Would I, Could I, Should I?

I saw her as she walked into the store. I could not take my eyes away from her elegance, her beauty, her loveliness. My eyes were transfixed upon her exquisite face, a face revealing no emotion. I could not stop my eyes following her every move. I watched as she approached the apple counter. She looked at the apples as if she was studying them. Was she looking for her favourite coloured apples? Or looking for those apples that may be invitingly crisp and delicious? I could not tell. Finally, she picked up a green shiny apple in one hand and in the other hand, a red apple. She looked from one hand to the other as if weighing up the merits of each apple. I thought, ‘Which apple will she chose? Will it be the red apple or the green apple? Or will she decide to buy both apples?’

I could see that she was having trouble making up her mind. She looked hesitant and rather confused in her actions. She has made up her mind, I thought, as she extended the hand holding the green apple towards the counter. However, she quickly withdrew the hand. She looked again at the red apple and went through the same routine. She repeated the actions several times and I could see that her indecision was quickly becoming a problem for her. I asked myself, “Why couldn’t she make up her mind? Was she always like this with her decision making or was it a one off affair? Was she indecisive as a child? Or were the apples to blame for her hesitancy and uncertainty? Why has she not tried to get help?” I could feel my curiosity increasing as I watched her trying to resolve which apple to chose. Will it be the green or the red apple? I wondered, “How sad for someone so lovely to be burdened with such a simple decision. Someone, who on the surface appears to have everything and to be self assured, but who cannot make the choice between a red and a green apple. How could she cope with life’s more important choices?”

As she continued measuring and weighing the worth of each apple, tears started to well in her lovely eyes. I should have looked away but I was bewitched by her beauty but, at the same time, puzzled by those tears. Questions I could not answer were running through my brain. “What did those apples mean to her?” I could not hope to understand. As her tears started to roll down her cheek, she fumbled for a handkerchief. As she wiped away her tears, she quickly replaced both apples and hurriedly left the store. I watched her as she continued down the mall, her shoulders heaving with each sob. She disappeared from view and I was left wondering why those apples caused her so much distress. What should I have done? What would I have done? And lastly, what could I have done to ease her very public pain and distress?

I should have approached and spoken to her. I could have asked her if I could help her make the decision. I would have solved her indecision. I should have been a comfort to her. I would have taken the red and green apples from her hands and placed them in my hands. I could have said to her, “I’m going to help you make the decision. I know that the red apple is sweet and quite delicious. I also know that the green apple is tart and crisp. Which apple do you prefer to eat?” Would I have helped or pleased her? Am I the sort of person who could self assuredly approach a total stranger to help make such a decision? Should I have the nerve to do so? I cannot answer those questions.

Her tears wrenched my heart apart. How would I cope with her tears? I know that I always want to stop tears. It is a part of my weakness as a person. I do not like seeing someone in distress and I tend to withdraw although I hoped that her tears may have helped to release the tensions building within and she would not need my help.

What could be the sadness she was experiencing? As I thought about her tears and indecision, I reasoned that maybe her tears and sadness were not one of indecision. Maybe, it was another difficulty of which I had no way of knowing. What could be the sadness she was experiencing? Maybe the apples had nothing to do with her unhappiness. I felt rather foolish thinking that her only problem was the choice between the green and red apple. There were so many possibilities for her distress. Could it be the loss of a lover, a parent, a job, of having children, even the loss of an argument? I would never know. As I watched her disappear crying down the mall, I knew that I should have touched her hands to let her know that I could share her sadness, that she was not alone and that maybe, I would have been a comfort to her.

But, I was torn between her privacy and my desire to help. Would I, should I, could I have the confidence to be able to approach this beautiful stranger offering support or assistance? How would I, could I, should I be so bold as to offer to solve her problem? My mind was in a dilemma. My problem was almost as great as hers. Should I have helped her? Could I have helped her? And lastly, would I have helped her?