OUR FATHER!

OUR FATHER!

Our Father who art in Heaven, hollow be thy name. They Kingdom come, thy will be done. On Earth as it is in Heaven. Please take care of our father who went home to be with you this day! Love him and cherish him as we did on earth. For our fathers love will always remain in our hearts. We have gone through the good times and even though those bad times our Father in Heaven pulled us though. Allowing us to forgive our dad through those bad times of pain. We had the chance to love him and to know him the way we should. For Father in Heaven says we should forgive seventy times seven. We are so glad we did. Our father on earth taught us so many things but what he left us was his love and he loved all his children just the same! His grandchildren will never forget those days playing video games to see who could beat grandpa who never lost a game! His great - grandchildren climbing up on his lap to gave him one big hug. He would hug them back telling them how much he loves them.

He was not just our father but he was a brother as well, and his brother and sisters will always remember the fun times they had growing up with our father when he was a child as well, as an adult with those playing golf with him that he loved so much.

His nieces and nephews will always remember those roller skating days and trying to skate better them him, but he out danced us all on those roller skates! The times spent with him at our family gatherings and playing baseball at Bucktails and swimming at the lake at our half-way picnics. He would want us to remember all the good times we had.

He left this world with his dignity in-tacked he would have it no other way! That is how stubborn he was. After his loved ones left for the day. So tired was he that he fell asleep to rest in his favorite chair without anyone fussing over him. Father in Heaven knew what was best. So gentle was he to take our Father home to him while he slept. So peacefully he went is just what we prayed for him. As we weep we shall remember those wonderful days well spent with our father who loved us so.

He is at peace now with our mother who went on before him. But yet the love there was so strong, that he fought for his life until just the right time. He will be buried with her on the same day she had been buried but yet 33 years apart. But our Father in Heaven’s timing is just every so right. To bring our whole family together again on that one day of great pain that we buried our mother. Was only to show us how strong his love for her was forever so now he can rest in peace being with her once more.

Our father will be sadly missed by all his love ones and friends.

But His love will stay with us forever more.

"Copyright 2008"

Jacqueline L. Greek

Children:

Sonja A Bowser

Jacqueline L. Greek

Theresa L. Rodgers

James E. Mast 111

Jim & Nancy Mast Taken Aug, 1975

Mom passed away on December 16, 1975 Buried on December 19, 1975 Dad passed away on December 11, 2008. His memorial service on December 19, 2008

His ashes were buried on top of her casket on the same day she was laid to rest but 33 yeas apart.

Jackie, Jim Our Father Sonja Terri

This photo was the last photo we had with our dad at Terri's home for a family gathering.

My Niece Ann her husband Ben took the photo with his cell phone. 09/15/2007

The hat he is wearing Sonja's husband Chuck had it made special order for my dad. The name on the hat is the name of the ship he was on in 1950's. He spent a lot of his time in Japan. When he was in the Koran War.

There are no more words to express how I feel right now, but knowing he is in a better place and with my mother and God has forgiven my dad is all that matters now. I know it was God's timing for the day of the memorial service to be held on that day none of us will ever forget! But we know our father he would not have it any other way, he did not want anyone fussing over him and changing any plans anyone may have.

This was made by my niece Joy who put in family photos in memories of her grandpa. The night he passed on to be with the Lord, she spent nearly 4 hours with him and sitting right beside him.

She played this at his memorial service. But with his favorite song from Johnny Cash, walking the line, but do copy right laws, I can not play that one, I had to go with this one from you tube. That still fit in with his life.

To understand the pain we had on December 19, 1975 through our mothers death, please read what God had taught me on how to forgive my dad as well as my sisters and brother had to learn to forgive him as well.

To understand where I am coming from I need to go back as to what had happen after my mothers death. And why I felt the way I did what I gone through at this time of my life.

I was married and divorce in 1985. I kept my married name to hide from who I really was. It was not just to hide from people in this small town but to hide from my first husband, I was married two times, the second marriage I did go into detail with him and little on my second marriage on the poem Back burner.

I just did not want anyone to know what my maiden was.

I had too many people back in 1975-1979 that would come up to me and say; I know your dad he went out hunting and came home and shot your mom and with family on the police force he got off on murder charges! I was also having trouble with my step-mother who refused to let me talk to my dad as well.

When he married her, she did not included 4 kids to this marriage. She wanted just my dad and her own children (Ben & Andy) and she was doing whatever she could to keep me from my dad, I think back now that is she did not want me to tell him the truth about her, that did not come out until after he divorce her. (I wrote about this in the poem called Detours.) I ended up having a breakdown in 1979. She refused to let me see my father as well as what other people were saying to me about my dad. I just could not take it any longer I just wanted to die. My aunt Lois called my Dr and got me in the hospital.

My aunt and uncle from Eastlake Ohio came and took me home with them. I had a new life there with them. They sent me to school for keypunching. My first job I was fired from because of an car accident I was in, I was not ready to go back to work but I tried to, and because I could not go back at that time they let me go. The second job was working with Blue Cross and they fired me because I needed knee surgery and they did not want to pay for it!

They asked me to quit then after the surgery they would re-hire me. I found out that if I would quit my insurance was dropped right away, but if I was fired I had a 15 day grace period to get the surgery in before they fired me. So that is what I did, I let them fire me.

With them firing me like they did, a friend of my dad's heard about it and she worked for the Cleveland Plain Dealer and she did a huge news article on me getting fired. I was then asked to come back to work; I refuse the offer and went back to waiting on tables.

Everything seemed stacked up against me, I just could not seem to get ahead and find a life with out pain! No matter how hard I tried to lead a normal life something always happen that kept be back from doing what I wanted to do. I was looking for a way out and find someone who would just love me. I just wanted to be happy and hid from my past and who I really was.

Then I met my first husband. Long story here I do not want to or need to write on here. That part story is also on the poem called Back Burner. All I am going to say is I did a really stupid thing getting married to him all he wanted was a green card to stay in the United States. The only good thing out of this was my daughter who was a blessing to me at the very right time in my life. Even though at that time my life had been turn upset down and I almost put her up for adoption. I just could not do it.

I had my baby, then got the divorced and made plans to move back to Pa. She was in a foster home for 8 months in Cleveland Ohio; at that time I had no one to help me with her. I had to have major surgery on my jaw again and my older sister broke her leg in 5 places. I had no other options but to place her in foster care. God put her in a wonderful home with a loving couple to this day I am still in touch with! I was more then ready to build a new life here with my daughter.

I moved back here in March 1984 for a short time then move to North Bend Oregon in March1985 when I married again. That did not last long all. Then back to Pa, to raise my daughter alone with the help of my family.

I could not run or hide any longer from whom I really am. I had to deal with my mom's death and find closure with it. Only with God could he showed me how to do that. Yes there is a poem on that, Fog of Confusion and Who I Am?

My dad had accidentally shot my mother. He had gone out hunting and something happen in the woods that he forgot to finished unloading his deer rifle. This was on December 16, 1975. My dad was home cleaning the rifle sitting in his chair in the living. My mom came in and started to talk to my dad. My older sister Sonja was standing in the doorway behind my mom. When the rifle went off. The bullet went all the way through her and hit the doorway just missing my sister by inches!

I was on the school bus with my younger sister Terri and a few of my cousins as well, when we seen the rescues squad and the police all at my house! We ran off the bus an into the house only to be pushed back outside by one of the police officer who was a friend of my dad's.

My family was part of the police department in this town. My grandfather started the auxiliary police dept. My dad was on it as well. And my uncle was also on the police force so this was all family and friends here. Then they brought my mom out on the stretcher telling me it was just a shoulder wound and she would be all right! I seen the bandage on her chest and knew it was no shoulder wound! I could not get the words out to tell my mom I was sorry and how much I loved her! I was in shocked!

My older Sonja came over to us and told us what happen. Then she ran outside and went across the street to the fire department and got help.

She left to go to the hospital; my grandfather told me to stay here and clean up the blood in the living room before my 9 year old brother came home. I looked at the plaster on the floor and started to pick it up; under the plaster was half a bullet! I sat on the floor and cried as I held this bullet in my hand knowing my mom was fighting for her life! My Grandfather came over to me and took the bullet he had been looking for.

Told me to try and find the other half which bounced off the wall over the couch. "It was not until spring did that Sonja found that half of the bullet. When she was washing walls and was washing the door down. It was lodge into the front door. Had we been there 5 minutes early we might have been hit by that bullet!"

I seen piece of my mom's watch all over the floor, (on her photo above you can see the watch she was wearing) my dad had given this to my mom for her birthday on July 6th, it was on a chain she wore around her neck. ( I still have some piece of the chain in my jewelry box.) My Dad had the watch put back together so she could be buried with it on.

Then I seen a blood stain piece of paper laying on the floor, I picked it up. It was a dirty poem about Santa and his rein deer’s that I got from school the day before and I came home and read it to my mom, she laugh over it and ask me if she could take it in to work with her. She must have had that poem in her hand when the bullet hit her. I sat down on the floor and just cried. Then I heard Jimmy outside I ran to the door.

My brother Jim came in and I had to tell him what happen and that the news was not good, my mom had a rare blood type and the hospital was in short supply. My Aunt Sharon came down and took Terri, Jim and I up to her house and wait on word from the hospital. At 5pm they called and wanted my sister's and to go to the hospital see if we had her blood type.

The police had the Red Cross bring in anyone who had that blood type. My younger sister and my uncle had a match. Blood was coming in from Meadville a town 30 miles from us.

This was now 6:00 pm the accident happen at 3:15 pm. My aunt took us back to her house. We were not allow to stay with my dad. Why to this day I just never understood that. She passed at 6:10 Pm.

At 9:00 pm. My dad and the rest of the family came in. I knew by the look on their faces my mom did not make it! I was so angry at God for taking my mom away from me! My mom was buried December 19 1975. My dad just before they closed her casket he put her watch back around her neck. My mom loved that watch I was so happy that my dad was able to have it put together again even if it did not work. I had a cross necklace I put in her hands. The dress she was wearing was a dress my older sister bought her for Christmas. It was dark blue and it covered the bullet wound.

We stayed with my grandparents for two weeks, those weeks are a blur to me, other then after the funeral my aunt took me and my boyfriend "the one I married in a fairy tail romance its on the Back Burner" up to our house to get the Christmas tree that I had helped my mom picked out. We took the tree and the decorations up to my grandmother's house. We had to do this for my brother we had to put our tears behind us and move on with life. WE did not really have the time to mourn for my mother.

I had to go back to school and take care of my nine year old brother. My older sister and I had to find a balance on how to do this; Terri quit school and got married. That was here way of dealing with the death. My Dad when he was home he was drinking or he would take off an call us a week later tell us what state he was in and when he would be home. He was having trouble dealing with what had happen and would just take off and not tell us where he went.

For years I had blamed myself for my mom's death. The night before she died. She had told us that when she came home from work we would put up the Christmas tree. All three of us girls would be home that night to help her. She wanted Christmas to be special this year, she wanted to get her dad out of the hospital and spend Christmas day with us.

Before she went to bed she had put her sweater in the washer so she would have it in the morning for work. She asked me if I would bring it up when the washer was done so it would be dry. Sure I told her I will do it after I watch this show on TV this was 8:00pm. 11:00 Pm my mom comes back down stairs and gets the sweater and brings it up her self. Not saying a word to me, just giving me that look! You know the look that you get when you done something wrong?

My dad got up and told me what would you do if your mom was not here to do things for you? I just got up and went to bed. Then I knew how I was going to make it up. I would not go to school and have the house all cleaned up and fixed dinner for my mom then we can put up the Christmas tree!

Then at the last minute I remembered that I had a book keeping test that day I can not make this test up. So I got up and went to school. Came home and my mother was gone. I felt had I stayed at home my dad would not have been cleaning that gun and my mom would be alive today. My way of dealing with this at that time was eating, I had gain a lot of weight.

In May 1976 my dad got me a job at the Restaurant where my older sister work. Then in Sept. I worked at Perkins, where Sonja was now working as well as Terri. This is also were my mother had worked.

My Dad had remarried in May of 1977. He was married to Bonnie who gave birth to Ben and Andy. I did not get along with her at all, My dad ended up divorcing her in 1984. Bonnie would not let anyone see the boys not even my dad. I won’t get into that here, but later on I will. She was the main reason I had to leave town, I did not want her blaming me for her problems. Like I said before she did not even want me talking to my dad.

It took years before God showed me that it was not my fault I was doing what I was supposed to be doing and that I was be in school. So then I blamed my dad and felt he did kill my mom and that it was not an accident! So of course my mom's side of the family started to blame my dad as well. He was not allow to go see my mom’s side of the family at all, they really felt he did kill her. No matter how many times I tried to tell my mom’s sister’s they just would not listen to me. They are now upset with us for honoring my dad’s last wishes to be with my mother.

Then In 1989 I started to really seek God, I was in church raising my baby girl in the church. I needed answers on what happen to my mom, and why I had to go through all that I did. Yes sometimes there just don't seem to be any answers for the bad things that happen. But I have learn that God does everything for a reason. What could have destroyed me if I had allowed it and not realized that God's hand kept me from taking my life so many times. That he had a plan for me! That he loved me right where I was at! God showed me that back in 1983 when I gave birth to my daughter, I wanted to die, I seen no way out of my pain.

I had taken a bottle of valum with beer, and yet nothing happen to me! It was God who would not let me die. He gave me strength when I was weak! Brought me up out of the pit of despair that I was in. Took me and carried me when I could not walk. Showed me how much he loved me for who I was in Him!

God showed me it was an accident but also told me. That I was not the one to judge my dad's heart! That was between him and God alone! If it was an accident then God had forgiven him already. If it was not, then that was up to God to deal with my dad not me! Once I gave this to God and left it with God my relationship with my dad was so much more then I could ever thought would happen.

I got to know my dad! Really know him! I have seen him cry many times over how much he misses my mom, That there was no way he could ever take anyone's life let a lone someone he loved very much!

He had remarried again to Shirley in 1985 and she showed him so much what a family really was. He then moved to Missouri and lived there until she passed in 1998. But when they did come home to visit they stayed with me. I was able to get Ben and Andy and my dad would spend time with them and we would play video games on who could beat dad and Shirley, they were really good at these games and all the grandchildren came over and took turns to see if they could beat him. Over the years they came and stayed with me and my love for my dad grew and grew. When he came home for good after Shirley’s death he stayed with me for six weeks until he could get his own place.

Since 1998 when my dad moved back to PA from Mo. Over the next 10 years has been a blessing to be with my dad. In February 2008 We moved my dad to Sonja’s home so she could take care of him until he passed.

I had helped him, by cleaning his apartment playing video games with him. Cooking for him or just taking him to the doctors or shopping with him. I really got to know him; my other two sisters did not know him like I did. When we moved him in to my older sister's home, she told me I don't know dad like I should. I told her what he liked and didn't like. I also told her to take this time to get to know him like I have done. Because that is a blessing to keep with you for the rest of your life!

There is so much that I miss my dad, even though at times I got upset with him, like him showing up out of the blue on a hot summer day, that I had a yard sale and here he comes with 10 pounds of hamburg and wants me to make him meatloaf! He got his meatloaf the next day. 9 o'clock at night I am in the kitchen making him 4 meatloaf's. He loved my cooking. Would call me all the time to make this or that for him, and yes I would drop what I was doing and make it for him.

I did not want to go into details of my life but I felt so strongly that God wanted me to share this part of my life! For this is something that most people can not deal with and never recover from. What made matters worst not just for me but my family. Was that the local papers put the headline Local women slain by husband! People don't forget that.

Like my grandfather told me not to forget the good as well as the bad. Because we all learn from the bad things in our life. It is up to us to turn it around and learn from it and change it to something good. How do you turn something around like this for good? It is called forgiveness! I had to forgive God; I had to forgive myself, and then learn to forgive my dad!

That is not an easy thing to do, I had to pray and ask God to show me how to forgive him! And God being God did just that! It did not happen right away but over time it did happen!

Two years ago my dad was told he had a spot on his lungs, my dad never told anyone! He kept it from us. We did not find this out until April 2008 when we had to take him to the ER. They did a ct scan of his lungs and found the spot was now a cancers tumor about 7cm long and he had 6 to 4 months to live.

Now all this made since to me as to why my dad had started to buy things and give them to me, He bought me a police scanner, a VCR and DVD player. My dad had this van that I finally made him get rid of. It was old and had over 200,000 miles on it. He bought a small car for 5,000 and put it on his charge card so he would have the title not the bank.

And as soon as he got the title he traded that car in for a 2004 Ford Focus. $12.000 he paid for that car and only got 4, 000 off on the other car as a trade in. We just could not understand why he did that? He had a car that was really nice and he had the title to it. He just kept telling me it was too small. It was not too small for him but too small for his brother Jake who had trouble getting in an out of it. Jake has Ms. and this made it too hard for him. He not only wanted a car that was easy for Jake to get in and out of but for me as well.

Now I know. He knew he was dying. I was over at his apartment one day putting up clean curtains; I almost fell off the stool I was on. Out of the blue my dad tells me that when he dies that he wanted me to have his car! He told me it would be paid off when he dies. I asked him are you sure? I really think you need to check that out and be sure on that. The next day I went over there and he was sitting in his chair and crying, I asked him what was wrong?

He told me that he called the bank an they told him he was too old to get the insurance on the car that it would be paid off when he died. I told him that don't matter your going to live another 10 years and that car will be ready for the junk yard. He was so upset by this. I told him then not to worry about the car when the time came and If I could afford the payments I will take it.

Well my dad had his license revoked a few weeks ago and it is just a matter of days before he dies. My younger sister and her husband are going to buy the car. This is fine with me I can’t afford the $9,000 he owes on it.

Someone ask me the other day it is such a shame you can't have the car! That is just not right! There should be a way for you to get the car your dad wanted you to have that car! I told them that car did not matter to me. Yes I needed a car my car has over 184,000 miles on it and is 1995 dodge neon. I am always putting more money into then its worth, but I need a car!

But it was the thought behind my dad's heart that means more to me then the car! I have seen him cry when he found out his plan for me to have that car fall apart. My sister did tell me if for any reason I do need a car when mine is in the shop that they could work something out that I can borrow that car. For that is what my dad did with me, he let me drive it anytime I had needed it.

The day we were to move my dad out of the apartment. He called me the night before and told me to come here at 9:00 am an take what ever I wanted or needed. That helped my dad to know that he was still helping me even though I could not take the car he bought for me. But I did take the book case he built with hearts on the side of it. I had my dad's heart! Even though I knew he made it for Shirley who passed on in 1998. It was something he made with his hands. I had his heart!

And that is all the matters! It was his way of showing me how much he loved me!

I was 17 when I lost my mom. It was not until 1993 that I could see my dad in the way God wanted me to see him and that was with love! Not blame. When he does go home to be with God I know he has accepted Jesus in his heart.

Learning part of this lesson was from the poem called God is in Control. Had also helped me to forgive him.

On my 50th birthday, in May 2008 my last birthday that I would spend with my dad. He took me out to dinner an he was telling me how much he wanted to die and be with my mom that he misses her so much. I then asked him? Dad have you asked God to forgive you on anything and do your have Jesus in your heart?

He patted his heart and said yes I am right with God in my heart as a child and I do pray. I am ready to go home! I now have peace when my dad that he is going on to a better place and will be with Jesus in Heaven and with my mom.

Are your right with GOD and ready to go home to him?

James Edward Mast Jr.

My dad passed away this on December 11, 2008 around 10:00 pm He was in his chair downstairs and fell asleep. He lost kidney function yesterday, we knew it would be just a matter of time so everyone had the chance to be with him today, and Vincent my grandson climbed on his lap and laid his head down on my dads shoulder and just let my dad hold him. Vincent patted him on the chest and said its ok. like he knew he was dying. I asked my dad if he wanted to hear the new testament on tape and he did , I went an got it for him. he had company all day, did not have get a chance to listen to it. When I talked to my sister at 9 pm she told me he refused to go in the hospital bed and he was just to weak to go upstairs, and that he would most likely sleep in his chair tonight. He was then taking a nap, I told her I didn't think he would be waking up, she called me an hour later and he was gone, He had no pain and went in his sleep. That is the way we prayed for him to go.

His memorial service we decided to have Dec 19, at 7 pm that is when my mother was buried in 1975. And that date happens to be on a Friday. The main reason for that date we are having the Mast family Christmas party on 20th at the VFW. Then we can celebrate his life, this way those that are out of town would be coming in for the party on Friday afternoon anyways. No body has to go out of their way to call off work or anything. My dad would not want anyone to fuss over him or anyone to go change or cancel the Christmas party that his Dad started back in the1980's.

We want to remember my dad this way, He would not want us to cancel the party just for him. My niece Joy's father in law, Is a Pastor, Tom came up and the family was all around Tom said a prayer for my dad, Then we had the coroner come in to remove his body, he will be cremated. And Tom will be doing the memorial service at his Church here in town where my dad was born and raised.

Please don't forget to sign my Guest Book and tell me what God is doing in your life! It is at the bottom of this page!

Are you hearing God in your life?

And have you accepted Jesus into your heart?

If not all you need to do is ask God to forgive you of all your sins and say:

Jesus I know you are real and I believe that you died on the cross for me, you redeemed me by your Blood. I want to live for you! I confess all my sins known and unknown. I am sorry for them all. I Renounce them all I forgive all others, and I want you to forgive me. Forgive me now, and cleanse me with your blood. I thank you for the blood of Jesus Christ which cleanses me now forever from sin, I come to you now as my deliverer you know my special needs the thing that binds, that torments, that defiles, that evil spirit. That unclean spirit. I claim the promises of your word. "Who so ever that calleth on the Lord shall be delivered," I call upon you now in Jesus Christ name. Deliver me and set me free. Satan, I renounce you and all your works. I loose myself from your works. I loose myself from you now in Jesus name. I command you to leave me right now in Jesus name! I have a confession to make my ancestors and I have sought super natural experiences apart from you. We have disobeyed your word. I ask for you’re forgiveness. I renounce witch craft and magic both black & white. I renounce witch craft and all occult games etc. I renounce hypnoses. I break any hold placed on me. I command it right back where it came from in Jesus name. I thank you Lord for all your doing in through and for me right now! By the Blood of Jesus Christ amen.

God Bless you all!

Jacqueline L. Greek