Leaving the Soviet Union

"Life is given to a human being only once. It has to be lived not to have regrets later on in your life for being mean or for taking low-down actions. Life has to be lived feeling to be proud of yourself and not to feel ashamed for living your life without the goals and achievements." - these lines were taken from a famous book " How steel was tempered" written by a Soviet writer Nikolay Ostrovskyi and they became the moral code for the Soviet generation , who were young people in the 60s. This generation was known for its romanticism, even idealism. Friendship, love ,endless talks in search of understanding were the most important things in their lives for this generation. There was no much freedom yet, many things were half-forbidden but intellectuals started to push the boundaries.. They read the books written by Ernest Hemingway, Erik Maria Remark, John Steinberg and Russian poetry written by Eugenie Evtushenko, Andrei Voznesenskyi and Bella Akhmadulina It was romantic literature where word "Love " was not replaced by word "sex". Therefore it was believed that Vladimir Nabokov who wrote the notorious book" Lolita" was not a Russian writer. He was the writer who only wrote in Russian language.

Russian sense of humour was different from British. It implied wishful thinking so the old-fashioned moral code was changed into:" Life is given to a human being only once and it has to be lived in the West"

Many people were dreaming of leaving the USSR and creating a new wonderful life somewhere else. Maybe it was already a half-forbidden fruit, which everyone expects to be sweet. And now she was leaving the Soviet Union on her free will. It actually felt like tasting the forbidden fruit. The surprise and the secret came out. Friends and family were not amused. They were shocked.

. She felt like " Bold and adventurous" Eve" in the Garden of Eden." There were no sign of Adam who could reproach her and warn her of severe repercussions. She knew that "bold" and "adventurous " had negative connotations from the rest of the Muscovites. Here was this young Muscovite leaving to the west from Sheremetjevo International Airport in 1981. It was spring time, just right time for the new beginning, like in Renaissance: " The man can do all the things if he will". If the man could do, the woman could do too..." Man and woman were equal in Soviet Society. Where you were Germaine Greer then?

. Checking the luggage with Aeroflot she was asked: " "Do you smoke?"-

"My goodness! She is asking me to give her a cigarette. She is one of Russians" - she thought. And replied:" No. I haven't got a cigarette for you." . The soviet Etiquette allowed to come up to a stranger on the street, in the cafe or in the office where people worked together and to ask for a cigarette . Everything was supposed to be shared. We were members of one big Soviet Family and we were all equal : females and males, poor and rich, good-looking and unattractive, talented and meritocracies .Soviet Constitution had these rights written down. Gender was a bit confusing, especially regarding cigarettes. Once she had visitors in her Moscow apartment . They were married couple, Svetlana and Alik, both were intelligent, good-mannered and in general delightful people. Svetlana worked in International Tourism Commission, Alik had a well paid Government job, he was so called apparatchik . When the dinner was finished, Svetlana asked her husband to go outside and ask a cigarette from a passerby on the street. Alik refused. To do this was bad for his self-esteem . Svetlana tried to reason him saying: " I cannot go outside to the dark street and ask for a cigarette from a passerby because I Am a Woman . If I were a man - it will be another matter I I would go outside and ask a passerby to give me a cigarette" It was quite common to knock on the neighbour door and ask for a slice of bread, some milk of you run out of basic food. One could also borrow some chairs if you were having a party at home.. Small favours like that were done with kindness. Kindness was considered the best of all virtues. How it was in the West? Would I find the same kindness there? She did not know.

Leaving the Soviet Union.

Tanya Tsishevski March 2012