Emotional Intelligence

Session Summary

During the last class we covered the following

• Not taking things personally, or "It's not about you". Sometimes people respond not to you personally but because something else going on in their lives. If you get an inadequate reaction, talk to the person and find out what else may be going on in their lives.
• Difference between a good communicator and a bad one (being curious, respectful, present, using feedback - checking if the partner is engaged in a conversation).
• Being present is a quality of a good communicator. We practice being present by bringing our awareness to our senses, our breath and what we feel at the moment.
• Conversation skills: making sure to understand what partner is telling you. We practiced listening and summarizing what the partner is telling us.
• Body language: difference between what is going on with the person's face and body and how we interpret it. We watched a video of someone's monologue and tried to describe what we see versus how we interpret it (e.g. see: the brows are going up, interpret: the person is surprised)
• Role play conflicting situations: a father-rabbit wants his son to stop eating carrots and watching TV and practice running, to be able to run away from foxes and wolves. But all the son wants is to be left alone. We looked at what the dad feels (concerned) but the only way to get the son to respond (besides punishing) is to engage in what's important to the son, to create a connection.
• Uncomfortable game. Kids who participated in a trial session had a chance to go outside of their comfort zone and get a trophy for what they've accomplished. There were lots of great things done by kids: starting conversations with somebody new, making a compliment, asking for help, offering help, eating healthy food that they didn't like, doing things for the first time (riding a horse, feeding a cat) as well as creating new habits (starting reading daily, etc)

Uncomfortable game

This is a game we play between the classes where kids get a chance to get trophies by recording the times when they go outside of their comfort zone. These could be doing something voluntarily that they don't like doing, are afraid of, not used to, breaking habits, doing something they've never done before, etc.

While the main focus is on the social interactions anything counts, such as eating foods they don't like, trying new things, etc.

Uncomfortable challenges for the next week:

Younger group

Each challenge is 2 points.

1. Make a request where you expect a "no". Asking family members doesn't count. For example, ask someone at school who you think doesn't like you if they want to be your friend.
2. Practice conversation skills: make sure you understand what your partner is saying by repeating / summarizing what they are saying.
3. Give a present to somebody for no reason.

Older group

Each challenge is 2 points. You get extra 5 points for completing all 4 challenges.

1. Make a new friend
2. Talk to someone you don't know
3. Practice conversation skills: make sure you understand what your partner is saying by repeating / summarizing what they are saying.
4. Tell your parents something embarrassing that you did.

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