A Gambol of Limericks

A gambol (best collective noun I could think of) of Limericks.

On a wee little trip down to Limerick

Said our driver: “I’m a Protestant Catholic.

This conundrum for me

Is a grave one you see

Gettin’ the ‘ants’ out me Prod’s and the ‘micks’ out of me Cat’lics!

A young lady of Irish class upperly

Consumed too much Hennessy utterly.

Said the Judge: “ ‘Tis not your behaviour I mind

It’s rather for this that you’re fined

That your language was so utterly gutterly.”

There was a young lady named Sue

Went to the doctor with a case of the ‘flu

Said the doctor: “The ‘flu it is not!

But a too big belly you’ve got.

As to the father, do you have any clue?

A young lady Green from Limerick

Had married an Orange man, Frederick,

Both families agreed: “What a pity it be,

But it’s plain, can’t you see,

He can be neither Nationalist nor Repub(er)lic.”

Now Carmel has asked for a Limerick proper.

Begob, that’s an Irish request and a whopper!

Most limericks I know are improperly crude,

And so delightfully, deliciously rude.

Properly, our limerick must then be quite improbably improper.