Sunday Family Humour 22nd January
Sunday Family Humour 22nd January
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
ANSWERS OF A BRILLIANT STUDENT WHO GOT AN F....
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage
Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams
Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner
Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half
Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* it will simply become wet
Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ??
* No problem, he sleeps at night
.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build the same wall?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
Fred Astaire and Eleanor Powell
Thanks to Paul S.
You don't see entertainment like this any more.
The World's Largest
Thanks to Tony H.
How amazing some of these things are. The locations of the churches is very surprising. Have any of you encountered the highway exchange?
WORLD'S LARGEST INDOOR SWIMMING POOL
World Water Park ... Edmonton , Albert , Canada ...........SIZE....5 Acres
WORLD'S LARGEST OFFICE COMPLEX ........ CHICAGO
Chicago Merchandise Mart.... Illinois , USA
WORLD'S LARGEST SHOPPING MALL
South China Mall, Dongguan, China. 892,000 meter-square
Shops on 6 floors
WORLD'S WIDEST BRIDGE........ AUSTRALIA
Sydney harbor bridge, Australia ....16 lanes of car traffic.. ....8 lanes in the upper floor, 8 in the lower floor
WORLD'S LONGEST BRIDGE.............. CHINA
Donghai Bridge, China ...................... 32.5 kilo meters
WORLD'S BIGGEST PASSENGER SHIP
MS Freedom of the Seas...... 4300 passenger Capacity Inside
WORLD'S BIGGEST PLANE............... AIRBUS
Airbus A380........... 555 Passengers
WORLD'S BIGGEST BUS
Neoplan Jumbo - cruiser...... 2 in 1 bus.... double deck bus...... 170 passenger capacity
WORLD'S HIGHEST STATUE............... BRAZIL
CHRIST THE REDEEMER STATUE..... RIO.D.J....... BRAZIL
WORLD'S TALLEST BUILDING......... DUBAI
Burj Dubai........... 900 meters high. Finally completed 2008
WORLD'S LARGEST PALACE................... ROMANIA
Palace of the Parliament..... Bucharest , Romania ........... more than 500 bedrooms, 55 kitchens,120 sitting rooms
WORLD'S BIGGEST STADIUM......... BRAZIL
MARACANA STADIUM........... RIO D.J............ BRAZIL CAPACITY...199 ,000
WORLD'S COSTLIEST STADIUM....... ENGLAND
New WEMBLEY STADIUM, London ... 90,000 capacities...............cost..... $1.6 billion
WORLD'S MOST COMPLEX INTER-CHANGE......... TEXAS
Interstate 10 Highways Interchange...... Houston, Texas
WORLD'S BIGGEST EXCAVATOR
Built by KRUPP of Germany ........ 45,500 tons..... 95 meters high....... 215 meters long
WORLD'S LARGEST MOSQUE................. PAKISTAN
Shah Feisal mosque..... Islamabad ... Pakistan
Inside hall capacity ... 35, 000 outside overflow capacity..... 150,000
WORLD'S LARGEST HOTEL......... LAS VEGAS
MGM Grand Hotel... Las Vegas. 6,276 rooms.
WORLD'S MOST EXPENSIVE HOTEL . DUBAI ..U.A.E
Burj Al Arab Hotel, Dubai ... only 7 Star Hotel in the World
Cheapest room... $1000 per night....... Royal suit... $28,000 per night
WORLD'S Largest CHURCH BUILDING ......... NIGERIA
Winners` Chapel.......Canaanland .. Otta........ Nigeria
Inside Sitting Capacity...... 50,000 Outside Overflow Capacity.....250,000
WORLD'S BIGGEST ROMAN-CATHOLIC CATHEDRAL........... IVORY-COAST
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Pink Floyd - Time
Thanks to UnSlaveMe
RETIRED/BORED HUSBAND
Thanks to Capt Bob.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris,
are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms
and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.
This caused the employee to leave her assigned station
and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor
that in turn resulted with a union grievance,
causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in
if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department
to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the
' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels on his chest.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, he yelled
'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
he assumed a
fetal position and screamed
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. Took a box of condoms to the check out clerk and asked where the fitting room was?
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
and then yelled very loudly,
'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
One of the clerks passed out.
The Beauty of Pollination
Reasons for Extinction
Thanks to Lee
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