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Bilderberg Chooses Paris Hilton as Spokesperson for Global Conspiracy
The Bilderberg long suspected of organizing a world conspiracy has come to the surface. Paris Hilton, international bad girl, has been chosen by the Bilderberg to be a spokesperson for the global schemers with a serious image problem.
Paris Hilton joins Bilderberg
Also, Hilton will help the Bilderberg with their serious name problem. Their impossible to remember name has led to people calling them everything from the Dilberblurgs to the Bitterburps to the Bladderbursts to the Gilderjerks. Some however think that the name problem is a deliberate ruse intended to hide the Bilderbergs behind a Google search confusion.
Dilberblurg HQ
Paris Hilton it is claimed will bring transparency to the global conspiracy.
Hilton, an odd mix of sophistication, sex and nihilism is considered a brilliant choice for the face of the New World Order. Paris will appeal in modern culture, especially to young people who have a deep streak of alienation
At a press conference in Paris, France, Paris Hilton announced the new Bilderberg slogan: “Join the Conspiracy for Order and Security!”
And she unveiled its shadow flag.
This signals a radical shift in the strategy of the conspirators. Said Paris, “Yes, we are a conspiracy, we have nothing to hide about that, and we want you to join it, the more conspirators the merrier, and the more chance of success, don’t you think?”
When asked by Fox News what the Bilderberg’s exact plans were she responded, “That’s none of your business, this is a conspiracy, you morons!”
How did Paris Hilton join the Bilderberg and become its sultry poster girl? Paris and Henry Kissinger are good friends.
Henry Kissinger
Strangely enough, Paris and Henry Kissinger have a common passion: Dutch wooden shoes. They met at a Manhattan specialty shoe store.
Dutch wooden shoes
Paris often goes about in a Dutch girl outfit
Kissinger's favorite wooden shoes are elevated.
Elevated Wooden Shoes
He wears them everywhere including covert meetings of the Dilderblurgs where he clop, clop, clops his way around the stage. However, he says that he always takes them off while bowling.
No wooden shoes at Dilberblurg bowling alley
Dutch clogs are now becoming the rage amongst the world's leaders. Even, Obama now plays basketball in his clogs to get an edge.
Obama
Kissinger apparently won over Paris, the young neophyte, to the necessity of the Global Order given the chaos of her personal life. And the conspiratorial aspect appealed to her sense of danger and rebellion, for Paris the Bladderbursts are both order and disorder at the same time, which is quite fun.
Next week, Paris will make a bold step for the New World Order, in Paris she will unveil a new perfume called the “New World Odor”. Her first brainchild will be called “Paranoiac – the scent of fear”.
The New World Odor
In the next few months, she will also unveil a line of “Machiavellian Underwear and T Shirts”.
Machiavelli
Later she will bring out a boutique franchise line called “Genghis Kahn Massage and Tickling Salons”.
Genghis Kahn
When asked how do you spell “Bilderberg”, Paris retorted, “No one knows! Anyway, the Bilderberg name is all a misunderstanding. Actually, it is Builder Bung, and all of the conferences were really bungie jumping contests. Yea, they bungie, all of them, Henry Kissinger and Mikhail Gorbachev and Hillary Clinton. It's great fun. They are builder bungies, we’ve got Henry bungie, Mikhail bungie, we’re just a sports organization, nothing to worry about at all."
Then in an attempt to rebrand the organization, Paris said they will accept being called the Bilderbung or Bilderbungie. "You know we're not a burger chain, well, not yet anyway. Whoops, that’s supposed to be a secret!"
Yesterday, Paris unveiled the Bilderbung symbol in Rome. She stepped on stage under withering lights, put out her arm and gave the world her middle finger! Then flags unfurled on stage showing an erect middle finger surrounded by a dead black field.
A moderator went on to explain to the shocked audience that a single finger stood for One money, One power, One world!
Bilderberg Logo: One Finger, One World, One Power
Trying to be popular and sociopathic at the same time, the press began wondering just who else in history has employed this strategy?
First Bilder Bunger?
Most are astounded by the Bilderberg tactics, they seem to defy all political logic, and are highly contradictory. A Fox News commentator opined: “To make a conspiracy public, it makes no sense. Well...unless the idea is to gain support for a conspiracy...but to let no one in on the details? You know that might be the best kind. Hey, why didn’t we think of that!!!?”
More, the Bilderbungs have introduced a new internet search engine, Boogle, that allows you to type in any entry. It will search the entire cyber-world and provide you with only One result: the One World Order --- for it is the answer to everything! Its’ social networking site will be called "Faceless Book", it is a conspiratorial network of millions with no faces. Everyone is a "follower" and there is only one "leader", a faceless person behind it all. But we will not know this person's identity until the Great Day of Victory!
And even more perplexing to the planet, another stunning Bilderberg move was to appoint a “Spiritual Counsel”. In attempt to unite people across national and political lines, conspiratorial thinkers have converged on the notion of a higher viewpoint.
Paris discovered the Golly Rama, an ostracized, renegade Tibetan monk who got infamous from owning a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise. It is reputed the Golly Rama now controls all the world’s supply of braunschweiger (liverwurst), and is quite wealthy.
The Golly Rama
The Golly Rama is known for his ”Gooooooooolyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!” exclamation. Whenever he walks into a room he yells, "Goooooooooolyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!"
"Well, Goooooooooooooooooooooooolyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!"
The Golly Rama has a theology based on the concept of “Golly”. Everything is “golly”, God is golly, people are golly, the Grand Canyon is golly, ice cream is golly, money is golly. The Golly Rama participates in all of the joys of the world, seeing “golly’ in all things.
A Maserati. Golly!!!!!
His followers chant a seven syllable repetition to achieve “Golliness” , it goes: “Golly gee oh wow oh my”. One repeats ad infinitum: “Golly gee oh wow oh my, Golly gee oh wow oh my, Golly gee oh wow oh my, Golly gee oh wow oh my...”
It is reported that continuous chanting of this will bring great happiness and material wealth to the individual.....and royalties to the Golly Rama for he owns the audio trademark of this series of sounds.
As Spiritual Counsel, the Golly Rama will preside over conferences and guide participants to the most Golly of conspiratorial plans....to achieve the New Golly Order.
The New Golly Order is Coming!
The Bilderbangers are hopeful of rapid success now that they have two new partners, Paris Hilton and the Golly Rama.
But all is not well in the Dilderbungles, privately activists say they are having difficulty. "The world is too complex and diverse, there are too many players and points of view. The time has passed for us."
A faceless Bilderbunger told us, "We have a goal of one money, one bank, one military, one power, one world. But too many people and nations oppose this. The Russians and Chinese oppose our one financial system because it will be in the West’s interests not theirs. Same with the Muslims and the Third World. The Europeans cannot even get along with each other.
Only the USA can be the core of the New World Order but the problem is that ultimately the Bilderbung world will be based on military force to coerce nations into accepting one money, one bank, one power, one world. And the USA cannot even keep down two 3rd world nations in the Mideast with impoverished economies, so where is the military force for our new order?
Conventional weapons can not do the trick; it must be based upon weapons of mass destruction because no one has the conventional armies to subdue the world. So ultimately our strategy must be based in military people who can execute palace coups. We need a new Napoleon, that is, a Golly Napoleon."
Napoleon. Golly!
"And more, we need a Napoleon with a Nuke."
A Nuke. Golly!
Another Dilberbunger offered a very interesting view: "The real threat is not what you think; it is not chaos, conflict or refusal to harmonize. The primary obstacle is not Russia, Islam, China, it's Google! It is us, the Bilderbungers vs Google. The real battle of the 21st century is between the New World Order and Google.
But most Bilderbungers have not grasped that yet, they're stuck in an old Paradigm of Alexander the Great or Machiavelli. They don't get it, except maybe the Golly Rama...who I think has a plan to take over Google."
G o l l y !
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