Sunday Family Humour 9th October

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

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British Humour

Thanks to Ray O'.

The wife was counting all the 1p's and 2p's and 5p's out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason.

I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."

Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter'

who has stabbed six people in the backside in the last 48 hours,

believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.

Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!

A teddy bear is working on a building site.

He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen.

The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman.

The foreman grins at the bear and says

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked."

Just got back from my mate's funeral.

He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.

19 Irishmen go to the cinema.

The ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?"

Mick replies,

"The film said Over 18."

Astronomy Information

Thanks to Davud H.

This helps by putting things into perspective

Crazy Diver - Stunt Man

Thanks to Cory A.

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Kind Hearted Lawyer

( isn't that an oxymoron ?)

Thanks to Bill S.

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he

saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, 'Why are you eating grass?'

'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied.

'We have to eat grass.'

'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you,' the lawyer

said.

'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me.

They are over there, under that tree.'

'Bring them along,' the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, 'You come with us, also..'

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said,

'But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!'

'Bring them all, as well,' the lawyer answered

They all entered the car, which was no easy task,

even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, '

Sir, you are too kind.'

'Thank you for taking all of us with you.'

The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it.

You'll really love my place..

The grass is almost a foot high.'

Rare historical photos

Thanks to Captain Bob

New Gadgets

Thanks to Jane MacR.

If Oil Prices still increase

Thanks to Ray M.

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