curdled
ADDITIONAL TO APRIL 7, 2012
The Egg Moon,
finally— in a [curdled/coddled] sky,
comes to pass
haiku crossroads NOTE: We use the title of a particular moon name of our choice to signify the seasonal period. But, only on the appearance of the actual full moon do we prefix with a capitalised, 'The'. Hence, 'The Egg Moon', 'finally' arrives. However, the latter is academic and the effect of 'finally' in this post's haiku probably suggests the waiting for either the full moon night itself, and/or waiting to see the full moon peep through the intermittently obscuring 'curdled sky' (the latter being the unusual effect of some cirrus cloud cover last night). When the moon did appear through the interesting grays it was most aesthetic and beguiled the traveller to the point of nearly tripping several times! I took a few pics and do hope they develop well enough to post. . . .
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crossroader Synchronicity? How interesting your use of "curdled" ... my haiku written yesterday, posted along with a photo of daffoldils in Scotland:
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a lemon moon
curdles the clouds -
Dark Friday
- mmcg: Easter Friday, 6 April 2011
crossroader Ah, you've changed it to "coddled" - which is more egg-like, more appropriate to your ku than the way you originally wrote it with reference to the cirrus clouds. "....through the intermittently obscuring 'curdled sky' (the latter being the unusual effect of some cirrus cloud cover last night)"
haiku crossroads As a final thought on this thread (and the basis of a future, much needed, definitive dissertation). . . .
GENERAL NOTE
One's jury is still out on the use of 'coddled' as an optional variant of 'curdled' in this post's haiku. The reason being that 'coddled' manifests a literary construct, with a self-important inference, vis-à-vis the author's use of simplistic connotative language to impress the dozy global left-brain majority's sensate and intuitive myopia. I will monitor the two versions below for future reflection and active meditation:
The Egg Moon,
finally— in a coddled sky,
comes to pass
The Egg Moon,
finally— in a curdled sky,
comes to pass
It's a question of Eastertide symbolic reasoning and appropriate thematic presentation, rather than Smart Alec (first cousin to Clever Dick) superficial word-play. The former being somewhat pretentious and therefore distracting (obfuscating the deeper meanings) and intrinsically bland. Sadly, many would-be haikuists get stuck at this dreadfully shallow populist level.
The latter (original) version of this haiku is as it occurred during the original interactive experience, and thus, a lot more authentic, not to mention dramatic. Being that, 'curdled sky' better evokes, as it clearly does, a connotation of social humanity's profoundly misguided, egotistical confusion and existential error ('sin'). 'The Easter Moon' being Christian magic's ritual passion play variant of the perennial shamanic destruction / redemption technique, dynamically resurrecting any sincere player from a previously and pitifully low state of curdled consciousness.)
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Further muses on this crucial differential use of language in Proper Haiku will be entered on the following link (see index: 2012, April), should such insights come to pass over the next few years - https://sites.google.com/site/geodesiceye/
ALSO: 'mollycoddle' - http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/curiousm.htm
crossroader Both coddled and curdled are cookery terms. I am not sure how these terms can be construed as purely literary, or having a "self-important" inference in the context in which both haiku were written? Lemon (as in my ku) curdles ingredients (particularly eggs and butter) if not carefully added. This was how how I observed the full lemon coloured moon over Gatehouse of Fleet and the "curdled" clouds. Coddled eggs, however, are eggs slow cooked in an egg coddler. Your on going references to the Egg Moon, and finally the full moon, makes coddled (rather than curdled) more appropriate in your ku. However, I was surprised that you edited it after my initial comment, particularly in view of what your have said above! What was your reasoning for doing so?
haiku crossroads A final, final word, then. 'Coddled' is deemed too 'clever' and shallow an option. Too glib. I've popped 'curdled' back now, where it belongs and for my own reasons, which are reasonably clearly stated above. This sort of a distinction between various word options is worth considering when folks do haiku, though, and I intend to muse and see what ideas come to mind. It's a question of psychic depth evoked. Having said that,I'm sure most Western mindsets would find the wordplay version, using 'coddled', an easy and pleasant enough paddle in their old flip-flops, whilst maybe passing by the deeper offering, delivered by the use of 'curdled', mayhap for fear of drowning in their own subliminal morass. HSA would like the shallow version, would be my own guess. Let readers make up their own mind by perusing this site. . . .
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