Just for Fun: New Class of Anti-depressants Created
Good bye old anti-depressants. The new innovative class of anti-depressants has arrived. No longer will you feel good or at least feel nothing, the novel revolutionary drugs will NOT remove symptoms of depression at all! But they are not placebos either. Let us explain: This new category will operate by enhancing a portion of the brain which gains a new perspective on the patient’s depression, thus resulting in new ways to handle the depression. The pain and misery and confusion of the depression will still remain.
Why pay for such a drug you may ask? Peruse below and you will see what is so interesting about them ---
The first pharmaceutical to be released is called “Mother Teresa”. This drug stimulates the empathy center and this leads to focus on others in need. Compassion and caring lead then to a new view of one’s despondence, proportion is gained on its significance, and it becomes manageable, and in many cases disappears as the user focuses upon the worse problems of others.
The second drug in the pipeline is called “Dalai Lama”. This tablet has another strategy, it stimulates the frontal lobes where judgment and detachment are based. The benefit to the patient is that distance is created from the emotional malaise, this allows the individual to examine the causes of the despondence, and then develop a strategy to resolve it. Says a user, “It’s like chemical meditation only your knees don’t hurt.”
Another drug coming is “Louis Armstrong”. This product causes the user to sing and play a trumpet. The negative emotions are either channeled into a song and a performance, or they are overcome altogether by pure joy. Some criticism has been raised about the strategy of this drug, but some psychiatrists say they are actually going to offer trumpet lessons along with their sessions.
The fourth pharmaceutical is to be known as “Aunt Sarah”. Aunt Sarah is pill that will give the user the incredible kinetic energy of your favorite 90 year old Aunt. You will talk nonstop, drive, shop, sew, knit, take college classes, garden, cook, hold dinner parties, bake cookies, go to flea markets and second hand stores, sing in a church choir, practice tai chi, build a website, save lost cats, and change the oil in your car. You will be so busy that you will have forgotten all about your depression. And as Aunt Sarah says, “Sure I get depressed, it’s part of life, but I’ve got to schedule it, I’m so busy, I don’t have time to blubber.”
Cage Innoye
Axxiad News