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BLAME NOT!
Coming home one day, I notice something amidst in my home. Something was taken and I knew who took it, when I confronted that person she told me someone else took it. Unsure of how to handle this matter I took it to Jesus who told me the truth but it was not time to bring it out. I needed to play her and put her on the guilt trip. I was not sure I wanted to do this but in my heart, I knew I had to.
Therefore, I banned the other people from my home that this person said who took my pain pills. Then I let her see me in pain. Praying again the Lord told me it is all in the timing. The Lord showed me this had to be done in love without judging her, in order to bring the darkness out into the light.
A few days later the Lord showed me now is the time, this time I stood firm and confronted her with the truth. Out came the tears of repentance and the root cause of her addiction. She asked me to for give her which I did.
In this time of my struggles on how to help this person with the addiction problem and the blaming of others for her action. The Lord showed me in reading the Two Listeners. www.twolisteners.org
Never cast the blame on others
If I bear your sins and those of others, are you not casting your blame on Me?
If what is untoward is the result of your own fault or weakness, seek to remedy the cause by conquering the fault and overcoming the weakness.
If it has been caused by another, then apportion no blame, allow no thought of self to intrude to cause the slightest ruffle of your spirit-calm.
Safeguard the peace which I entrusted to you.
That makes since, Christ died for us, and he took all our sins to hell with him so that we can have eternity in heaven with him. We are putting the blame on him when we blame someone else for our sins!
WHOM ARE YOU BLAMING FOR YOUR SINS?
“Copyright 2009”
Jacqueline L. Greek
1 John 1 (King James Version)
1That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life;
2(For the life was manifested, and we have seen it, and bear witness, and shew unto you that eternal life, which was with the Father, and was manifested unto us;)
3That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.
4And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.
5This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.
6If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:
7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
8If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
10If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
September 12, 2009
On August 24, I heard on the police scanner, that there was a house fire a block from me. So I went down to look, I seen this young women and her son crying. I went over to her, understanding the fear she was going through, being just a few months ago I went through the same fear, when I was asked to leave my home when the apartment next to me was on fire.
I Told her if she needed a place to stay that I would take her in. Then I heard that it was a garbage fire and not as bad as it looked. The smoke was coming out of the attic.
So I told her where I lived and if she needed anything to let me know.
A few days later, she came to me and asked if her son and she could stay with me until she got her own place. I said they could. It was the refrigerator that had caught fire and the wiring was bad and she had a lot of heavy smoke damage, she had stayed at the Hotel in town where the Salivation Army put her up for three nights, and she was going to stay with her mom for a few days. However, her son was going to be starting school on Monday and she needed a place to stay for him.
I told her I that would be no problem she would be here on Saturday that would give me a few days to make room for them.
When she came over on Sat., we went over and got all her clothes and blankets and such to wash them all up. Got her son’s clothes all washed up for school. I even brought her computer over, cleaned it up, and fixed it as well.
Sunday, I had a family gathering to go to so I was gone most of the day.
I got home about 8 pm; she was upstairs watching TV with her son. She really did not say too much to me, other then how I was doing.
She did come down stairs and helped me put my things away. I went upstairs and got ready for bed. Later on, I was in pain with my jaw, so I went downstairs to get my pain medication. I always leave five pain pills in an old bottle and hid the rest of what I have. I have done this for over 10 years now. My kid used to take my pain medication and now she never bother my pain pills after being sent to jail for 38 days. Just the same, I always hid the main bottle. Which I had 120 pills given to me over a year ago I had about 80 left. I know I had two left in the bottle because on Sat I had taken one just before my houseguest came and there was two left.
The cupboard had been messed with and changed around and nowhere was my bottle with the two pain pills left. I went in the dinning room and started to pray and it was finally around 5 am that I went to bed. She woke me at 8:30 am telling me her alarm clock was set wrong, her son missed the bus, and if I would mind getting him to school. Therefore, I got up, got dressed, and took him to school, only to find out that they would not take him since she did not have his birth certificate sent to the school yet.
She wanted to go into Franklin about eight miles away to the welfare office to get them to fax it over and she had to go see her probation officer as well. That is when I found out she had two felonies, I told her I just got up, I need to get some coffee then I would take her. We got home and I got my coffee and got on my computer to read my email. She then mention to me that I did not look to good, I told her I had a bad night, she asked me what was wrong. I told her I went to get my pain pills and the bottle was gone, there was two left and that was all I had. I did not feel right lying to her at all, but I could not let her know I had more pain pills in my home hidden in several difference places.
Right away, she denied it and yelled at her son that his friends were here yesterday in the house and one of them must have taken it out of the cupboard. Her son yelled back telling her that none of them can reach the cupboard and she told him yes they can.
I new instantly that she did it. I never said where they were. That is when the Holy Spirit told me to play her. She asked me what I needed them for and I told her why I needed them and why they were kept in an old bottle. That is all I had and I could not get any more until see my Dr in Pittsburgh on September 17. She felt I could call my Dr here and get more. I told her no I could not do that. It had to be the other Dr in Pittsburgh. In addition, they are being strict on giving out painkillers now days.
Her son came over to me and asked me is that why I had a scar on my neck, I told him I had 21 jaw operations and would he like to see what my jaw looked like, would he like to see my jaw mold of what my jaw looked like with the Tmj concepts put in. He said he did, I brought up my TMJ story and showed them. I could tell on her face that she was upset now seeing that I really needed those pills. I went into the kitchen got my ice pack out and put it on my jaw. Then went got my therabite to stretch my jaw.
Then told them I was ready to take them to Franklin. It was a busy day and a busy week. Later on that day when she was at her place getting more clothes I went to where I hid my other bottle and took it to my room and hid it in another place. I had to leave the house for a little bit. When I got back, I notice my garbage can was moved by the washer the only way that gets moved if someone has open the drawers in the sink looking for something. I knew it would be just a matter of time she would find the main bottle. That is when I knew I had to get my pills out of the house. Which I called a friend and she took them. I kept a few and hid them in my room in a place I knew she would never find it, but just in case I put a note in there told her if she took just one pill I would call the police.
Every time I prayed about this and wanted to confront her on the truth the Holy Spirit told me it was all in the timing. Therefore, I let her continued to put up this act of her not doing it and blaming her son’s friend. I told her that the boys would not be allowed in my house. It was a long week of running her around and me in pain with all the stress that was put on me. This is why I am to avoid stress at all cost and cannot work.
I did find her an apartment where my aunt lived on the other side of town, it was a matter of the rent, and security deposited which the welfare and OEO was sending to the property owner since she was a fire victim. Then she could have the key. I hope that next week she could move in. This place had a bed, couch, table and microwave and several dressers. It was small but what she can afford. Since her son’s Social Security check he gets from his dad’s would cover the rent. Most of all the utilities were included but gas. She had no job, she lost her license for driving with out insurance and her car was not inspected she could not drive. I had her car put in my garage until she got her license back the end of Oct.
Again I asked the Holy Spirit please let me confront her with the truth, and again I got it is all in the timing. I wanted so badly to tell her. I knew then it had to be done in love with out judging her and wait on God’s timing not mine.
Her son had been sick and spent several days out of school and she asked me to take him to the Dr. I said no. I did not feel led to take her and I was hurting. She found another way to get him there. He had mono she told me. Again I asked the Lord please them get moved out of here soon! This was so hard on me. All she did was get on the computer and play games, she did nothing to pack her things up or clean her things at the house that burn, the kitchen was gutted but she could be packing and wiping down her things. All she did pack was three boxes of her dishes and things in the kitchen that was not harm by the fire.
Friday was a busy day for me. Then her niece who lived a few house from me confronted me. She told me what her aunt did when she stayed there. I knew this since she had told me right off the bat why she could not stay at her aunts, she felt her niece’s husband had set her up and blamed her for taking his pain pills. She told them someone else came in took them out of a locked boxed that had a key which her niece and husband had the keys. I told her niece that I did not believe that story since she took my bottle of pills as well. I went on to go over to next block to take care of a matter with another neighbor on fixing my car.
When I got back, Betsy (not her real name) told me to call her brother; he called and wanted to talk to me. So I did an took this call out on the porch. His niece called him and told him what I had told her. All he wanted was if she took any more of my pills and I called the police on her, before I did that to call him so he can get his nephew out of the house. I told him I would.
When I got back in the house, she asked me, “What did my brother want?” I heard the Holy Spirit tell me “Now is the time” I looked at her and told her I was not going to lie to you any more. I know you took my pills, she started to deny it. I told her do not BS me! I know the truth and I have been down this road before with my kid, then the tears started to fall and she admitted to everything. I told her I knew the truth when she told her son that his friends took it out of the cupboard. I never mention where they were. I had to play her and let her see me in pain; she had to see the consequence of what her actions did when she took my pills from me. That was the guilt that led her to tell me the truth.
She asked me to forgive her and I went put my arms around her, held her, and just let her cry. I told her there was a root caused to her addiction and she told me what that was. I am not going to put that part in here because of her privacy with that matter.
I prayed over her and just allowed the Holy Spirit to minister to her. Her son who had been upstairs came down and wanted to know why his mom was crying, and then he said it is the pills she took them again! I told him no she admitted to taking them from me. He thought I was going to kick them out. I told him no, your mom just took a big step when she admitted taking them. That was a step to recovery.
She then apology to him. Moreover, they both cried. She took him upstairs to talk.
Then the Lord showed me to print out some of my poems for her to read to build her up. Then her son came back down to get a drink, I told him to come here, put my arms around him and told him it will be all right, he said you got to help her, she don’t understand how I can still love her. I told him I am and read him the poem Who am I to read to her. He then took them up to her.
On Sat, she had gotten her food stamps so I took her to get some things for home that she needed like spices and can goods and she bought be some food as well to help me out.
On Sunday she got up went to church, I was so drained out that I could not even get out of bed to go to church, I slept till noon. Then I had an idea to go get Kentucky fried food and go to Oil Creek park just to get out for the day. When we got there I almost fell for walking into a hole, I warned her that they are all over the place to be careful well after dinner she went down to the river with her son and his friend.
When she came back up she told me she twisted her ankle and needed to go to the ER. To make a long story short, I took her, She did not want me to go back with her she wanted her privacy. I knew she did not want me to say anything to the doctor that she can not have any narcotics with her being on probation. That is when my red flag went up again. Out she came on crutches and they had given her shot for the pain. This time it was me waiting on her. I felt like now she was playing me, but I was on to her and this I was not going let happen. After all I too was once a drug addict, addicted to my own pain killers and I knew all the tricks in the book after all I played them at one time of my life.
I seen them all through my kid who was also a drug addict, play me she did not. I would not wait on her hand and foot at all, her son did all that. The one thing she did promise she would do was cook meals for me and did the dishes; she did not do them at all. Even though I waited her to do them but up to bed, she went. Out I went and did the dishes. I had to keep my mouth shut.
Monday she did nothing put play games on the computer my nerves were about ready to break. I knew in my heart that she did this on purpose to get a shot of pain medication. Her ankle was a little red and swollen. However, I cannot judge her I had to love her just the same and how I wanted to confront her and just shake her. Nevertheless, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me leave it alone, I cannot prove this one and would she be honest with me if I did confront her? God is the only one that can judge her and she is accountable to God on this one.
On Tuesday she got the key to her apartment and I wanted to move her in then, but with her on crutches I would be the one doing most of the work. On Wednesday I told her to try an put on her shoe and she did then told me it felt better, then she had to go look for a job. I called the pastor who told her he would move her Wednesday evening. He had told her he could not move her on a church night that it would be Thursday or Friday evening!
I felt like she did not tell me the whole truth and miss lead me to believe that she would be out by wed night. So I prayed and found someone with a truck, got all her things that she had in the basement and brought them up, when she called me to come get her, her ankle hurt to much to walk. That is when I told her she was moving now. She ran upstairs and got her things together and thank God, for her son who was a big help in getting all the things on to the truck and off.
I had call that person with a truck to come now and help move some of her things in to the apartment so she could stay the night there and get her son registered to go to a new school. Then I took her to get some groceries and she was all set. I had to take the bull by the horns and do this myself or it would be another day or two she would be here doing nothing. She had never packed her stuff over at the house, so on Thursday I went and did that for her. It was easier and quicker for me to do that then go get her to do it.
On Thursday, a pastor from another church came and moved two truckloads of her things out of the house that had the fire. I have now have left her in God’s hands to take care of them. Her church will be her support system since she did go to church on Sunday, went up front, and ask for prayer that she had fallen and admitted what she did to her son and me. That is another huge step she took was coming up clean in front of her church. God had opened a door for a job to where she can walk and my aunt who lives above her to watch her son.
Then Sunday night she needed more painkillers and stage the sprain ankle, that is my option, I would not have thought anything of it other then she would not let me go back in the ER with her. Never had I had any one do that. Anyone I had taken to the ER welcomes me to sit with him or her in the ER. Not her. Nevertheless, to me it was a red flag that she was not clean and this was her way to get another fix. God is the only one that knows her heart.
Yesterday morning reading Even Tide from the two listeners, God had answered another prayer for me. Was to send that to her so she would understand when she blamed her son’s friends for something she did, she was also blaming Christ for her sins.
What a wonderful God we have, my first reaction to my pills being gone was to kick her out. However, I could not do that to her son, it was not his fault what his mom did, and he loves her very much. I had to pray and ask others to pray for me so I could handle this in the way God wanted it handled I had to listen and obey him even at the time I did not want to play her, but I was not lying about being in pain. I just did not take my medication so she could see me in pain. I had to wait until the right timing to bring it all out in the open so she could see the light of the truth God had for her.
Romans 8:14-19 (KJV)
14For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
15For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
16The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
17And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
18For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
19For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.
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