Sunday Family Humour 5th February Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

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Solving an Old Guy's Problems

Thanks to Tony H.

After being married for 40 years, I took a

careful look at my wife one day and said,

"Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a

junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a

10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep

every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.

Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00

car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but

I'm sleeping with a 63-year-old woman. It seems

to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me

to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she

would make sure that I would once again be living

in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on

a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and

white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know

how to solve an old guy's problems.

The Deep

Thanks To Captain Bob.

An amazing video of sharks

Best Billiard Player

Thanks to David H.

2012 Mercedes

Thanks to Tony H.

So Who Is Too Old to Drive this Car?

Are we GETTING TOO old to DRIVE this Car? Not just me, YOU too!

Presenting

the New Mercedes Benz SCL 600

Pretty, isn't it?

So?

What's different about this car?

Not this...

OR even this...

Here is the real difference

WHOA !

No Steering Wheel

No Pedals either

You drive this car with a joystick

Do you think that you can drive with a joystick?

Your kids and grand kids sure can.

Before you are too old

Thanks Ray M.

A Little Poem

Another year has passed

And we're all a little older.

Last summer felt hotter

And winter seems much colder.

There was a time not long ago

When life was quite a blast.

Now I fully understand

About 'Living in the Past'

We used to go to weddings,

Football games and lunches.

Now we go to funeral homes

And after-funeral brunches.

We used to have hangovers,

From parties that were gay.

Now we suffer body aches

And wile the night away.

We used to go out dining,

And couldn't get our fill.

Now we ask for doggie bags,

Come home and take a pill.

We used to often travel

To places near and far.

Now we get sore asses

From riding in the car.

We used to go to nightclubs

And drink a little booze.

Now we stay home at night

And watch the evening news.

That, my friend is how life is,

And now my tale is told.

So, enjoy each day and live it up...

Before you are too old!

An Amazing Descent

Thanks to Cory A.

Nine Strange Streets

Thanks to Ray O'.

1. Shortest Street in the World, Ebenezer Place – Scotland

Ebenezer Place, in Wick, Caithness, Scotland, is credited by the Guinness Book of Records as being the world's shortest street at 2.06 m (6 ft 9 in). In 2006 it surpassed the previous record (5.2 m, 17 ft) set by Elgin Street, Bacup, Lancashire. The street has only one address: the front door of No. 1 Bistro, which is part of Mackays Hotel.

The street originated in 1883, when Ebenezer Place was constructed; the owner of the building, a hotel at the time, was instructed to paint a name on the shortest side of the hotel. It was officially declared a street in 1887.

2. The Narrowest Street in the World (Spreuerhofstraße) – Germany

Spreuerhofstraße is the world's narrowest street, found in the city of Reutlingen, Baden-Württemberg, Germany. It ranges from 31 centimetres (12.2 in) at its narrowest to 50 centimetres (19.7 in) at its widest.

The lane was built in 1727 during the reconstruction efforts after the area was completely destroyed in the massive city-wide fire of 1726 and is officially listed in the Land-Registry Office as City Street Number 77.

3. Most Complicated Interchange in US, Judge Harry Pregerson Interchange – Los Angeles, USA

The Judge Harry Pregerson Interchange is situated in Los Angeles, CA and is one of the most complicated interchanges in the country. It permits entry and exit in all directions between the I-105 and the I-110. It’s a stack interchange with layers of bridges making a complicated network of roads allowing smooth flow of traffic though both the interstate highways. This interchange was opened in 1993. It is a 4 level interchange with a restricted access lane that can be used by high-occupancy vehicles.

4. Most Crooked Street in US, Lombard St – San Francisco, USA

The street is famous for a small section near the top of Russian Hill, between Hyde and Leavenworth streets. Here the hill is so steep (27°) that it would be too dangerous for most vehicles, so between 1922 and 1923 this part of Lombard Street was transformed into a switchback with eight sharp turns. Cars can only drive downhill, east-bound towards Leavenworth Street.

The crooked section of the street, which is about 1/4 mile (400 m) long, is reserved for one-way traffic traveling east (downhill) and is paved with red bricks. The speed limit in this section is 5 miles per hour (8.0 km/h).

5. The Steepest Street in the World, Baldwin Street – New Zealand

Baldwin Street in a suburban part of New Zealand's southern city of Dunedin, is considered the world's steepest residential street. It is located in the suburb of North East Valley, 3.5 kilometres (2.2 mi) northeast of Dunedin's city centre.

A short straight street a little under 350 metres (1,150 ft) long, Baldwin Street runs east from the valley of the Lindsay Creek up the side of Signal Hill towards Opoho, rising from 30 m (98 ft) above sea level at its junction with North Road to 100 m (330 ft) above sea level at the top, an average slope of slightly more than 1:5. Its lower reaches are only moderately steep, and the surface is asphalt, but the upper reaches of this cul-de-sac are far steeper, and surfaced in concrete (200 m (660 ft) long), for ease of maintenance and for safety in Dunedin's frosty winters. At its maximum, the slope of Baldwin Street is about 1:2.86 (19° or 35%) – that is, for every 2.86 metres travelled horizontally, the elevation rises by 1 metre.

6. Widest Street in the World, 9 De Julio – Buenos Aires, Argentina

Buenos Aires, Argentina, features the widest avenue in the world. At over 300 feet wide, 9 de Julio Avenue occupies a gap of an entire block in the city grid, hence its incredible width. Crossing the avenue at street level often requires a few minutes, as all intersections have traffic lights. Under normal walking speed, it takes pedestrians normally two to three green lights to cross its twelve lanes of traffic.

7. Longest Street in the World, Yonge St – Ontario, Canada

The Longest Street in the World is Yonge Street (pronounced “young”), referred to as “Main Street Ontario”, connects the shores of Lake Ontario in Toronto in Canada to Lake Simcoe, a gateway to the Upper Great Lakes. Actually, it starts on the Toronto lakeshore and winds its way northwesterly along Highway 11 to Rainy River, Ontario, at the Minnesota border. Yonge Street is listed in the Guinness Book of Records as the longest street in the world at 1,896 km (1,178 mi), and the construction of this street is designated an Event of National Historic Significance.

8. Largest Roundabout in the World, Putrajaya – Malaysia

World's Largest Roundabout (Putrajaya - Malaysia) Putrajaya is in the south of Kuala Lumpur. It is a new political center, the loop length of it is 3.4 km. The roundabout is situated around a beautiful hill and green parks.

9. Most Confusing Roundabout in the World, Magic Roundabout – Swindon, UK

The Magic Roundabout in Swindon, England was constructed in 1972 and consists of five mini-roundabouts arranged in a circle. In 2009 it was voted the fourth scariest junction in Britain, in a poll by Britannia Rescue. To be fair, once understood this intersection is amazingly functional and actually designed to reduce overall congestion. However, it is certainly an urban wonder and highly perplexing to the uninitiated.