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Below we have a quite interesting mashup of notions about 'breath spaces' in haiku (or, more safely, ku = 'brief poem'). My responses will be interjected boldly into the querent's text. . . .QUERENTThanks for your response to my questions. Here are some opinions on the question of punctuation in ELH (I know little about haiku in languages other than English), which I found quite interesting. My use of the word caesura was intended to denote "punctuation" in the context of the questions I asked (trying to keep it simple, but aware of the use of caesura in music and classical poetry). Thanks to this book about Basho by Jane Reichhold, which is probably the only English translation of Basho's work available (and therefore "definitive"), I don't think I have misquoted Jane when it comes to her views on the use of punctuation! I think most people agree that haiku is in TWO parts, and too much punctuation defeats it's structural objective and fluidity. I have sent these to you simply for review, and not because I am disputing anything in particular that you have included in your substantial response to questions I raised
More food for thought ...if not for you, certainly for me!It's all about developing sensitivity to text and its effect on the goal of haiku which is to be a delivery system for a virtually sensate dream. A photocopy, a snapshot, or -- more usefully -- a little movie. In this case, sensitivity to our ELH simulation of kireji (so called 'cutting words', expressive of emotional nuance and portals into responsive dream-space; that famously slippery primary concept of Nippon aesthetics -- based on mythic consciousness -- namely ma). These surrogate kireji, -- our punctuation -- serve to place emphasis on the two contrasting images in a ku (juxtaposition / disjunction, aka: toria wase). They also cue entry into 'the gap' of ma, the dream-space where we visualise and experience a virtual rendering of the original ku event, prior to its transcription in text (ku) as a delivery system to our mind's eye, our innre theatre between stimulus and response.. This is where a lot of ELH folks come unstuck. They want to explain it all away ('tell' as they have been schooled) - they lose their nerve regarding the power of allusion (the 'showing'). Of course, as you say, too much punctuation defeats the purpose of clear delivery of vision by 'over-egging' a ku with this and that. This is a distraction (and a conceit) - in fact, another form of 'telling'.
From: An Interview With Jeanne Emrich by Robert Wilson
Question. Many poets new to haiku are puzzled as to when or when not to use a pause at the end of a line and what symbols to use to signify that pause. What advice can you offer?
Answer. A rule of thumb is to have a grammatical break or pause at the end of the first line or the second, but not at both (which would make the poem read more like a list!). In Japanese haiku, "cutting words" are used to make this break or to add emphasis to the words. In English, we may or may not use punctuation to indicate a break. When we do, it's important to know the function of the various symbols, a study well worth undertaking.
The most important thing to do, in English language haiku, is to develop sensitivity regarding the various punctuation signs, their 'speed' of transition (into the dream-space of ma) and their contextual nuance. To simply use punctuation as stylistic décor utterly defeats the purpose of well positioned punctuation (kireji surrogate). Better to leave punctuation out completely if there is no awareness of your selected punctuation's 'musicality' and transition speed.
Lee Gurga, in his latest book, Haiku: A Poet's Guide (Modern Haiku Press, 2003), for example, describes how the em-dash (--) is the most commonly used form of punctuation in haiku. Its function, he says, is "to show a sharp break in focus or an unexpected contrast." Similarly, the colon, semi-colon, comma and period also have specific functions that the beginner should become familiar with and use when it contributes to the effectiveness of a particular verse.
Yes, there's much more to ku punctuation than simply dividing two obviously disparate images.
I might add that it's also a good idea to experiment with using no punctuation at all. Often the absence of punctuation can create a deliberate ambiguity that activates the reader's imagination, prompting him or her to explore the many possible layers of meaning within the poem.
For example, in the following version of one of my poems, the ellipsis makes it fairly clear that two separate things are being described:
coming home . . .
over dark waters
hunter's moon
Perhaps for better visual balance of the text (to avoid delivery distraction and set the tone)?:
coming home...
over dark waters
hunter's moon
Someone, in other words, is coming home by whatever means and over a dark lake is the hunter's moon [autumnal/October seasonal reference, bordering on kigo, but not really quite as complex a set of cultural associations, nowadays]. But if you leave out the ellipsis, as in
coming home
over dark waters
hunter's moon
It's not a crime to say it plainly, however, my own preference would be:
coming home
over dark waters...
hunter's moon
In the last analysis and at the day's end, any ku will insist on its best option. At least for the time being.
You might read it the same way as above, or you might imagine that the poet or even the hunter's moon itself is "coming home over dark waters." The middle line, in effect, becomes a pivot line which can refer either to the first or third line, resulting in two possible meanings. In this poem, the ambiguity created by having no punctuation sets up not only a suggestiveness but invites whimsy into play without overt metaphor.
Good point, if you want to have the double whammy, plain would be the way to go. For usual emphasis, I'd do it as shown. These can be tricky decisions and often, even years later, one change one's mind (then maybe changes it yet again at a later viewing!)
QUERENT LINKS
Blythe (mainly): http://hokku0.tripod.com/punctuation.htm
Reichhold on punctuation after one has waded through the rest! http://www.ahapoetry.com/h_t_rules_come.html
--- Finis ---
ALSO SEE THIS
ALSO SEE my lodger
POSTSCRIPT Makoto Uedo (whom I admire as someone who makes significant sincere effort to understand the mechanics of authentic haiku) has this to say.
AFTERWORD So. Meditate upon the various punctuation options (check Wikipedia under that title for a comprehensive list with examples). Compare your results to Nippon words that function as kireji (why not?). This study will improve your haiku's *delivery* text (which, after all, is what the text is for; namely to evoke a *sensate visualisation* in your mind's eye), and also your sensitivity to the subject matter of your haiku in general. (This exercise will also help to improve your broad - spectrum 'haiku vision'.) With haiku punctuation, once you 'get it', you've got it for life; like swimming, one never forgets. Your haiku will improve by leaps and by bounds -- in that most ancient pond of direct existential experience.
DEDICATION This item was an extension of a comment or two I made over at Haiku Workshop on Facebook. Thanks for the stimulus guys.
jp 27-04-12
This entire site is a living document and as such will be developing - be sure to return regularly to the pages. Not just to see the changes, but also to review the material in the light of your accelerating trajectory.