Just for Fun: The Principles of “Idiot-ology”
Idiots are made, not born. This is the primary principle of “Idiot-ology”.
The average person (idiot) is the victim of a culture of lowering standards. He may have been originally quite bright, but over time through the hard work of education, media, entertainment, consumerism and politicians an idiot emerges.
The “Idiotologist” is the one who is in charge of lowering these values and benchmarks. IQ or intelligence quotient is not the issue, for IQ is an inborn capacity. The Idiotologist is concerned with “BQ”, that is, behavioral quotient, which can be altered --while IQ cannot be altered except by a hammer blow to the head...and usually downwards.
The Idiotologist, himself, is of high intelligence. The Idiotologist has these desires:
1] To make as many Idiots as possible.
2] And to become an Idiot himself.
The paradox however for the Idiotologist is that if he becomes too much of an Idiot, he cannot help the mass citizen descend properly into the confusion and chaos of everyday idiocy. Someone has got to have some brains in this process, even if the process is about becoming more and more stupid, because this actually takes a high degree of skill, creativity and hard work.
Thus, the Idiotologist must give up a personal goal of self-idiocy, he must renounce this desire and sacrifice for the “people” (all of the Idiots). He is thus like a Jesus Christ for Morons, suffering and crucified and resurrected.
This makes the Idiotologist an “honorary idiot” -- much like one who gets honorary degrees for not having any expertise or experience in a college major, but for being well liked.
The Idiotologist has a special position as servant of the mass idiot, a privileged role that brings great respect and reward as a kind of Mother Teresa for all the suffering idiots.
The secret to the method of the Idiotologist is to let the Idiots lead, this is the key to Idiot Democracy. How is this done? It is done by giving the average Idiot the impression that he is in the driver’s seat, that he is in control.
The means are simple: The Idiot is polled on a regular basis. He votes on this or that product, politician or issue. This is enough to satisfy the Idiot, even though the entire process is rigged and controlled by the Idiotologist who decides what the questions are. And in any case, the Idiot is too dumb to grasp that he actually has no control at all. He is completely flattered that he is asked, and he is completely convinced that the polling is democratic because it reveals “mass opinion”...and, as we know, anything mass, popular and that sells a lot is True – Truth is always in numbers and cash, this is written somewhere in the King James Bible we think.
What we actually have here is the evolution of the obsolete notion of the “proletariat” into the new demographic: The “Polletariat”, the class polled on this or that topic.
This social caste is the new working class, if you will, born into the age of the internet, shopping online, cell phones, blackberrys and cable news and so on.
The Idiotologist represents the new Intelligentsia (a very bad sounding word in Idiot culture) or the new professional or technocratic class. But the Idiotologist is considered “smart, but one of us”, so he is not considered a snob or elite.
There is some concern among Idiotologists that the very actions of the science of Idiotology will actually lower the standards of Idiotologists themselves, that the Idiotologist might actually become also an Idiot over time. There are indications that the behavior of Idiotologists is also declining from their diet and taste in movies, their increase of short-term thinking, and their declining impulse control.
Another important point, the supreme enemy of the Idiotologist is the “Genius”. A Genius is defined as someone comfortable with text and words, and not requiring audio-visual accompaniment to comprehend a topic. For example in the George W. Bush administration, Bush would be the Idiot, while Condoleeza Rice would no doubt be the Genius.
The Genius is able to analyze independently not requiring the aid of a “professional thinker” or an advertising slogan or singing skunks.
More, the Genius will not submit to polling considering the whole matter a trivial sham. The cheeky Genius constantly asks, “Just who is it that determines these questions?” and, “Why ask me my opinion, when you are going to use marketing brainwashing to get me to vote the way you want to anyway?” He is full of these terrorist-type questions. He is truly “ponder” scum trying to sabotage the harmony of our way of life.
The Genius is a most difficult personality, and must be watched very closely.
He is the enemy of our great Idiot Democracy!... Or as we now spell it “IDIET DEMOGAGRACY”.
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