugh.
“Yujin, make me a cup of coffee too.”
“Oh! Me too, please. I should have a cup now that I’ve seen you, Yujin.”
Two male employees from the sales team entered the pantry, acknowledging Yiseo and talking to her. Yiseo gave a slight nod and, as they requested, tore open two more instant coffee packets.
“If I ask you to get coffee after work, you won’t agree, right? Dinner is even less likely, and drinks are out of the question. Right?”
The gaze from behind her felt sticky as she made the coffee. She had never accepted any of the persistent requests from the male employees, whether individually or as a team, since she started working at the company last year.
“Instead, I’ll make you a delicious one right now.”
With a faint smile, Yiseo handed each of them a paper cup. In the past, she would have curtly refused with a blunt tone or not responded at all. The only thing she had gained over time was this much tact.
“We have a company dinner tonight, are you really not going to come with us just once? It’s not for any other reason, it’s just that we’re grateful you helped resolve the unsettled receipt from last time.”
“Team Manager Son worked hard on that case, not me.”
“Oh, well, Team Manager Son goes home to see her kids right after work. In that case, we can all join, so why don’t you ask her?”
“It’s audit season now, so she’s busy. I’ll ask her if she has time later.”
Just as Yiseo was about to open the pantry door, sensing they were going to be persistent again and giving a vague answer, she heard a voice.
“Hey, enough already. She said she doesn’t want to hang out with the sales team. You’d have to be at least a lawyer from a law firm.”
The tone was sarcastic and meant to be overheard.
The male employees, who had approached her with goodwill, began to get snarky after they found out that Yiseo had been meeting separately with the company’s legal counsel. She already had a prior engagement to meet with him again tonight. Without a word, Yiseo left the pantry with a faint smile.
.. *. *. *. *.
“Yiseo, over here… Oh, sorry. It’s Yujin, right?”
Jong-hun, who was waiting in front of the restaurant, waved at Yiseo as she got out of the taxi.
Two months ago, Yiseo had unexpectedly run into Jong-hun in the company hallway. He was the new lawyer for the company’s consulting firm, and he was as surprised and delighted to see her as he had been 11 years ago at the ski resort. And just like back then, Yiseo felt a little burdened by him, who knew her real name.
“I’m sorry, the traffic was a bit heavy because it’s rush hour.”
“It’s fine. Everyone else will take another 30 or 40 minutes to get here anyway. Let’s go inside first.”
Today was the day that a couple from Jong-hun’s longtime group was handing out wedding invitations. She heard that they had rented out an entire day at a famous restaurant that only accepted twenty teams a day. The modern interior, decorated with red-toned decorations for winter, created a festive, end-of-year atmosphere that welcomed the guests.
The gathering was friendly and lively throughout.
The multi-course meal was as excellent as it was artfully presented. The mood of the group heightened when a custom-made sugar cake, humorously reenacting the moment the main couple first met while studying abroad in New York, was brought out.
“How are the wedding preparations going? It must not have been easy to book that date at the S Hotel.”
“We were able to set the date thanks to Seong-hui, who is friends with the owner’s son. Besides, Jae-hui is even busier preparing for her recital.”
“When is Jae-hui’s recital?”
“The third weekend of this month. If you have time, you should come too, and Yujin, you should come with him. Oh, I don’t mean to pressure you, but you should really come if you have nothing to do and are bored, Yujin. Do you like classical music, by any chance?”
The bride-to-be smiled brightly and handed over the wedding invitation, recital ticket, and brochure. Yiseo felt Jong-hun flinch and look at her for a moment, but she calmly reached out her hand.
“Yes, I used to like it. A long time ago.”
Yiseo skimmed the brochure full of her professional background. Her private music conservatory in New York and her competition awards. Coincidentally, they were the exact same things Yiseo had been preparing for when she was a student. When she offered her congratulations for both the wedding and the recital, the bride-to-be smiled brightly.
“Alright, let’s toast to the marriage of our first couple in this group. I’ve prepared a small gift.”
A man who seemed to be the leader of the group started, and everyone’s eyes turned to him.
As Jong-hun had hinted earlier, the man was the second son of a food distribution company and imported wine as a hobby. The man gestured, and a staff member brought over a pre-opened bottle of wine. He held the bottle out toward the group so they could see the label, and small gasps of admiration erupted from all over.
“Wow, the vintage Romanee-Conti I’ve only heard about! I can’t believe I get to drink this, thanks to you.”
“Thanks to Jae-hui’s wedding, we get to be so spoiled. How much does one glass of this cost?”
A small wave of excitement spread around the table, thanks to the wine that cost tens of thousands of dollars a bottle. While a staff member poured the wine, someone joked that the glasses were not even 1mm apart, and a boisterous laugh erupted. Once the glasses were filled, everyone raised theirs. The man who gifted the wine offered a few words of congratulations, and the red blessing shimmered in the air.
“Glad you came with me tonight, aren’t you?”
Jong-hun shook his wine glass and smiled with satisfaction. Yiseo also smiled silently and nodded her head.
Most of the group members were professionals like Jong-hun or worked at companies their parents owned. They were all kind and had the good manners to not ask any more questions after a brief inquiry about her background.
She brought the glass close to her face, and a familiar scent wafted up to her nose.
Yiseo’s dad would often open this wine when it was her birthday or a special occasion. She was still a minor back then, but he would laugh and pour her a glass, saying, “Your first taste of wine might as well be Romanee-Conti.” Yiseo would sip it, scrunching up her face and wondering what anyone saw in the taste, and her dad would laugh heartily.
Everything about this place felt so detached from her, yet the bitter liquid she held in her mouth was so familiar. Forcing herself to swallow, an unforgettable taste stung her throat.
A flush rose to her eyes. Mistaking it for tipsiness, Jong-hun kept glancing at her.
.. *. *. *. *.
“I’m still looking into your father’s case.”
They were in front of her house, after the get-together had ended, in Jong-hun’s car. He had been insistent on giving her a ride home and even called a designated driver.
Two months ago, Yiseo, knowing that Jong-hun was aware of her situation, had asked him to look into her father’s last whereabouts. She just wanted to find his body, if nothing else, so she could hold a funeral. Yiseo got out of the car and rummaged through her coat pocket. She lit her last cigarette. Just as she took a puff, Jong-hun, who had followed her out, snatched the cigarette from her lips.
“You… this doesn’t suit you.”
He then pressed his lips against the spot where the cigarette had been.
The reason she didn’t flinch was because she felt nothing. It was like being touched by an inanimate object, like a wine glass, a fork, or a napkin from the restaurant. She had been numb ever since she left Seoryeong. Instead, one of her senses, as if all her dead senses had gathered there, became incredibly vivid. That foul, unidentifiable stench started to waft up to her nose again. Yiseo turned her head, took the cigarette he was holding between his fingers, and put it back in her mouth.
“Why did you send back the retainer fee I sent you?”
“How could I take that money, Yiseo? I would be hurt if you did that.”
“Just take it. We have to be clear about these things.”
Jong-hun’s expression showed his hurt feelings. However, Yiseo was sick of debts. She would not have come to a gathering she had no interest in today if it weren’t for the fact that it was a substitute for the retainer fee he refused.
“Yiseo, please don’t be like this. Do you know how much you mean to me? You… you were my first.”
First love. Jong-hun seemed to have said something like that during their second reunion. Yiseo suppressed a snicker by biting the filter. She looked at Jong-hun’s eyes, full of nothing but distant, fond, and sweet affection for what he called his first love, and felt envious. The stench was getting so strong that the cigarette smoke couldn’t cover it. She gave Jong-hun a quick goodbye and turned her back to him.
.. *. *. *. *.
A call from a number she hadn’t seen in a long time made Yiseo’s heart sink. Every time she saw this number, she hesitated to block it. When she came face-to-face with the owner of the number, she deeply regretted not blocking it sooner.
“Noona, just this once. Really, for the last time, just once! Please, I’m begging you.”
“No.”
“This is for real this time. Seong-jin hyung is opening a cell phone store, and if I just contribute a little, we can open it under a joint name. This is my last chance, and I really want to get my life together.”
“I said no.”
Avoiding Yihwan’s desperate eyes, Yiseo stared blankly at a spot in the cafe. Yihwan was asking her to give him money for his business, claiming it was his chance to get back on his feet. But Yiseo saw right through him. He was asking her to pay off his gambling debts.
When did things go wrong?
The definite turning point was a few years ago when she found out that Yihwan had taken the deposit money for the house. That money was so important. It was money that was the cost of someone’s life, and thanks to it, she hadn’t had to sleep on the streets after escaping Seoryeong, and she was able to send Yihwan to school. It was the last safety net for her and her brother to keep them from hitting rock bottom. Yiseo had tolerated Yihwan losing that money to gambling and even selling the two wristwatches they had been given as gifts. But when she found out that Yihwan had stolen the coins she had kept hidden deep in a drawer, the ones she couldn’t even bear to look at, Yiseo decided not to honor her father’s last words to take good care of Yihwan.
To suppress the anger that was surging again, Yiseo gulped down her cold coffee.
“Don’t you feel sorry for me, Noona?”
“What?”
At Yihwan’s sudden accusation, Yiseo frowned.
“You lived comfortably and well until right before you graduated high school. But me! I had to struggle and suffer since I was in elementary school!”
“What am I supposed to do about our family going bankrupt back then? Are you crazy from gambling?”
“You wouldn’t know because you lived an easy life, but what about my childhood? It’s your fault too. You were my guardian!!”
Yihwan’s bloodshot eyes looked genuinely wronged. That’s what made Yiseo so dumbfounded.
“Noona… can’t you ask that lawyer hyung you’re seeing these days? I heard he’s been following you since you were a kid.”
“Yoon Yihwan!”
“What else am I supposed to do? There are so many guys who are head-over-heels for you, Noona. Yes! Even that guy in Seoryeong who liked you came with a bag of money and…”
“Shut up. Say one more word.”
“Noona…”
Not wanting to associate with him anymore, Yiseo got up from her seat. Yihwan grabbed her arm.
“Noona, you can’t leave like this. If you don’t help me this time, I’ll die!”
His lifeless eyes did look desperate. Looking into his eyes, Yiseo emotionlessly said,
“Then die.”
To avoid seeing her brother’s crumbling face, Yiseo left the cafe without looking back.
.. *. *. *. *.
She realized Yihwan’s words were sincere a week later.
“Ms. Yoon Yiseo, are you feeling a little better now?”
Yiseo came to her senses at the sound of her name being called. The first thing that registered was the cold cement floor. And a strange, humming sound, like a dying animal. She struggled to lift her eyelids, and she saw the shoes of the men standing around her. Among them, a familiar, bloody, lump-like figure caught her eye. Her eyes met the figure’s. Although she couldn’t hear a sound because of the duct tape over his mouth, her ears felt like they were ringing. Noona!!!
“You should stop lying around now, Ms. Yoon Yiseo. Hey, take that away.”
The man holding a water bucket full of ice stepped back. Come to think of it, her whole body was soaked, and the cold she just became aware of made her shiver uncontrollably.
“W-what did you… what did you do… to Yihwan?”
“Your brother didn’t pay his debt. I guess we asked him a little too forcefully to find out if he wasn’t paying or couldn’t.”
“T-this… is false imprisonment and assault. N-no matter what, you can’t… collect money like this legally.”
At Yiseo’s words, the loan shark let out a hollow laugh.
“That’s when you take out a typical private loan. We tried to solve it with Mr. Yoon Yihwan if possible, but even if we scraped all of his organs, it wouldn’t be enough to pay the interest. So what are we supposed to do? You’re blood relatives; the older sister has to pay for him.”
When the loan shark presented her with a certificate of payment agreement, Yiseo shook her head madly. The amount was not something she could ever pay, even if she gathered all the money she had. She glared at the bloodied Yoon Yihwan, and tears streamed down his swollen eyes.
The loan shark withdrew all the money from Yiseo’s card.
He clicked his tongue at the amount and then started calling the few numbers saved on Yiseo’s phone. The calls were threatening ones, saying there was a problem with Yoon Yiseo and to transfer money to a specific account. When the man threatened her to help him, she said she’d rather die, but when they repeatedly slapped her cheek to make her moan, some people sent money. The last call to Jong-hun was cut off first, with only a dry voice saying he would report it as a voice phishing scam.
“Ms. Yoon Yiseo, ha, do you think we’re doing this to play games?”
“W-what else do you want me to do… that’s all I have.”
“So, Ms. Yoon Yiseo needs to think of a way to get money. Unless you want to see your only brother get chopped into pieces. Hey, bring him over.”
The loan shark motioned with his chin, and Yihwan was dragged in front of Yiseo. Yihwan’s right wrist was shaking while the loan shark held it. The loan shark received a sashimi knife, placed the tip on Yihwan’s finger, and raised the handle high. The sharp, blue blade glinted under the basement’s fluorescent light.
“You have twenty chances, down to your toes. Ms. Yoon Yiseo, what should we do? Huh?”
Cut it, cut it!!! Yihwan lost his light and his eyes went black as he screamed. Seeing Yiseo screaming with bloodshot eyes, the loan shark frowned and let out a short, hollow laugh.
“If that’s what the lady wants, then.”
The blade repositioned itself. Yihwan’s pupils shook like a broken metronome. It’s better to not have a brother like that. It’s better if he…!
“Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!”
No, no!!! Just before the blade came down, Yiseo shrieked.
She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe it was happening. The situation felt like she was back on that day again, and it made her want to vomit.
“Hee… ugh… Seo… Seoryeong….”
Yiseo spewed out a cry and mumbled. The loan shark temporarily put down the knife and poked her cheek with the blunt side of the knife, telling her to speak clearly. She had been running for 11 years, and she ended up back on that day she was stripped naked and shivering at her aunt’s house. She became a mere beast again, just like on that day.
“Seo, Seoryeong… Tae… Mu-jin… hee…”
Since she was a beast, she could dare to utter his name. She said his name out loud for the first time in 11 years.
.. *. *. *. *.
The sound of footsteps entered her consciousness. Screech, a thick iron door opened with a sound like nails scratching, and the voice of the loan shark, who had been acting so malicious before, sounded flustered.
“I didn’t expect you to actually come. Ha, it’s our job to lend money and get it back. But I had no idea that you were actually acquainted with Director Tae.”
The footsteps stopped near Yiseo’s head. Lying face down on the cold cement floor, she barely lifted her eyes. She saw the shiny tips of his shoes. And the hem of his suit pants, which were perfectly straight. Yiseo struggled to lift her gaze. The tall man in the black suit was too big to fit in her vision even when she looked up for a long time. His hair was sleekly slicked back without a single strand out of place, his firm forehead. And… his dark, long, glittering eyes looked down at her with no emotion.
Tae Mu-jin. She had called him, but only animal-like groans came from Yiseo’s mouth, which was taped shut.
She might not have recognized him if it weren’t for the scar deeply indented in the middle of his cheek.
If Tae Mu-jin from Seoryeong had given off a raw, untamed vibe, the man in front of her was like a sharp, highly polished, black-edged sword.
With no expression, Tae Mu-jin poked her chin with the tip of his shiny shoe. He then used his foot to turn her swollen cheek to the other side.
“Ugh… ugh.”
Pain covered her face and made it contort. After checking her uninjured cheek, Tae Mu-jin said in a low voice.
“The face looks familiar.”
When Tae Mu-jin recognized Yiseo, the loan shark’s face turned dark. He hurriedly tried to cut the ropes tying Yiseo’s arms and legs, but Tae Mu-jin stopped him with a gesture.
“If you had said you knew Director Tae from the beginning! I would have been careful. If you just let us go, we’ll even give up the principal amount entirely!”
“How much is the debt?”
“Huh?”
“You have to get all the money you lent back; how can you give up? So, how much is the debt these two have?”
At Tae Mu-jin’s words, Yiseo’s shoulders trembled. He skimmed over the certificate of payment agreement that the loan shark had offered and gestured to his subordinate.
“We will take over this debt. Give it to him now.”
The subordinate quickly left the basement and immediately returned with a matte black briefcase. He held it out to the loan shark and, with a click, opened it to reveal it was full of old 50,000-won bills with different serial numbers.
“If you’ll do that! We’d be so grateful.”
“Instead.”
Tae Mu-jin said as he folded the certificate of payment agreement twice and put it in his inner jacket pocket.
“I’ll get a separate price for damaging the merchandise.”
“…Huh? Damaging?”
“I will collect this debt down to the last penny. So I have to sell it for as much as possible, but it’s already been damaged in places like this.”
“Ugh… ugh…”
Tae Mu-jin pressed her swollen cheek firmly with his shoe. The inside of her cheek ruptured again, and the gush of blood made Yiseo feel dizzy.
“W-we just slapped her face a couple of times to scare her a little! As you can see, it’s just a little bruised, and it will go back to normal in a week, no, a few days!”
While the loan shark was frantically making excuses, Tae Mu-jin quickly scanned his surroundings. When he saw the sashimi knife they were going to use to cut Yihwan’s finger, he casually picked it up. He shook it a couple of times to check the grip and then brought the tip of the knife to the corner of the loan shark’s mouth, who was talking so diligently.
“D-director… Tae… ugh!!!”
The tip of the knife lightly drew a line. The red flesh from the corner of the loan shark’s lips to his ear split open like a blooming flower petal.
Ughhhhhhh! The loan shark clutched his face and writhed on the ground. Tae Mu-jin slowly walked over to the loan shark’s group. When the group tried to run away and rushed toward the basement entrance, they were blocked by the subordinates Tae Mu-jin had brought with him. In an instant, the basement became a scene of pandemonium.
“Ugh… ugh… ugh!!”
Blood drops splattered on her face like hot oil, and Yiseo squeezed her eyes shut. After a moment, everything became quiet, and the sound of footsteps approaching echoed in her eardrums as if a megaphone was being held up to them. The duct tape was ripped off with a Zzzit sound. Yiseo barely opened her eyes at the pain, which felt like her flesh was being torn off.
“Tae, Tae… Mu-jin!!”
She had run away for 11 years, but she had never forgotten the black pupils that were looking down at her and smiling, not even in her dreams.
.. *. *. *. *.
When she opened her eyes again, it was dark all around her.
Yiseo’s face turned red as she tried to get up. Instead of her own clothes, she was wearing only a shower robe. There was no trace of blood, and judging by the faint scent, someone must have washed her.
She fumbled and turned on the light, and the wide room only contained the bed she was lying on, a living room sofa and table, and a bookshelf that filled an entire wall. Yiseo’s anxious gaze sweeping the room stopped at the worn-out spine of a book.
It was a book she had once fallen asleep reading in a room with an excessively warm floor. Could this be Tae Mu-jin’s house? Her hand, which was about to pull back the blackout curtain to check the outside, stopped for a moment.
Outside the window, a wide garden spread out.
Yiseo tightened the front of the robe and opened the glass door that connected to the window. The well-kept grass felt prickly on her bare feet. It was dark since it was night, but the garden was so big that it couldn’t be taken in with a single glance. Ornamental trees flaunted their shapes throughout the wide lawn, and a blue-lit swimming pool and marble sculptures. And… her feet, which had been walking on the grass, stopped.
There was a glass railing at the edge of the garden. As she got closer to the railing, a fishy smell wafted up to her nose. Her licked lips tasted salty. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw a huge black wave of water beyond the glass railing.
Only then did she realize that the garden she was standing on was not on the ground but on top of a high-rise building. In front of the power of capital that brought together things that couldn’t be together—a high-rise building of an unimaginable height, a massive garden floating in the air, and the sea—Yiseo was momentarily entranced.
The fishy sea scent was mixed with a familiar smell of cigarettes.
“Yoon Yiseo.”
The sense of déjà vu from the languid voice rose like goosebumps along her spine, and Yiseo turned around. The past, which she had tried so hard to escape, came crashing down on her like a tsunami, in the form of his black, wave-like gaze. The cigarette he had in his mouth burned down, briefly illuminating his sharp face before falling to the ground. A smell she had never once forgotten. She felt a momentary illusion that she had gone back 11 years.
“Tae Mu-jin… I, I…”
The words she couldn’t utter from her agape mouth lingered in the dark air. What was she supposed to say to him after facing him for the first time in 11 years?
Tears came before words. She had changed her name countless times, changed jobs and moved whenever she accidentally ran into someone who recognized her. She had run away from him all this time, meticulously erasing her past.
“Mu-jin, I’m sorry…”
Pitifully, she finally said those words.
They say that criminals always return to the scene of the crime, but she wasn’t one of them. On the night when the impulse to find out what terrible crime she had committed struck her heart like a lightning bolt, she would jump up and pack her bags instead. She would abruptly wake up Yihwan, who was sleeping, and they would flee to a place even farther away from Seoryeong. She couldn’t go back. The fear, greater than the guilt, would overwhelm Yiseo when she thought of Seoryeong on that day she was turned into a beast, lying naked on the floor.
Despite that, her heart would ache with a squeezing pain whenever she saw a large male student in a uniform similar to the one at Seosang High School. Looking back now, he was just her age. He was just a boy who had just turned twenty. The boy who had been pushed up by her and had fallen into the pit himself. If she looked back, she felt like she would see his face and hands, which had been torn to shreds by her own shoes as she struggled.
Even so, on that day she had turned into a beast, her inhumane mouth called his name again.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… Tae Mu-jin… Mu-jin, I’m sorry… ugh…”
Once the words had erupted, they gushed out like a floodgate, unconcerned with shame. But when Yiseo looked up at Tae Mu-jin’s face with teary eyes, it was as dry as a desert. Tae Mu-jin brushed his hair back and asked,
“I don’t quite understand what you’re sorry for.”
“T-that I ran away like that and then… and then came back to you for help…”
Help? Tae Mu-jin tilted his head slightly.
“I don’t recall ever saying I would help you.”
“Of course!… I’ll pay it all back somehow. I just can’t ask for your help again…”
“Help, Yiseo,” Tae Mu-jin said, a low laugh escaping him.
“No, wait, is it Choi Yujin now? Ms. Choi Yujin, you seem to be greatly mistaken about something.”
Tae Mu-jin pulled out a document and scanned it. It was the certificate of payment agreement he had received from the loan shark. The document bore Yihwan’s signature and Yiseo’s seal, which she didn’t know when he had stolen. Only then did the existence of her brother come back to her.
“Yihwan… what happened to him?”
“It took you long enough to ask.”
Tae Mu-jin answered, the corner of his mouth twitching.
“You won’t be able to see him for a while. I put him on a boat and sent him somewhere far away. After a few years of backbreaking work, he might be able to pay off the interest. Why, do you miss him?”
Yiseo quickly shook her head. She thought it was for the best. She wondered if manual labor would suit his personality, which was always looking for a big score, but it was better than having all his fingers cut off. Better if he never came back at all… As Yiseo was lost in thought, Tae Mu-jin flicked the certificate of payment agreement with his finger.
“You keep talking nonsense about helping, so I’ll be clear. The debt Yoon Yihwan couldn’t pay back is all on you now. You are still the debtor.”
“…I, I know. The debt… Yihwan and I will pay it back no matter what we have to do.”
Yeah, whatever you have to do. Tae Mu-jin muttered her words under his breath and took a large step closer. He tucked Yiseo’s hair behind her ear as the wind blew it around. Despite the gentle movement, an inexplicable chill wrapped around her entire body.
“I have a job. And if I get a part-time job on the weekends…”
A job? A part-time job? Tae Mu-jin twisted the corner of his lips.
“With a salary that barely goes over minimum wage, you’ll just keep piling up interest even if you pay it for the rest of your life.”
A flicker of anger crossed Yiseo’s face. Tae Mu-jin’s long eyes were curved as he looked down at Yiseo. It was a clear look of derision.
“This way is much faster.”
Tae Mu-jin’s hand casually touched the tie of her robe. In an instant, the cold air permeated her exposed skin like a knife.
“Ah!”
Tae Mu-jin carelessly tossed the silk robe into the air. The white robe slowly fell over the glass railing and into the black sea below.
A shock, like breaking through a thin layer of ice, swept through her body. She couldn’t even think to cover her rigid body. It was her first time being naked in front of a man, and she never thought she would be stripped bare in the open like this, as if she were a cardboard box being torn open.
In contrast, Tae Mu-jin calmly put a cigarette in his mouth, lit it, and inhaled the smoke while dryly scanning Yiseo’s body.
“No scars or tattoos, that’s good. A little too thin, but that’s a matter of taste. Turn around and lean against the railing.”
“Why… why are you… why are you doing this?”
Her stunned mind couldn’t understand the situation.
The man in front of her was not the man who had burst into her aunt’s house and stripped her naked, nor was he the loan shark who tried to cut off Yoon Yihwan’s fingers. This was Tae Mu-jin… why was Tae Mu-jin doing this?
But had Tae Mu-jin ever looked at her with eyes like this? The thought made Yiseo’s head spin. The look in the eyes of the Tae Mu-jin in Seoryeong had been desolate like a winter tree, but there had been a fiery warmth in them. The eyes of the man looking at her now, however, were as cold as a lifeless mineral.
“Why, Yoon Yiseo? It’s a problem if you still don’t know who your new creditor is.”
His mineral-like black eyes curved. Tae Mu-jin grabbed Yiseo’s waist and roughly spun her around.
“Ah!”
Her chest hit the railing. The cold glass made all the hairs on her body stand on end. As she struggled to get away, Tae Mu-jin’s hand roughly groped between her back, waist, and thighs.
“Ugh! What are you doing! Why are you doing this to me?!”
“Why am I doing this? Was what you said about paying it back no matter what you have to do just an empty promise?”
His long fingers entered the middle of Yiseo’s buttocks and vulgarly spread her labia apart.
“Ah!!”
The cold wind pierced her spread-apart hole like an ice pick. Yiseo let out a death-like moan and slumped to her knees. Tae Mu-jin gently ran his hand through Yiseo’s hair, tilting her head back. Her raised sight was blurred by the white smoke Tae Mu-jin exhaled.
“Get up, Yoon Yiseo. You have to pay off your debt.”
In the intensity of their reunion, she had momentarily forgotten. What she had called him back in Seoryeong.
‘I won’t sell anything to you. If you’re going to act like a pimp, go somewhere else.’
The words she had said to him flashed through her mind, and her frozen body finally registered the cold and began to tremble.
.. *. *. *. *.
She was caught and dragged back into the room by Tae Mu-jin. He sat down on the sofa, leaning his back deep into it, and made Yiseo kneel between his legs.
“Do the basics first.”
When Tae Mu-jin ordered her to perform oral sex, Yiseo was so stunned it was as if she had been struck in the back of the head. She looked up at him with blank eyes, and Tae Mu-jin, with his arms crossed, was looking down at her emotionlessly.
“…I, I can’t do that. I’ve never done that before.”
Yiseo’s mind was a mess from all the confusion. It was completely incomprehensible. This was Tae Mu-jin, of all people.
“After I ran away from Seoryeong… I didn’t meet anyone. I couldn’t meet anyone.”
She hadn’t known enough men to be treated like this. There had been men she had casually passed by, but Yiseo had instinctively backed away just before their relationships could develop.
So, Yiseo wanted to inform him of this, however pitifully. She wanted him to know. That there had been no man but him. No one but him.
Yiseo desperately gazed into Tae Mu-jin’s black pupils, searching for even the slightest change. But Tae Mu-jin just ran his hand over his chin and clicked his tongue.
“It’s been a long time, so I must have forgotten. Yoon Yiseo, the kind of person who is quick to calculate and a snob.”
“…What?”
Tae Mu-jin gently took hold of Yiseo’s blinking cheek and said,
“You’re just making a huge deal out of wanting to make a deal. You’re saying that since it’s your first time, you want to sell it at a high price.”
“…What?”
Tae Mu-jin lightly tapped Yiseo’s contorted cheek and smirked.
“You seem to be unaware of the market price for this kind of thing, but I’m not going to pay a high price for you now, let alone if you were a twenty-year-old virgin. Well, there are clients with unique tastes, so if you want, I can set up an appointment for you.”
“Tae Mu-jin!”
“But you won’t just be experiencing one dick for your first time. We’d be paying a high price to put various things in your first hole.”
At Tae Mu-jin’s words, Yiseo let out a sudden gasp. Tae Mu-jin put his finger in Yiseo’s mouth, which was taking short, shallow breaths. Her mind was as jumbled as her mouth was as he swished his finger around. Pulling out his saliva-covered finger, he licked it and said,
“Of course, I don’t have that kind of taste. But that doesn’t mean I plan to pay a high price. First times are just bothersome.”
Yiseo’s body swayed at Tae Mu-jin’s sneer. The expectations she had precariously built up in a corner of her heart collapsed.
Everything had changed from 11 years ago.
Just as she was no longer a girl who dreamed of being a concert pianist. Just as there was a difference between the small room in Seoryeong and a high-rise building with a huge garden. Everything had changed, so why did she think the Tae Mu-jin from Seoryeong would be the same?
“You choose what you want. What’ll it be? Should I make a reservation for you?”
His soft tone and cruel words made Yiseo’s hand go up to Tae Mu-jin’s belt.
With trembling hands, she unbuckled the belt. She unbuttoned his pants and lowered the zipper, but the zipper stopped midway and wouldn’t go down. When she tugged it hard, a short laugh was heard. Swallowing her shame, she pulled the zipper all the way down. And when she saw the neutral-colored brief, she stopped for a moment. Her breath hitched at the huge shape bulging through the brief.
“From the way you’re acting, it seems this is the first time you’ve used your mouth too.”
She looked up with a flushed face, and Tae Mu-jin chuckled, patting her cheek with the back of his hand. Yiseo bit her lip and pulled the brief down. His cock sprang out. For a moment, her breath stopped, and she swallowed hard.
It was her first time seeing a man’s cock in real life, but… this size didn’t seem normal. The dark red column was huge, big enough to hold with both hands, and ominous veins coiled around it like snakes. The head looked like a child’s fist. Could she even fit that in her mouth?
Yiseo grabbed the column with a trembling hand and carefully put it in her mouth. As expected, her breath hitched even with just the head barely in her mouth. She tried to move her jaw in that state, but she could only awkwardly suck on it. She even scraped it with her teeth because she couldn’t do it properly, but Tae Mu-jin had no reaction.
“Haa… ha…”
When she spat it out, saliva stretched between her lips and the head of his cock like a spider web. When she licked her wet lips, the sticky white string broke. I can’t do this anymore… Breathing heavily, she looked up. Tae Mu-jin’s face was cold and dry like a plaster cast, showing no signs of arousal. Yoon Yiseo, the sound of him calling her name made her shoulders flinch.
“If this is all you can do, it’s no different than minimum wage. I could suck on this all night and I wouldn’t even be close to coming once.”
“I told you… this is my first time… ugh, ugh!!!”
A cock suddenly filled her mouth. As she tried to turn her head away, suffocating, Tae Mu-jin’s hand grabbed the back of her head and held it steady. The cock was rammed in like a stake, and she couldn’t move her tongue or jaw. All she could do was open her mouth as wide as possible. In that state, Tae Mu-jin began to thrust his hips.
“Khuh… ugh…”
It felt not like flesh but like a metal rod going in and out. Every time Tae Mu-jin pistoned, her throat choked and she gasped for breath. His large scrotum hit her chin, which was swollen from being hit by the loan shark, making it throb. Unable to bear it any longer, she violently spat out the cock as if she were throwing up. Saliva mixed with pre-cum drooled down her chin. Tae Mu-jin clicked his tongue as he watched her coughing towards the floor.
“I was going to just come in your mouth since it was your first time. But you’re no good.”
The next moment, Yiseo’s body was lifted and thrown onto the bed. Her mind shook uncontrollably with the swaying mattress.
“Lie on your stomach and raise your hips.”
“W-what do you mean!”
Tae Mu-jin grabbed Yiseo’s waist and flipped her over. He pressed down on her back, lowering her upper body. Then, he grabbed her pelvis and lifted it, and she finally understood the position Tae Mu-jin was talking about. She was on her stomach on the bed, with her butt and genitals raised high toward Tae Mu-jin, just like a dog.
Her thighs trembled with shame. Tae Mu-jin grabbed Yiseo’s butt with both hands and spread it wide. Squelch, the sound of her inner flesh being pulled apart was unnervingly loud. A cold sensation seeped into her exposed opening. Before she could collect herself, a finger slid right in.
“Ah!”
At the sensation she had never felt before, Yiseo collapsed. But in an instant, Tae Mu-jin’s hand pulled her waist back to its original position. He propped her waist up with one hand and began to rub his finger between her labia.
“Ah…! Ugh… haah…”
Her fingers and toes curled at the strange sensation. Tae Mu-jin’s finger moved back and forth between the folds of her exposed flesh, rubbing them together, until at some point he grabbed her entire vulva tightly.
“Ungh!”
A tingling feeling, like an electric current, made Yiseo’s butt clench. At the same time, she felt moisture running down her thighs. Tae Mu-jin continued to knead her vulva until he pressed down hard with his palm and gave it a shake. The sound of wet flesh rubbing against each other flowed obscenely.
“Ah! Aah!”
At some point, a finger plunged into her vaginal opening. Yiseo gripped the sheet tightly. The long, thick finger stirred inside her vagina, rubbing against the inner walls.
It was such a strange feeling. A part of her body she had never been aware of was being forced to acknowledge its existence by someone else’s hand.
It felt like her insides were being touched. Like a vicious beast had ripped her belly open and was exposing her guts. The finger now fearlessly pushed in, exploring every part of her body as if it were its own territory. It scratched the vaginal wall and pressed down on a specific corner, spinning in circles.
“Haah, ha… ugh…”
Yiseo buried her face in the blanket, waiting for the unidentified sensation to pass.
And then, at some point, a finger brushed past one spot, and her hips sprang up like she had been electrocuted.
“Aah-hng!”
Her body trembled from the goosebumps that ran up her spine. Fortunately, Tae Mu-jin’s finger was pulled out of her vulva. She was sighing with relief, her thighs shaking, when two fingers plunged into her vagina. As soon as they entered, they immediately jabbed the spot that had just been stimulated.
“Aah-uung!!”
A strange pleasure swept through her body. Unable to bear it, Yiseo crawled forward. Tae Mu-jin’s hand, which was plunged in her vagina, followed her. Yiseo clung to the headboard, unable to endure the intense sensation. She tried to rub her thighs together, but that only ended up tightening her vagina around Tae Mu-jin’s hand. In that position, Tae Mu-jin rapidly thrust his fingers.
“Ah, aah! S-stop! Tae, Mu-jin! I can’t, I can’t handle this! Ha-ung!”
At that moment, she felt like her pelvis was being ripped out. Her vaginal opening, which had spewed out a large amount of fluid, trembled. Her thighs were completely wet, and a puddle of fluid formed on the white sheet. Only then did Tae Mu-jin pull his fingers out and flick them into the air. The cum that drenched his hand dripped to the floor.
Yiseo leaned against the headboard, breathing roughly. A lingering sensation still lingered, circulating through her body like blood. Her vaginal muscles quivered from the initial stimulation.
She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for this strange sensation to pass, but Tae Mu-jin’s hand grabbed her waist. She looked back at him with a pale face, and Tae Mu-jin clicked his tongue as he brushed her disheveled hair away from her face. His hand was glistening with her fluid all the way up to his elbow.
“At this rate, I’m not sure who should be paying who.”
“Ugh… I want to stop now… I can’t do this anymore.”
“Haah, Yoon Yiseo. We haven’t even put a dick in yet, and you want to stop. This is just the beginning.”
“How, how is this…”
Yiseo wanted to ask how this was sex.
It was completely different from what Yiseo had imagined. It was shattering her every thought. This was an act solely for stimulation.
Although Yiseo’s understanding of sex had stopped in high school, this wasn’t it. She had held hands or had light kisses with the men she had casually passed by, but she had always stopped herself from going any further because Tae Mu-jin always came to her mind. And that same Tae Mu-jin sneered and pulled Yiseo off the headboard in one swift motion.
“I told you that glaring at me like that just stimulates this bastard. I’m being considerate of our past, not fucking you right away, but just warming you up.”
“Aaaaaah!!”
Tae Mu-jin lightly lifted Yiseo’s lower body and placed it on his thigh as he sat on the bed. Her body was bent over like a child being spanked, with only her butt on Tae Mu-jin’s thighs. When she tried to twist her body, Tae Mu-jin pressed down on her back to restrain her. And then, he mercilessly plunged three fingers inside her.
“Aah! Huh, ugh… ugh!!”
The sound of her flesh sticking to Tae Mu-jin’s fingers and Yiseo’s moans filled the room.
“Aah-uung!!”
The fingers buried deep inside her vagina pressed on her pleasure spot and began to shake it. A strong stimulation, enough to make her pelvis numb, came over her. She tried to twist her body to get away, but with Tae Mu-jin pressing down on her back, she couldn’t move. Only her feet flailed, wildly pushing against the bedsheet. A pleasure that felt like pain swept through her entire body, and her teeth chattered uncontrollably. She didn’t know how many times this had happened already.
Tae Mu-jin kept poking, rubbing, twisting, and shaking her pleasure spot. The climax kept coming. Like a floodgate that opens automatically at the push of a button. When she was about to go limp from the excessive stimulation, Tae Mu-jin would push her pubic hair aside with his thumb and find the small, clitoris-like piece of flesh. He pressed his thumb against her clitoris and rubbed it hard.
“Aah-uung!! Ungh, ungh!!”
With his fingers shoving her vagina and her clitoris spinning around, Yiseo couldn’t bear it and flailed on her stomach. His brutal hand relentlessly stimulated her vulva.
This was not sex. It was an act of milking pleasure from her like she was a domesticated cow.
Click, a strange sound made Yiseo barely lift her face from where it was buried. She looked back. Unlike herself, who was covered in sweat and fluid, Tae Mu-jin, who was still perfectly dressed, looked cold. While his right hand was plunged into Yiseo’s vagina and shaking her, his left hand was holding a lit cigarette.
He mechanically moved his hand, which was in Yiseo’s butt, and brought the cigarette in his other hand to his lips. He inhaled deeply and exhaled white smoke into the air. The sight of it was unbearable for Yiseo. But contrary to her feelings, another climax came, and she gushed out a flood of fluid.
Tae Mu-jin’s gaze as he watched her vagina gurgling and spewing out thick liquid was as bored and indifferent as watching a movie played on repeat on TV. In the end, Yiseo started crying.
“Ugh… ugh, aah…”
“You’re coming from two holes… which one do you want me to fuck?”
Suddenly, his fingers were pulled out of her vagina. Her vagina, which had been suffering from climax, was unable to adapt to the sudden absence of the intruder and twitched against the cold air. And then, in Tae Mu-jin’s hands, her world suddenly turned upside down.
Tae Mu-jin spread Yiseo’s upward-facing legs wide apart. After numerous orgasms, she had no strength left to close her thighs. Tae Mu-jin stuck the short filter into an ashtray and took out a condom from the nightstand beside the bed. Just as Yiseo had attempted an awkward oral sex, he unzipped his pants and took out his huge cock. With his clothes still neat, his cock exposed looked like a weapon. The size of his cock surprised her anew. The thought of that size entering her made her vagina tremble uncontrollably with fear. He put a condom on, with his cock erect up to his navel, and climbed on top of Yiseo. As if to check, he lightly put his finger in her vulva, and her now-familiar vaginal muscles greedily bit down on his finger. Tae Mu-jin let out a short laugh. Yiseo turned her head to the side, ashamed of her body’s reaction, which was independent of her will.
“Since you’re this wide open, you probably won’t tear.”
With those words, the head of his cock plunged into her vaginal opening in one go. Aah, aah! Aah! Her mouth opened involuntarily.
It felt like she was being crushed by a huge wall, not a cock. It felt as if she was going to be flattened to death as the gigantic wall relentlessly pushed its way in.
“Aah! No, no, st-stop!”
Yiseo wildly scratched and clawed at Tae Mu-jin’s chest. The buttons on his shirt were torn off, and she clawed at his exposed chest with her nails. Red scratches were drawn all over, but his cock continued to push its way in, undeterred.
Thump, she felt a sensation of him hitting her cervix. Huh, huugh, Yiseo took short breaths and lifted her upper body to look down. She fell back down in despair. The part where she was being penetrated felt like it was going to burst, but more than half of the root of his cock was visible. For the first time today, Tae Mu-jin’s face was slightly crumpled.
“It’s too tight. I won’t be able to put it all the way in today.”
His cock slowly started to pull out. It kept pulling out endlessly. It felt like a snake was leaving, not a cock. And then, the moment the tip of the glans reached her vaginal opening, he thrust up in one go.
“Aah-ht!!!”
Her spine trembled as if she had been pierced by a harpoon. The pain and pleasure were incomparable to his fingers. Ugh, ugh, strange moans flowed out ceaselessly.
Tae Mu-jin brought Yiseo’s legs together, hugged them against his chest, and began to thrust his hips. Just like with his fingers, he moved as if stirring inside her tight vagina, searching for her weak spots. The spot that had been stimulated earlier responded easily. After only a few thrusts of his hips, the pressure, which had felt like pain, gradually receded. And in its place, pleasure began to fill the void. When the tip of his cock scratched the spot that responded, Yiseo’s stomach caved in and trembled. Tae Mu-jin hit that spot like he was hammering it in, Thwack!! he thrust his hips hard. Yiseo’s body leaped up as if she had been electrocuted. Tae Mu-jin began to thrust his hips quickly.
“Aah!! Hah, aah!! Tae, Mu-jin, aah, st-stop!!”
Yiseo’s body thrashed like a fish on a harpoon. She grabbed the sheet, tearing it to pieces. It felt like lightning was striking her from below. Her entire body tingled, and every joint of her bones curled up on their own.
“Ugh… ugh!! …Ugh…”
Tears streamed down with her moans. Through her blurry vision, she could see Tae Mu-jin. Yiseo raised her hand toward him.
Tae Mu-jin widely spread Yiseo’s feet, which were gathered against his chest, and put them on his shoulders. Her hips were lifted, and the penetration became deeper, bringing Tae Mu-jin’s face closer.
Looking at his face, which she was finally seeing up close, Yiseo sobbed and called his name.
“A, ugh, Tae Mu-jin… hoot!”
Looking at Tae Mu-jin’s face up close, she saw the boy from 11 years ago superimposed on it. She saw his face as he waited for her at the end of a dark alley. She saw his profile when he smiled slightly while giving her a ride on his bike, and his dark, deep eyes that would look at her after a long kiss, their noses touching.
“Aah-ung! Ugh… hoot, haah…”
Yiseo, shaking from Tae Mu-jin’s thrusts, reached out her hand. If she could just hug Tae Mu-jin’s neck, wrap her arms around his back, and kiss him… then she felt like she could endure this extreme pleasure, which felt like pain, pouring out of her.
But what came next was a white blackout. It wasn’t Tae Mu-jin, but a corner of the sheet he had thrown over her face.
“I don’t have a taste for you coming from your mouth, let alone your pussy. If I keep watching that, I won’t be able to come even if I fuck you all night, so don’t touch it and just cover it up.”
“Aah… aah…”
The moans from Yiseo’s open mouth subsided. The tears streaming from her eyes stopped as if a faucet had been turned off. All the muscles in her body, which had been trembling, went completely limp and sank onto the bed. Indifferently, Tae Mu-jin grabbed Yiseo’s limp ankles, spread them as wide as possible, and continued to mechanically thrust.
Pleasure still poured through her entire body. A climax that felt like fainting came, but it was a sensation detached from her. It felt like something had been cut off.
Yiseo clutched the sheet covering her face. Whoo, whoo, every time she exhaled, her own hot breath came back to her face. It felt like she was being slapped. It was better not to see. It was better not to face Tae Mu-jin, who didn’t see her as anything more than an object for his release.
Her body, which had been shaking violently, convulsed as if electrocuted. An orgasm, like a small death, came over her like a tsunami. Yiseo wanted to lose consciousness, but the stimulation that came again wouldn’t allow it. Tae Mu-jin’s pelvis slammed into her butt as if to grind it. Thump! Thump!! Thump!! he slammed into her as if to ram her into the ground. At some point, even with a condom on, she felt a warm sensation spreading inside her vagina. The gigantic column that had killed Yiseo countless times was pulled out. And then, immediately, the sound of a new condom package being torn was heard. Just as he had said, the night had only just begun.
.. *. *. *. *.
When she came to, the area in front of her eyes was white. Realizing that she had a sheet over her face, Yiseo raised her hand and pushed it away. She tried to get up but fell back down from the throbbing pain throughout her body. In the short time she moved, her vulva, swollen like a small water balloon, was stinging.
The room was cool, and the fine hairs on her uncovered body stood on end. Yiseo crumpled under the sheet and curled up like a fetus.
A bundle of tissues Tae Mu-jin had thrown away was visible on the nightstand. There were flecks of red blood on the tissue, which was yellow from bodily fluids. And… Tae Mu-jin was nowhere to be seen. He had thrown her away and left, just like the bundle of tissues he had used to wipe himself.
“Ugh… ugh… ugh…”
It felt as though she had run out of fluids to shed, yet tears still flowed freely.
She had been tormented all night with sex that was nothing but pleasure and release. The only contact was his cock; there was no other physical intimacy. Yiseo curled up like the tissue ball and closed her wet eyes.
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