Sunday Family Humour 1st January

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

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He Said To  Me!

Thanks to Ray M.
He said to me

He said to  me . ... . I don't know why you wear a bra;  you've got nothing to put in it.
I said to  him .... . . You wear pants don't  you?


He said to  me ... . ......... Shall we try swapping  positions tonight?
I said
  ..  That's a good idea - you stand by the stove  & sink while I sit on the sofa and  fart 


He said to  me. ... What have you been doing with all the  grocery money I gave you?
I said to him .  .....
 Turn  sideways and look in the mirror! 


He said  to me. ..... Why don't women blink during  foreplay?
I said to him ... . They don't have  time.


He said to  me. . How many men does it take to change a roll  of toilet paper?
I said to him .. .. I don't  know; it has never happened.


He said to  me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are  sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said  to him . . . They already have  boyfriends.


He  said..What do you call a woman who knows where  her husband is every night?
I said. . ... A  widow.


He said to  me.... Why are married women heavier  than single women?
I said to him .. .  .. Single women come home, see what's in the  fridge and go to bed.
Married women come  home, see what's in bed and go to the  fridge.

The Kingdom of Britain

Thanks to Paul S.


Unbelievable card trick

Thanks to Ray M.

Irish magician Dave Cremin in a short video clip here is seen
performing the greatest card trick you'll
ever witness
-- right in the streets in the heart of Times Square

Card Trick

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Ode to Nature

Thanks to Lee

Ode to Nature.pps

Fisherman catches 4 deer

deer 1
December 10, 2011 By Second Chance Ranch (Elma, WA) ·
Some fishing stories are a little hard to believe, but this guy has pictures to prove his story...

Tom Satre told the Sitka Gazette that he was out with a charter group on his 62-foot fishing vessel when four juvenile black-tailed deer swam directly toward his boat.
"Once the deer reached the boat, the four began to circle the boat, looking directly at us. We could tell right away that the young bucks were distressed.

I opened up my back gate and we helped the typically skittish and absolutely wild animals onto the boat. In all my years fishing, I've never seen anything quite like it! “

Once on-board, they collapsed with exhaustion, shivering. We headed for Taku Harbour. Once we reached the dock, the first buck that we had been pulled from the water hopped onto the dock, looked back as if to say 'thank you' and disappeared into the forest.”

deer 2
deer 3
the smallest deer needed some help so they hauled him ashore in a wheelbarrow.

Russian Rednecks

Thanks to Tony H.

Testing an air-bag


Welcome to Israel

Thanks to Ray O'.
The El Al plane landed at Ben Gurion airport, and as it taxied to the terminal, the voice of the captain came on:

"Please remain seated with your seat belts fastened until this plane has come to a complete stop at the gate, and the seat belt signs have been turned off. 
We also wish to remind you that cell phones may not be used until the exit doors have been opened.

  "To those who are still seated, we wish you a 
Merry Christmas, and hope that you enjoy your visit to Israel.

To those of you standing in the aisles and talking on your cell phones, we wish you a 
Happy Hanukkah, and welcome back home."

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