2019.12.19.B

December 19, 2019 (Part Deux)

Who Am I? (Who? Who?? Who? Who??)

Well, hmm... I really don't have all that much to write about today concerning saving the world. I was completely focused per my agreement with Ohm. I spent a good deal of time shining my maul and staring at the wall (hey that rhymed and no still no name... though something just came to mind...). I did go for a walk with Ohm and retrieved some nitrous canisters. I was there if he needed backup.

[ As Ohm and I walked outside looking for power lines I discovered that they really have a great landscaper here. I like how they worked in the retention pond. Those flower beds on the islands in the parking lot are really well maintained. The grass is phenomenal. Come Springtime I think that Oopie and I will spend some quality time outside doing some landscaping. Oopie has done a great job with the plants. We have this great interior to the Warehouse, but the outside is rather drab. Hmm... perhaps I can hire some temps to give him a hand outside. I wonder what is the going rate for Arcadian day laborers these days. I'll have to take a spin by Home Depot when I get back.]

After we got back I waited for the mages to do their thing. It took awhile, but I'm sure that magic is a difficult medium with which to work. So I spent some me time thinking on things. {This amazing image of My Lady with Arcadia in the background flashed in my mind. It was breathtaking! To send images of herself across time and space to me - she must miss me greatly. I'll not make her wait too long.} Then we went down to the crazy ward and saw some dudes with glowing blue eyes. I almost took a swing at one, but I didn't really get a good jump. So having the utmost confidence in my companions I figured the guys got this. I felt it best to hang back and be the rear guard. What's the point of one of them getting the mote only to be cut off with no escape.

So as I sit back here I figure what the heck - time to scribble some thoughts into the journal. I really am glad I take my MP3 player along on these excursions. I never realized how many Who songs are applicable to my situation here. So, anyway, the question was brought up just who am I. Cygin doesn't seem to think I am The Padre anymore. I admit I have had a crisis of personality in these last few weeks. However, in my defense, I've only been an Arcadian for a few months now. There have been forces released within me and quite naturally I have been affected by it. I am who I am.

Even while I was in the priesthood I was never a shepherd. I never really had my own parish. I was more itinerant. I probably would have been better served being a deacon instead. But I think that I became a priest because I felt that it offered more spiritual defense. Who I truly am has been there underneath it all. The soldier who was spirited away off the battlefield. The raucous youth who would rather drink, party and play the field. But that is all water under the bridge. I am here now in the present. I am who I am.

Yes, I am part Sgt. Devereux the 68 Whiskey who excelled in sewing dying bodies back together in Afghanistan. I am still certainly part the man who saw an Angel on the battlefield before my world was thrown into chaos. I am part the servant of the Lady of Amber Sorrows who had some experience in Arcadia (still not sure what happened there). I am and most recently part Father Devereux the man who re-enlisted as a Chaplain in the army. I have all these facets. Having suppressed the others it is natural that they re-asserted themselves in my psyche.

I still am The Padre, just not the product of Earthy organized religion that my companions thought I was. I am The Padre, just with more of an Arcadian spirituality than Roman Catholicism. That, however, doesn't mean I am going to force the others to call me with any specific form of address. They can call me what they wish. It does not bother me in the least. I know who I am.