CM - 78

Zhou Shu-rong looked at Shen Ting-wen’s swollen neck, but she didn’t feel sorry for him.

Shen Ting-wen pouted at her, “It hurts.”

Zhou Shu-rong slapped his arm, “Why didn’t it kill you?”

“Teacher hits so hard,” Shen Ting-wen said, sounding hurt.

“Then why didn’t he hit you dead?”

“Rongrong...”

“You deserve it, Shen Ting-wen,” Zhou Shu-rong said, angry. She wanted to kill him right now.

Shen Ting-wen was very wronged, “Rongrong...”

Zhou Shu-rong took a cold towel and applied it to his face and neck. “I never knew you were so capable. Your tattoos all have a story, huh?”

Shen Ting-wen pouted, “Be gentle.”

“Stop pretending. My mom told me what you’ve done. I really thought you were a useless bum, but you were just lying to me. You’re so capable, so what do you care who I am?” Zhou Shu-rong wanted to slap him.

Shen Ting-wen put his hand on her waist, “You never asked me, so I wasn’t exactly lying to you. It’s more of a concealment.”

“Do you think your concealment was right?”

“No.”

“Then stop talking nonsense.”

“Okay.”

Zhou Shu-rong put the towel down, pulled his arm, rolled up his sleeve, and touched the tattoo. As expected, she felt rough skin that was even a little scratchy. She then touched the new tattoo on his back, which was not much better than his arm.

She swallowed. She felt a lump in her throat, but it was her heart that was really hurting.

Her hand slowly slid down to his hand. She wanted to hold it, but she felt too angry to. As she hesitated, Shen Ting-wen took her hand firmly, without hesitation.

She looked up at his injured but still smiling face and couldn’t help but slap him.

Shen Ting-wen’s smile didn’t fade. “Are you still angry?”

Zhou Shu-rong was very angry, but she wasn’t being irrational. She avoided relationships because she couldn’t handle them. She avoided putting herself in a vulnerable position, so she had to run away.

And why should she have to agree to a relationship just because someone liked her? Just because he worked hard to get her? Even if Zhou Shu-rong had feelings for him, was she wrong for not wanting to be with him?

She would control herself if she could, and if she couldn’t, she would be with him. Everything was up to her.

Liking someone or being liked doesn’t mean you have to be with them just because they’re a good person, they really like you, or they worked hard to get you. That’s what onlookers think, not what the person being pursued thinks.

What is “right”? What is “supposed to be”? What’s right and what’s supposed to be is what she wants for herself. That’s the normal progression of a relationship.

Even if she was stubborn and avoided the truth sometimes, it didn’t mean she would be blind to it. She knew everything Shen Ting-wen had done, and she had to figure it all out. “Why did you help my dad?”

By now, Shen Ting-wen had no reason to hide anything. “I wanted to get close to you.”

“Didn’t you ever think that my dad would kill you if he found out your real motive?”

Shen Ting-wen asked her back, “Then give me another way to get close to you.”

Zhou Shu-rong couldn’t think of one. “So you were willing to risk your life just to get close to me?”

“If you want the honest truth, at first, I didn’t think that much. I was just curious when I first saw you at the parent-child summer camp. I wanted to figure out why you were different from everyone else. Later, the Teacher tested me, and I never lied. Who knew he misunderstood and thought I wanted to use you to mess with him. At the time, I didn’t understand why he would think that. It was only after I started helping him that I realized how many people were after him and that he had to be cautious.”

Shen Ting-wen wrapped his arm around Zhou Shu-rong’s waist and continued, “I proved to him through my actions that I wasn’t a threat, and he started training me. When the time was right, I started working for him.”

Zhou Shu-rong thought Shen Ting-wen was crazy. “If he told you to murder someone or commit arson, would you have done it too?”

Shen Ting-wen said, “I’m coveting his daughter, a crime worthy of death. So what if I have to murder someone or commit arson? Can’t I?”

Zhou Shu-rong took his hand off her, not letting him hug her.

Shen Ting-wen laughed, “You know the Teacher hasn’t done anything evil, so why are you asking me this? Yes, he has connections in both the underworld and the legitimate world, controlling several drug trafficking and arms dealing routes, but he sends evil people to hell and makes sure everyone under him is well-fed. You’d be wrong to say he’s a good person, but would you be right to say he’s a bad person? Even if I were to commit murder or arson, who isn’t doing that on the streets of the U.S.-Mexico border? How can you protect yourself in a chaotic world?”

Zhou Shu-rong was too passive from the moment she found out to this conversation with Shen Ting-wen. She was completely unprepared, unlike Shen Ting-wen. He was speaking as if he had rehearsed it many times just to explain things to her today.

He also said, “You killed people in Sudan, didn’t you?”

Zhou Shu-rong’s situation was different. “The civil war in Sudan was endless. My killing was unavoidable.”

“Then are these things avoidable in the drug and arms trade?”

Zhou Shu-rong felt he was trying to confuse her. “Don’t talk about that. What I’m saying is, you could have avoided being in that line of work if you hadn’t learned from my dad and helped him.”

“If I hadn’t been in the same boat as the Teacher, how could I have held you today?” As Shen Ting-wen spoke, he took her hand and kissed her palm. The playful smile on his face disappeared, and he said, “Rongrong, I knew this day would come, when we’d be completely honest with each other, for better or for worse. But I’m not afraid or resistant because I’ve always wanted to stand in the sun and tell you how much I love you.”