Christmas Eve

It was Christmas Eve. Music was playing. Grandma was sipping a sherry. The ambience of the moment put Grandma in a thoughtful mood and she started to ponder the big questions of life. How did……..Why is……..Who could……..When will…….. The wisest people she knew to ask were her grandchildren. They have an answer for everything. As each grandchild came near, Grandma sat them down and asked, “Why is Rudolph’s nose so red and shiny?”

Thomas thought for a moment and replied. “He was born that way. You see Gran; it all comes down to genetics. Now listen carefully, as you may not quite grasp some of the concepts,” explained Thomas, “Rudolph’s parents each carried the recessive gene for red nose and he, being their offspring, received the recessive gene from both parents and thus the red nose was expressed. Do you get that Gran? Just like the gene for red hair. It’s all very simple if you think it out logically.”

“Mmmm” pondered Grandma as Elizabeth flitted past. “Tell me, Elizabeth, why does Rudolph stand out in the crowd?”

“Err. I don’t know about the red nose but maybe he lights up the sky for Santa with his shiny nose. You see, with such a nose, Rudolph can guide Santa through the stars. Just in case Santa should run into the Southern Cross or a constellation such as Orion or even the Milky Way Galaxy and get lost. We would not want that on Christmas Eve. Now would we, Gran?”

“A very good point, Elizabeth” replied Grandma.

“Rosemary, can you spare me a moment to sit down and to give me your words of wisdom? Rosemary rolled her eyes, tossed her head and gave Grandma a look that said, that is such a childish and foolish question to ask.

‘Silly me’ thought Grandma.

The next Grandchild to come by was Natasha. “Yes, Gran, I know why Rudolph has a red nose. He had a fight with the other reindeers to see who would be leader and he got bumped on the nose. His nose was so red and so big that he took out his polishing cloth and polished it until it was so shiny that he stood out amongst the reindeers. Santa noticed Rudolph and decided to let him lead the other reindeers. He was very happy being the team leader of the Christmas sleigh ride.”

“Oh! Natasha. That was naughty of Rudolph to fight with the other reindeers,” replied Grandma.

“No Gran, it’s natural for animals to fight. They do it all the time in the wild.”

Rebecca came skipping towards Grandma. “Come here Rebecca, and tell me your thoughts about Rudolph’s nose.”

“I think,” replied Rebecca, “that, as he was prancing about as reindeers do, he fell over and bumped his nose. His nose was very sore so he tried to put on a bandaid but it wouldn’t stick as his nose was too wet and shiny. Then he tried to bandage his nose but the bandage would not stay on. That is why he has a red and shiny nose, Grandma”

“A very interesting theory there Rebecca.” replied Grandma.

Daniel was tearing about the house as Grandma tried to ask him this same question. “Haven’t got time, Gran” he yelled. “I’ve got to chase Thomas. He has my cricket bat.” Daniel thought for a moment then came back to grandma and said, “Maybe, he was running so fast he got all

hot and bothered and his nose turned red. Just like yours, Gran, when you get hot and bothered.”

“OH DEAR” murmured grandma as she took a gulp of her sherry.

“And, maybe he used a magic spell from his Book of Magic Tricks to make his nose shiny. Will that do Grandma?”

Yes, darling” answered a red faced Gran.

“Can I make a cake for Santa and put lots of Nutella in it and cover it with Nutella icing?” Well, not now Lucy,” explained Grandma, “maybe later but can you explain how Rudolph got his red nose?”

“Easy Grandma, Jack Frost, the goblin, froze his nose so cold that it swelled into a big red shiny ball. The fairies saw what had happened to Rudolph and decided to try to help. They chased after Jack Frost and had lots of adventures but the fairies couldn’t find the magic spell so Rudolph has to live with his red and shiny nose forever.”

”I like that explanation Lucy,” said Grandma.

Grandma saw Isaac drawing monsters in his book. “Come over here Isaac, I want to know what happened to Rudolph’s nose”

Isaac looked very serious as he thought about the problem. “Maybe his nose was hit by a meteorite as he was racing across the sky or maybe there were lots and lots of aliens. Great ugly aliens with one eye in the middle of their face and with eight arms; some dangling and some waving. In spaceships too, zooming to earth from Jupiter and they bumped into Rudolph giving him a red nose.”

“That sounds really scary Isaac,” Grandma nervously replied.

“Don’t be scared, Gran, because my Dad is so big he will protect you and Mum will make you a cup of tea.”

‘That would be lovely!’ thought Grandma

Alice came along for a Granny cuddle and said, “Can I sing you ‘Jesus Christ Boy Child’?” “Yes, dear but before you do, tell me why Rudolph has a red and shiny nose.”

“I think that Rudolph is a handsome reindeer prince and some wicked witch cast an evil spell on him. The witch made his nose red and shiny and he is sad and lonely now. He has to wait for a beautiful reindeer princess to kiss him on the nose to break the spell. No-one wants to kiss a reindeer with a red and shiny nose. I feel very sad for Rudolph. Do you think that if I could kiss him he would get better?”

Grandma said, “Yes, indeed Alice. Any kiss from you is wonderful!”

Grandma heard a terrible noise as Jake came thundering into the room. “Grrrrrr……” growled Jake, the dinosaur.

Grandma looked frightened but said, “I have an important question for you Jake. Do you know the Christmas song about Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer?”

“Yes,” he replied, “we sing it at day care.”

“Well, can you solve this problem for me? How did Rudolph get a red and shiny nose?”

“Yes Grannie, I can solve all your problems.” said Jake, “Rudolph was eating grass and hay in the reindeer stables when along came a t-rex and biffed him on the nose with his huge claws. T-rex’s are huge and scary. My mummy reads me scary stories about Tyrannosaurus-rex when I wear my T-rex costume.”

“I really like your scary explanation Jake,” answered Grandma, “but I wouldn’t want a biff on my nose from a T-rex.”

“Grrrrr…..” said Jake with outstretched claws and a dinosaur grin.

Grandma thought for a while and said, “Listen children, I’ll tell you my version of how Rudolph got a red and shiny nose. I think Rudolph was eating Jaffa’s from a packet and a Jaffa got stuck on the end of his nose.”

“Oh really, Gran!” said Rosemary in an exasperated tone of voice. “Why does Rudolph have to have a red and shiny nose?”

Alice replied, “I would like him to have a rainbow one. Can I sing you ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow’?

“Later, Alice.” said Rosemary. “But a rainbow ice cream nose sound yummy to me. He could lick his nose if he gets too hot as he journeys across the sky.”

“Yes!” chorused the children, “Rudolph, the rainbow ice cream nose reindeer although it doesn’t sound as good as “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.”

“I like the rainbow ice cream nose theory best” said Rebecca in a sweet and ice creamy voice

“Let’s have a rainbow ice cream, now” yelled Thomas as everyone rushed to the kitchen to the sounds of Alice’s lilting voice, “Thome where ober de wainbow”.