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She turns 8 years old this month. Then I had a miscarriage in 2014. Husband and I initially only wanted 2–2 1/2 years between kids. But I miscarried and wasn’t ready for a while. I had to deal with a lot of devastation for this little life that I had so deeply wanted. I still know in my heart that the baby would have been a boy. In 2015, over a year after my miscarriage, I was ready. 10 months later, my son was born. Almost 3 years and 9 months, after my oldest was born, at the age of 24, I was graced with my sweetest rainbow boy. Looking back, it was like I was in a fog of pain and confusion for about a year and a half. It all culminated in a hitting rock bottom one night and wanting to kill me. I think it was just a deep desire to have that phase of my life die, and a new one begins. It did, and things are good!
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