Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.'
He looked around and couldn't see anyone.
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,'Pick me up.'
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'
The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you.' Pick me up, then kiss me;
and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because
I will be your bride!'
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked
it up carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket.
The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?'
I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.'
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.'
With age comes wisdom.
Thanks to Ray M.
A woman goes back to work after thirty years.
Watch carefully, the video is only 4 seconds long, but you'll get it!!!
If you're younger than 40 years old, you may not understand it.
One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering,
the pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000.
It happened again the next week!
The following Sunday,
he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate.
This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.
"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.
"Why, yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money,
and I give some of it to the church."
The pastor replied, "That's wonderful.
But $1,000 is a lot; are you sure you can afford this?
How much does he send you?"
The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week."
The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful;
what does he do for a living?"
"He is a veterinarian," she answered.
"That's an honorable profession,
but I had no idea they made that much money," the pastor said..
"Where does he practice?"
The woman answered proudly, "In Nevada ...
He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas and one in Reno"
Thanks to David H.
A senior citizen drove his brand new
Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph,
enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him,
lights flashing and siren blaring.
He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.
Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this,"
and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said,
"Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday.
If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before,
I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused.
Then he said,
"Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper.
I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
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