Act 2
SCENE I. A room in the Doctor's house. Early afternoon of the same day.
FLOR.: You may believe me, Doctor, on my honour, no one came into the house last night.
DOCTOR: I know for certain that a serenade was performed for my daughters.
FLOR.: True enough; but they listened modestly to it from the balcony. A serenade doesn't harm an honest girl.
DOCTOR: But to admit people during the night? To sup with a stranger?
FLOR.: That's not true.
DOCTOR: What do you know about it? You were in bed.
FLOR.: I lay awake all night.
DOCTOR: What did you do that for?
FLOR.: It was too hot to sleep.
DOCTOR: Do you know Signor Ottavio ?
FLOR.: Yes, I know him.
DOCTOR: Well, he told me all this and says he can prove it.
FLOR.: Then he lies! Ask him for his proofs and you'll soon find there's nothing in them.
DOCTOR: Well, if that were so, I should be sorry to have upset my daughters like this.
FLOR.: Poor girls! You're treating them very harshly.
DOCTOR: Especially Rosaura, who's quite brokenhearted and won't be comforted.
FLOR. (wiping his eyes): Poor thing! My heart bleeds for her.
DOCTOR: What's the matter, my boy? Are you crying?
FLOR.: Of course not; got some snuff in my eyes. (Shows his snuff-box.)
(Enter COLOMBINA supporting ROSAURA, who is in a fainting condition.)
COLOM.: Quick, quick, sir! Poor Miss Rosaura has fainted and I can't bring her to. For pity's sake help her!
(FLORINDO is in despair.)
DOCTOR: Quick, spirits of melissa!
COLOM.: Feel how her heart palpitates; surely she needs to be bled?
DOCTOR: Florindo, examine her, feel her pulse, and if you think she wants bleeding, puncture a vein. I know you're first-rate at these things, and I'll go and get the melissa.
(Exit.)
COLOM. (to FLORINDO): For Heaven's sake do something for her!
FLOR.: These are the fruits of her father's injustice. I'll do what I can.
COLOM.: Poor dear, she's not come to yet, and her sister doesn't come near her or give her a thought. I believe she wouldn't mind if she died. They can't abide each other.
FLOR.: Where are we? I can see nothing.
COLOM.: What's the matter with you? The room's bright enough. Look at poor Miss Rosaura.
FLOR.: Alas! my strength fails me. Colombina, go and fetch what I need to bleed her.
COLOM.: At once. For heaven's sake, don't fail her.
(Exit.)
FLOR.: Alone at last -- no one sees me -- I may touch that beautiful hand. Yes, dearest, I'll feel your pulse. How beautiful she is, though unconscious! (Feels her pulse.) Alas! I'm dying! (Falls fainting to the ground.)
(Enter COLOMBINA carrying a taper and other blood-letting apparatus.)
COLOM.: Heavens! Here's the physician keeping the patient company!
(Enter the DOCTOR.)
DOCTOR: Here I am, here I am. Has she come to yet?
COLOM.: Look, Signor Florindo's fainted, too.
DOCTOR: The devil! What's he done that for? Here, quick! take this melissa and ply her with it -- leave the lad to me.
COLOM. (dabbing ROSAURA's face): She's coming round.
DOCTOR: So's Florindo. They seem to do things in concert.
ROSAURA: Oh, where am I?
DOCTOR: There, my daughter, take heart, it's nothing.
FLOR. (aside): Good lord, what have I done? (Gets up, sees the DOCTOR, and is ashamed.)
DOCTOR: What was wrong with you, Florindo?
FLOR. (stammering): Sir -- I -- I don't know. Excuse me. (Exit in confusion.)
DOCTOR: I believe that boy's mad.
COLOM.: Cheer up, madam, do; it's all right.
ROSAURA: Oh, father, for charity --
DOCTOR: My daughter, do calm yourself. I have been assured that what was said of you is pure invention. We shall emerge into the light of truth.
ROSAURA: But, father, whoever made you believe such monstrous lies?
DOCTOR: Why, Ottavio, to be sure.
ROSAURA: What grounds can he have for saying such dreadful things?
DOCTOR: Heaven alone knows; but he said he'd prove them.
ROSAURA: Let him prove them, if he can. Father, it is a question of your honour and of my honour; don't let this matter drop.
DOCTOR: I'll see him at once about it.
COLOM.: Wait a bit, I'll go and fetch him here to the house, and by Jiminy, we'll make him take it back.
DOCTOR: Do, and if you find him, say I want to speak to him.
COLOM.: I'll bring him here in spite of himself.
(Exit.)
ROSAURA: You've caused me great pain.
DOCTOR: Come, come, we'll cure it with a new happiness. Know, my child, that I have promised your hand in marriage.
ROSAURA: To whom?
DOCTOR: To the son of Signor Pantalone.
ROSAURA: For Heaven's sake, sir, if you love me, don't insist on this marriage!
DOCTOR: Tell me why, and, perhaps, we'll see about it.
ROSAURA: A respectful and obedient daughter has no secrets from her father. Know, sir, that a foreign gentleman of great blood and exalted position wishes to marry me.
DOCTOR (angrily): So, then there is a foreigner in the case? and, if that's true, the tale of the serenade is true, and the supper party's true, too.
ROSAURA: It is true that a great foreigner loves me and caused a serenade to be performed in my honour, but I have only spoken once with him, and that from the balcony, and may Heaven strike, me dead if he has ever set foot inside the house!
DOCTOR: What! a great gentleman want to marry you?
ROSAURA: At least he makes me hope so.
DOCTOR: Take care that he is not some impostor!
ROSAURA: He is to present himself to you to-day. You shall keep your eyes open for me.
DOCTOR: Listen to me: if this good fortune is really destined for you, I shan't be mad enough to stand in your way. I am somewhat engaged to Pantalone, but only verbally; and I shan't have any trouble in finding some pretext to free myself.
ROSAURA: It will be enough to say that I won't marry him.
DOCTOR: It would certainly not be enough, for I am master here! What is this gentleman's name?
ROSAURA: The Marquess Asdrubale of Castel d'Oro.
DOCTOR: Gracious, my goodness! A Marquess ?
(Enter BEATRICE unnoticed behind them; she listens.)
ROSAURA: He has loved me for a year, but only declared himself yesterday.
DOCTOR: He's quite serious?
ROSAURA: Believe me, he adores me.
DOCTOR: You're sure he wants to marry you?
ROSAURA: He has given me his word.
DOCTOR: If that's the way things stand, I'll do my best to help you.
BEAT. (coming forward): Father, don't be so easily taken in by what my sister says. It's not true that Don Asdrubale has declared himself in her favour. He loves one of us, and without too much flattering myself, I have every reason to believe 'tis me he prefers.
DOCTOR (to ROSAURA): And now what's at the bottom of all this?
ROSAURA (to BEAT.): Where do your hopes spring from?
BEAT.: From the same place that yours do.
ROSAURA: Father, I am not speaking without good grounds.
BEAT.: Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.
DOCTOR: Here's a fine tangle! Listen to what I'm going to say to you, and let's have as few words as possible. You'll stop at home, both of you, and not go out without my permission. If my Lord Marquess comes to talk to me, I shall soon see what the truth is and which of you is the favoured one. But if it's all a fairy tale, as I believe, I shall have cause to say without wronging one or t'other of you, that you're both daft!
(Exit angrily.)
BEAT.: Well, madam sister, and what grounds have you for thinking the Marquess your declared suitor ?
ROSAURA: Infallible grounds, my dear. But I'm not obliged to tell you everything.
BEAT.: Oh, I know; you've been out masked and taken some pains to draw the water to your mill. But I swear I'll take the wind out of your sails.
ROSAURA: What possible pretensions can you have? Does he seem to prefer you? Does he seem to want you?
BEAT.: He has said to me what he has said to you, and I cannot imagine by what right you pretend him yours.
ROSAURA: Well, we shall see.
BEAT.: If I thought you'd played me some underhand trick, you'd pay for it!
ROSAURA: It seems to me you should show some decency. After all, I'm the elder.
BEAT.: Oh, pray, let me kiss the superior lady's hand.
ROSAURA: Oh, well, I've always said so: we never do get on together.
BEAT.: If it were not for you, I should have been married three years ago. Fifty suitors wanted me, but our father never wished to wrong his eldest born.
ROSAURA: Oh, yes, we know your wonderful suitors! Amongst others, the ingenious Signor Ottavio, who, perhaps to revenge himself on your disdain, has invented all these fine tales he has been telling our father.
BEAT.: Ottavio invented them?
ROSAURA: Father has just told me so.
BEAT.: The wretch! If only I could lay my hands on him!
ROSAURA: He deserves to be flogged!
(Enter COLOMBINA, ushering in OTTAVIO.)
COLOM.: My ladies, here is Signor Ottavio, who wishes to see you.
OTTAVIO: Behold me, covered with blushes and confusion --
ROSAURA (interrupting him): Deceiver!
BEAT.: Liar !
OTTAVIO: Ladies, I'm neither one nor t'other.
ROSAURA: Who told my father that we had been serenaded?
OTTAVIO I did, but --
BEAT. (interrupting him): Who told him we'd received a stranger here in the house during the night?
OTTAVIO: I, but --
ROSAURA (interrupting): Deceiver!
BEAT.: Liar!
OTTAVIO: But, Lelio Bisognosi --
ROSAURA (interrupting): Did you say we were on the balcony?
OTTAVIO: Yes, Madam, but listen --
BEAT. (interrupting): Did you say we'd been entertained by the stranger?
OTTAVIO: I said so, because he himself --
BEAT. (interrupting): Deceiver!
(Exit.)
ROSAURA: Liar!
(Exit.)
OTTAVIO: But, if they won't let me speak? Colombina, I place my honour in your keeping. Go to your mistresses, prevail upon them to listen to me, and I will satisfy them, I promise you.
COLOM.: But what can you say to clear yourself?
OTTAVIO: I can say much, and that it is the truth you shall judge for yourself.
COLOM.: Well, let's hear the case. You told the master that the foreign gentleman entered the house during the night.
OTTAVIO: But if --
COLOM. (interrupting): You said they supped together.
OTTAVIO: Yes, but of all this --
COLOM. (interrupting): Did you say it, or did you not?
OTTAVIO: I said it.
COLOM.: Then you're a deceiver and a liar!
(Exit.)
OTTAVIO: Even the chambermaid flouts me! How shall I adjust matters with Beatrice? And what is even more important, however shall I settle things with her father? Lord, here he comes!
(Enter DOCTOR.)
DOCTOR: What's the matter, Signor Ottavio? What are you doing in my house?
OTTAVIO: Sir, I am at your feet.
DOCTOR: So what you told me was false?
OTTAVIO: I did not invent what I told you, but I allowed myself to be too easily gulled, and too quickly reported to you what a liar asserted to be the truth.
DOCTOR: Who's that?
OTTAVIO: Lelio Bisognosi.
DOCTOR: Signor Pantalone's son?
OTTAVIO: Exactly.
DOCTOR: He's arrived in Venice ?
OTTAVIO: He arrived yesterday, to my misfortune.
DOCTOR: Where? At his father's house?
OTTAVIO: I think not. He's a gay spark and loves his liberty.
DOCTOR: But what made the wretch say all this?
OTTAVIO: He said it with such fervour that I was forced to believe him; and if Florindo, whom I know to be sincere and honourable, had not enlightened me, perhaps I, even yet, might not be completely disillusioned.
DOCTOR: I wonder how, having barely arrived, he found time to invent such tarradiddles? Does he know that Rosaura and Beatrice are my daughters?
OTTAVIO: I think so. He knows them to be the daughters of a doctor.
DOCTOR: Oh, the villain! He treats them thus, does he? He shan't have Rosaura.
OTTAVIO: Doctor, I beg your pardon.
DOCTOR: Granted.
OTTAVIO: Don't deprive me of your favour.
DOCTOR: I'll be your friend.
OTTAVIO: Remember you offered me Beatrice.
DOCTOR: I remember you refused her.
OTTAVIO: Don't deprive me of her, I beg you.
DOCTOR: We'll talk of it.
OTTAVIO: Say yes, I implore you!
DOCTOR: I'll bear it in mind.
OTTAVIO: I ask for the daughter, never mind the dowry.
DOCTOR: Well, well, we'll see.
(Exit.)
OTTAVIO: I don't mind losing the dowry if I win Beatrice. But it's not going to be easy; women are more constant in hate than in love.
CURTAIN.
END OF SCENE I.
Scene II. A room in PANTALONE's house.
Early afternoon of the same day.
LELIO: Arlecchino, I'm really in love.
ARLE.: By your leave, zur, I don't believe a word o't.
LELIO: You can believe it. It is so.
ARLE.: Dön't believe it, faith of a gentleman.
LELIO: Well, it's the truth this time.
ARLE.: Mebbe 'tis trewth, but I doant believe it.
LELIO: Why not, if it's the truth?
ARLE.: 'Cos I doant believe the trewth from a liar.
LELIO: You might recognize the fact that I'm in love from my continual sighs.
ARLE.: Ay, as if ye couldn't sigh and weep too when ye're so pleased! Mrs. Cleonice knows that well enough, to her cost, poor thing.
LELIO: She was a little too easy game.
ARLE.: Ay, but ye promised her marriage, änd the poor wumman believed ye.
LELIO: I have been deceived by more than ten women; am I not to be allowed to fool one?
ARLE.: Best pray to Heaven she doant find out you're in Venice änd follow you.
LELIO: She'd never dare!
ARLE.: Doant 'e be too sartin; wimmin in love häve done more nor that.
LELIO: Oh, come, stop this odious talk. I've forgotten Cleonice now and love Rosaura. I love her absorbingly, with a most overwhelming passion.
ARLE.: Ay, 'tis plain enough by ye're fine presents to her. Jiminy, ten zecchins fur läce!
LELIO (laughing): Ah, yes, how did that bit of business strike you?
ARLE.: Ay, ye be witty invention itself. But, zur, here we be ät ye're fäther's house änd no vittels zo far.
LELIO: Oh, don't be such a glutton.
ARLE.: What's he like, yer fäther? Haven't seen 'un yet.
LELIO: Oh, fine old fellow. Here he comes.
(Enter PANTALONE.)
ARLE.: Wäuns, what a fine beard! (Aside.)
PANTA.: Well, boy, I wäs a-lookin' for you.
LELIO: Here I am at your service.
ARLE. (trying to drop his dialect): Sir Don Pantalone, being -- ah -- as one might put it -- the sarvant -- of your masculine seed, I gives myself the vast honour -- of being -- that is to say -- to protest myself also your honour's sarvant! You understand me, no need of mentioning it!
PANTA. (to LELIO): Delightful fellow! Who is he?
LELIO: Oh, a servant of mine, a fool, but faithful.
PANTA.: Fine! He'll be räre sport.
ARLE.: Ay, I'll play the clown for 'ee.
PANTA. Ay, do.
ARLE.: But täke wärning, mäster, plenty to eat; clowns eat a mort o' food.
PANTA.: Right! ye shan't go empty.
ARLE.: Let's zee if ye're the gentleman.
PANTA.: I ständs by whät I sez.
ARLE.: Let's zee: I could do wi' summat now.
PANTA.: Go to the kitchen änd get some food.
ARLE.: Yes, 'ye're the gentleman right enough. I'll go find the cook. (To LELIO.) A word in yer ear, mäster.
LELIO: What is it?
ARLE. (aside to LELIO): I doant believe he's your fäther.
LELIO (aside to ARLE.): Why?
ARLE. (aside to LELIO): 'Cos he speaks trewth änd ye're a liar!
(Exit.)
LELIO (aside): He's really getting above himself.
PANTA.: Queer fellow thät sarvent o' yourn. And now for a word wi' ye, my läd.
LELIO: I'm all attention.
PANTA.: Ye know that I shäll leave ye my zole heir, änd now my poor brother's gone I shall leave 'ee more than 'ee bargained for. So ye're ripe fer a fäm'ley, and to cut things short, I wänt to zee 'ee married.
LELIO: I'd already thought of this. I've something in view and in good time we'll talk of it.
PANTA.: A younker only thinks o' satisfyin' hisself wi' flummery o' looks än' whät nöt, and ärter four däys he's fair sick of it. This be a father's job; they mean well by the young folk, än' doan't let their feelin's ride 'em, zo all goes fair änd zoftly in the end.
LELIO: Of course, I should not think of acting without you. I shall always be dependent on your advice and authority.
PANTA.: If ye feel like that, ye might as well know ye're as good as married already. I settled it all this morning.
LELIO: What! without me?
PANTA.: Ye couldn't do better; a good housewife, good dowry, her fäther a professional man o' Bologna, but livin' here, a fine wench änd a witty. What more d'ye wänt? I gived my word änd the business is done.
LELIO: You'll forgive me, sir, but though it's true that the fathers think of their sons' welfare, the sons have got to live with the wives they've chosen, and it's only right they should be satisfied.
PANTA.: Ye weren't saying thät just now, my boy. Arter all, I'm your fäther, änd if ye're foreign breeding ha'n't taught ye to respect me, 'tain't too läte to learn yet.
LELIO: But am I not even to see her first ?
PANTA.: Ye'll zee her when ye zign the contract an' not before; 'tis the old wäy o' doing things. I've done well by ye, I'm ye're fäther änd there's an end on't.
LELIO (aside): It's about time for a witty invention.
PANTA.: What's thät ye say ?
LELIO: Ah, father, your authority has placed me in a great dilemma, and I can no longer keep my secret hidden from you.
PANTA.: Well, whät's it now?
LELIO (kneeling): I throw myself at your feet! I know that I have erred but I was forced to it.
PANTA.: Well, my boy, whät häve ye done?
LELIO: I tell you with tears in my eyes.
PANTA. Out wi' it.
LELIO: I have a wife in Naples.
PANTA.: And ye tell me this now? Ye never wrote a word? Did my poor brother know?
LELIO: He did not know.
PANTA.: Get 'ee up, boy. Ye doant deserve a fäther, änd I'm fair minded to turn 'ee out. But dammit, ye're my own zon, an' there's no cure for whät's done. If she be a decent gal änd 'ull write to me, mayhap -- mayhap I'll put up wi' it. But if 'ee've married but a strumpet!
LELIO: Father, what do you mean? I've married a most honest lady.
PANTA.: Whät's her stätion?
LELIO: A knight's daughter.
PANTA.: Wheer be she from?
LELIO: Naples.
PANTA.: Dowry?
LELIO: Most rich.
PANTA.: An' ye keep this zort o' marriage from me? Were 'ee afräid I'd say "No" to it? I've zome zense. 'Ee did right to marry her, but why keep it hid? P'r'aps 'ee did it wi'out her fäther's knowledge?
LELIO: He had full knowledge of it.
PANTA.: Then why, in the näme o' goodness, keep it hid from me and my brother?
LELIO: Because I married her on both feet, as it were.
PANTA.: What d'ye meän, "on both feet "?
LELIO: I was surprised by her father in the lady's chamber.
PANTA.: What did 'ee go theer for ?
LELIO: Amorous folly, fruits of my youth.
PANTA.: Wretch! Now ye're spliced that's all over. Whät's her name?
LELIO: Briseide.
PANTA.: An' her fäther's?
LELO: Don Policarpe.
PANT.: Zurnäme?
LELIO: D'Albacava.
PANTA.: Young ?
LELIO: Of my age.
PANTA.: How did 'ee get to know her?
LELIO: Their villa joined ours.
PANTA. How did 'ee get in?
LELIO: By the help of a friendly chambermaid.
PANTA.: An' ye found the leddy in her room?
LELIO: Yes, all alone.
PANTA.: Night or day?
LELIO: Betwixt light and dark.
PANTA.: An' ye were fule enough to be found an' risk being killed?
LELIO: I hid in a cupboard.
PANTA.: Ay? An' how did they find 'ee then?
LELIO: My repeater struck the hour and her father became suspicious.
PANTA.: The devil! Whät did he zäy?
LELIO: He asked his daughter whose repeater it was.
PANTA.: An' the läss?
LELIO: Said immediately that her cousin had given it to her.
PANTA.: An' who might that be?
LELIO: The Duchess Matilda, daughter of Prince Astolfo, sister of Count Argante, master of His Majesty's hunt.
PANTA.: This wench of yourn häs a fläshy zet o' relations.
LELIO: She comes of the flower of nobility.
PANTA.: Ay, änd about the watch? Did the fäther give over?
LELIO: He wanted to see it.
PANTA.: Wauns! whät happened then?
LELIO: Briseide opened the cupboard door a crack and asked me under her breath for the watch.
PANTA.: Fine! whät else could she do?
LELIO: In taking it out of my pocket the chain caught in the trigger of a pistol I held ready cocked, and it exploded.
PANTA.: Poor läd, did it härm 'ee?
LELIO: Oh, a mere nothing.
PANTA.: What did 'ee say? Whät häppened next?
LELIO: The deuce of a row. My father-in-law called the servants.
PANTA.: They found 'ee --
LELIO: Of course.
PANTA. I fair trembles. What did 'ee do then?
LELIO: I put my hand on my sword and they all fled.
PANTA.: They might ha' settled 'ee.
LELIO: I have a sword that fears not a hundred.
PANTA.: In its sheath, läd, in its sheath. An' so 'ee got away?
LELIO: I did not want to desert my charmer.
PANTA.: What zaid the läss?
LELIO (tenderly): She dissolved in tears at my feet.
PANTA.: 'Tis a fair romance.
LELIO: It's true, nevertheless.
PANTA.: What was the end on't?
LELIO: My father-in-law ran for a justice of the peace, who sent a captain with a company of soldiers. They forced me to marry her, and for a punishment gave me a dowry of twenty thousand crowns.
PANTA. (aside): 'Tis the first time I heard the like!
LELIO (aside): I defy the first gazetteer of Europe to invent a fact more circumstantially.
PANTA.: Boy, ye stäked a zäd risk, thänk yer stärs ye weathered it an' cäme well out on't, but 'tis a warning an' täke heed to lärn by it. Pistols, forsooth -- here we doant hold wi' em.
LELIO: I have never carried firearms again from that day to this.
PANTA.: Whoy didn't ye tell ye're uncle o' yer marriage?
LELIO: He was dangerously ill when all this happened.
PANTA.: Whoy didn't ye write me a letter?
LELIO: I wanted to tell you myself.
PANTA.: Whoy didn't ye bring the gal wi' 'ee?
LELIO: She's six months gone with child.
PANTA.: Six months? A fair nothing. Fine job you've made of it, not telling me. Your fäther-in-law will think me a fine fäther not to have written him a word about all this. Faith, but I'll cure it now. The post fur Näples goes to-night. I'll write 'un an' tell 'un to keep his eye on the brät. I misremember Don Policarpe's zurnäme. Tell me again, dear boy.
LELIO (aside): I've forgotten it too! (Aloud.) Don Policarpe dell'Artichoke.
PANTA.: Artichoke? Zurely not! zaid d'Albacava. Now I remember, 'ee.
LELIO: Dell'Artichoke is his surname; d'Albacava his estate. He is called indifferently by one or t'other.
PANTA.: I zee. I'll go write. I'll tell 'un to zend her along as zoon as she's fit for't. I can't abide the thought o' waiting to zee her an' kiss the baby. He, he! Pantalone a gran'fäther!
(Exit.)
LELIO: It's taken some trouble to get rid of that Bolognese. If I am to be bound in matrimonial chains, Rosaura shall do it. After all, at least she's a doctor's daughter, and my father cannot despise her. After I've married her, the Neapolitan shall turn Venetian. My father wants grandchildren? I'll oblige him!
CURTAIN.
END OF SCENE II.
SCENE III. The Street.
Early afternoon.
FLOR.: Brighella, I'm desperate.
BRIG.: For whoy?
FLOR.: I'm told that Doctor Balonzoni intends marrying Rosaura to a Neapolitan Marquis.
BRIG.: Who told 'ee that?
FLOR.: Her sister, Beatrice.
BRIG.: Then ye've little time to lose-Out wi' it, man.
FLOR.: Yes, Brighella, I am at last resolved to declare myself.
BRIG.: Stars and garters! Maybe I'll zee ye happy for once.
FLOR.: I have composed a poem and by its aid I shall stand revealed.
BRIG.: She don't want poems -- best speak in plain prose.
FLOR.: The poem will tell all.
BRIG.: If it's plain speaking enough, happen 'twill serve -- let's hear 'un.
FLOR.: Here it is -- Isn't the writing beautiful?
BRIG.: 'Tis none o' yourn.
FLOR.: No, I had it copied.
BRIG.: For whoy?
FLOR.: So that my handwriting should not be recognized, of course.
BRIG.: Bean't she to know 'tis yourn?
FLOR.: Listen! Doesn't it speak plainer than I?(Reads.)
"Heart's idol, O my most adoréd fate,
For thee I suffer silently and long,
Fearing the gods have picked another mate
To pair with thee and cause th' eternal wrong.
For thee my eyes are rivers, and my heart
Is sinking in a lake of brinish tears --
Ah, me! the thought that ever we should part
Ages my youth and strikes me down in years --
I am no knight, no title can I claim,
Gold have I none and riches little store,
A middle station and a modest name,
And honest toil and there is nothing more.
Lombard am I and bred to other skies,
Oft in thy sight I lurk and at thy hand --
Silence I've nourisht, now I raise my eyes,
For thee an exile in a foreign land.
Rosaura, goddess, know at length my zeal --
Soon, soon, shall I my name and heart reveal."
There! what do you think of that?
BRIG.:'Tis fine, surely, but it don't explain nothin'.
FLOR.: What do you mean, it explains nothing? Does it not speak plainly? Why, it paints my portrait exactly and where it says "Lombard am I," doesn't that clearly prove I'm Bolognese?
BRIG.: Lombardy might meän a mort o' towns: Milan, Bergamo, Bressa, Verona, Mantua, Modena -- how be she to guess ye mean Bologna?
FLOR.: Well, take this line: "Oft in thy sight I lurk and at thy hand," doesn't that clearly indicate me?
BRIG.: On'y might be others.
FLOR.: Oh, really, you're too sophisticated; the poem's plain enough and she'll understand.
BRIG.: If ye giv' it her yourself she might guess.
FLOR.: I don't want to give it to her.
BRIG.: Then what be ye agoin' to do?
FLOR.: I thought of throwing it on to the balcony. She'll find it, read it, and know all.
BRIG.: Happen 'tis found by another?
FLOR.: Whoever finds it will give it to Rosaura to read.
BRIG.: "Twould be better --
FLOR.: Oh! be quiet! I shall do it this way. (Throws poem on to balcony.)
BRIG.: Bravo! Ye've better hands nor tongue.
FLOR.: I think someone's coming out on to the balcony.
BRIG.: Bide awhile and watch.
FLOR.: Come away! Come away! (Exit.)
BRIG.: Häve it yer own way. (Exit following FLOR.)
(Enter COLOMBINA on to balcony.)
COLOM.: Something fell on to the balcony. What was it, I wonder? Here's a bit of paper. Can it be a letter? (Opens the paper.) What a nuisance I read so badly! P-O-E-M -- poem. (Calls through window.) Madame, a poem has been thrown on to the balcony.
(Enter ROSAURA through window.)
ROSAURA: A poem? Who threw it?
COLOM.: I don't know, I found it by accident.
ROSAURA: Give it to me, I must read it.
COLOM.: Read it, and then you can tell me all about it, and I'll go on with my ironing whilst my iron's hot.
(Exit into house.)
ROSAURA: Now, what is it all about? (Reads to herself.)
(Enter LELIO in street below.)
LELIO: Ah, there's Rosaura; she's reading something rather attentively. I wonder what it can be?
ROSAURA (to herself): I must say this poem rather surprises me.
LELIO: Permit me the privilege, O fairest, of saluting you.
ROSAURA: Oh, I beg your pardon, my lord, I did not see you.
LELIO: And what are you reading? May I participate?
ROSAURA: It's a poem that Colombina has just discovered on the balcony, and I find that it's addressed to me.
LELIO: And do you know who wrote it?
ROSAURA: There's no name to it.
LELIO: Don't you recognize the handwriting?
ROSAURA: No.
LELIO: Can't you guess who wrote it?
ROSAURA: I've been trying to, and I can't.
LELIO So it's very beautiful?
ROSAURA: Well, it seems so to me.
LELIO: Love poem?
ROSAURA: It's certainly about love and I can't imagine greater tenderness.
LELIO: And you still search the author?
ROSAURA: Yes, I can't make him out.
LELIO: 'Tis an offspring of my muse.
ROSAURA: You wrote this poem!
LELIO: Yes, my dear, none other.
ROSAURA: You amaze me!
LELIO: Perhaps you do not consider me capable of writing a poem?
ROSAURA: Oh, yes, but I wasn't quite expecting this!
LELIO: Do not the verses speak of a heart that adores you ?
ROSAURA: Well, listen to the first lines and tell me if they are yours. (Reads.)
"Heart's idol, O my most adored fate
For thee I suffer silently and long."
LELIO: Of course, it's mine --
"Heart's idol, O my most adorèd fate,
For thee I suffer silently and long."
You see, I know it by heart.
ROSAURA: But why" silently" when you spoke to me yesterday?
LELIO: I didn't explain myself to the thousandth part. Besides I've been silent for a whole year.
ROSAURA: Well, then, this (reads):
"Fearing the gods have picked another mate
To pair with thee and cause th' eternal wrong,
For thee my eyes are rivers and my heart
Is sinking in a lake of brinish tears.
Ah me! the thought that we should ever part
Ages my youth and strikes me down in years."
But who is courting me? Who wants me ?
LELIO: Oh, that's only the usual lover's jealousy. I've not spoken to your father. You are not yet mine, so I am always in doubt, and doubting, weep.
ROSAURA: My lord, be so good as to explain these four exquisite lines. (Reads.):
"I am no knight, no title can I claim
Gold have I none and riches little store.
A middle station and a modest name
And honest toil and there is nothing more."
LELIO (aside): Lud! Here's a pretty fix!
ROSAURA: Is this the offspring of your muse, or is it not?
LELIO: Yes, madam, alas! Yes. The sincere and loyal affection with which you have inspired me no longer permits me to continue a fable which one day, perhaps, would cause you annoyance and put me to the blush. True, I am neither a knight nor do I carry a title. In a fantastic mood I feigned both on presenting myself to two sisters by whom I did not wish to be known. I would not adventure blindfold; I wished first to ascertain if I might flatter myself that in some degree you inclined to me. Then, seeing you pliant to my honest desires, and I hope to some degree partial, I resolved to tell you the truth. But, lacking courage to tell you myself, I hit upon the expedient of telling you in a poem. I am not rich, but of medium fortune; in Naples I follow the noble calling of merchant, so it's quite true that "honest toil there is and nothing more."
ROSAURA: I must say your confession rather surprises me. I ought really to order you from my presence as a deceiver, but I find myself unable to do this. A solid merchant is a not unworthy match. However, the rest of the poem causes me still livelier curiosity.
LELIO (aside): The devil! What worse can follow?
ROSAURA (reads): "Lombard am I and bred to other skies" -- How does that apply to you, a Neapolitan?
LELIO: Naples is a part of Lombardy.
ROSAURA: Well, I never heard that before.
LELIO: Excuse me, read your history. You will find that the Longobards occupied all Italy, and wherever they were in occupation is now called in the language of poetry "Lombardy." (Aside.) With a woman I can make shift to pass for an historian.
ROSAURA: Well, it may be as you say; but to proceed. (Reads.) "Oft in thy sight I lurk and at your hand." I never saw you till last night! How can you say "Oft in thy sight"?
LELIO: Did I use the present tense ?
ROSAURA: Yes.
LELIO: A slip of the pen -- I meant the future. "Oft in thy sight I'll lurk."
ROSAURA (reading): "Silence I've nourisht, now I raise my eyes."
LELIO: I've kept silent a year and can do so no longer.
ROSAURA: There remain the last three lines.
LELIO (aside): If I get out of this I am a prodigy.
ROSAURA (reads): "For thee an exile in a foreign land."
LELIO: If it were not for you I should be at this moment either in London or in Portugal; my business requires it, but my passion for you keeps me in Venice.
ROSAURA (reads): "Rosaura, goddess, know at length my zeal."
LELIO: Well, that line doesn't need an explanation.
ROSAURA (dryly): The last one will. (Reads.) "Soon, soon shall I my name and heart reveal."
LELIO: This is the day, and this the explanation. Know then, I am not Asdrubale di Castel d'Oro, but Ruggiero Pandolfii.
ROSAURA: Well, I could never have mastered the poem without the commentary.
LELIO: Poets invariably speak in symbols.
ROSAURA: So you invented your name, too?
LELIO: Last night I was in the vein of invention.
ROSAURA: What's your vein to-day?
LELIO: That of the sincerest truth.
ROSAURA: Then I may believe your love is not altogether feigned ?
LELIO: I am consumed with passion for you, and will never find peace until I have achieved your hand.
ROSAURA: I do not wish to be subjected to new deceptions. Speak to my father, explain yourself to him, and if he consents I'll not refuse you. Though you've fooled me, I cannot disdain you.
LELIO: Where shall I find your father?
ROSAURA: Here he comes.
DOCTOR (Speaking off in the house): Is that he?
ROSAURA: Yes, but --
DOCTOR (appearing at the window, low to ROSAURA): Go in.
ROSAURA: But, listen --
DOCTOR: Do as you're told, don't put me out.
ROSAURA: I suppose I must obey.
(The DOCTOR draws her in through window -- both disappear.)
LELIO (aside): Really, I did that extremely well. Gil Blas himself has not more complete adventures.
(Re-enter DOCTOR through the street door.)
DOCTOR (aside): You can see from his manner that he's a great nobleman, but he seems to me a bit touched.
LELIO (aside): Now for the father. (Aloud.) Doctor, your humble devoted servant.
DOCTOR: Sir, your most devoted.
LELIO: Have you not, sir, the honour of being the father of Madame Rosaura?
DOCTOR: At your service.
LELIO: I am rejoiced to hear it, and I am entirely at your command.
DOCTOR: Sir, you are too good.
LELIO: Sir, I am a man that in all things employs the most direct route; therefore, without any further beating about the bush, permit me to say that I have fallen a victim to your daughter's charms, and wish to marry her.
DOCTOR: Sir, I like your laconic way of doing things. My answer is that you do me and my house a vast honour which is far above our merits. I will willingly bestow her upon you when you have had the condescension and goodness to establish your identity.
LELIO: When you have given me Rosaura I will immediately reveal myself.
DOCTOR: Are you not the Marquess Asdrubale?
(Enter OTTAVIO.)
OTTAVIO (to LELIO): You're the man I'm looking for. You'll have to account to me for the wicked lies you have been spreading about the doctor's daughters. If you're a gentleman draw your sword.
DOCTOR: What? My Lord Marquess?
OTTAVIO: Marquess be damned! This is Lelio, Signor Pantalone's son.
DOCTOR: The devil! What's all this ?
LELIO (to OTTAVIO): Whoever I am, I have spirit enough to cut your comb. (Draws his sword.)
OTTAVIO (drawing): Come on then, if you're man enough.
DOCTOR (rushing between them): Put up, Ottavio, I'll not have it. Why fight with this monstrous liar? Come away with me.
OTTAVIO: Let me go, I beg of you.
DOCTOR: I refuse, I won't have it! If you love my daughter, come with me.
OTTAVIO: I must obey you. (To LELIO.) We'll meet again.
LELIO: I'm ready for you at any time.
DOCTOR: Bravo, my Lord Marquess! Sir Neapolitan ! Knight! Nobleman! Blackguard! Impostor! Liar!
(Goes into his house with OTTAVIO.)
LELIO: Damn Ottavio! Why does he persecute me like this? I swear to Heaven I'll make him pay for it. This sword shall do it. (Flourishes his sword.)
(Enter ARLECCHINO.)
ARLE.: Whät be ye a-doin' wi' thät sword, mäster?
LELIO: Ottavio challenged me.
ARLE.: An' ye fought 'un?
LELIO: For three-quarters of an hour.
ARLE.: Ay? An' how färed ye ?
LELIO: With a single lunge I transfixed my enemy.
ARLE. He mun be dead?
LELIO: Naturally.
ARLE. Wheer's the body?
LELIO: They've taken it away.
ARLE.: Brävo, mäster, ye be a clever män, ye be. 'Tis the greatest thing ye've ever done.
(Re-enter OTTAVIO.)
OTTAVIO: I've not done with you yet. To-morrow I'll await you on the Guidecca. If you're a man of honour you'll fight me there.
(ARLECCHINO goes through pantomime of admiration on seeing OTTAVIO.)
LELIO: I'll be there.
OTTAVIO: I'll teach you to be less of a liar.
(Exit.)
ARLE. (laughing): Mäster, the dead walk.
LELIO: Rage must have blinded me. I've killed another in his place.
ARLE.: May be you killed 'un wi' a witty invention like!
(Coughs -- exit.)
LELIO: That poem put me in a pretty fix. What could have been worse? "I am no knight, no title can I claim," and then, "Lombard am I and bred to other skies." That of rival mine, whoever he is, caught me very prettily, but, thank Heaven, I have my wits about me. When I make my will I shall have these words engraved on my monument:
"Here Lelio lies of life bereft,
His lies alone are all that's left,
Invention's child, Romance's heir,
The lawyer's guide, and the despair
Of novelist and pamphleteer,
Pray give the tribute of a tear;
And though in tomb you see him lie
Believe it not, oh passer by,
Though you should see him cased in lead
You'd risk a lot to bet he's dead."