Act 4
SCENE I
Enter BARBARINO and MACHAVIL.
BAR. He cannot counterfeit so much?
MAC. I know not,
But if he do not, surely he is mad.
What wild, fantastic things he does and talks
Of! Eo, Meo and Areo -- names
Unheard i' th' court before!
BAR. Some Milan counts,
I warrant you he means by them.
MAC. The strangest thing of all is the release
Of Brunetto, and his extraordinary love unto him;
Whom he hath caused richly to be clothed.
BAR. And useth him as if he were his better!
Enter HORATIO.
MAC. Yonder's the man we talk of. What a change
We see -- a prisoner but lately lock'd up safe,
And now to be the wonder of the court!
HOR. Next Eo, Meo and Areo, the Duke
Doth swear he loveth me; but who those are
I cannot tell, nor learn. My lords, good day.
Saw you his Highness lately?
BAR. No sir.
HOR. You speak as tho' you were displeased.
MAC. We are not well contented, sir.
HORA. The Duke is noble: utter your grievances to him.
BAR. So we will, sir.
Enter TRAPPOLIN.
MAC. And now sir,
Know worthy Prince, we are your loyal subjects
And what we say is for your honour.
TRA. If it be for my honour, I'll hear you;
But be as brief as you will.
MAC. Your Highness hath lately released Brunetto.
TRA. 'Tis a thing very certain.
MAC. We doubt not but done out of clemency,
Not knowing why he lay there.
TRA. Well, why was he put there?
MAC. Even for your honour's sake, most gracious sir,
The Lady Prudentia, your sister, loves him.
TRA. Say you so. So ho, Pucannello! So ho!
PUC. Who calls?
BAR. His Highness -- come hither presently.
TRA. Bid the guard enter.
Within Enter PUCANNELLO and the GUARD.
You say Brunetto was put in prison, because my sister lov'd him? You think it good and fitting he were there again?
BAR. So please your Highness, yes.
TRA. Pucannello, take me these two coxcombly lords into your custody: they are never well but when they are banishing somebody, or doing some mischief or other. Brunetto was laid in prison because my sister lov'd him, and lay me these there because I love them.
MAC. Beseech your Highness not to deal so hardly
With us whom you have known so faithful to you.
TRA. Pucannello, away with them I say!
You of the guard, see them in.
BAR. Most worthy Prince, be merciful! If we
Have done amiss, 'twas out of ignorance.
TRA. Sirrah rogue, away with them, or I'll lay up you too.
PUC. Your Honours must have patience and walk.
MAC. There is no remedy!
BAR. The heavens be merciful to Florence!
What ill malignant star hath so deprived
Our wise and noble Duke of all his reason,
That he remembers not who are his friends?
HOR. The gods be ever most propitious,
Great sir, unto you and continue long
Your life, chief honour of the Medicis.
Exit.
TRA. Prince Horatio, I am your servant. I pray you forgive me my calling of you by your nickname of Brunetto; my sister hath told me you are the son of the Duke of Savoy. Besworn unto you, I am very sorry I have not used you as befitted you, but it was your fault that told me not who you were. I have talked with Prudentia, and she loves you., she says; which I am glad on, and I'll marry you as soon as you will.
HOR. Sir, it is true I am Horatio,
Son of the Piedmont Prince; but being his second,
I durst not think me worthy of such honours
As your Highness hath done me, and therefore told
None but your beauteous sister who I was.
TRA. Enough my friend! And Prince Horatio, could you suppose I would deny my sister, though she were made of gold and precious stones, unto your Highness and to such a friend? You do deserve a better wife than she --
she's not half good enough for you, and if I had another sister you should have them both. My friend, a Prince I'm very glad, i' faith, but sorry that I did not know you such, that I might have done you right! Would I were hang'd if you are not far a better man than I.
HOR. Great Prince, you do forget yourself.
TRA. Your Highness must pardon me; I do remember myself well enough! Yet Eo, Meo and Areo have made me something proudish. But, howsoever, I am your servant, Prince Horatio. I' faith, I am your very dutiful servant! How say you now, the Duke of Savoy's son? I' faith I am your poor servant, Lavin the Duke of Florence.
HOR. I am amazed! He's mad!
Beseech your Highness, leave, I pray you sir.
Enter MATTEMORES the Spanish Captain, with PETITIONERS.
TRA. What have we here now? Does the Captain bring us morris dancers? What lobs are these two?
MAT. So please your Highness, being importun'd much, these I have brought before you that you might do justice.
TRA. Captain Mattemores, justice I'll do with all my heart -- but execution, let do who will for me.
CALF. Great Duke of Tuscany, vouchsafe to hear me
For what I speak is out of conscience.
This fellow, Mr. Bulflesh, a butcher, I saw
Verily with mine own eyes even yesternight
When he was drunk, to kill my man which he
Swore was good beef and he would sell it dear!
BUL. Sirrah Puritan, you are a base scoundrel!
Was not I drunk in your company to make you merry?
CALF. But Mr. Bulflesh, you do know and that full well, that I prayed you on my knees for your own soul's sake to drink no more, and profess'd to you that it was a great abominable sin in you to fox yourself or be foxed!
BUL. Goodman Calfshead, you are a base scurvy companion! Do you not know that for your sake, I killed your man; Yet I meant but only to beat him soundly because he poured not the wine into your codpiece? Did not I do it out of friendship unto you, did I not, you Puritan you? And you, to complain! O the ingratitude of Puritans!
TRA. Peace, both of you! Master Puritan, hold your tongue, I say. Will not Calfshead be drunk? Bulflesh?
BUL. So please your Highness, no, he will let a man sooner hang him than make him drunk. Besides, he is a fellow of strange opinions, and hath sent his son to Geneva to hear Jack Calvin preach. He stole a surplice to make his amorosa a smock of, and hath writ a paltry book against the bishops, printed it at Amsterdam in decimo sexto. He will lie and steal without comparison, is both for boys as well as queans when he hath money, and like a true Italian hypocrite, is for any sin or mischief but our drinking.
TRA. Then know I very well how to do justice! Mr. Calfshead, you say the butcher killed your man when he was fox'd? Be you fox'd when you will, and then kill him for 't.
CALF. Heavens defend! I ne'er was drunk yet, and never will be.
HOR. There is mad justice; he doth increase my wonder.
CALF. Bless me, murder I would not do it for the world!
MAT. This is strange justice -- the butcher doth very well deserve to be sent into the galleys at Ligorn.
TRA. I have done with you, Mr. Puritan. You may begone to the tavern. And Bulflesh, you may get you to the shambles as soon as you will, for I have no more to say to either of you.
Exeunt CALFSHEAD and BULFLESH.
I am ready for the next, speak therefore.
BARNE. Most excellent Prince, pity a childless father,
As yesterday my only son did walk
Under an house, this fellow Gaffer, Tiler,
Who was a working on it did fall down
Upon my son and killed him with his fall.
TIL. Mr. Barne, be not so eager! You know I bore your son no malice, and that it was an hundred to one I broke not my own neck.
TRA. This is an easy matter to conclude. Friend Barne, you say this Gaffer, Tiler, fell off a house and so did kill your son. I will be very upright in my justice. Go you upon the house from whence he tumbled, and he shall stand beneath, and fall on him.
MAT. An the Duke be not stark mad, I am to think him so.
BARNE. So I may break my own neck?
HOR. He strangely is distracted!
TRA. Neighbour Barne, get you about your business, for I have done with you.
BARNE. I must have patience.
Exeunt BARNE and TILER.
TRA. Now let me make an end with these, and I have done.
MRS. FINE. Deign, noble Duke, to hear my just complaint.
I am a poor and an unfortunate widow.
This man, Dick Whip, as the other day he drove
His coach ran over a little child of mine
That was playing in the street and kill'd it.
TRA. Sirrah Whip? Is this true?
WHIP. So please your Highness, I confess it is.
TRA. It doth not please me nor displease me, for I neither did it nor was the child mine.
WHIP. It was against my will -- a thing of chance! Mrs. Fine cannot deny it.
TRA. Mrs. Fine, you are a widow you say?
FINE. A poor unhappy one, I am.
TRA. You say that Whip the coachman hath killed your child, and how he did it, I have understood. This is my justice, I will do you right: Whip shall lie with you until he get you another.
MAT. Madder and madder!
HOR. I cannot choose but smile.
WHIP. Most willingly, so please your Highness, I am well content to do her that satisfaction.
FINE. You shall be hanged first, that you shall! Is thus my expectation failed?
TRA. Mrs. Fine be ruled: I will have justice done. Whip shall lie with you -- you may marry him, an you will. He killed your child, and he shall get you another, I say, but right. And Sirrah Whip, look unto 't, an you play the bungler and fail, you shall to Ligorn and learn to row. Mrs. Fine, be contented. An you do not like him, you might have held your tongue, for I know nobody that sent for you -- and so get you both gone.
WHIP. The heavens preserve your Highness!
Exeunt.
TRA. My friend and Prince Horatio, go unto my sister. Bid her to prepare herself. I'll have you married within this day or two. I long to see you both in bed together!
HOR. Most willingly I will do such a message.
The gods preserve you happily!
Exit.
MAT. A strange discovery if true.
TRA. Signior Captain, I say, I have done very good justice and in a little time too. I am not like your scarlet coats, that will do nothing without money -- a company of fellows they are, whose beards and hearts agree not together.
MAT. Your Highness doth despatch things very soon.
TRA. Though I am the Duke, yet I love to do no hurt, as other men in authority would. I hate to banish men as Machavil and Barbarino ha' done. Alas, poor Trappolin! I hear they have banish'd an honest man call'd Trappolin. What the devil, Signior Mattemores, came in their heads, to send a poor fellow away out of his country without any money? Though men may sometimes gather a reasonable salad abroad, he shall get no oil to eat it withal.
MAT. Great Duke of Tuscany, our noble master:
That Trappolin of whom your Highness speaks
Had little fault in him, good faith, at all,
Saving he was a most notorious coward.
TRA. Why you Don of guns or pikes, do you think every man's mind is given to the wars? Trappolin was addicted to the peace, a poor fellow full of courtesies, one that will never deny to do a favour for a friend! -- I will have a little sport with my Don of the wars. -- O me, sir Captain look yonder -- Eo, Meo and Areo, I will put you off for a while. I will try some conclusions.
MAT. Your Highness -- Where's the Duke gone, I marl? What, Trappolin, art thou come again? Faith, many a wench in Florence will be glad! Follow thy old trade; be a pander still.
TRA. Signior Captain, I am your humble slave, and if I can do you any kindness at any time, i' faith Don Mattemores, you shall command me; and if you have but a mind to any beauty in Florence, pay but me well for my pains, and her well for hers, and I will not fail you. And Captain, I can give you a delicate poison to despatch any enemy with, whom you dare not fight.
MAT. I see thou art resolv'd to be a rogue. 'Tis pity that his Highness did repeal thee! Next time I see him, sirrah pimp, I will make suit to have you sent into Ligorn.
TRA. You Spanish coxcomb! Go hang yourself! Do your worst!
MAT. Wert thou a soldier, I would fight with thee. Being a rogue, thou dost deserve my foot. Take this, you rascal!
TRA. I will presently be out of his debt. Who's yonder? It is the Duke, or I am deceiv'd? -- Eo, Meo and Areo, on again! My hat my glass and cloak sit close. -- How now, sirrah Captain, where are your manners? What do you think of me? Who am I, too I am not your lieutenant, am I? Stoop, and take up your hat and let me see if it will not become your hand as well as your head, in my presence.
MAT. I did not see your Highness!
TRA. Will you lie, too? Take that, and learn to speak truth!
Kicks him.
MAT. Most noble Prince, and my most royal master!
Pardon the error which unwillingly
I have committed! In Tuscany there lives not
A man that freelier for your sake would lose
His life than I!
TRA. Well, get you gone -- I do forgive you. My Don at arms, remember: the Duke's to be observ'd. He is the man that doth maintain you.
MAT. And most worthy Prince,
Did but occasion show itself, I would
Venture and lose my life to do you service.
Exit.
TRA. An my father conjuror would come into Florence, I would make him the next man unto my Highness. He is a good man, and it is great pity that he should go to the devil, as they say conjurors and witches do. Well, I am a brave fellow -- I love to see myself in my glass! I am the Duke, i' faith, the very Duke I see me.
Enter FLAMETTA.
FLA. I will go and petition him again.
TRA. My rogue Flametta! I could kiss her to pieces, bite off her lips and suck out her eyes, I love her so well!
FLA. The great Duke of Tuscany, the gracious heavens
Prosper your Highness ever. I am the same
That lately did entreat for the repeal
Of my beloved sweetheart Trappolin.
Most excellent sir, pity my earnest suit,
And let me have my Trappolin recall'd.
TRA. This is a very precious villain! How she loves me! An I ever marry while I am a Duke, by Eo, Meo and Areo's leave, I will have her. -- Your name, little maid, is Flametta as I remember?
FLA. So please your Highness, yes.
TRA. You sue to have banish'd Trappolin come home?
FLA. Most humbly, most excellent sir, I do.
TRA, Well, 'tis all as please. Eo, Meo and Areo -- I can do nothing without them, and my young mistress, as long as they are in authority, I can do little for you.
FLA. Then by your Highness' leave, do I wish Eo, Meo and Areo in the fire!
TRA. Methinks they should be enough in that already, for the devil made them all. Now, I think well on 't, sometime when I have good opportunity, I will off with my things and have a little sport with her. -- Since, fair maid, you are so earnest for your sweetheart Trappolin, he shall come home very shortly. He shall, believe me; but upon condition I will do it.
FLA. On any condition except my honour, sir.
TRA. That he shall lie with you.
FLA. Were we but married, most willingly.
TRA. If he gives you his oath to have you, will not that suffice?
FLA. I had rather we had married before.
TRA. You need not fear. Should he swear unto you and break his oath, I would hang him. -- And yet, though I ne'er mean to break my word with her, i' faith, I should very hardly hang myself for anything. The rope is a very dismal thing.
FLA. Shall he come home? Say the word, noble Prince.
TRA. Well, on my word, he shall as soon as possibly I can; but on that condition that you will accept of him without marriage, upon his oath to have you.
FLA. I see his Highness is mad as everybody says, otherwise what should ail him to talk thus? -- Most excellent Prince, he and I would not disagree.
TRA. Well, here is my hand; he shall come home shortly. Now I must have a kiss and leave you; I am very hungry. I ha' been so long a-doing justice, that I am very hungry. Give me a buss, sweetheart.
Kisses her.
FLA. Heaven bless your Highness.
Exeunt, severally.
SCENE II
Enter LAVINIO the great Duke, ISABELLA the Duchess, with ATTENDANTS.
LAV. My heart's sweet solace, my dear Isabella,
You are most welcome unto Florence.
Live according to your wishes happily
And may I perish if I do not strive
In everything to please you to my power.
I'm sorry at my coming home I find
Such strange and unexpected alterations,
That for to quiet them, I must deprive
Myself some hours of your company.
ISA. Most excellent sir, I do account myself
Most highly blest that am not only married
Unto a Prince, but one that can,
And doth, vouchsafe his love unto me being
Defective of those beauties should deserve it.
To your affairs betake you, worthy sir;
I will expect you till your leisure serves.
LAV. You are good unto a miracle,
Sweet Isabella. Attend the Duchess in.
Adieu my love; some few but tedious minutes
Pass'd over, I will come unto you.
ISA. I will await your leisure.
Exeunt with ISABELLA.
LAV. What mad fantastic humours have possess'd
In general the heads of the Florentines!
They have amaz'd me, speak as if I
Had been with them before my Duchess came.
BARBARINO and MACHAVIL appear in prison.
BAR. You great commander of the Tuscan cities,
Pity your subjects and your loyal servants!
In what we sued for, we had no design,
Neither the least intent for to offend.
MAC. Be merciful therefore, most gracious Prince.
Let not the noblest of the Florentines
Wear out their days and thraldom, in a prison,
Being men not long ago high in your favour.
LAV. I am lost within a labyrinth of wonders!
I know not what to think. The chiefest of
The Florentine nobility in prison,
And sue to me as if I had commanded
Them to this place? Sure some ill spirit hath
Possess'd men's minds while I was absent!
-- Do you know me?
BAR. Your highness is the Duke,
Our master.
LAV. Are you not called Barbarino? And you, Machavil? The lords unto whom I left the government of Tuscany in my absence?
MAC. We are your loyal subjects, though your prisoners, and were left your deputies when your Highness went to Milan.
LAV. How came you there!
BAR. Great sir, you know most well! At your command.
LAV. Pucannello, so ho!
Within:
PUC. Who calls? What's the matter, I wonder?
LAV. Release me the lords presently, and send them to me hither!
The more I think of these accidents,
The more I marvel how they come to pass.
The men whom I did leave here governors
Are prisoners, and which increaseth more
Amazement in me, they say it was I
That made them so! Some unheard malady,
Unknown unto the world before, it seems,
Hath infected all my subjects with a frenzy!
I must be satisfied in this.
Enter BARBARINO and MACHAVIL.
BAR. He hath chang'd his humour, it seems.
MAC. And may he continue in this, if it be a good one.
LAV. I am astonished to see the things
I every minute do, especially
You two, to whom I left the weighty charge
Of rule -- in prison! Resolve me, for Heaven's sake,
How you came there?
BAR. Sure he doth jest with us?
MAC. Your Highness is disposed to be merry;
You know, most excellent sir, full well, that none
Except yourself could do it.
LAV. I, do it?
BAR. He doth things in his madness he remembers not when he's in's right senses, it seems.
LAV. Florence I left a wise ingenious city.
But I have found it now at my return
Possess'd with a strange, unheard of madness!
Who put you in prison? Collect your wits int' order,
And answer wisely.
MAC. I vow, by the prosperity of Tuscany,
Your Highness.
LAV. Most strange! Why did I so?
BAR. Because we did, most gracious sir, give notice
Unto you how the Princess Prudentia,
Your matchless beauteous sister, lov'd Brunetto.
LAV. Whom! What! Brunetto?
MAC. Your prisoner taken in the Mantuan wars.
LAV. My sister to forget herself! I am
Full of amazement! She that had refused
The youthful Dukes of Modena and Parma,
Dote on a slave slighted by all the stars?
My sister also so to lose her senses,
She that was wise and honoured for her virtues?
Sure also this same strange infection
Of madness would ha seiz'd upon myself,
If I had stayed at home. I will not now
So marvel at the common people, seeing
The most discreet of the nobility
And my own sister equally distracted.
MAC. I hope he comes to himself again. He talks something more wisely than of late.
LAV. It is a frequent thing, to see a city
Miserably groan under a heavy sickness;
To have the plague or fierce diseases full
Of danger rage, and even unpopulate places.
But such a general frenzy to possess
And to distract all Florence, is a wonder,
A miracle unmatch'd in history!
BAR. How he talks as if we were all mad, and he had done nothing!
LAV. Are you sure you are both in your right senses?
MAC. Did once your Highness know us so?
LAV. Yes.
BAR. We are as free from any distraction
As ever yet we were since we were born.
LAV. You must both of you, tho', give me leave to think what I know.
Enter MATTEMORES.
I'll try an he be mad too. -- Captain? These lords say I put them in prison. How say you?
MAT. So your Highness did. -- He's distracted another way.
LAV. Good gods, be merciful! Why?
MAT. Because they spoke against Brunetto's liberty.
LAV. He's in the same tale! Though they are deprived of their senses,
They do not differ. -- But why, good Captain, answer me a little,
Should I desire Brunetto's freedom; being
Beloved by my sister, as they say,
Would it not be a great dishonour, think you,
Unto the family of the Medicis
That she should cast herself away upon one
We do neither know whom or whence he is?
I pray you Captain, if that yet you have
Any small remnant of your wit remaining,
Reply according to it.
MAT. An he be grown wise again, heavens be praised!
-- It is a certain truth, your Highness speaks
That if your sister should bestow herself,
Being a Princess meriting so much
For her unequall'd beauty and her virtues,
Upon a man such as you pleas'd to mention,
It would be a great weakness in her; but you
Yourself I heard, most excellent sir,
To call Brunetto Prince Horatio,
The second son unto the Duke of Savoy.
LAV. How! I call him so? Truth, Captain, you
Have heard these things which I did never say?
BAR. You never heard him call Brunetto so?
MAC. Never; this is the first time I ever heard of it.
LAV. My wonder is so great, I do want words.
Whereby to give it vent, I see that all
My subjects, being distracted, think me mad.
MAT. And more so please your Highness, you did send
Brunetto, whom you Prince Horatio called,
Unto your sister to bid her prepare
Herself, for you within a day or two
Would see them married.
LAV. Enough! Captain, I swear unto you by my Dukedom,
That rather I would send Brunetto, though
He were the Duke of Savoy's second son,
To have his head struck off than on that message
You say I did.
MAT. He doth remember nothing!
BAR. If the Duke be come to his right senses again,
I beseech the gods keep him so.
MAC And I.
Enter HORATIO and PRUDENTIA.
MAC. Beseech your Highness, look, let your own eyes
Be witness of their mutual affection!
Behold the Princess, your sister, and Brunetto.
Let us withdraw where we may stand unseen,
And you shall hear them talk what I have said.
HOR. Dear lady, you have raised me to a fortune
So high that when I look upon myself,
I am amaz'd, and wonder at your goodness!
PRU. Most noble Prince, let my unfeigned love
Excuse the weak expressions of my tongue.
I'm glad my brother bears so noble a mind
As to be willing to unite our bodies
As we have done our hearts.
HOR. Not only willing, divine Prudentia,
But earnest for us; he doth seem to grieve
That two such faithful lovers as we are,
Should live so long asunder.
PRU. It is a worthy nature in him.
LAV. I can contain myself no longer! Though this
Be out of madness done, I will not suffer it!
Sister!
PRU. Live long, most worthy brother, happily!
LAV. So should I wish for you bore you a mind
Deserv'd yourself.
PRU. What mean you, sir?
HOR. Good heavens, be kind and do not now undo
What you have almost brought unto perfection!
I fear his madness that once favoured me
Hath chang'd his mind to my undoing.
LAV. I will but spend few words: Are you a son
Of the Duke of Savoy's?
HOR. Your Highness knows, I am his second.
LAV. Whether
You are or no, I care not, and if you be,
My sister once deserv'd a better husband;
And she shall rather in a monastery
Spend all her future days, than be your wife!
And be you what you will, sir, I will show you
That you have wronged me, and I do not fear
The Duke of Savoy if he be your father.
Pucannello, Pucannello, come hither!
MAC. I like this.
PRU. He's wonderfully distracted! -- Most worthy brother,
Be not so much unmerciful!
LAV. Peace, Prudentia! I never thought
You had so weak a reason.
HOR. He's mad, to my undoing! Gracious gods,
Soon make him leave this humour.
BAR. I hope he's come unto himself.
Enter PUCANNELLO.
LAV. Sirrah, convey Brunetto into prison.
Lock him up close.
PUC. Here's do and undo. Will our Duke ne'er be in his
Right senses again?
PRU. My dear Horatio, love me still, for I
Unto thee will be constant, though I die.
HOR. Though I be tortured unto death, my dear.
Exeunt with HORATIO.
MAT. I know not what to think of these alterations.
LAV. Thus but the heavens assist, I hope to bring
Int' order from confusion, everything.
Exeunt omnes.