Chapter 10

Kissing.

Yan Yang had never talked about this kind of thing in front of me. Although I had never truly seen him as a family member, I had always taken him to be a little kid who didn't know anything, someone stupid and foolish.

It was only when he said this did the fact abruptly sink in – he was already fifteen years old.

No matter how stupid and foolish he was, he was no longer the small child from back then that cried just because I toppled a bowl of grapes and spat a few harsh words at him.

Not only had he grown up, he was also facing some other problems now.

"A boy?"

This surprised me. It caught me so off guard that for quite some time, I didn't even realise that his mum had been calling for me to go eat my breakfast.

"Coming," I called back in response before turning back to look at Yan Yang. He nervously sat there, watching me.

"We'll talk about this when I'm back," I ended the conversation and left, closing the door behind me so he could sleep a while longer.

The whole morning, I felt uneasy. This was really a bit hard for me to digest.

I knew what gay people were like. There was a boy in the adjacent class who was very effeminate. He spoke in a soft and high voice, and walked like he had no bones. Honestly, I was indifferent about him. After all, he was none of my business. But there would always be those who loved conflict, starting shit when there was none, as though his habits were legitimately affecting their lives.

The whole cohort knew that this guy was gay. Some people liked to tease him. When he walked down the corridor, there would be people who purposely whistled as he walked by, or stretched out a foot to trip him over. There were also a few times when I saw this one guy from his class purposely touching his ass and laughing at him afterwards.

It was quite deplorable.

I sat in the classroom, unable to absorb a single word the teacher was saying. My mind automatically swapped the effeminate boy with Yan Yang.

People laughing at Yan Yang and calling him a sissy.

People touching Yan Yang's ass.

I was called on by the teacher to answer a question. When I stood up, I stared blankly, not knowing what the teacher had asked.

"You're a third-year student already; stop daydreaming!" the teacher scolded.

I was forced to stand for the remainder of the lesson, but I still couldn't absorb a single word.

I was dismissed at noon. The moment I walked out of the school gate, I saw Yan Yang waiting for me by the roadside. It was near the end of the year already, so the weather was chilly. Yan Yang was standing under a naked tree, wearing a coat that was the exact same as mine. He had been staring at the ground, seemingly thinking about something unbeknownst to me, but the moment I called his name, he looked up and ran towards me with a smile on his face.

Yan Yang was in his third and final year of middle school already. Within this year, he had grown quite a bit in height, almost catching up to me, but his arms and legs were still as slender as always. He clearly ate a lot every day, but still looked a bit undernourished.

He took my schoolbag from me and swung it over his shoulders like a little attendant, following me closely.

My classmates all recognised him. They even greeted him hello when they walked past.

"Why did you come here?"

"I felt restless at home," Yan Yang explained, "Mum and Dad have gone out. They asked us to eat lunch outside."

Because I had been thinking about his issue the whole morning, when I saw him, I felt a bit complicated.

He, on the other hand, seemed like nothing had happened, as though the person who had sought my help this morning with his brows tightly knitted hadn't been him at all.

We ate at a noodle place near the school. Coincidentally, the effeminate boy from the adjacent class was here too. After the boy sat down, a group of rowdy boys also entered. When they saw him, they bought their noodles and sat at his table.

They didn't do anything too overboard, but the words they said were unpleasant.

Sissy, f*g, et cetera.

They kept mocking and teasing him until the boy didn't dare to raise his head.

Yan Yang's smile had dropped. He ate his noodles with a blank face. I took a piece of tissue and tore it into half, rolling the pieces into two little paper balls and stuffing them into his ears.

Yan Yang was stunned for a moment, then he looked at me and broke out into a smile.

We usually had quite large appetites, but that day, neither of us could finish our noodles.

On the way home, he sat on the backseat of my bicycle, his backpack on his shoulders and his arms around my waist. The typically chatty Yan Yang was silent the whole way.

When we got home, the house was empty. The underwear from this morning was hung on the balcony to dry.

Yan Yang asked, "Ge, is there something wrong with me?"

"What?" I replied, "If you're ill, treat it. If not, go and do your worksheets."

He stuck to me. Wherever I went, he followed.

"I'm not talking about that," Yan Yang tugged at the hem of my sweater, not letting me go, "Do you still remember what I told you this morning?"

There was a fire burning in my chest, but I couldn't tell why. In hindsight, it was probably because I was afraid that he would be bullied and taken advantage of in school over this.

I had said it before; I couldn't stand to watch him get bullied by others.

"Sit down."

He obediently sat down, placing his hands over his knees.

"There's nothing abnormal about it," I said, "There's no law that says you cannot kiss boys."

The corner of his lips quirked up as he looked at me, then he nodded.

"But don't carelessly tell people about it. Like my dad, your mum, don't tell them for now," I carefully instructed him, "Don't talk about it in school either. No matter who it is, don't tell them."

He nodded his head firmly, "Okay, I'll only tell you!"

He really did only tell me. Much later on, when he was under me with tears streaming down his face because of my doing, still only I knew of this. That was the first time we had made love, inside our bedroom. Because of the pain, he had been gripping me deathly tight, his fingernails piercing into my skin.

At that moment, Yan Yang had asked me, "Ge, is it normal of me to be like this?"