Extract
Below is a (somewhat amusing) transcript of stimulus/responses about how to do a haiku. Presented here for what it may be worth to haiku newbies (tadpoles). Although tongue is firmly in cheek, this introduction to haiku is not without value to any beginner. See what you think . . .
STUDENT
Helooo...John.
Really nice seeing you here with Haiku Crossroads's link.
I love Haiku, but its quite hard for me make one.
maybe, I'm still not used to with the rhyme.
but, I'm learning somehow
from some Japanese Art/Poetry that I could find here in Indonesia.
I learn your Haiku has:
6 syllables
4 syllables
3 syllables
is it a new format of Haiku..?
Would you give tips for making a good Haiku, John..?
— MS
TEACHER
Hi - try this if you like...
HAIKU LESSON PLAN
Step 1.0 : Read some haiku by the classical masters of the genre out of old Japan : http://thegreenleaf.co.uk/HP/haigapages.htm As a woman, you might like to start with the women haiku (especially, Chiy-ni)
Step 1.1 : Try to relax and allow the haiku you read to turn into a picture, maybe a little movie...
Step 1.2 : Let this diorama take you deeper...
Many people, in the West especially, think a haiku is all about the words. This is an error of the Western mind-set. Haiku is all about the pictures that the (simple and transparent) words conjure.
To read a haiku properly you need to relax and take your time.
Step 2.0 : Use the translators method of formal presentation of the classics you will see (on the link provided) for your own haiku.
Forget syllable count.
Say your haiku in your mind, simply, then write it down as a short, succinct statement. Make it light and fluent.
Step 2.1 : Snip your statement in three, stack it vertically (to begin with - one line or two is fine also, but later, when you know what you're doing).
Haiku typically requre a couple of contrasting elements/images which make a point (often the third line is the punchline).
Step 2.2 : Appraise your result (and get some peer review).
For the time being, at least, forget punctuation and capitalisation (unless a proper noun: 'England', Elvis').
Key concept of haiku : SHOW NOT TELL - this is the motto/mantra of haiku. Strive for that always.
If you get to this point in your efforts with the beautiful thing we call hai-ku ('amusing - little verse'), let me know and I'll be glad to coninue the sequence of your HAIKU LESSON PLAN.
Got any haiku to show me?
If so, pop a couple in this thread so we can have a look and assess your situation.
Good luck!
— JP
STUDENT
John, wow! I'm speechless.
Thank you so much.
It's fantastic!
I'm reading Masajo Suzuki...her works are so beautiful and relaxing.
So, the mantra is SHOW NOT TELL, quite not easy to imagine..but so tempting to try
anyway, I never thought that I would have this opportunity to learn Haiku from you, the master of Haiku, John.
so, what do yo think about these words below that I've written, are they Haiku..?
glowing eyes
knowing for the chance
of Haiku Lesson
if yes, I will be braver to try writting some words on Haiku Crossroad...I think ^_^
— MS
TEACHER
Your senryu is very good !
In haiku, as in life, there are no masters - only students. Some people may disagree, but that would be there own misfortune.
glowing eyes
under the swallow's nest
tiptoe!
Finally, after much squabbling, a pair of swallows have decided to nest on a ledge over the front door porch. I feel guilty about using the front door now! You know, like when a bird nests on your cars engine. Also the guano!
In my simple example of a haiku there is a KIGO (seasonal reference is more accurate, outside of Japan; actually two-in-one - what are they?). This positions the haiku in the compass of the turning year. It gives a seasonal address to the HAI (amusing/diverting) KU (small poem).
Your evocative senryu ('weeping willow' - named after the poet who popularised it, Senryu Karai,) does not have this seasonal positioning - we call this a senryu (more to do with people and their idiosyncratic preoccupations).
glowing eyes
knowing for the chance
of Haiku Lesson
Lovely! Try for a haiku next . . .
:)
— JP
STUDENT
wow! I'm trying to grab what you've explained, John.
rainy Sunday
clear my night
before sunrise
is that KIGO?
— MS
TEACHER
Hi !
Yes, the two kigo in my swallow example are NEST & SWALLOW.
Nests are spring/summer kigo (seasonal reference) in the northern/southern temporate regions of the world. Swallows are a kigo where I live (in rainy England) because they announce summer by their arrival (in the folk imagination,) from Africa, where they spend their winter holidays :)
So, which word, or words, in your ku (little poem) would YOU say represent SEASONAL REFERENCE (kigo-lite, proper kigo are more complex and difficult to emulate outside of Japan)?
— JP
STUDENT
hhhmmm...I guess, I need learn more.
because, I though, rainy and sunrise could be the KIGO, and now I know, they are not.
seasonal reference in Indonesia, are like:
- flying moth or flying dragonfly for rainy reason
- birds immigration for the season changing
- various fruits could be the seasonal reference, John..?
I need to learn about seasonal reference more.
let me try with this one, John, what do you think the KIGO?
in some street
durian's smell disturb the nose
ruin the rain
is it correct, if durian and rain are my KIGO?
— MS
TEACHER
Yes, I like the idea
You have a kigo there!
Maybe a foreigner would not know what a durian is? No matter. It's a KIGO!
Remember the slogan of haiku? SHOW not tell.
How about :
in some** street
durians smell wrinkles the* nose
perfume rain!
OR
in a busy** street
durian's smell wrinkles noses
perfume rain!
Something like that - but you know the scene better than I.
(*is 'my' needed here - it might be?)
(**'some' may be fine, but you could add more information there?)
Because the rain can fall in so many different months it may not be a kigo where you live? In rainy England we have rain any time of the year, so not a kigo in our latitude. One kigo is enough though.
I like your idea - also, I've learned about a new fruit!
— JP
STUDENT
John thank you for being so patient in teaching me.
I love words and your Haiku wrinkles my mind ^_^
they are so fun.
busy day in office
get lighter by Haiku
so nice!
— MS
TEACHER
Yes, haiku is the SUPREME art of life.
office
/
so much
to do - so little
time
(not a haiku - probably a senryu)
— JP
END OF SEQUENCE
---
Supplementary note . . .
.............................................................................................................................
c2010