FY - 51

As the sun rose, Si Wen drove Zhou Yan home. After she picked up Zhou Siyuan, he drove them to school.

Just like that, Zhou Yan was once again known in certain social circles as Si Wen’s woman. It was as if the drama of the last two months never happened, and the gossipy people of Qizhou stopped commenting on the love-hate relationship between Si Wen and the prostitute.

At the school gate, Zhou Siyuan sent Zhou Yan away with the excuse of buying notebooks and said to Si Wen, “She’s planted you again.”

Si Wen let out a soft breath through his nose, a hint of a smile. “She’s disinfected me.”

Zhou Siyuan was easily convinced and nodded, but then he had another question. “If the poisonous plant isn’t poisonous, then what kind of plant is it?”

Si Wen’s eyes followed Zhou Yan’s figure as she entered the convenience store. “A life-saving plant.”

Zhou Siyuan quite liked the name of this plant. “Can you save her life?”

Si Wen squatted down and clenched his fist, placing it in front of him.

Zhou Siyuan slowly pressed his small, bun-like fist against it.

Si Wen said, “I promise you. I will protect her just as she protects you.”

Zhou Siyuan sniffled. He wasn’t crying, but his eyes looked sad. “Sister has protected me too well, and I’m too young.”

Si Wen tentatively reached out his hand to him. He hesitated a few times before finally placing it on the back of his head and stroking it twice. “Let me do it.”

Zhou Siyuan looked up at him. Although he knew he was tall, this was the first time he felt he was a giant.

He didn’t seem to know how to interact with children. His hand on his head was sometimes light and sometimes heavy, but that didn’t stop Zhou Siyuan from feeling his love for him, which extended to his sister.

When Zhou Yan came out, the two had returned to their “we don’t know each other” state.

After dropping Zhou Siyuan off at school, Zhou Yan watched him walk through the gate. Before he went in, she called out to him again. “Siyuan.”

Zhou Siyuan turned around, his little legs pressed together. “Huh?”

Zhou Yan ran over, squatted down, and hugged him tightly. “Sister loves you.”

Zhou Siyuan’s sadness became more apparent, but he still hugged Zhou Yan back. “I know, and I accept it all.”

Zhou Yan didn’t lie to him. “Guo Xiaolei wanted to follow his dad, but he could only follow his mom. If he insisted on returning to his dad, he would become a child without a home. He had to stay and wait until he was old enough not to need a big tree to lean on before he could decide where to go.”

“Some compromises are unavoidable. This is a lesson we must learn as we grow up.”

Zhou Siyuan clenched his little fists.

Zhou Yan kept her head up, trying to stop her tears from falling.

The bell for class rang, and Zhou Siyuan hurried back to school. As he turned, he just said one thing. “I’m going to be late.”

Zhou Yan stayed crouched where she was, not getting up until no more children entered the gate.

Si Wen probably guessed what Zhou Yan was about to do. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into his arms. “Did I make you feel wronged?”

Zhou Yan immediately snapped out of her sadness, her brows furrowed. “What are you talking about? Are they the same thing?”

As she spoke, she struggled in Si Wen’s arms a few times.

Si Wen didn’t let go. He just held her, right there at the school gate.

Zhou Yan couldn’t break free. She looked left and right, then looked up at him. “What are you doing?”

Si Wen kissed her forehead, a very light kiss, but he lingered for a long time.

Zhou Yan didn’t react at first. Then she looked around. “There are people here!”

Si Wen asked her, “Feeling a little better?”

Zhou Yan was stunned.

He... he was trying to distract her?

Si Wen was still looking at her. She told him the truth. “Your method is a bit old-fashioned.”

Si Wen turned and walked away.

Zhou Yan smiled, chased after him, and took his arm. “Okay, I’m sorry. I have a big mouth.”

She wouldn’t tell him that she really had been distracted, that his method was effective, and that it wasn’t old-fashioned at all.

She just liked it when Si Wen was less polished. It made her happy.

Once they were in the car, the warm air blew on her, and Zhou Yan realized she was thirsty. She had said too much just now.

Si Wen drove onto the main road and asked her, “Where to?”

Zhou Yan didn’t hear him. She was thinking about what to drink and hadn’t buckled her seatbelt. The car’s warning sound kept beeping.

Si Wen saw that she was spacing out. He pulled the car over, leaned over, and buckled her seatbelt for her.

Zhou Yan looked up and saw Si Wen’s face up close. “What are you doing?”

Si Wen’s brows were furrowed as he buckled her in. “What are you thinking about?”

Zhou Yan told him, “I’m thirsty.”

Si Wen drove to a nearby coffee shop.

Zhou Yan got out and bought two coffees. Si Wen’s was a pure, bitter black coffee that he liked. Her own was a latte with double milk and double sugar, which looked sickly sweet.

When she got back in the car, she took a sip and looked at Si Wen.

Si Wen hadn’t taken a sip yet, but he understood from her look and swapped cups with her.

Zhou Yan took a sip of his and struggled to swallow it. It was like a bitter herb. It was so bitter. She gave it back to him.

When Si Wen drank it, he made it seem like it wasn’t bitter at all.

He asked her again, “Where to?”

Zhou Yan took the straw out of her mouth. “Don’t you have anything to do today?”

Si Wen: “I can drive you.”

Zhou Yan navigated to a location on her phone. “Then I’ll go here.”

Si Wen didn’t ask where it was and started driving.

It was the Shangyan Villa District on East Fourth Ring Road, with small bridges and flowing water, a prime choice for scholarly families.

Zhou Yan unbuckled her seatbelt. “I won’t be long.”

Si Wen didn’t care how long it took. “I’ll wait for you.”

Zhou Yan picked up his empty cup, leaned in, and kissed his lips. “I’m leaving.”

Si Wen grabbed her arm. “That’s it?”

Zhou Yan raised an eyebrow. “What else do you want?”

Si Wen closed his car door, reclined the passenger seat, and leaned over to her, sucking on her lips.

Zhou Yan involuntarily let out a small, inaudible moan.

This sound made Si Wen even more excited. He put his hand inside her skirt, pulled off her leggings, and unbuckled his pants at the same time.

Zhou Yan’s leggings were half off, and the warm air blew directly on her. Her little garden, which had been ravaged by him last night and this morning, was still swollen. It didn’t hurt if she didn’t touch it, but it was painful as soon as she did. Si Wen clearly didn’t care about that and put his hand to her mouth.

Zhou Yan was about to say it hurt, but when his member brushed against her, a tingling sensation spread throughout her body. She just stuck out her tongue and licked his fingers.

Si Wen wiped her saliva on the entrance to her and thrust in.

Zhou Yan screamed. “So thick! No! So hard! Ugh, not that either! So long! Fuck! What the hell is that thing of yours!”

Regardless of how good the car’s soundproofing was, Zhou Yan’s mouth didn’t stop moving throughout the entire process. When it hurt, she would cry and curse at him. When it felt good, she would grab his arm and meet his thrusts, telling him to go faster.

They tried so many positions, all the ones they hadn’t tried in bed, they tried in this cramped space.

When they were done, it was two o’clock.

Zhou Yan went limp in Si Wen’s arms. “I came to do something important. You’ve delayed me so much.”

Si Wen helped her put on her leggings. “But you kept asking for more. Who’s to blame?”

Zhou Yan scoffed and got up from him, opening the car door and getting out. “I am. It’s all my fault for spoiling you.”

She was smart. She only said this after she got out of the car.

It would be difficult to drag her back in, so Si Wen let her go.

________________________________________

The person living in the Shangyan Villa District was Zhou Siyuan’s attending physician.

He and his wife had arranged to meet with Zhou Yan at noon. They planned to talk for a bit and then invite her to stay for lunch. When Zhou Yan and Si Wen were having sex, she sent the doctor a message saying she would be late and would arrive around two o’clock. It was exactly two o’clock now.

She didn’t want to stay for lunch, but she didn’t have a good excuse to decline beforehand, so she came up with the idea of having an impromptu matter to attend to, which was almost perfect.

The doctor and his wife saw Zhou Yan. After some small talk, they got to the point. “Have you really thought about it?”

Zhou Yan took a card from her bag and pushed it toward them. “I have.”

The doctor and his wife exchanged glances. They probably guessed what it was, but they still asked, “What is this?”

Zhou Yan lowered her eyes and smiled. “Three million two hundred and forty thousand yuan. All my money, except for what I’ve spent on Siyuan’s treatment, is all here.”

The doctor had initially thought Zhou Yan’s idea of having them adopt Zhou Siyuan was a spur-of-the-moment decision, but her actions seemed to have been a long time in the making. Even though asking too many questions might make her uncomfortable, he couldn’t help but ask, “Have you been planning this for a while?”

Zhou Yan was suddenly grateful to Si Wen. If he hadn’t comforted her, she might have broken down and cried after the doctor’s question.

After a long pause, she said, “I’m a prostitute. I don’t feel inferior, but not everyone in this world feels the same way. Siyuan has been dragged down by me too much. His adolescence, which is crucial for his character development, is coming up. I don’t want him to be criticized, and I don’t want things like school bullying to happen to him again. I have to give him a healthy environment.”

The doctor and his wife’s eyes were filled with sympathy. They were good people, the best kind.

What happened to Guo Xiaolei’s mother seemed to have happened just yesterday. As Zhou Siyuan grew up, this kind of thing would only increase. During the vulnerable age of adolescence, no matter how much Zhou Yan tried to protect him, there would always be times she was careless. If he was then hit by a cold wind and his little bit of strength was scattered, would she have really saved him after all her desperate efforts?

She could tell him that if he was the only one left in the world, he should still live a brilliant and proud life, but she couldn’t genuinely hope for that.

Zhou Siyuan was so well-behaved and sensible. He deserved to have more positive and lively friends like Guo Xiaolei, but if he stayed with her, it would be difficult.

She had felt sad for the doctor and his wife for losing their daughter. She knew they were interested in adopting a child from an orphanage, so she thought maybe she could have them adopt Zhou Siyuan. Of course, only if they were willing.

When the doctor heard Zhou Yan’s idea, he was overjoyed. He had been treating Zhou Siyuan’s illness for so many years and had long since developed feelings for the lovely child. Even if it wasn’t family love, they were willing to adopt him and raise him together.

Zhou Yan came here to talk to them about this, then explain it to Zhou Siyuan, and then go through the adoption procedures.

She admitted that she had ignored Zhou Siyuan’s feelings and whether he was willing, but she was absolutely unwilling to gamble with society.

This world had not left her with any good feelings. She had long lost hope in human nature. Zhou Siyuan wouldn’t have an easy time by her side. Even if she was willing to fight, the incidents that had happened had already warned her.

The doctor was also worried about this. “What if Siyuan doesn’t want to leave you?”

Zhou Yan shook her head. She thought Zhou Siyuan already knew. “He won’t say he doesn’t want to. He’ll just be sad in his heart.”

The doctor also felt sad. “That’s tough for him. And what about you?”

Zhou Yan said, “I brought him to my side, giving up a relatively smooth life. Everyone said I was misguided in my kindness, but only I knew that I was fighting against this fucked-up world.”

“I have to tell it that if the heavens want me to die, I’ll fight the heavens. If the earth wants me to perish, I’ll destroy the earth.”

“No matter how battered and bruised I am, I will live! I will prove that the right to survival does not depend on the environment you are born into!”

The doctor’s hair stood on end. He had never seen a woman, and such a young and thin one at that, with such unyielding courage buried in her heart. The aura of fortitude around her was rare even among many men.

Zhou Yan lowered her head a little, her voice also a little lower. “But fighting always comes with casualties. When I can no longer bear the cost, I have to compromise with the world. Because I have a weakness, and this world doesn’t.”

As she spoke, Zhou Yan’s face grew paler. She did love Zhou Siyuan. She couldn’t bear to let him go.

She stood up and bowed deeply to the doctor, not getting up even when the doctor and his wife came to help her. “I’m grateful for Siyuan’s luck in meeting you, and I’m grateful that you’re willing to adopt him. I, Zhou Yan, will always be thankful.”

The doctor helped her up again. “We should be thanking you. For giving us such a good Siyuan after we lost our daughter.”

After saying that, Zhou Yan stood up. “The reason I chose to do this now and not before is because I have someone else I want to protect. Aside from the negative impact I have on Siyuan, I also can’t balance the two of them.”

“If I focus on one, I’ll neglect the other. It’s better to let go and give Siyuan the best possible conditions.”

The doctor guessed that Zhou Yan had other reasons, but he didn’t think she would be so open about it. He was surprised by how generous she was and how she didn’t care about what others thought.

The doctor took the card and said to her, “I’ll take this money and not spend a single cent of it. When Siyuan grows up, I’ll tell him that he has to be an outstanding man because he has an outstanding sister.”

“Thank you,” Zhou Yan said again, from the bottom of her heart.

The doctor asked her again, “Then where are you going now?”

Zhou Yan shook her head. She didn’t know yet. She had to ask Si Wen. She would go wherever he went. “I haven’t thought about it yet, but there’s always a place to go.”

“Will you come back?” the doctor’s wife asked. Women generally hope that they are the most important woman in the heart of the child they raise.

Zhou Yan didn’t know.

But she said, “If I come back, I’ve come back. If I don’t, it means I’m dead.”