Greetings from America, the Tenth Planet
Astronomers have recently discovered a tenth planet. It is called “America” and it is neither gaseous nor solid, it is made of a very thick latte froth.
Apparently, America is the only planet that has no idea that there are other planets. In fact, it thinks it is a Sun. Americans have no idea anything exists outside themselves.
Anti-depressants rain down everyday from clouds to relieve despondence. Rivers run with dextrose. Flavor enhancers grow on trees. And in winter it snows trans-fats.
It is not a happy place but everyone is busy in “the pursuit of happiness”, which is all the planet’s constitution actually promises.
Its economy is based upon mortgage backed securities and inter-stellar treasury bonds.
But not everyone lives on planet America. Some are only allowed to live on its moons. So far scientists have discovered 4 moons -- these are black moon, red moon and brown moon -- the moon given to African Americans, the moon given to American Indians, and the moon given to Latinos. The fourth moon is the pink moon, given to Gays, it is called, “Don’t look at it, don’t see it.”
Another moon is being planned for those who have lost their houses through foreclosures. It will be populated with RVs and tool sheds.
Greetings from America, we bring you no harm.
Axxiad News