Sucko of the Year

SUCKO OF THE YEAR

Every year one character is chosen. One character that stands out about the rest. A character that is not know for his battle prowles, but his lack of. For this we award, the sucko of the year.

1995- Cindy Quickfoot- played by Raymomon Raymomon played this character for an entire year and beside stealing Rakteems bag of holding and getting rapped by a barbarian the character was known for doing absolutely nothing. She was a thief that never checked for traps or backstabbed. Only picked pockets once and usually stayed in the back and bowed.

1996- Arcanus Greycloak- played by Vegan Man Arcanus Greycloak was played by Vegan Man in the middle of the Psycho Gamers silver age. At first Vegan Man would come regularly, if not tardy. Then he became more and more tardy as time came on. The other characters levels soared into double digits and Arcanus to this day was stuck at 6th.

1997- Wrightner McCalmer- played by Raymomon This was originally a kinder who tried to sneak into a Dwarven bar by gluing hair on his face. He was thrown out of the bar and thought he was a dwarf. As sad as this origin are, it gets worse. Later, Wrightner was cursed with the ability to transfer from a Kinder thief to a Dwarven fighter. He was the same level of fighter as he was a thief. The character still sucked. Then the GM allowed Raymamon to change from kinder to dwarf at will. He still sucked. Then when Raymamon complained that Wrightner still sucked, the GM "cursed"; Wrightner to have chains like Scorpion on mortal combat to come from his palms. The rest of the group was outraged and the powers were taken away. Raymamon complained that Wrightner sucked. One night the game went long and Raymamon went to sleep at the table. DoctorDoom's character Zorina was knocked out and he asked the GM if he could play Wrightner. DoctorDoom whipped ass and took names as Wrightner backstabbed and slashed with his Vorpal axe. It went to show that Wrightner didn't suck at all, but the player did.

1998- Mojo- played by Father Chaos Mojo was a Kinder thief and like another kinder thief listed above …sucked. He sucked bad….really bad. Father Chaos would run around and say “I pick pockets, I pick pockets.” He picked pockets in town, he picked the pockets of monsters. It was a total pain in the ass. He retired the character when a big gay minotaur named Al had his way with him.

1999- Koth- played by Father Chaos Koth was a home brewed race called Wahali. They were 9 foot tall, had lizard like wings, could live by eating rocks, had horn and tale attacks, didn’t need to breath, and could live off light and all of them had psionics abilities. Father Chaos had played this character before and Doctor Doom and Ancient Evil had heard the cheesy things this character could do. Father Chaos would sink into the ground with Ectoplasmic Form and eat rocks and not need to breath so he would hide out there until whatever chased him down there would leave. When the group complained that the race was to powerful he said that the creatures main drawbacks was that heal spells harmed him and Harm spells healed him and Reincarnation spells would destroy it. DarkRPG tried to integrate this new cheesy character into a newly made first level group. The GM described that a horned and tailed creature was flying down from the north and was landing in town. Doctor Doom and Ancient Evil attacked thinking it was a Drakonion yelling “They eat babies!” and Ancient Evils Minotaur hit Koth in the head with his two handed sword with a natural 20. Father Chaos quickly said that the Wahali looked like a human, but he game the GM a written copy of the race and it listed a tail, wings, and horns, so he ruled against it. Father Chaos was really angry so DarkRPG (being the old softy GM that he is) had his medaling powerful druid come along and cast heal spell on the Wahali. “THAT HARMS HIM!!!” Father Chaos yelled. DoctorDoom and Ancient Evil were in hysterics, literally on the floor laughing. DarkRPG apologized to poor Father Chaos and said “Dude, these guys aren’t going to let you live unless I change your race. He cast reincarnate!”. Father Chaos yelled “That Destroys Him!!!” DoctorDoom almost passes out from lack of oxygen and none of the group has ever seen Father Chaos that angry since. The world only Wahali crumbles to dust and the group votes him on this list.

2000- Cut Bloodsword- played by Father Chaos If you hadn't guessed, Cut Bloodsword’s name was a last minute decision. The character was a Thrikreen fighter who unlike normal thrikreen's that had names like churt or krenk had the name Cut Bloodsword. The character ran around with a chief hat and liked to cook.

2001- Thissledawn Twillburrow- played by Father Chaos Thissledawn was a character originally made for a temporary group that the GM had an experiment with. He told the PC’s that they could pick for magic items form the GMG, if he picked the class and race of the character. They all agreed. Dark RPG was given a Halfling cleric and he chose a magic hammer and some armor. Raymamon was given a Halfling Ranger and he chose elven chain, a magic sword and a girdle of strength. When it came time for FatherChaos he was given a Halfling Bard and he chose boots of speed, a scimitar of speed, elven chain and girdle of giant strength. The group agreed that he didn't pick any items that fit his class, like a magic musical interment or something. He claimed that we should wait and see what he had planned. The character he made was a spoiled brat (that is what he wanted to play). The group set out to kill the drakolich that swore revenge against the Halfling village. The went to a mage named Reneer, but bumped into a mountain giant. Thissledawn got DarkRPG killed by the giant, then ripped apart the mages house with his girdle of giant strength, used the mages dishes as target practice and then when the mage asked him why he ventured to them, had no idea why he was there. When I asked Father Chaos what Thissledawn the bard played as a musical interment he said he played the jug and hooted a lot. The character earned the name "hoot hoot". Later Father Chaos had to use the rest room and asked the GM to run the character for him. When he returned the character destroyed a bar by breaking a table and he claimed his character would never do such a thing and retired him. Years later the group was taken retrieved from retirement and hoot hoot was killed by the dracoliches forces.

2002- Joe Kerr- played by Raymamon Joe Kerr was a ripoff of the batman villain, The Joker. He had a flower filled with acid. One time he walked into a bar and was refused service. He shot the barkeep in the face with acid and then was chased to the rooftops and shot full of arrows by the guards (and his party members).

2003- Andwyn Nightbane - played by DarkRPG DarkRPG played Andwyn thinking that the painted mage was going to be a fantasticly cheesy character class. Then he came to the hard reality that he had to roll his starting spells off a table. He rolled and begged and pleaded for other spells. The GM refused and Andwyn was worthless. For the first few games Andwyn did nothing but shoot his Heavy crossbow, missing all the time. Then one time the group came across a Halfling village getting attacked by a helliphant a 50 foot elephant from the hells. Andwyn shot the hellaphant and laughed saying that he was going to get most damage award. Well, he didn't know that Hellephants can fly....FAST. Within moments the Hellephant was attacking the group. It killed Andwyn, but DarkRPG did an honor purge and retired the character, earning himself the only Golden Chicken award on doctordoom's sheild.

2004- Orlando Bloom- played by Vegan Man This character was a Elven enchanter who proved to be not very helpful in a fight. Vegan Man played him a number of time, but is most known for being accused of being a monitor from the town of Nimborton. (Egg of the Phoenix I12). The group was just booted out of town and this was Vegan Man first game. Orlando Bloom (crappiest name for a character I ever heard), ran up to the group. DarkRPG asked Orlando "Are you one of those Monitors from Niborton?" and Orlando ment to say "I am.....Orlando Bloom.". Well, Orlando paused too long on his name and the only phrase that came out was "I am.". Well, the whole group attacked him and Orlando ran to Nimborton. Where the monitors stood waiting of him to cross the town limit, he never did so they didn't care. They riga mortused Orlando Bloom, inches from the towns limits and they carried him away.

2005- Arden Ironmaul- played by Hackmaster Chief Hackmaster Chief originally played this character in Father Chaos’s game and was later transferred to Doctor Dooms Game. The character had lost two fingers in a Chinese finger trap that cut them off. Later due to lack of spells, he was useless in almost every situation. He felt power only briefly when he killed Orlando Bloom for his staff of devastation, but was killed seconds later when he was killed and the staff taken from him.

2006- Drevin Spellsword- played by Jeff This character was not chosen sucko of the year because of his inability to fight. In fact, he was the best fighter in the group. He was voted because he was an elf with a Russian accent and had a feline familiar named Commander Cuttles. He was also a Blade Master, which the group never take kindly to.

2007- Studds the Gnome- played by Vegan Man Studds was played on an internet game. He was a Gnomish Illusionist thief. The group started off and Vegan man wouldn't respond. The NPC's would talk to him and Studd's would sit there motionless. He even got shot in the leg with a crossbow bolt and still didn't respond. The Barkeep then threw him off a pier and he Vegan Man responded that he was hiding in the shadows in the bar, (having no idea he was at the bottom of a lake.) Vegan man was totally clueless and made no attempt to play correctly. This was hands down the worst character of the year.

2008- Roland McSwift - played by Vegan Man

2009- - Navreyn Saddus - played by Brianna

2010- - In debate

2011- Toby McFlyer- played by Esquire

2012- Tank- played by Monty

2013- Zarik- played by Whispering Shadow

2014- No New Characters that Year

2015- Felican - played by Brad