My Fear
My Fear
El Christides
I hold my fear in a box
Sometimes I wear it on my neck
Other times in my hair
Like a necklace
Like a pin
Never on my sleeve.
My fear is always there
Like a flame licking the back of my neck.
Some days fear is an accessory
Something I can control.
Other days fear is a part of me
In blood vessels travelling up my spine
It’s always there
Following me like a lost puppy
Like a child missing home
Fear is seeing eyes in the dark
When you’re all alone
Fear is something I never defeat
Something I cannot control
My fear is afraid of my strength
My strength afraid of my fear
Like a never-ending tug-of-war between two semi trucks
My fear is there when I express myself
When I close my eyes
Like an old house looming in the dark
My fear is always there.
I wear it on my hand
Like a ring
Throw it in my art and writing
Like old paint
And broken pens
Making something brand new.
I am not my fear
But my fear is always there.