By Annia Gutierrez
When I first started working on this project I was torn between two articles, both equally life-changing, both equally important, both with a message. I stopped for a moment and realize why chose? Why chose if I can share both, share those stories that might've been left behind. The title of the page is "The fear within" because both poems represent what it feels like to be trapped in a toxic place with no one on your side, and having to pretend everything is okay when your abuser walks away free.
To my abuser
By Annia Zavala
She said “Please help! He’s done this for a while”
They said “We’re sorry but there will be no trial”
He said “She’s on her period, don’t give her any mind”
He walked through the door
Already angry over money
“Please don’t! I wasn’t aware of its cost”
My husband looked and said
“Too late. The money’s already lost”
The kids looked in horror
“Why is daddy doing that to mommy?”
Asked the little one
My older child couldn’t bear it,
He ran away pulling on his brother
To my abuser I say,
This changes now
To the cops I say,
I thought you took a vow
From now, to forever,
The law will protect them
To my abuser I say,
You were my husband,
And so it wasn’t rape
It’s 1981, and to my abuser I say
You’ll be free in 20 years,
But you’re dead to me
Goodbye forever,
Your future ex-wife.
1981 was the year in which the government allowed you to charge your partner with rape even if you were married.
This poem represents the life and experiences of a woman who was a victim of his husband continuously, without the possibility to receive any help from the police, because according to them "there were no signs of rape" just because they were a married couple with 2 little boys.
Her story appeared in the New York Times and created a fuzz in society, especially among the white men in society, however, women were finally able to have justice for the abuse they've suffered.
Men charged with rape under marriage were given 20 years in prison as a sentence, but their wives were able to walk out free from a toxic place and constant abuse.
This moment in time was a historical event that forever changed the voice of women in abuse situations.
Just like these women, many women were victims without a hero, but in 1981 that changed. For the first time, women spoke up and were heard.
For me, this was the begging of a revolution. A revolution that we're still fighting to this day.
REFERENCE:
By J.C. BARDEN. (1981, Apr 19). Rape in marriage defined: Rape law extended. New York Times (1923-) Retrieved from http://login.ezproxy1.lib.asu.edu/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/historical-newspapers/rape-marriage-defined/docview/121477446/se-2?accountid=4485
In 1993, an elementary school principal (female) decided to put herself first among the safety of one of her students.
An 8-year-old was raped by one of the male professors at the school, however, when the concerned parents of the child came to speak to the principal (female) she told the parents she'll report it to the police, however she kept it to herself.
According to the police reports, the principal decided it was in the best interest of the school, because if a "Sex scandal" (as she called it) was known it would only bring bad press to the institution.
After further investigation the culprit was arrested, however, the Bronx school board decided to let the principal walk out free.
This story was published in the New York Times and for me, it represents the self-preservation theory that says people will choose their own good before someone else's.
Besides that, this moment created a debate in society regarding how a principal, a person of power betrayed an innocent girl to preserve herself.
The principal was supposed to protect her, walk along with her and be there if needed. The moment she decided to protect herself probably created a whole new meaning in life for that little girl.
REFERENCE:
By, J. B. (1993, Feb 24). No charges against the principal in rape inquiry: At issue: The handling of an 8-year-old's account of rape. CITY no charges against the principal in rape inquiry. New York Times (1923-) Retrieved from http://login.ezproxy1.lib.asu.edu/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/historical-newspapers/no-charges-against-principal-rape-inquiry/docview/109211778/se-2?accountid=4485
From an 8-year-old
By Annia Zavala
A sex scandal in school” I hear,
But the meaning is nowhere near
Breakfast was pizza that day
When he walked into the room
And asked to play a game
“Is it a music play?” I asked
Or why are we on the stage
By the end of the day,
He was happy, and I was on display
To my principal, I ask,
Why wasn’t he unmasked
She chose her own good,” The cops said
All I wanted was to play outside
He took me in, almost end up clean
Just so you could avoid
What came within
8 years old and forever changed
All because you miss explained
8 years old and already fed
Fed to believe, she was at fault
Dear Mrs. Principal,
Why would help him
When he’s just a criminal
Cops find him guilty after week 3
But Mrs. Principal,
You get to walk out free
After helping him do that to me
8 years old and in disbelief
Is this how it’ll always be?
Dear Mrs. Principal
You’re the cause of all my fears