Reverend Terry Jones says will not burn Koran but will do other burnings:
Burn the Dictionary, burn your DMV manual, burn your Wife, burn my Steaks, burn a Rainforest, burn your Underwear
Pastor Terry Jones is planning the burning of another important book: the Dictionary! Why? In his words: “The dictionary is not the language of the bible, no one today talks like they did in the Bible! Jesus used “thee” and “thou” because he spoke 2000 years ago in the King James version of Aramaic. Don’t you know that? So please come to “Burn thy dictionary day”.
After that, the reverend will burn the Florida Department of Motor Vehicles Driving Manual! Why? “Because I personally do not believe in driving on the right side of the road nor do I believe in only driving forward instead of reverse -- sometimes you might want to drive in reverse and down the other side of the road singing “Onward Christian Soldiers” while wearing camouflage chiffon! I am free citizen and I will do as I please. Where in the Sermon on the Mount does Jesus give us regulations on driving a car and make us stand in long lines? You won’t find it. Come to “Burn thy DMV booklet day”.
Next, the reverend will host an event called “Burn thy Wife”! Says he, “The Bible makes the Man the complete autocrat of the home; and on this day we are going to prove that.”
At the very same burning will be the much anticipated “Burn my steaks”. The reverend will demonstrate the proper way to cook a good beef steak – smoking charcoal black! So guys make sure your wife tells you where the A-1 sauce is before the event!
Following this festival, in protest of the global warming fraud, the reverend will organize a “Burn a Rain Forest day”. And if you don’t live in or near a rainforest, don’t worry, there will be “Burn a Bambi day” for you.
Finally, the reverend, a devout nudist, will call for a “Burn your Underwear, and return to Eden day”. On this day he will preach his new theology combining nudism and polygamy, which is the way that God intended it. He hopes this will become very popular.
Just for Fun
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