my lodger
QUERENTIf I may ... your first version [see below] is more in keeping with Basho's injunction that vegetable broth is preferable to duck soup (and my understanding is that you tend to favour a "purist" approach, as much as this is possible in ELH?). However, the second version [see below] (perhaps too ambiguous without the backstory?) is more "naturally" fluid in that fewer caesura have been used. Jane Reichhold is, in her definitive book on the work of Basho, of the opinion that if caesura are to be employed at all, ONE should be sufficient. What is your take on the use of caesura in ELH as a being somewhat analogous to the use of kireji (cutting words) in Japanese haiku? Do we use them as "direct translations" of English grammar (e,g. English grammar insists that there is a comma between "my lodger, Mrs Dusty Soider, on ....."), or do we break the English grammar rules to maintain the fluidity of the haiku? Best wishes to Mrs. Dusty Spider .... and just because it is fun to push the textual mass ... / my lodger on the fly plumps for many more Dusty Spidershttp://www.amazon.com/Basho-The-Complete-Haiku-Matsuo/dp/4770030630Kireji and caesura: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku
INITIAL RESPONSE
You raise some interesting points. Let's consider them in sequence. (This will be a first draft of an essay and therefore a living document - subject to the forces of evolution.)
your first version [see below] is more in keeping with Basho's injunction that vegetable broth is preferable to duck soup (and my understanding is that you tend to favour a "purist" approach, as much as this is possible in ELH?).
1) 'Purist' in my own terms is a compound. Firstly, trying to plumb the deeps of Nippon haiku to extract it's components (which leads into the matrix of, not only Japanese literature, but also Chinese cultural product (prior to which we have the mist of global early peoples, China being reckoned as a 'cradle'). Secondly to identify the particular 'spirit' of haiku and find its universal application. This solves the equation of ELH (more generally, global haiku) and Japanese haiku/hokku). The difficulty in actually applying this equation in practice is one of mind-set. Here in the wicked West we are subjugated by rational thought inspired by scientific realism and its rampant consummation of technology and the latter's products. Consumerism. We are not physically connected to ourselves or the world of nature. Whereas, in the East, mythological thought is the substrate of the people's interface with actuality. The practice of haiku, using the equation of abstracted universals is the only way to correct this discrepancy. (This haiku lesson series will reflect that requirement.) As an aside, although haiku is being discussed the real deal is how we use our instrumentality for the best. Therefore 'whole brain utility' is one way of labelling this apparently simple and yet quite profound 'Raja Yoga for the people', notwithstanding haiku's affiliation with Shinto's animism, Confucianism, Taoism, Zen Buddhism...
However, the second version [see below] (perhaps too ambiguous without the backstory?) is more "naturally" fluid in that fewer caesura have been used. Jane Reichhold is, in her definitive book on the work of Basho, of the opinion that if caesura are to be employed at all, ONE should be sufficient.
2) (You mean, of course, that the first version has less caesura). Caesura are natural pauses between segments of text. They can be formalised by punctuation. A line break is a caesura. A line break can truncate a sentence (enjambment). The hemistich wafts around in all this. So, Jane (whose book is hardly "definitive", that could not possibly be, even if she were Japanese, and of the Edo period, which she is certainly not) is either misquoted, or in need of a serious review vis-à-vis her own understanding of grammar. The 'one breath' brevity of a haiku has its own natural musicality which should service the delivery of the haiku's particular experience. This music is assisted by caesura (et al). Caesura also open up 'dream-spaces' (ma) and keys meaning through emphasis. "ONE" caesura in a haiku is impossibly silly, it would mean having a very long section of total gobbledygook. That would be intrusive of the visualisation, which, after all, is the haiku text's primary job (and not much more).
What is your take on the use of caesura in ELH as a being somewhat analogous to the use of kireji (cutting words) in Japanese haiku? Do we use them as "direct translations" of English grammar (e,g. English grammar insists that there is a comma between "my lodger, Mrs Dusty Soider, on ....."), or do we break the English grammar rules to maintain the fluidity of the haiku?
3) There are certain 'grammar rules' which are typically discarded in ELH in order to separate a haiku's text from the distractions of linguistic habit.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=209993425715582
Another consideration is the target audience's sophistication. These two versions are an example of this (albeit also two standalone haiku, each with their own distinct experience). In the second example below there is no "just" about the fun of pushing the brevity envelope (to see what the limits are).
my lodger,
she plumps for many more—
on the fly
she plumps for many more,
my lodger, Mrs Dusty Spider—
on the fly
(Worth bearing in mind that the absence of a full stop at the end of a haiku is a caesura and, therefore, an entry into 'dream-space' (ma). By the way, ellipsis (...) can lead back to a haiku's start, and thus a circular reading - for whatever purpose.)
4)
my lodger on the fly
plumps for many more
Dusty Spiders
my lodger on the fly
plumps for many more
dusty spiders
ALSO SEE
MEMO: Must get a copy of Jane's Basho book. Along with Makoto Uedo's it would make a useful comparison. Like imagery in a haiku, the juxtaposition (toria wase) of their approaches and data would trigger, no doubt, useful intuitive input. Basho is the benchmark. To stand on his shoulders is the way forward.