Those Two Little Words

It was late on Saturday afternoon on the 26th August, 1961 when I said those two little words that were to herald changes throughout the rest of my life.

The first change was adapting to sharing my bed, something which I found quite difficult, although there were satisfying fringe benefits which more than compensated for any sleep disturbances.

The next change was to my vocabulary. No longer was it “me” but “we”, no more “mine” but now “ours”. Subtle changes no doubt, but it did take some time to appreciate the full import of these changes. No longer could I do just as I pleased with my spare time, it was a case of considering someone else and involving her in the planning. Usually this involved a change in the plans – in some cases, completely abandoning them, all in the cause of domestic harmony.

Then came the time to move from our comfortable, centrally located half-a-house to a home of our own. This caused radical changes. No more carefree weekends. Instead, buy a mower and gardening tools because there were weekend duties to be performed in the yard. These were not entirely unfamiliar responsibilities but then came the request for a concrete path to the clothes line, so new skills had to be learnt. Then :

“I don’t like that wallpaper. You need to strip it off and paint the room.”

Naturally I complied.

Then – “Don’t you think it’s time we started a family?” – So I took considerable pleasure in ensuring the desired outcome.

The changes then really began – and I don’t mean nappy changes! Nights of disturbed sleep. Sudden howls at all hours of the day and night – my peaceful existence was shattered. Time was no longer measured in hours and minutes, it was divided into feeding time, sleeping time, bath time and play time. Activities had to be planned around the baby’s routine. Even mowing the lawn had to be done in the time remaining between sleeping times.

But all things shall pass and a normal life began to emerge. There were some differences from before the arrival of our daughter but these could be easily accommodated till the comment

“Don’t you think the baby’s room should be repainted?”

That was easily achieved, but then the other rooms looked a little tired, so more paint and rollers and brushes and I laboured through my “holidays”.

“It looks great inside now doesn’t it. Do you think you could paint the outside now?”

Purchased scaffolding and ladders and hung on like grim death with a ten foot drop beneath my feet as I transformed the outside from a faded white to a glowing pale yellow.

“I was an only child and I’d hate to think that our daughter didn’t have a brother or a sister when she grows up.”

So I rose appropriately to the occasion and lo and behold – our daughter had a brand new sister.

More changes. Actually it was largely a case of revisiting the recent past. Sleep deprivation, was to be expected but then there was the additional responsibility of chasing a toddler and rescuing her from precarious positions because, unlike her older sister, this one was a climber!

Changes at home were precipitated by my transfer to a new position. Forget about the changes at work!

“You know, if we moved, we could buy a larger house that would be a bit closer to your new position so that you didn’t have to drive across the city each day.”

Once again I complied with what appeared to be a reasonable request. Changes! And how!

Dig drains, lay agricultural pipes and then clear the block.

“I’d like the clothes line here where there will be plenty of sun and there should be a good breeze.”

The fact that “here” just happened to the spot where a large gum tree stood didn’t seem to be apparent! Took to an axe and swung away till an obliging neighbour assisted with his chain saw, then there were weekends of wheelbarrowing tons of ash and soil to level the virgin plot until finally it was time to plant the lawn, sprig by sprig.

Watched the girls and the grass grow and adapt to new routines as the years passed by. Netball games, homework, parent/teacher evenings and the P & C all claimed time, then came university and the boyfriends. Another change was on its way. Always having prided myself on remembering people’s names, I made the disastrous mistake of calling a couple of lads by the wrong names – hereafter, they all became “mate”.

Then came the greatest change of all – the dreaded men-o-pause.

Tread gently – speak only when absolutely sure that you wouldn’t say the wrong thing and be prepared to be blamed for anything and everything. Sympathise when headaches strike and still share the bed through the hot flushes – experience them myself when bedclothes were flung willy-nilly during the winter and then suffer cold knees in the middle of the back when the winter chill takes over. This was a most interesting ongoing change.

And so daughter one flies the coop to work in the big smoke, so adjust to the house with only one daughter, till she too flies to live alone in her own apartment.

Retirement is reached, so more changes are experienced. Silence and tranquillity once more reign throughout the household and once more the couple was able to resume their lives together.

Then there were the introductions to strange young fellows found wandering in Sydney. These young chaps began to visit with greater frequency until there was the announcement of an engagement – then a wedding.

“Our oldest daughter has bought a house and she needs you to help with the painting. You will do it won’t you dear!”

So I was once again donning my painter’s clothes and within a couple of years we became grandparents! I still felt too young for that role but slowly it dawned on me that I was sleeping with a grandmother – Shock! Horror!

More changes!

Time flew by and within a the blinking of an eye (actually it was four years) our second grandson arrived. Their house was now too small.

“We’ll have to help them move, won’t we!”

That one move wouldn’t have been too demanding, but it was followed in quick succession by a further three house moves.

“We’ll have to help them again, especially with two young children.”

Changes happening so quickly that my head spun.

Daughter two became engaged and married and moved into a house in need of painting.

“Now that you’re retired, you’ll be able to help them with their painting, won’t you!”

Guess what – more painting!

Time passed and we were presented with a grand-daughter. Shortly afterwards there’s a phone call from the new mother.

“Dad we’ve bought a new house. It’s a lot easier to paint it when it’s empty isn’t it?”

“Of course,” replied an unsuspecting Dad.

“You’ll have to help them because they’re both working such long hours.”

Once again the painting clothes were resurrected. Holy Cow! – It was a huge three storied house!

Job done, it’s time for some overseas travels till our passports needed to be renewed. I’d well and truly enjoyed the travel but I’m told,

“I can’t stand the long plane trips and the constant packing and unpacking, so I’m not renewing our passports.”

“Bugger!” – I had a few more places I wanted to visit. But I didn’t want to cause an argument.

Painting needed to be done around our own home and it necessitated using ladders. But

“You can’t go climbing around like that – you’re too old. We’ll get someone in to do it.”

So once again I resignedly acquiesced with those two now VERY familiar words, “Yes Dear.”

However, the following ensued – “You said that you’d paint the wrought iron but the rain had stopped you. Do you intend to do it soon?”

“Yes dear.”

“Will you leave that computer and come and have your dinner while it’s still hot!”

“Yes dear.”

Based on life experience – only a few facts have been altered and

names have been deliberately omitted to protect the author, A. Nonny Mouse

It is creative writing after all, isn’t it??