MY - 57

Before Chu Xingru passed away, she left Lu Nandu a sum of money.

Liang Sirong sighed. “Whether the original intention of her leaving this money was out of love for A’dou or something else, no one knows now.”

Jiang Xi finally spoke. “But this money she left, regardless of whether the original intention was good or bad, will only hurt Lu Nandu.”

Liang Sirong looked at her. A few seconds later, she said, “That’s what Xu Qingzhou said back then, too.”

For more than ten years after Lu Nandu was born, Chu Xingru hardly fulfilled her duties as a mother, yet after her death, she inexplicably left him a sum of money.

Was this a distorted maternal love or a retaliatory moral blackmail? No one knew.

Lu Nandu had spent over ten years confirming one thing: that his mother had no love for him at all.

But the fact he had confirmed over seventeen years, a fact as certain as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west, was shattered by a bank card, turning his world upside down.

The discord between the mother and son for over a decade had almost exhausted the minimal affection Lu Nandu had for his mother. If not for this bank card, Lu Nandu could have psychologically convinced himself that his mother’s death was not because of him, and that he might not have been so sad about her death, since Chu Xingru had never cared for him, her illegitimate son.

But when everything was irreversible, Lu Nandu realized that everything he had believed in the past seemed to be an illusion, and that the woman seemed to have loved him.

But the person was gone. No matter how much he asked, there would be no answer.

Chu Xingru was a manipulative woman. Living in the shadows, she was most skilled at exploiting people’s weaknesses. Whether this money was left behind to deliberately provoke Lu Nandu, making him feel guilty even after her death, or simply as a mother, leaving a little warmth for her child who had never been lucky since coming into this world.

No one knew any of this.

But regardless of Chu Xingru’s original intention, it caused an irreversible psychological trauma to Lu Nandu.

He couldn’t speculate about these things objectively like others.

Any hint of kindness from Chu Xingru would become the last straw that broke him.

The sun was getting hotter. A new pot of tea was placed next to Liang Sirong.

Lu Nandu still hadn’t come out of the house.

Liang Sirong’s gaze returned from the small Western-style building in front of her. She said, “His illness is a leftover from that time. He wanted to live like a normal person, not tormented by these things, but these are exactly the things a normal person can’t do.”

Hearing Lu Nandu’s story from someone else didn’t make the sadness any less.

Jiang Xi was silent.

Liang Sirong continued to speak unhurriedly. “He was depressed, in pain, and had nightmares almost every day.”

He resisted, struggled, and fought until his flesh was torn and his bones were exposed, but he still didn’t give up.

But in the end, his spine was gradually bent.

He was kneeling in a cage.

“The reason why an inner demon is called an inner demon is that it forces a person to do things against their will,” Liang Sirong said. “No matter how much he doesn’t want to, he will eventually be dominated.”

The lives and guilt weighed him down, leaving him breathless.

Sometimes, he would even become confused, and even when he was awake, he would think that he was the one who killed Chu Xingru.

He eventually became a puppet dominated by his inner demons.

He tried to repay everything he owed Chu Xingru, hoping to regain his detachment and peace of mind.

He wanted to live like a normal person.

All of this was unknown to Jiang Xi. Every word was exceptionally foreign to her.

And Lu Nandu had endured all of this alone.

Liang Sirong said, “I know A’dou never told you these things, but I want to tell you that he didn’t dislike you back then.”

“As for why he didn’t tell you,” Liang Sirong reached out and held her hand. “I’m sorry, child, it’s because he wasn’t brave enough.”

Jiang Xi had been very quiet. It felt as if her throat was choked up with something.

“He thought that because he wasn’t good enough, he would be tormented into that state. He didn’t dare to let you know about his illness,” Liang Sirong paused, and then continued as usual two seconds later. “You were the only one who was good to him back then. No one had ever been so good to him. He wasn’t sure if you would still want him after you knew about his illness. He didn’t dare to take that gamble.”

He was different from most children.

While other kids were playing with toy cars, his palms were covered in red welts from a whip.

When others were snuggling up to their parents and acting spoiled, he could only watch with longing eyes. If he did that at home, Chu Xingru would throw him out of the house.

Jiang Xi finally understood why Lu Nandu loved to act spoiled with her and was so clingy.

Many things that other children no longer did when they grew up, he was having a blast doing.

But Jiang Xi was so good to him, she indulged him and even liked him. He didn’t dare to let Jiang Xi see any of his flaws.

What if she didn’t want him anymore?

And hatred always lasts longer than a mild dislike. So he chose to make Jiang Xi hate him.

“In the last few months, he’s been staring at his phone for a long time. This kid isn’t good at hiding his emotions, so it was easy to tell that he liked a girl,” Liang Sirong smiled at her. “But I really didn’t expect that girl to be you. I didn’t expect that after all these years, you two would still end up together.”

Strictly speaking, they weren’t together yet.

But Jiang Xi didn’t deny what Liang Sirong said.

Ever since Lu Kaidong and Lu En’di passed away, the Lu family had become increasingly quiet. It was a little better when Lu Nandu was home. He was talkative and could make the house more lively.

But when he wasn’t home, the Lu family was like an empty museum.

Recently, Lu Nandu hadn’t been home and was here for treatment. Liang Sirong probably hadn’t talked to anyone for a long time, so she told Jiang Xi a lot.

Lu Nandu had been inside for a longer time today than he was yesterday.

Liang Sirong said to her, “This child has never not suffered since he was born, and he still managed to grow up so well.”

She smiled. “It’s a miracle, really.”

“It’s not that he isn’t strong. On the contrary, he’s very strong,” Liang Sirong said. “Otherwise, he wouldn’t have kept going until now. Someone else might not have been able to endure it.”

Jiang Xi hummed.

At least Lu Nandu was stronger than her. She had almost not been able to make it through back then.

“These things, he also agreed to let the psychiatrist tell me later on. He never brought them up himself.”

Jiang Xi, thinking of something, asked, “He’s seen psychiatrists all these years, but his condition hasn’t gotten any better?”

Liang Sirong told her truthfully, “He hasn’t seen a psychiatrist for more than two years.”

In other words, out of the eight years they were apart, he had been in a state of not being treated for six years.

Jiang Xi: “Not more than two years?”

Liang Sirong paused. “After En’di died, his grandfather took him abroad. At first, he was very good at getting treatment there.”

Jiang Xi listened quietly.

“Then he came back to the country one winter, and after that, he refused to get any more treatment.”

Jiang Xi frowned slightly.

“Young lady,” Liang Sirong suddenly called her. She asked, “Did you have a boyfriend back then?”

Jiang Xi was confused but still nodded. “I did have one later.”

Liang Sirong smiled. “See? He was caught and brought back by his maternal grandfather. I wasn’t there, but I heard his grandfather say a few things. It seems he went to look for you at that time.”

Jiang Xi suddenly remembered what Chen Lin had told her: that he had seen Lu Nandu.

Lu Nandu had gone to look for her.

“After he came back that time, he refused to see a psychiatrist again. He would get angry whenever Xu Qingzhou was mentioned. He said he wasn’t sick and didn’t need treatment, and that he could get better on his own,” Liang Sirong laughed. “This child’s ego was hurt.”

After all, from his perspective at the time, Jiang Xi no longer wanted him.

The other person was even someone with a high education, just like Jiang Xi, and he was physically and mentally healthy.

And he was a person who was told he had a mental illness by everyone.

He resisted this fact.

Jiang Xi was silent for a long time.

The door to the inner room was suddenly pushed open. Before they could even see Lu Nandu, they heard his voice.

“Big sister!”