Love

• For my father is the greatest love. Such a love I imagine to be between me and my children…

• Could you describe what happens to you here that you name “love”?

• I don’t understand…How can I describe it?

• Let’s guess that I am a stranger who doesn’t know the word “love” and you have to explain it by paraphrasing it. What would you say to me?

• I’ve taken some of his nice (characteristics), his kindness, his warmth…

• Therefore “love” here means that you are his extension in a way…

To Breathe…

(He wants to write something for his sister who died young.)

- Not for me, to be atoned, but for her. To breathe…

Fewer commitments…

(He wants fewer commitments…)

- I need this space, the meaningless.

I will kill myself

(With restrained despair…)

• I almost can’t stand it. I am to the limit.

- What if this moment, that you really are to the limit, come? How do you see that moment?

- I will kill myself…

- In what way? Have you ever thought about it?

- I have though it. With my motorcycle, in a turn of the road to Varkiza, that I like, or by jumping from a rock.

- What is in these ways that attracts you more than others.

- It is the acceleration. It is my best, especially in the airplane when it takes off.

- What is about acceleration?

- It sticks you on the seat…you can’t do anything.

- If, therefore, you could untie yourself from the myth that everywhere you have to and you can do something, you would have this kind experience in your life too.

- Lately, I’ve experienced it once or twice…How nice things being stronger sometimes!

an old song

(She is very worried about her separation, who is responsible, if she had done differently etc.)

- If, instead of no, he were killed in an accident?

(Very often there is, actually, no difference to the given moment)

I am thinking of an old song, the irresistible acceptance of end:

When a love we thought eternal/ inevitably reaches / miserable two existences with agony / see the moment coming/ when their love will look like tyranny / then their pain will place together / a rock behind them will throw / and farewell…

I wanted you to give me a hug

• In the beginning I wanted you to give me a hug, to tell me “Don’t worry, it’s okay…Everything is going to be fine…” And even if I did not hear these words I took that hug.

without any passion

(With an emphatic tone, almost dramatic:)

• If I cut myself they will say incapable…

(Me without passion / any tension to my voice)

- And what is the difference between capable and incapable said by them?

if you love me…

A psychoanalyst in a social gathering with a client of mine. “They love us (the clients) because we love them.” She to me:)

• If you love me, I can’t tell you whatever and in any way.

I’m going to lose S…

• I’m going to lose S…, I feel insecure.

• You could tell these without tension, what the tension itself says?

Sun doesn’t shine because of pride…

(On her tendency to criticize and evaluate.)

-Sun doesn’t shine because of pride and clouds are not getting red because of shame.

Him at yes-and-no…

(Problem with his girlfriend, she wants them to live together and he is at yes and no. As the conversation goes on he says that at various states/situations he is different, of other age, with a corresponding figure. I ask him :)

-At the yes-and-no which figure says yes? Which says no?

A little click…

(Resented with an employee who has an opinion upon everything, a know-all e.t.c)

-But still, just a little click is needed to see this employee with love.

There is no obligation!

- Everything is obligatory relationships.

-There is no obligation!

-How come?

- Duty often has the form of hostage. But such a hostage is a ghost, a fairy-tail.

-And what about the obligation towards the mother etc?

-There are obligations that are not hostage but favor.

Her cat died…

(Her cat died, she can’t, it’s impossible for her to take another.)

-Your cat is still there, is present at home. Home is not empty. How you could take another?

You should learn being sad / worrying…

(When something does not work out, there is anger, reaction. I invite him to observe step by step what happens to him. Prior anger he is sad.)

-You don’t pay any attention at sadness, you skip it / ignore it and you stick to the anger. What if the point here is to get familiarized with sadness? To learn being sad?

Come to help me…

-Come to help me…

-If I were coming where we would be?

-With my mum, to protect me from her.

-That’s it with the mum and the dad. I come and throw you out of the house…Out in the street all alone to find your destiny…

-You are talking to another person deep inside of me who listens of you and agrees. It’s just that I am not identifying with her…And where you will be?

-Nowhere.

-Why nowhere?

-Because this is my job.

You are not talking about yourself…

-What kind of session is this? You are not talking about yourself…

-If we knew each other in another way and we were saying to meet at your home this would not be a session?

Can I tell a lie?

-Where did you go on vacation? Will you tell me?

-Can I tell a lie? To Andros!

Counting the gulps…

(he is drinking water counting the gulps…)

-You have never satisfied your thirst until now.

When you are groundless…

-Every word when you are groundless, a stab!

Why we call them islands?

-Why we call them islands. Since we call them islands.

Now one understands unconscious…

-Now one understands unconscious, how it is. You say, where was it and I just remembered it?

With fewer ego…

(he speaks about occasions where he was in another way than the usual, such a case when possible cancer was diagnosed, another by swimming with his sister and playing in the sea, one with his uncle going to the snow.)

In all these moments he was happy, meaning lightsome, meaning into his life, meaning (after my comment):

- With fewer ego…

Criticism of criticism

-I am criticizing others and that bothers me a lot, criticizing them.

-Therefore, it is like you are in between of two opposing mirrors where you see your idol countless times. Criticism of criticism of criticism…

Waiting for an explanation

(Lately his girlfriend distant, flying off, him flowing, waiting for an explanation.)

-If you had a similar relationship with an animal, how would you behave?

Be afraid

-Tell me what to do with my fear.

-Be afraid.

Like my ears unsealed

-Like my ears were unsealed and I heard her (refusing hug, protection). That’s it with the phone calls, the “why you don’t love me?”. Just like that without why.

voice that I am trapping my self

- It was such a powerful voice that I’m trapping my self… I couldn’t understand it… he was so nice… it was so strong…

Openness for the “deaf” / unsaid

(A woman about what she has learned from the analysis.)

-The openness to the “deaf”/ unsaid