My Life Philosophy
My Life Philosophy
Joshua Pogreba
Where I Live And What I Live For
I’m walking through a hot, dry, desolate desert - a hellish place for most people and for myself at times. A hard environment with hard feelings and a lack of everything but reminders of an inevitable end, by which I mean sand. The spined cacti inhabitants draw blood upon touch. The blazing heat in the day teaches endurance, and the frigid cold at night leaves anything that moves seeking the warmth of shelter. Still, I do my best to find happiness, like an oasis, unsure if it’s real or if it’s an illusion; and if so, when will it run out or just disappear altogether? This seemingly infinite, vast expanse must surely end somewhere - that somewhere being the beginning of a new place. So I keep walking and I figure I’ll find it one day.
This place in which I reside is my mind. Even as I make my way through daily life, at the store, at home, out with friends, or among family, I’m not really in any of those places, I’m just wandering the desert. The intensity of the heat and the sting of the burning sand on my feet, slipping between my toes, and rubbing them raw, becomes about the only thing I can focus on. With starvation and dehydration taking its additional toll, this journey slips out of sight, and just as it becomes unbearable, I stumble upon a cactus I can get water from, or a fox I can hunt for some food, and intensely satisfied, I continue my journey replenished and ready for the cycle to repeat. The intensity of each moment keeps me on edge, eagerly waiting to see what life throws at me next.
Ever since I was younger, I always felt a strong connection to God. I always felt like I was meant to be best friends with him. I never really had a best friend while growing up, and so maybe that had something to do with it, but maybe not. I was never really clear on that. Either way, I knew that I had to try and expand myself as a conscious being as much as I possibly could in order to live up to that.
I’ve tried to understand people my whole life, because I have always wondered what other people are experiencing. It’s been fairly obvious that other people aren’t experiencing what I am. I’ve come to the conclusion that people are consumed by emotions and shallow concepts based on other people’s perceptions and not their own. By people not focusing on themselves, it takes a much longer time for them to develop as people. And so what is perception? Perception is what you taste, smell, see, hear, and feel. It’s your instincts and your thoughts. The only thing known to exist is yourself. I think, therefore I am. Knowing that, I’ve embraced life doing what I can to not miss anything, to understand what’s going on and why so I can figure out the puzzle that is the meaning of life. I’d also say that people are consumed by escapes, escapes from whatever reality they are experiencing because they are dissatisfied with it, whether it be a situation or their own choices and what it means about themselves. By living the way I do, I try not to escape anything. Each thing is only a single piece of the puzzle, and I’ve got to find all the pieces to be sure of what the meaning of life is.
Alive
I feel alive in both the positive sense of it and the negative sense of it. There are incredible heights to life, and there are unimaginable lows. The great experiences that come with life as well and the upkeep of it. I’m exhilarated by new thoughts and ideas and coming up with theories about life based on my experiences: The feeling of immense mental power, and the electric energy flowing through me from my bones to the top of my skin that comes with creativity like standing at the top of a butte watching the spectacle the lighting performs; the freedom of being away from everything else, being able to imagine anything I’d like to without anyone telling me they don’t like it or it’s too much for them. If I think hard enough, I can feel wind upon my face, smell the cool and dusty air with hints of the little plant life that is there, even though I’m not physically there. And after I’ve spent long enough at this butte, I can feel reality’s drops falling down on me and splashing my skin. I jump all the way down the butte and still land safely.
People don’t really understand. They seem amazed and awestruck at the same time, and respond with something like “That’s insane!” And maybe it is, but it’s mostly wonderful and really cool. I don’t really have much of a response other than I think that people should think more and spend more time wandering their minds too. Spend some time in “THE REALMS”.
Leather Jacket
Thick black leather. It’s smooth and polished, with some rough dry spots here and there. Fine creasing held together with stitches. A worn interior. The folded collar. Buttons rarely used except for in the cold. Shallow pockets. It’s fairly protective, and feels cold when you first put it on. The weight of it resting on your shoulders. And the ease of holding that weight on your shoulders when you’ve been wearing it awhile. The cool calm motions made with the restriction of it.
The world was cold when I first entered it. My buttons were buttoned up and people made a game of pushing them. The fine lines I had when I was younger. The binding of myself to these lines, I held myself to my expectations. The weight of all of it rested on my shoulders, weighed them down. I was still learning to restrain my actions and emotions. As I got older and got used to the cold, I unbuttoned my buttons and people don’t push them anymore. I’ve gotten used to the weight and I’m stronger for it. I’ve gotten better at restraining myself, taking calm, planned actions. Those fine lines have begun to wear out, and I’ve stopped holding myself to those fine lines as much. I’ve polished my personality, and love my rough, dry character. I’m looking sharper with that folded collar. My attitude and character are really starting to show, not that anyone else perceives it the same, but I see it, and I don’t really care if others don’t.
Conclusion
Always living in your mind keeps you in your mind rather than fully experiencing the world. It’s good not to always stay there in order to truly live. Living in my mind, I’ve developed myself as a person a great deal, and I learned things and have come to understand things that most people don’t understand and haven’t learned, and it’s changed my life and the way I live it. There are different parts of our minds, and there are multiple things to learn about and from each: the path to finding yourself, knowing who you are. I escape ignorance by living in my mind. When you understand that everything is constantly changing, you realize it applies to yourself too. Every decision you make develops you as a person. Some people think that certain decisions are a regression of yourself, but really, it’s just developing you in a different way. You are always moving forward, but each decision may take you down a different path than another. The right way to live for one person is not necessarily going to be the right way to live for another person. The world is a strange irony of depersonalized situations and completely personal circumstances. Anything could happen to anyone at any point in time, but the circumstances you find yourself in are completely personal in the way that they make you who you are. You were meant to experience these things, even if you caused it for yourself. Each person is their own individual person, and so it would only make sense that each person would have different circumstances. And with each person being their own individual person, they are meant to be different and make their own different decisions, and develop into different people. To say that someone should only live one kind of lifestyle would be an insult to the individuality which is a key part of what makes the world work the way it does. Maybe not everything is positive, but everything happens for a reason, and so it’s as it should be. Life is just one big puzzle. Some people figure it out, others don’t. Maybe you won’t ever figure it out completely, but at least getting it mostly together should give you a good enough idea of what the puzzle will be when it is figured out. When you die, you want to know that you did what you could, and that what you did was good enough, that you didn’t live a lie and your life wasn’t for nothing. When you know yourself and know the world, everything opens up to you. Once you have that knowledge, you can make the decisions you want to make and be who you want to be.