Chapter 18

For the whole of New Year's Day that year, Yan Yang and I stayed in the hotel. He complained that it was too cold and refused to go out, so I had to buy our meals outside and bring them back to the hotel.

I had originally wanted to show him around the area; after all, he rarely came here and there might not be another chance in the future.

But no matter what I said, he refused to go out and just holed himself up in the hotel room, sitting on the bed in his pyjamas playing games.

When we went to the dormitory, I had taken some revision material with me. While he gamed, I studied. When he was tired of his games, he came over and leant against me as he spaced out.

The day slipped by quickly. In the evening, I forced him out of the hotel and bought the train ticket for his return the next day.

Yan Yang sulked the entire time. He rarely threw a fit around me, but that day when I spoke to him, he mostly ignored me.

Since the day I joined the Yan family, he only ever clung to me. Perhaps back then, he had still been young, so sticking to me and treating me nicely were just instructions from his mum, but at this point, it had already become a habit.

But it didn't matter much that he was always clinging to me. The scary part was that I had actually grown accustomed to him sticking to me all day long. With him treating me so coldly, I unexpectedly felt ill at ease.

The hotel room was small. Between the two beds was a mere half-an-arm’s worth of distance.

We each lay in our own beds, Yan Yang's back facing me.

At first, I didn't want to give him any attention. If he wanted to be angry, then so be it. It had been wrong of him in the first place to come here all of a sudden. But because of him, I couldn't focus on studying at all. In the end, I was troubled to the point where I really couldn't continue anymore and just flung my materials onto the bedside table before turning out the lights to go to sleep.

It was barely 8pm.

After I turned off the lights, the room was shrouded in darkness.

In the dark, a person's senses would become sharper. For instance, I hadn't realised that he had actually been crying with his back facing me, but after I turned off the lights and lay back down, the sound of it was so clear that I couldn't ignore it.

This was his usual trick. Ever since he was young, once things didn't go his way, he would cry.

I didn't want to deal with it, so I pretended to have fallen asleep.

After some time, Yan Yang suddenly said, "Ge, do you hate me?"

I heard the sound of him flipping over on his side. I opened my eyes to look, and saw that he had already turned to face me. In the darkness, our eyes met. I didn't want to say a word.

"You've hated me since we were young. Right?" Yan Yang continued.

He spoke between sobs, sitting up to draw some tissue to blow his nose.

"After New Year's Day, you have to go back to school," I said, "Isn't there still half a month before your holidays start?"

"That's obviously not why you're so hell-bent on me going back!" Yan Yang erupted, losing his temper. He even hurled the tissue box in his hands onto the ground.

He had never acted like this before, and especially not in front of me.

He was like a small child, kicking up a fuss for no reason. It annoyed me.

"Then what other reason do you think it is?" I was too tired to fight back. For some reason, for the past two days, I had been getting a vague feeling that something was off.

And this feeling had started the previous morning.

"You just hate me," asserted Yan Yang. I didn't know why he was suddenly throwing a tantrum.

"Okay, whatever you say. But tomorrow morning, you have to obediently come with me to the train station. I will personally watch you get on the train," I pointed a finger at him, speaking through gritted teeth, "Your parents spoil you and let you have your way all the time. There's no need for me to treat you like a king. If you don't want to be a good student, then so be it; I can't be bothered. But don't come here and disrupt my revision for the end-of-term assessments."

Ever since that incident when I flipped over Yan Yang's bowl of grapes and spat a few harsh words at him, I had never been so hostile to him again.

He was stunned, remaining silent.

We continued staring at each other in the dark. In the end, I turned around first and lay back down, continuing my pretence of sleeping.

This night was simply awful.

Later on, I heard some sounds behind me, but didn't pay it any mind until Yan Yang suddenly opened the door and left.

That was when I started to panic, cursing myself for having been too harsh earlier.

After all, Yan Yang was only sixteen, a boy in his rebellious phase. Why did I have to provoke him?

I didn't even have time to change my clothes and just ran after him in my pyjamas and slippers.

Yan Yang was striding towards the exit. I immediately grabbed him and yanked him back.

I shoved him into the room, practically with a vengeance. Yan Yang nearly fell to the floor.

I slammed the door behind us with a bang that made the whole room rattle. It scared Yan Yang so badly that he just froze in place.

"Why the hell did you go out?" I questioned him.

This little rascal had even learnt this trick. If we were at home, would he have simply run away from home?

"I was annoying you, so I left," Yan Yang replied, a tremble in his voice as he stared at me, a tinge of fear in his eyes.

Once he had this sort of expression on his face, I immediately couldn't flare up even if I wanted to. He was too good at acting pitiful. It was incredibly irritating.

"Where were you planning to go?" I asked him, "Are you familiar with this place? Where can you even go?"

Yan Yang stared at me. He kept quiet.

Eventually, he said, "You may not like me, but there will definitely be someone who does."

He rubbed his nose. "I'll wait at the roadside. If someone wants to take me away, I'll go with them."

"What the fuck are you saying?" Where in the world did he learn this from?

I couldn't restrain myself and gave him a shove, causing him to actually fall down.

He landed on his butt. That fall probably hurt; Yan Yang pursed his lips as he stared at me.

Yan Yang said, "Then do you like me or not?"

Back then, the kind of 'like' I had understood was that between brothers. To end this ridiculous quarrel as soon as possible, I had no choice but to nod and agree, "If you say I like you, then I do."

I didn't want to continue arguing with him anymore. I just wanted to get him on the train tomorrow without any hiccups and send him back to his parents' side.

In the end, the situation unfolded in a direction I could never have predicted.

Yan Yang stood up, right in front of me.

He said, "Then prove that you really do like me."

"How do I prove that?" I asked, "Have I not done enough all these years?"

"You haven't."

The room was still pitch-black. Yan Yang came very close to me. He said, "I'll teach you how to prove it."

Then he kissed me.

Yan Yang grabbed the collar of my sleepwear with both hands before tilting his face up and pressing his lips to mine.

He had lost his fucking mind.