US Economists argue whether nation should go to Gold Standard or something even better -- the Bullshit Standard
USA: Calls are increasing for a Gold Standard, the reasoning being that the US has a lot of Gold. But brighter minds are responding with an even better standard for American interests: the BULLSHIT STANDARD. Their argument is that the USA has a far greater supply of Bullshit than gold, more than any nation on the planet by far.
Conservatives and many others are now calling for a gold standard. As the US economy declines and Europe writhes in Euro turmoil, the US needs an anchor to boost its flagging finances. The gold standard bases the value of a currency on gold. A dollar is redeemable for gold rather than for US goods or investments which are now questionable.
The advantage of a gold standard is that a nation with a lot of gold will have a high value currency and thus a strong economy. At this point the US needs all the help it can get.
The US has the most gold in gold reserves on the planet, thus, a gold standard would make the US economy the world’s largest, no contest. Good bye, mortgage fiasco and recession and deficit; Hello, Golden Days of Post-World War II Glory again.
Instantly, the US would be the largest economy, and this would have nothing to do with production or economic health -- just gold inventories.
The USA currently has an estimated 8100 tons in gold reserve. Or nearest competitor Germany has 3400 tons in reserve, this puts the USA way ahead of Germany -- especially if you consider most of their gold will be exported to Greece soon.
But there is a problem with this thinking. According to a new school of economists, the gold standard is timid, short-term thinking. What if Venezuela strikes a huge mother lode of gold while drilling for oil, or what if the Iranians find out how to convert their un-enriched uranium into gold? These are the fears and concerns of forward thinking academics.
There is a standard that the US would excel at and no other nation could ever, ever overtake America -- and this standard would be the Bullshit Standard.
Nobel economist Trevor Van Cookie explains: “If the dollar was based on the Bullshit Standard, this would mean we would be the richest country in the world for perhaps a thousand years. The estimated tonnage of gold reserve is nothing compared to the probable amount of Bullshit tonnage in the USA. It is speculated to be on the order of Trillions of Tons. There is just that much Bullshit in the America. You have no idea!”
Bullshit in the US is everywhere: Politicians make it, CEOs sling it, marketing and consumerism measure it, offshore oil drillers spew it, bankers turn it into mortgage backed securities, media rains it, and the internet collects it. And according to experts, this cache of wealth does not even include the Bullshit amassed by ordinary citizens! The Private Bullshit in closets, garages and disk drives would be astounding.
Further, the amount of Bullshit stored in people’s heads may be the biggest cache of all! Researchers are working on ways to extract it without causing harm to technicians.
Imagine a Bullshit Standard to back the US Dollar! No other country on the planet would come close to us!
And if they did, well, we would maintain the Bullshit Gap, we would build thousands of Bullshit Incubators to research and develop Bullshit of new innovative types – because we are a truly creative people. And if anyone knows bullshit, it is US!
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