Sunday Family Humour 30th October Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

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Seniors and Computers

Thanks to Mark G.

I had a computer problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door,

whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and I asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong ?

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless enquired,

'An, ID ten T error ? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Eric grinned....'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before ?

'No,' I replied.

'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

So I wrote down:

ID10T

I used to like Eric.

Rest Room Signs

Thanks to Paul S.

Halloween American Dog costumes

Thanks to Cory A.

REPLACEMENT WINDOWS

Thanks to Captain Bob

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind,

and today I got a call from the contractor who installed them.

He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago

and I still hadn't paid for them.

Hellloooo............just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year,

that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo?

It's been a year! I told him.

There was only silence at the other end of the line,

so I finally just hung up.

He never called back.

I bet he felt like an idiot.

Thought For Today

Thanks to Paul S.

IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN

Thanks to Tony H.

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon.

Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living.

Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:

Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of

clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,

headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play

all‑night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNINGS:

* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are

whispering when you are not.

* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends

over and over again that you love them.

* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.

* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you can

converse enthusiastically with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are

tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Please feel free to share this important information with as many people as you feel may benefit!

Now just imagine what you could achieve with a good Shiraz ..............

Using Onions for health

Thanks to Jane MacR.

A friend of mine told me a story about when he was a kid he was in the hospital & nearly dying.

His grandmother came to the hospital & told a family member to go buy her a large onion & a new pair of white cotton socks.

She sliced the onion open then put a slice on the bottom of each of his feet & put the white cotton socks on him.

In the morning when he awoke they removed the socks.

The slices of onion were black & his fever was gone.

The following story that someone sent to me might have some truth in it & we are going to try it this winter.

In 1919 when the flu killed 40 million people there was this Doctor that visited the many farmers to see if he could help them combat the flu.

Many of the farmers and their family had contracted it and many died.

The doctor came upon this one farmer and to his surprise, everyone was very healthy.

When the doctor asked what the farmer was doing that was different the wife replied that she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms of the home, (probably only two rooms back then).

The doctor couldn't believe it and asked if he could have one of the onions and place it under the microscope.

She gave him one and when he did this, he did find the flu virus in the onion.

It obviously absorbed the bacteria, therefore, keeping the family healthy.

Now, I heard this story from my hairdresser in AZ.

She said that several years ago many of her employees were coming down with the flu and so were many of her customers. The next year she placed several bowls with onions around in her shop.

To her surprise, none of her staff got sick.

It must work.. (And no, she is not in the onion business.)

The moral of the story is, buy some onions and place them in bowls around your home.

If you work at a desk, place one or two in your office or under your desk or even on top somewhere.

Try it and see what happens. We did it last year and we never got the flu.

For flu cure: cut both ends off an onion put one end on a fork and then place the forked end into an empty jar

...placing the jar next to the sick patient at night. I

t said the onion would be black in the morning from the germs

...sure enough it happened just like that

...the onion was a mess and I began to feel better.

Onions and garlic placed around the room saved many from the black plague years ago. They have powerful antibacterial, antiseptic properties.

One more thing, never store cut onions and consume the next day.

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Hash House Harriers

The Hash House Harriers (abbreviated to HHH, H3, or referred to simply as Hashing)

is an international group of non-competitive running, social and drinking clubs,

whose organisation and mismanagement have existed for over 50 years.

harriermagazine.com

Visit relaxing Laos

Vientiane Hashes run every Saturday and Monday

See You Next Week

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